Rose stayed as distant as possible, if not for Morgana's sake but for her own. She reminded herself over and over why she couldn't let herself get too close, but still she found herself questioning how bad the consequences could actually be. Maybe I'm being a bit over-dramatic about the whole 'death' thing, she reasoned, but in the same breath fiercely reminded herself, Right, like King Uther Pendragon would be so merciful if he found a servant in bed with his ward-slash-adopted daughter. Makes total sense, Rosie.
If Morgana noticed Rose's slightly distant behavior, she certainly didn't say anything. The only indication that the noble picked up on her servant's hesitation was that she hadn't again invited Rose into her bed. For that, Rose was grateful, because she wasn't sure if she'd be able to summon enough willpower to say no if Morgana asked. When there's a will, there's a way, but with her current inner debate raging on in her head, she wasn't even positive if there was a will to stay clear of getting closer than necessary to Morgana. Rose made a mental note to make a decision on that already before she was driven insane.
In the meantime, she continued to stay later than usual with Morgana- well, not with Morgana, because she was trying to avoid all of that, but she was just staying later in the chambers at night. She'd keep herself busy with little tasks and chores, anything that didn't produce too much noise so as not to wake the King's ward. In the past week, Morgana had only woken up from a nightmare once, but had tossed and turned in her sleep all the other nights. When Rose had comforted her she had simply held the woman's pale, cool hand, afraid to get too close and get sucked into something she would later regret.
Morgana retired early from dinner that night, claiming a headache and apologizing to the king, who had simply waved her off. As soon as they reached her chambers, Morgana rolled her eyes and released a long, growling sigh. Stepping behind her dressing screen to slip into a more comfortable dress to sleep in, Rose heard the woman murmur, "I'm not sure how much longer I can take this."
Frowning, Rose stepped closer and asked curiously, "Take what, milady?"
Morgana scoffed and peered over at her servant through one of the holes in the top of the screen. "Uther, of course. Did you hear him, just a little while ago? He was telling an old story to Arthur and I, about the Great Purge. About how he rounded up and caged Druids and other magical peoples like they were animals." She released a sharp, angry laugh. "He was practically boasting about it, as if it were some great accomplishment, executing those people. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it, how this is what passes for a good king- a complete lack of conscience and a lust for blood." The acid in Morgana's voice made Rose flinch as the woman stalked out from behind the screen in her night dress.
"Milady, I think that it's time for you to go sleep," Rose said, as gently as she could. Morgana's glare turned on her for a fraction of a second before her gaze softened, and she sighed again, this one betraying her absolute exhaustion. The raven-haired woman nodded once before moving to her bed, murmuring goodnight before burrowing under the covers. A small smile tugging on her lips, Rose began the chores she wished to accomplish that night out of pure instinct.
Two hours later, she was tidying up one of the adjoining rooms that was attached to Morgana's main chambers. Humming a quiet tune, Rose adjusted furniture and swept up the layer of dust that covered the floor. This room is filthy, she thought absentmindedly to herself, wondering when was the last time it had been cleaned. Just as she began to calculate estimations just to amuse herself, a shrill scream from Morgana's chambers had her practically jumping out of her skin. The broom she had been using clattered to the ground with a loud smack, and Rose's eyes widened in fear- was that scream from a nightmare or because of something else?
Rushing towards the chamber to find out , she reached the threshold of the door and froze in horror at what she saw. Morgana jerked upward in her bed, and time seemed to slow as her eyes flashed a rich gold color. The glass vase sitting on the table in front of her bed shattered, and Rose found herself numb. She'd seen eyes flash that color before. She remembered like it was only yesterday- her aunt, with her kind smile and impish face, her eyes flashing a liquid gold just before she summoned those butterflies. There was only one explanation, and that was that Morgana had magic. Rose knew it to be true, she felt it deep in her bones.
Morgana had magic, but what about the king? Did he know? Of course he doesn't know! The man despised and loathed magic with every fiber of his being, he'd most likely have his ward killed for her magic, burned at the stake. Suddenly Morgana's nightmare from those nights before made much more sense, and Rose felt sick to her stomach. All this time, Morgana had been terrified and scared for her life, and here Rose was, fretting about herself getting killed just for being close with Morgana.
Rose snapped back to reality when Morgana's doors slammed open. Guards rushed in, obviously looking for the source of the disturbance. One went to comfort Morgana and ask if she was alright, while the others immediately noticed the shattered glass vase. As their eyes scanned the room, Rose shrunk into the shadows of the adjoining room- was she supposed to be here this late? Would the guards suspect that she had done something to Morgana, that she had provoked Morgana's scream? By the time Rose fiercely reminded herself to worry about Morgana and not herself, the guards were rushing the King's ward out of the room. Get over yourself, Rose, and sort everything out!
The servant commanded her feet to move and she followed the guards and Morgana down the hall. She heard Morgana insisting, "It's fine, nothing's wrong!" Rose nearly flinched at the noticeable tremor in the woman's voice. She was terrified, and Rose wanted nothing more than to reassure the noble that everything was fine, she was fine, everything was fine, even if it wasn't true. What was Morgana going to tell the king? That the vase shattered on it's own, that she screamed for no reason? Uther surely knew about Morgana's nightmares, so the screaming wasn't that large of an issue, but the vase would be much harder to explain. Rose liked to think that she knew the woman well enough to know that Morgana wasn't about to say someone did intrude, because that meant that innocent people would get arrested and even executed because of a simple lie. No, the noble wouldn't do that, and Rose realized that she needed to come up with an excuse and quick.
When Rose entered the throne room, Uther had a large hand resting on Morgana's shoulder- as close and comforting as he would get with his ward, Rose supposed. "Tell me what happened," he urged. "Did someone break into your room? Who was it?"
Morgana shook her head, and Rose could see that her eyes were damp. "No," she scoffed tearfully, lifting a pale hand to wipe her eyes. "No, no one broke into my room, it was just- I had a nightmare, that's why I screamed, but-" Morgana was struggling to find an explanation, an excuse, as well. She couldn't just say, "The vase broke because I had a bad dream and shattered it with my out-of-control magic." That was definitely not an option, for obvious reasons.
Uther scowled. "Don't try to defend this person, Morgana, whoever they are," he growled sternly. "You must've seen something, vases don't just shatter by themselves!" He turned to glare at the guards as if to urge them to give him additional information.
Before she knew what she was doing, Rose stepped forward and cleared her throat awkwardly. All eyes in the room immediately snapped to her, and she shifted uncomfortably on her feet. Swallowing carefully, her eyes met Morgana's- the woman's face betrayed her confusion, but also her terror, and it was Rose realized that she had no choice. So maybe she got punished, maybe she got fired, but she'd do anything if it meant protecting Morgana. Isn't that how love worked? You'd defend them with your last breath? Smiling inwardly at the thought, Rose ahemed again. "Yeah, um, I'm very sorry for the confusion, my lord, but, I mean- that's what this all is, of course, a total misunderstanding," she explained in one breath, laughing nervously at the end.
"What is the meaning of this, child?" King Uther demanded, eyes sharp as a hawk's as he stared Rose down. Well, he's not intimidating whatsoever. Nope, not at all. Rose found that the little jokes to herself made her feel less horrifyingly embarrassed and small. If the shoe fits, right?
"Well," Rose began again, lifting a hand to tug her fingers through her hair. "See, here's the thing. I'm super... super..." She could hardly summon the strength to make herself say the word, it was so offensive to her. Do it for Morgana, she urged herself. "I'm super, well... Clumsy." The word felt like acid on her tongue, but she was proud of herself for having the courage to call herself such a horrible thing. "Very, very much so, as you probably well know from all of those mistakes with the wine, right? Poured it on the prince, poured it on Mor- the Lady Morgana, I'm just terribly, terribly... Well, you know." Insert another forced laugh as her hands began to sweat. "And, as milady said, she had a nightmare, a bad one, terrible one. I mean, I'm assuming, sorry, but I'm just assuming, since she woke up screaming and all that, I don't suspect you wake up screaming from a good dream, right? I'm sorry, getting off topic, but the point here is, I'm just terribly, well, you know, so when I heard her scream, it surprised me very, very much. Thought my heart was going to right burst. I was replacing the flowers in the vase when it happened, and, well, I overreacted. Swept the vase right off the table in my surprise, sent it crashing and shattering and everything. It was an honest mistake, my lord, I should've said right away. No bandit off to steal your beautiful ward here, am I right?"
It was so quiet that the only thing Rose could hear was her heart thump thump thumping in her chest. Please believe me, please believe me... Both Uther and Morgana gaped at her for a long while before the king's voice pierced the silence. "You broke the vase?" he repeated incredulously, looking over at Morgana who appeared to be just as stunned as he was. "If you broke the vase, then why were you not present in the room when the guards came in?" Damn it, Uther, you're supposed to have no common sense so this whole situation can be done with already.
"Errrr..." Rose clambered for an adequate response before she came up with an answer. "Well!" she shot out, "See, I left my broom in the other room. I didn't want to leave the glass just lying there, someone would get a shard of glass impaling their foot or something. Very dangerous. So, I went to go get the broom, and when I came back, the guards were ushering milady out of the room. I followed as quick as I could, I didn't want any misunderstandings, you know? I'm very, very sorry my lord, it will not happen again, I promise it."
King Uther stayed silent for a long while before he waved his hand dismissively. "Fine, I accept your story. But you've proved yourself to be extraordinarily clumsy and incapable of simple tasks, and one more mistake will result in your immediate termination. Do you understand me, girl?" His eyes burrowed into Rose, who avoided eye contact and bobbed her head obediently. "Good," he growled, turning around and striding over to Morgana. "You asked specifically for this servant, Morgana, but one more idiotic mishap and you will be getting a new, more competent servant. Now try to go to bed- I'll tell Gaius tomorrow to start making stronger sleeping potions, since the current one you're taking seems to not be helping. Good night."
The two women curtsied respectfully, and Rose was stunned when Morgana's fingers wrapped firmly around her wrist. The noble tugged her out of the throne room, down the hall, and pulled her into a small, dark nook. Realizing their close proximity and the fact that Morgana was staring intently at her, Rose felt herself growing rapidly anxious and uncomfortable. "U-Um, Morgana...?" she began awkwardly, scooting as far away from the woman as possible in the small space just to have Morgana take a step closer.
"Why did you do that?" Morgana demanded, and Rose glanced up into the woman's vivid emerald eyes for a heartbeat. Her eyebrows twitched downward in slight confusion, prompting Morgana to explain. "Why did you lie to him like that? That's the second time you've lied for me. You didn't drop that vase, I know you didn't, I-" Her eyes flashed with fear and Rose instinctively slipped her hands into Morgana's.
"It's alright, Morgana, I know," Rose murmured softly. "I know that you have, well, that you have magic. You don't have to hide it from me anymore."
The King's ward's face crumpled and she choked out, "So that's what it is, then? Magic? Do you really think so?" Rose frowned in sympathy as Morgana's eyes filled with tears, and despite her inability to comfort people, she found herself wanting to do exactly that.
"I definitely think that's the case," the servant murmured almost apologetically, her thumb stroking the back of Morgana's hand. Screw that whole keep-your-distance thing, Morgana needed someone, and Rose would be damned if she wasn't that someone. "My aunt- you know, the Druid one I told you about- right before she used her magic, her eyes turned gold. Right before you shattered the vase, I- well, I saw you, your eyes- I'm sorry, but, they definitely flashed gold."
Morgana's head nodded as if she wasn't surprised, and her eyes dropped down as she gave another tearful laugh. "It's ironic, isn't it? The King's ward has magic. He'd kill me if he knew, Rose, he'd slaughter me like I was just another magical person whom he despised!" Her voice grew in volume in her panic, and Rose had to quietly shush her to keep the woman from attracting any unwanted visitors. "It's- it's so out of control, I can't do anything. What if I end up hurting someone? What if, god forbid, I accidentally use it in front of him, in front of Arthur, in front of someone who'd have me hanged for my magic? I'm just so, so scared, Rose, and I- I just don't know what to do."
Rose pulled Morgana close and gently stroked the woman's dark hair, trying to summon words that she knew would comfort her if she were in this situation. "That's not going to happen, Morgana. I told you, I won't let anything happen to you, alright? I won't, I can't. I know you're scared, I would be too, but my aunt... My aunt always stressed to me that magic is a gift, not a curse. Just like how not all magic is evil, it's just how the person chooses to use it. My aunt was one of the kindest women I'd ever met, she was definitely not evil. And you're not evil either, of course, like I've said. I wish I could help you learn to control your magic, but I- I don't know anyone who has magic." Rose felt useless. She had nothing but a little comfort to offer the woman, and she felt utterly useless. "I'm sorry I'm not of much use. In this situation or any, really," Rose mumbled, pulling herself away from Morgana and offering the noble a small, sad smile.
"Don't say that," Morgana said immediately, her voice firm and her eyes hard as they burrowed into Rose's. "You're not useless, you've been so lovely. Gwen is fantastic, she always has been, but there's just something about you." She paused for a long while before realization passed over her face. "I asked you before why you keep lying to me, and I think back to that night that you drunkenly wandered to my chambers and professed your love for me. I don't think that that was just a random drunken speech that could've been delivered to anyone. And you know what I think?"
Rose realized with a jolt how close Morgana's face was to hers. So close that she could feel the noble's breath on her face, so close that Rose would've been able to make out every fleck of color in Morgana's eyes if it hadn't been for the poor lighting. Still, despite her better judgement, Rose found herself whispering, "What?"
Morgana's lips twitched upward in an amused smile. "I think that you're lying when you say that it was just a mistake." Rose felt her heart drop, and her face turn bright red. Oh, god, she knows! She knows, she knows, she knows- wait a second. Morgana didn't look disgusted. She didn't look like she was going to laugh in Rose's face. She looked almost... pleased. The woman's face was also moving closer and closer into Rose's personal space, and the maid felt like she was going to hyperventilate. "I'm not stupid, Rose. I notice how you look at me, I notice how red and flustered you get around me. Rose, listen to me- I am so glad that you decided to get drunk that night and come to me. I am so glad that you came into my life."
Rose's eyes were as wide as plates at Morgana's words, and she found herself thinking, Wait... Is she serious?! The answer to her question came moments later as Morgana moved closer still until her lips was hovering right over Rose's. The servant found herself thinking numbly, This really, seriously can't be happening... And then, just like that, Morgana's mouth was sliding against hers, and she was actually kissing the love of her life.
She felt like she had just been struck by lightning. Well, not in a bad way- more like in the way how she felt like electricity was running through her veins. Her heart thumped madly in her chest as she melted into the kiss, her hands coming up to gently rest on Morgana's sides. Rose felt the woman's hand rest against her cheek, pulling her ever closer. The kiss itself was soft and slow, even better than Rose had ever imagined, though her mind currently felt like it was going to explode. For a brief moment she wondered if Morgana felt the same connection that she did, but then the woman hummed in pleasure against her lips, and Rose had not a single doubt in her mind.
Eventually air was a necessity, and the two women reluctantly parted, quietly gasping for air. Morgana shot Rose a breathless smile and began to lean in for more when voices of some of the guards echoed from down the hall. Rose froze in horror, and she realized what they were doing. She realized exactly how dangerous the situation was for the both of them. If someone were to catch them like this...
With that thought in mind, Rose scrambled away from Morgana, gently pushing Morgana away to get some distance between them. When she looked up and saw the hurt and confusion on Morgana's face, she explained hastily, "Morgana, I would be lying if I said that I didn't want this more than anything in this world, but this is just- it's just, it's just, so so wrong, in so many ways. You're a noble, the King's ward, and I'm just- just a servant. This just, it can't happen, if we get caught we will both be punished severely. I don't want that to happen, and besides, this just... You're just so- I can't- it just... It isn't right, I'm so, so sorry."
Before Morgana could argue or say anything, Rose rushed away. Feeling her throat begin to close and her eyes begin to sting, she reminded herself over and over again that she did the right thing. The mature and responsible thing. I did the right thing, she told herself, but all she could think about was the feeling of Morgana's lips on hers, the feeling of Morgana's hands on her, and she wondered why the hell she just walked away from everything she had always dreamed of.