Chapter Ten: Ballad of Broken Dreams

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; they had everything before them, they had nothing before them; they were all going direct to Heaven, they were all going direct the other way.

In short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its nosiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

At least, that's what Hilda thought.

Halfway drunk and completely paralyzed from exhaustion, Hilda's golden eyes barely stayed open as she gazed at the dizzy fan spinning directly over her head. Lazy eyes tried following the slow blades, but in her stupor, she was only able to move her eyes around in pathetic circles.

Her breath stank of alcohol a little and her body smelled of money. A sick, tired feeling welled up in her stomach, and in the heat of the room and the dizziness of it all, the Hot Ice began to melt; that is, great beads of perspiration began appearing all over her body.

She wore little more than the necessities. Her breathing was very slow and thin, almost as if she was dying, and in a way, she was. In the distance, a very depressing song was playing on the radio, about loneliness and death and betrayal. One lazy hand reached up to Hilda's mouth, and the remains of the sake vanished in her mouth. She snarled, the drink being more potent than she remembered, and tried not to spew it out on her barely-concealed body.

Joshua, smelling of failure, opened the door and staggered inside the house, a dejected look on his face. Ironically, the song on the radio suddenly turned into a slow feel-good song, the singers sounding quite melodic and maybe high on some new drug. The gorgeous Hilda, the Hot Ice, who was currently quite drunk and reeking of many things, smiled as her twin brother emerged from the outside world. She couldn't move.

"Hey," said Joshua weakly. "I couldn't find a job."

"…That's okay," she slurred hazily. "…I'm sure you'll find something soon…" She smiled just barely, perspiring even though she had not moved much in an hour. Her eyes were just barely open, and even though she stank and was drunk and was sweating, Hilda still looked like an angel as she laid there smiling.

Himself not in the mood for happiness, Joshua slumped over and plopped down on the ruined couch. He gazed at his sister, and smiled at one of the few bright moments in his life. He was tempted to roll over and fall on the floor, where he would crawl over to his sister and join her. His heart liked the idea, but his body did not, so a war was waged for a little while.

An hour or so passed, and Joshua's body won. With a muffled plop, he fell to the floor and crawled towards his miserable sister. His own body protested movement, so he had to use a little force to get across the dirty floor. Packets of a million different kinds of food and condiment were scattered across, and it would be up to Joshua to clean it all.

With a sigh, Joshua pulled himself towards his twin sister, and hugged onto her arm as she laid there. Hilda grinned despite her oncoming headache, and felt drunk enough to give her Self to him. The two of them sat there in their filthy apartment room, waiting for a future that never seemed to come. One year had passed since their graduation.

With an equally uneventful entry, Tijl came into the room. Only Joshua did not rake in money; everyone else bore some kind of income. In the past year, Felona had moved out and found a nice place to stay for the rest of her life. Because of her new occupation, she was becoming quite rich, but no so rich as to support three other friends. She had offered to take Joshua in, but since he was currently unemployed, he regrettably declined. He didn't want poor Felona to support him unless he was working.

Tijl and Hilda remained in the same apartment, and it seemed like once Joshua found a steady job, the apartment would become abandoned again and the four friends would marry and live with their individual lovers. The oldest among them, Joshua, was neither lazy nor lacking ambition, but he never could find a wonderful job that catered to his abilities.

Sighing, Tijl kneeled to the floor and joined his girlfriend. Hilda smiled as the two most-wonderful men in her life held onto her hands, and in a drunken stupor, she wished to have them both. Sanity took over, as did her olfactory glands, and with a terrible moan of pain and laziness, Hilda exerted all her energies to stand on her feet.

"…Hey, guys…" she slurred, "…I gotta take a shower. Anyone wanna join me?"

"Don't accept," sighed Joshua wearily, gazing at his Ctarl friend. "She's had too much sake. She can't think straight."

"Yeah…"

"Hey, are you saying things about me?" muttered Hilda wearily. Joshua looked up at his sister and smiled.

"Never," he replied. Hilda grinned, and took one step towards the bathroom before falling to the floor. She giggled, even as Joshua and Tijl lifted her arms up from the floor and carried her into the bathroom. Hilda was so out of it that she could not even undress herself, so Tijl was given Joshua's job of cleaning up the house as the eldest Fenril helped his sister.

"You're more trouble than you're worth, Hildy," sighed Joshua. Regaining her sanity briefly, Hilda smiled and gave him a kiss.

"Hey, I can take care of myself," she said dreamily. "I need this shower. You don't have to help." A pause. Joshua shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

"All right… Just don't slip and fall."

"Gotcha." Hilda winked, and kissed her brother again before he left to clean up the rest of the house.

Another dark and depressing song played on the radio as Tijl and Joshua tidied up the small apartment. The two strained their backs as they picked up dirt and filth from the floor, and a vacuum had to be applied several times over before it was really sanitary. Windows were washed and the mountain of laundry was cleaned; dirt was scrubbed off the walls, and bulbs were changed so the room looked a little brighter.

As Joshua and Tijl finished their rounds, Hilda stepped out of the bathroom with her traditional light-blue bathrobe on. She looked and smelled much better--so much so that she received a warm hug and kiss from her two favorite guys.

"Feeling better?"

"Much," she sighed. "Remind me to never do that again."

"Will do," smiled Joshua. "That's what we're here for, right?" A pause. Hilda smiled, and gave her unemployed mooch of a brother a tight hug.

"Right. Together forever."

"Together forever," responded Joshua.

"Forever and ever," said Tijl, and in the cleanliness and filth of the room and their lives, the friends banded together and made their yearly solemn oath of Friendship Together Forever.

Their futures, however slowly they came, were still quite uncertain. Money, bills, food, clothes, it all plagued the three friends. Bad trading seasons came and went, and belts had to be tightened upon many occasions. Sometimes, the Fenrils were so poor that they began to miss their life in the orphanage; other times, Hilda nearly came close to prostituting herself just to get by.

But they managed to live on. Pick-me-ups from Felona ensured them that they would never be in want, and her omnipresent hospitality ensured them that they always had someplace to go to, but her schedule forbade them to actually meet. Four more years would pass before the four friends would ever meet again; until that time, they would just have to keep living, despite so many of their dreams being broken.

To be continued…

Closing comments: Up until this point, things have been pretty straightforward and (I'll admit it) dull, but what else do you expect from a biography? I really haven't answered any questions up to this point, i.e. why Hilda has an eye patch, why she became an outlaw, the reason she was looking for the XGP and Melphina, why her relationship with the pirates was so bitter, etc. etc. The next five chapters will answer any and all questions, and will also wrap up Hilda's biography. I must warn all readers, however--the ending may not be to your liking. I put "angst/drama" up there for a reason… and the rating might change, too. Things will take a more interesting turn, so you'd better get ready!