The Scars of War
Author's Note: Thanks again to my beta! I know that the relationship between Laura and Leoben seems to be a bit weird, but hopefully this chapter will give a little more insight. Please let me know what you think. Enjoy
Disclaimer: Characters and ideas from BSG are not my property
Two Months, 6 Days
Yesterday, Leoben had worn the fight with the cylons before he dropped me off at my tent to get changed and freshen up. He had stayed outside the tent to give me some privacy and probably to make sure that none of the other cylons came back. I took my time to get dressed and put on the heavy dark sweater that Bill had given me along with a pair of pairs and the boots that Kara had found in my size. When I finally walked outside, Leoben was waiting for me and smiled when he saw me.
"You really do look great in anything you wear," he said.
I had brushed the comment off and started to walk in the direction that he had motioned. He brought his arm around my back and placed his hand on my hip, pulling me into his side. I could see that several of the settlers were giving looks of pity and compassion, so I tried to pull away from him, only to be grabbed from behind. A gunshot rang out as I was pulled further back and into a tent. I saw Leoben fall to the ground and knew that he was dead.
I struggled to get out of the grasp as I am lifted into the air and spun around, "Will you stop struggling and just accept the fraking help, woman!" Tigh's voice cut through my panicked state.
I stopped moving and looked around to find Tigh, Tyrol, and Cottle gathered in the tent.
"What was that?" I practically yelled at them.
"Well, excuse us for trying to rescue you your highness," Tigh growled.
"I didn't need rescuing!"
"But Madame President," Tyrol stepped forward, "We figured you would want help getting away from the Leoben model."
"He is the one that saved me!" I screamed, "He fought the other models to make sure that I could be free from the detention center whenever he could."
"Young lady," Cottle broke in, "You can finish your crazy tale about the love sick cylon after I check you over," he barked before he grabbed my arm and sat me on the bed.
I sat down on the bed and let him poke and prod me as Tigh and Tyrol disappeared down into the bunker, which I was grateful of when Cottle began to pick up my shirt. He pulled it up far enough to look at the fading bruises and the still wrapped ribs.
"You seem to be healing well. They let you keep your ribs wrapped?" he asked astonished.
"No," I answered remembering what happened right after Cavil and Doral go me alone, "Cavil and Doral took it off, but Leoben made sure that I got it put back on in secret."
"Laura," he sighed before tugging my shirt back down, "I know you don't want to share why you trust this cylon so much, but I am worried that he is getting a little too attached."
"He has respected my wishes and stopped every time I ask him to," I say, frustrated at being questioned for the thousandth time.
"What do you mean by every time?" he narrowed his eyes, "How many times has he made advances towards you exactly?"
"It's nothing, Jack. I promise."
"What kind of advances, Laura?" he asks sternly.
"You are not my father, Jack, and I don't have to tell you everything," I say defensively, "I can handle this without you coddling me."
"You're right!" he growled, "I am not in charge of you, but the Old Man gave me one very specific job while I was down here. In fact he gave all of us one specific job, and that was to protect you! He didn't want anything to happen to you down here, and although he may have said that before the toasters came back, I am sure that doesn't change a thing."
"He asked all of you to protect me?" I gasp.
"Of course he did! He wasn't going to let you out of his sight without some kind of reassurance."
I could not believe that Bill had asked his people to look after me, but it would explain why Kara had spent so much time around the school tent.
"Madame President," Tyrol called as he and Tigh emerged from the bunker, "We have the com link up and are going to contact the Admiral in a few minutes."
"Thank you, Chief," I stood up and started to follow them back down when Tigh motioned for Tyrol to go back up to Cottle, "Want to tell me what is going on with the cloak and dagger routine?"
"We've got some time to kill and I want to know why you were so outraged that we shot the toaster," he said without looking at me.
"I told you that it is none of your business," I knew this was coming.
"Yeah well, I am about to talk to the man that I know we both care about, and tell him that he is clear to start the attack in a few days," he huffed, "But, if I find out that the cylon that helped us is actually telling this to the rest of them, I am going to be pissed. If my best friend is murdered because you are fraking a toaster and won't tell me, then I am going to blame you."
I didn't even feel my hand connect with his cheek until the sound caught up with me. The sting in my hand was nothing compared to the pain I felt in my chest at the idea of being the reason Bill died.
"You have no idea what you are talking about," I can feel the tears start to well in my eyes, "I would never do anything to hurt Bill, and you know that."
"Then tell me why I should trust the cylon," he said.
"I can't," I try to keep my voice steady as the tears threaten to fall.
"Then I am not letting you talk to him," he shook his head "I can't let you know what is going on, and risk getting him and his son killed. I am not going to let you break his heart all so that you can have fun down here while he is suffering like the rest of us."
"Leoben and I are not sleeping together!" I cried out.
"You could have fooled me. I thought you two were just so cozy walking through the streets wrapped around each other," he stepped closer to me, "Tell me, did you ever really care about Bill, or were you just waiting for something else to come along."
I tried to slap him again, but he caught my wrist and pulled me closer to him, "You have no right to talk to me that way," I ground out.
"Either tell me what happened to you in detention, or you are leaving and I will just tell the Old Man that Leoben is keeping you occupied," he threatened.
I stand there for a minute thinking about his words and the options he had given me. If I hadn't known it was Tigh in front of me, I would swear that I was back in my cell being given another alternative to betray my people.
"He has been helping me get treated for the wounds and has even volunteered to punish me so that he can pretend to and spare me the pain," I say deciding to go for the vague truth.
Tigh seemed to think for a moment before speaking, "So you are not going to admit to having sex with Leoben?"
"Why the hell would I admit to something that never happened?" I scoff.
"Because it did happen," he said coldly as he watched my face turn from confusion to horror to anger, "You want to know why I got out of detention so early? Or why you don't see Ellen anymore?"
He steps closer to me and I step back and stubble over a chair before I end up sitting down on it.
"Ellen went to Cavil to negotiate my release," he said calmly, almost as if he were detached from the memory, "He asked her to spy on us after he released me, but before he released me, he told Ellen a few interesting stories. Before I had to poison my own wife to ensure that this escape would happen without any unnecessary deaths, she shared those stories with me. One in particular involved you and Leoben having sex as Cavil watched."
I broke at the insinuation that what Cavil said was true, "Leoben and I didn't have sex, and Cavil may have watched but that was not all he did! Cavil and Leoben raped me! I was forced to have sex with them after I refused to tell them anything about Earth or the possible members of the resistance. Don't you dare think that I would just throw myself at them because I felt helpless or that I wanted to be with them!"
"Then why the hell do you trust Leoben?!" he yelled.
"Because he said he could help me get back to Bill!" I matched his volume before I realized that I finally understood why I was willing to put up with Leoben's advances, "He said he could help me get into contact with Bill…and after everything that has happened…everything that we have been through, I was willing to take the chance if it meant seeing him again."
Suddenly I heard static in the room that was not there when we first started this argument, and then there was a break in the static before a familiar voice came through the com.
"You will see me again Laura," Bill's voice, full of sadness and remorse, echoed through the silence.
"Bill?" I gasp before turning back to Tigh, "What did you do?"
"I brought the microphone with me," he said, "I needed to know that I could trust you and this Leoben model, but Bill needed to know what was going on."
"That was not your decision to make!" I could feel the tears starting to form again.
"I wanted to know that you were okay, Laura," Bill's voice came through again, "I knew you had something to hide after our last conversation, and nobody could give me answers that only you had."
"You should have asked me, Bill," I said before leaving the bunker and heading through the tent and out into the streets of New Caprica.
I went straight to my personal tent and opened the flaps before sealing them shut and letting the tears fall. I had wanted to make sure that Bill would never find out about what happened in that cell, or at least be able to control how much I told him and when. Now, Bill knew everything that had happened and all through a microphone while being who knows how many millions of miles away. I was supposed to be able to go back to him and be able to hold him and kiss him as if nothing had ever happened, but now that would never be the case. I laid down on my cot and let my tears sooth me to sleep.
This morning I woke up to find that Leoben was sitting in a chair in my tent, watching me sleep. He didn't say anything as he waited for me to adjust to the real light of day and not the artificial crap that was fed to me in the cell. He handed me a glass of water and watched as I sat up and slowly drank the contents of the glass.
"I'm sorry to have startled you by being here, but I figured that if I had waited outside, I would have been shot again, "he watched as I stayed silent with my legs curled up against my chest, "You were crying last night, weren't you?"
"I'm fine," I say, but when I look away, I know not even an idiot like Baltar would believe me.
He stood up and sat next to me on the cot, "What happened?"
"It's nothing," I try to brush his concern off, but he put an arm round my shoulder and pulled me into his side and I felt a sob escape me at the comfort I felt, "Bill found out about everything that happened in the detention cell."
"And you weren't the one to tell him?" he asked as he turned us so that we could lie back on the cot.
"I was, but Tigh tricked me into telling him," I sobbed into is chest, "I didn't know that Bill was listening and Tigh kept bombarding me with all of these questions about why he should trust you. He threatened to not let me talk to him and said that if Bill died when they came to rescue us, it would all be my fault."
He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head, "I know you are upset, but why is it so bad that he knows how strong you are?"
"He knows about the rape," I choke out, "He knows that I was not faithful to him. I am dirty now."
"You did nothing wrong, Laura," he soothed, "You couldn't do anything to stop it without betraying your people. You are so strong, and if he does not understand that, then he does not deserve to be with you."
He placed his hand under my cheek and gently tilted my head up to look at him. He smiled down at me before he brought his lips down on mine. The arm that was around my shoulders moves lower to encircle m waist as his other hand weaves up the back of my neck to tangle lightly in my hair. He pulls me deeper into the kiss as he slowly rolls over me. I can feel the heat rising and pooling at my center, and I start to kiss him back. His touch is so light that I don't feel him start to remove my sweater until his warm hands come into contact with my cool skin. He brings his hands up to caress my breasts, as his lips start to break away from mine and travel across my jaw.
My sweater is removed quickly and so is his shirt. His lips are still trailing down my jaw and towards my neck as he reaches to undo my pants. They unsnap easily and he places his hands on my hips as he slowly pushes them down. I pick my hips up off the cot as his hands continue their trek down my legs and his lips continue to caress my neck. My breaths are coming in heavily now that I am almost naked under him.
As my pants are thrown off, his lips meet mine again before he whispers, "I love you, Laura."
Suddenly, I can hear a different voice saying those exact same words. His voice is husky and smooth and a bit distorted by the sounds of air waves. I can see him being the one on top of me right now, kissing me and driving me insane like he always did when he would come planet side. This was all wrong.
"Leoben," I say breathlessly as I push at his chest, "Wait, we can't do this," he is still kissing and caressing me and as he goes to remove my bra, I push harder, "Leoben, stop!"
Instantly, he stills and pulls away slightly, "What's wrong, Laura? Did I hurt you?"
"No," I say as I grab for a blanket that Bill had given me and cover my chest, "You didn't hurt me."
"Then what's wrong?" he asked as he brought his hand down to caress my cheek.
I place my hand on his wrist and slowly move his had away from my face, "I can't do this."
"Why not, Laura?" he whispered, "It's alright. If Adama doesn't love you, I will."
"He does love me, Leoben, and I love him," I say gently, "and that's the point. I can't betray him like this. You were right. I couldn't stop what happened before, but I can stop what is happening now."
"But I love you too, Laura," he leans back down and kisses me again, "I love you so much," he deepens the kiss and I have to throw him off to get him to stop.
"Please, Leoben. If you really do love me then you will stop this," I pleaded with him.
He nodded before stiffly standing up and gathering his lost clothing. He is silent the entire time that the gets dressed, and I know that he is mad at me and possibly himself, but I don't really know what to do.
He reaches down to grab my pants before he throws them at me, "Get dressed."
"Why?" I asked a bit frightened at his change in manner.
"Because I have to take you back to the detention center," he says caustically, "It's your choice. You are just going to lose your clothes anyway when you get to your cell. I can take you there in your clothes or your underwear, either is fine with me."
"Leoben, why are you doing this?" I ask, frozen in my cot.
"Because Cavil was right about you," he sneered, "He said that you never cared about me, and that even if I won the fight, you still wouldn't let me touch you."
"Leoben, I-"
"Get dressed now, or I will lead you out there in nothing but what you are wearing now," he interrupted.
I grabbed my sweater and pants and waited for him to leave or turn his back, but he did neither.
"What are you waiting for, Roslin?" he growled.
"I-I thought you…uh, you were going to leave," I stammer, "Or turn around."
"You have lost that privilege," he shook his head, "now get dressed."
I quickly got dressed and tried to ignore the fact that I could feel his eyes on me as I pulled my pants up over my hips and snapped them closed. My sweater came on next and as I look up, I see him standing right in front of me holding a pair of handcuffs and a centurion is waiting behind him at the entrance of the tent.
"I heard them coming," he whispered, "the Sharon that I killed is with them. Just play along and I will have you back out in no time."
I am so confused now. Actually, confused is probably too small of a word to describe how I am feeling right now. One minute he says he loves me, then he is a complete ass, and now he is on my side again. Maybe Cottle and Tigh were right not to trust him.
"What about earlier?" I ask hesitantly as he slips the cuffs onto my wrists, "You're not mad, are you?"
Once the cuffs are on, he grabs my hands in his, "Laura, I am not mad at you. I could never be mad at you. I am disappointed yes, and I wish that things could be different, but I told you I would never hurt you on purpose and that I would always be here for you, and I meant it."
"What about what Cavil said?"
"He was wrong," he said softly, "While I now that you will never care for me the way that you do for Adama, you did stick up for me in front of your doctor and Col. Tigh. Plus, you did let me touch you, even if it was a moment of weakness," he smiled and winked at me, "Now let's get you there so we can get you out again."
I followed behind him, still a little skeptical and scared, but I hid it well and was comforted by the fact that he had told the truth. Sharon and a few more centurions were waiting for us outside of my tent. This was going to interesting.
TBC…