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Luke and Leia Debate With Each Other

3 ABY

Falling was surprisingly easy, in itself - probably because he didn't have to do anything. The hard part was looking past the feeling of wind against his face, of absolute weightlessness, and reaching out to Leia in faith that she'd hear him.

He'd been told time after time by Rebel Command (and the other members of Rogue Squadron) that his unrelenting faith in his friends would one day get him killed. That one day no one would be there to save him. But something told him Leia had gotten free, and would find a way to help. Maybe it was the Force, maybe it was intuition, maybe it was just an acute knowledge of the way his sister's mind worked. But he believed it.

Even as a part of him said maybe it was just a lie he insistently told himself to try to keep from thinking about what would happen when he stopped falling.

"What happened?" Leia all but shrieked when Han returned from the top hatch, Luke clinging to him like a lifeline. Her brother had been hanging from the antennae under the belly of Cloud City, and she had no kriffing idea how he'd managed to get up there.

"I'm fine, Leia," Luke tried to say, his voice quiet.

Her eyebrows shot up. "You are missing your hand." His eyes sought out the stump in question, faint surprise marring his features, like he hadn't noticed. "And your lightsaber, and you never part with that. Luke, what happened?"

"I fought Vader," he said simply. Han gave him A Look, like he was simultaneously shocked and pleased the kid was still alive, but nevertheless wanted to throttle him for being so reckless. She shared the sentiment - not that she was surprised. This was Luke, after all.

"I know there's more to it than that, Luke."

He didn't answer. And even during the subsequent dogfight and escape, he didn't explain. He didn't explain at all with Han and Lando and Chewie (who was giving her brother oddly understanding looks) within earshot, and only did so when they reached the Rebel flagship and Luke's hand was being treated.

Leia asked him again what had happened, once everyone except the med-droid had left the room, and this time he replied, "I worked something out before I left Dagobah. About. . . our parents."

She felt herself freeze then. "What was it?" came the careful reply. No comment at all on his mention of where he'd been since he last saw her - jumping straight to the heart of the matter.

He said slowly, "Once, years ago, your mother mentioned offhandedly to me that Obi-Wan only ever had one apprentice. Whereas he'd always told me that there were two: Anakin Skywalker, our father, and Vader." He paused, glancing up to make sure she understood the weight of what he was saying. "But there was only ever one."

Luke didn't insult her intelligence by spelling it out for her. So after a moment her eyes blew wide and she felt her breathing stutter. "What- I- No." She shook her head vehemently. "No."

Her brother's eyes were sad, and he winced. "I didn't think much of it at the time, but in later years I began to wonder. And then on the Death Star-" His expression turned apologetic as she couldn't quite suppress a flinch, "-I noticed something. . . odd. . . about the way Vader acted. The pieces fell together after that. Ben confirmed it before I left to come here."

"Confirmed what?" She didn't know, didn't want to know, why did she even ask-

"That-"

"You know what?" She crossed the room to lean against the wall, not quite looking at her brother. Petty, perhaps, considering Luke had been ordered by the med droid to remain exactly where he was while he was still unaccustomed to the prosthetic, but it wasn't like he wouldn't disobey the orders if he really wanted to. "I don't want to know."

"But yes," Luke said loudly. Pointedly. "It's true. Vader said it was as well, and why would he lie?"

"To mess with our heads."

"I trust Ben."

And therein lay the heart of the problem. They'd both trusted Obi-Wan so much, for so long, but to find out this. . .

If it was a lie, then that meant Ben had betrayed their trust here and now, from beyond the grave. It would destroy Luke.

If it was the truth, then that meant he'd been lying to them - Leia's parents had been lying to them - for twenty years. It would destroy them both.

"No," Leia said again, shaking her head, but the word was weak. Resigned. That the man who'd tortured her aboard the Death Star, tortured millions, was- "How are you so calm about this?"

Luke laughed, but it wasn't his usual laugh. There was no mirth to it. "Oh, I wouldn't call myself calm. Not when I know that my idolised father is a homicidal Sith Lord who tortured my friends, cut off my hand, and is dead set on destroying the Rebellion and everything we've ever worked for." His voice softened. "But I've been considering the possibility of it for years, however outlandish it seemed at the time. I'm not surprised - just. . . regretful, about it." Guilty, was what he didn't need to say.

Oh.

Oh.

So the self-loathing she'd sensed from him when he'd approached Cloud City. . . "It's not your fault, Luke" She swallowed. "It's neither of our faults."

"I know," he said, the words no more than an exhale of breath. "I know that." But I don't believe it. I can't believe it.

Leia wished she could comfort him further, but she couldn't - not when she knew exactly what he meant. She rubbed her throat. If only he'd told her about his suspicions sooner, if only she'd been prepared, if only they'd never been Vader's. . . progeny. . . to begin with. . .

But they always had been - that wouldn't change anything. They wouldn't exist without. . . him.

If only they'd never known - never had to find out. . .

Her father's - her real father's, not his - voice echoed in her head. 'If only' will help nobody, Leia.

I know, Papa, she thought, but somehow she couldn't help herself. I know.

And despite - or perhaps in spite of - this new knowledge, she only hated Vader more now. More than she had when he'd tortured her. More than she had when he'd stood by as Tarkin blew up Alderaan. More than she had when he'd threatened to freeze Han in carbonite and give him to Boba Fett.

He was the reason they suffered like this. If they'd known who their sire was, if they'd had time to get used to being ashamed-

If he'd been someone they didn't have to be ashamed of-

It always came down to him. Him and his ruthlessness and evil and the legend of the Sith with the bloody lightsaber who had destroyed too many people she loved.

"I hate him." She said the words out loud, still looking away from Luke, even as she felt him looking at her.

Her brother didn't. He didn't hate Vader, because he was more optimistic and forgiving than she was - than anyone else she'd ever met. He didn't hate Vader, because Vader was Anakin Skywalker, and Luke had spent too long idolising the man to fully hate him. He loved too fiercely to consider hatred before considering love - love that the man did not deserve.

And his voice was full of the pain that internal battle drew as he said, "I know."