Alfheim was beautiful. A welcome change from the ice-cold and empty realm of Jötunheim. Everywhere they looked there were trees covered in bright leaves or colorful flowers. The grass covered the ground in a perfect shade of green; fluttering butterflies and birds seemed to float under the bright, overcast sky, chirping sweet songs. This was not Loki's first time in the realm, but somehow it seemed more wonderful than ever before. A smile of wonder broke through his recently grim face.
"It's so beautiful." Jennica breathed out, quoting her thoughts.
"Yes, it is." Mumbled Loki, glancing at Jennica, who was taken aback by his sudden change in countenance.
Leading their small group down the light dirt path that wound through the meadow, seeing the kingdom of the Light Elves in the rays of the peaking sun, Thor trudged ahead. The palace's jagged architecture, not all that different from Asgard, seemed to reach heaven with its height. The walls around the kingdom blocked out all that was unwelcome, but after Thor, Loki and Jennica had permission to pass, they at once noticed the bustling life on the interior. People flocked the streets, wearing varying white and pastel colored simple clothes. They looked human, but the grace and poise that each and every elf possessed proved that they were different. With flowers in their golden blonde braids or short brunette hair, children ran by, laughing with great joy. The older elves had a twinkle in their eye of that childhood fun, although they were much more composed. Jennica felt a burst of comfort and happiness in this place. It was very nearly how she imagined heaven. Everything seemed perfect.
"Hold on, where do we even start?" Jennica asked the princes, snapping out of her daze. Her fingers found their way up to her locket to fidget with it.
"Let's just begin with walking around and seeing who we can find." Thor replied, "A tradesman would be our best bet."
"Wouldn't they be after the shards?"
Thor grinned, "Not unless we tell them."
The three of them walked off, meandering through crowds of Elvish people. It took only a moment, but some of the pedestrians noticed Thor, growing excited at his presence. It surprised both Loki and Jennica.
"Thor, welcome back to Alfheim!" A young woman said with glee, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her left ear.
"It is a great pleasure to be back." Thor responded with a smile. It continued like that for a few minutes as they made their way down the streets. Elvish men saluted Thor as the group past, and the women waved. Once they arrived at the outdoor market, they saw a row of trade shops, similar to what they were searching for in the first place.
"Will we find our answers here?" Jennica asked. Her eyes were squinted from the bright sun.
"Let's hope." Thor replied, "We'll just talk to one of them and see what we can discover."
Loki, having kept his silence for a good long while, finally crossed his arms and said, "Leave this to me."
"Isn't that sentence bad luck for you?" Thor mocked, remembering the last time Loki said those words. Rolling his eyes, the mischievous prince marched ahead, although his mood was not ruined by Thor's comment. They spotted a sign, designating them to where a blacksmith was selling his goods. The tradesman inside the shop looked up as the three outsiders came in, furrowing his brows for a second, taken back by the fact that Thor of Asgard had walked into his shop.
"Can I help you with anything?" He asked, straightening his standing position. Stepping up to the blacksmith, who was behind a dirty, dented counter, Loki inquired,
"We are looking for someone with expertise in metalwork of jewelry to contain magic."
The blacksmith smiled, "You've come to the right place, my friend. The name's Sindri." This elf seemed rough around the edges compared to the elves they passed earlier, with a scruffy, light brown beard and tattered pastel colored garments covered in dust.
"Are they made here? We are searching for the origins of such a locket."
"Oh yes, of course!" Sindri replied quickly. Almost too quickly, "Some of them take a generous amount of time to make. If you can show me what you speak of, then perhaps I can help you." Before Loki could stop her, Jennica revealed the locket sitting in the palm of her hand. Immediately, Sindri's expression changed.
"This is the locket?" The elf chuckled loudly, "Ha, this little trinket is nothing more than a child's toy! Nothing of significance, really. If you would like, I can make you something of greater value that matches your description in return for this locket." It was easy for Loki to see through the elf's trickery. The mischievous look in Sindri's eyes sparkled with greed as his hands twitched and fidgeted together.
"Only a trinket? Well, we would like to be enlightened on where this trinket came from." Answered Loki, stubbornly. This amateur would not trick the god of lies.
"I do not know the entirety of what they're made for. I believe they are common, though. Sustaining small amounts of magic. Nothing more. Although it isn't worth much, it is easy to sell, so I'd be more than willing to accept it as payment for a more suitable necklace for the young lady."
"This is not for sale," Loki snarled, leaning closer to the greasy salesman after pushing Jennica's hand to her chest, "where did it come from? Who makes them?!"
Sindri began to lose his temper, "Fine! I know the blacksmith who used to make them, but he was a criminal, banished! Why is this locket so important to you?! It is worthless junk!" His voice rose to a yell in Loki's motionless and unimpressed face. Turning to Thor, Loki pleaded with his eyes to threaten the elf, but Thor shook his head. Jennica stood in confusion, both surprised that the blacksmith could act so poorly and Loki could act that composed in the presence of such a character. To rattle Sindri, Loki slammed his hand on the counter and hissed,
"We do not wish to be victim of your attempts to swindle junk from customers. If you don't have the answers I have asked, tell me one thing. Where is the blacksmith?" Shaking his head violently, Sindri abandoned the counter and ran into the back room holding up a hammer in defense.
"Sorry, we are closed!"
Thor chuckled, "What a coward." It only took a moment for Loki to meet Sindri in the back, disarm him, and grab his shoulders just a little bit too tight.
"Tell me, now! I am the god of mischief and lies, do not even think of tricking me. It will not work."
"He's in... he's in a village maybe a... maybe a day's hike. It's near the border outside of the... of the kingdom in the South. They're all criminals! It's dangerous!"
Loki sneered, able to hold back his violent urges a little easier than before. "To each his own." He whispered.
Turning on his heels, Loki grabbed Jennica by the forearm and lead her out with Thor following behind, still chuckling. They emerged from the shop to see the sunset forming beautiful streaks of color across the clouds in the sky. Wishing to see the sky on a sunny day, Jennica wistfully closed her eyes.
"We need to find a place to rest for the night," sighed Thor, looking at his two companions who were entranced by the new atmosphere once again, "before it's too dark."
Meandering through the town, feeling the cool breeze blow across their faces, they found a small inn not too far from where they once were. A kind old lady ran the place, and she welcomed them in to show them their rooms. Thor and Loki shared a room, while Jennica had one all to herself. The evening swept through, and it was pleasant as the golden sunset rose to cast its orange radiance on the kingdom. Despite its beauty shining through the window, Jennica struggled to enjoy it. She missed her home on Earth. She missed her parents. Everything she had ever known and loved seemed so distant now, although she had only been gone for the course of a few days. Nevertheless, the small room and the sight of this elvish world overwhelmed her to the point where she needed fresh air. Perhaps she was being immature. The last thing she wanted was for Thor and Loki to see her as a baby. The circumstance just wasn't processing quick enough in her mind. She retreated from her room, hoping to take in more of the outdoors under the night sky. Maybe then she could regulate her thoughts and emotions.
Loki sat next to Thor on their large shared bed. Not used to sharing a room, much less a bed, he felt cramped and restless. Thor had fallen asleep very quickly since he was much less aware of personal space. The small space seemed to suffocate him as he recalled all that had happened recently. His heart hurt. He needed air. Standing up to leave, he did so with little to no sound. He didn't want Thor to awaken and notice. Making his way out to the porch of the inn, the orange sky was fading away to a navy blue. Night was approaching. He sat down on a provided bench and took in a deep breath. The cool air was indeed refreshing, although it hardly met his expectations. All he could think about was Fárbauti. His true mother. She had told him that defining the monster was up to him. He never truly realized how hard that would be. He wanted to stop seeing himself as such. Even part of him knew and believed he needed to stop acting so monstrous. But no matter how hard he would try, the universe would reject him just like it always had. It would be no different from any aspect in his life. He tried hard to win Odin's favor when he was a child. Not even that worked. His dreams were never achieved. The thoughts and memories surfaced an anger he always struggled to keep buried inside. His clenched jaw trembled. His hands had balled into fists. If looks could kill, he had one plastered on his face.
"Loki... I didn't know you were out here." The voice of Jennica startled him, causing his figure to snap up from his seat in an instant. He stiffened and narrowed his eyes.
"Oh." He glowered in the darkness, "It's you." His words did not have the intent to cut, but Jennica was clearly unnerved by his reaction.
"I'm sorry. I'll be going back to my room." Her voice reeked of passive aggressiveness. Turning her back on Loki, she began to open the door before she was stopped.
"Wait... I did not mean to upset you." His anger had become such a habit. It was evident from the way Jennica had perceived him, but it raised her spirits a little to hear Loki nearly apologize. Closing the door, Jennica turned around to face him, feeling a slight annoyance take over as she replied,
"Why do you hate me so much? I never did anything to you, and yet you act as if I'm some sort of enemy." Although she couldn't see Loki's face very well in the dark, she searched for that smug expression he always wore. She couldn't find it, only a guilty frown and eyes full of shame.
"Have you ever done something you truly regret with all of your being?" His words came out perfectly clear, but Jennica was too shocked to answer. Loki's eyes reflected what little light was left in the sky as he looked at the growing shadows on the street. Breathing slowly and deeply, Loki tried to keep himself calm. "I understand you more than you know."
Jennica's brows furrowed and she seemed taken back,
"What do you know about me? The reason we're on this journey in the first place is to discover who I really am. Other than what I do know, it's completely pointless. You don't know a thing. Stop acting so smart." Loki ignored her outburst and sighed, holding the silence as long as he could before replying,
"I don't know who you are, but I am more than familiar with your situation. Imagine that you were told that you were a monster, a monster everyone, including yourself, had learned to despise." Almost immediately, Loki regretted speaking of his past to Jennica, but he was too vulnerable to stop himself. His memories flooded in like a river.
"Maybe if you didn't threaten or tease people during almost every conversation, I wouldn't agree with those people." Jennica didn't take note of the harshness of her words. She was still too disoriented in her thoughts.
"I do not disagree that my actions could justify the title, but it is engraved in my identity. No matter how I act, I will always be seen as a monster." He remembered Fárbauti's comforting words. He held them close in his heart, but he knew that they could not change how other people would see him in the horrifying light he once did.
Jennica grew confused, "Other than the fact that, yes, your actions could be much better, you're no different than Thor." The conversation had come up so suddenly and in such a strange manner, it was shocking.
"But I am different!" The words were filled with sorrow and anger but whispered as Loki's skin began to change to an ice blue. His arms reached out to Jennica to lock her eyes with his own, which had become a deep blood red. "Look at me and tell me that Thor and I aren't any different. It was a lie... everything I've known about myself for longer than you could imagine."
Jennica's mouth opened to reply, although nothing came out. She was startled by Loki's change in appearance, and by what he was telling her. "You're like Fárbauti..." She managed to croak out. Seeing the fear in Jennica's eyes, he turned back to his artificial Asgardian appearance.
"Do you see now? I am a monster! The Frost Giants are cruel and uncaring. They are true monsters. Do you understand now why I am a monster? It is in my blood." His hands released Jennica to let her back away from him. The anger from the past was overflowing. "The man who raised me, who I call father, took me from Jötunheim to negotiate peace, but why would anyone on that planet want me? A runt. I was raised on lies. Fed the belief that I was worth something! But now, look where I've ended up! Unloved by nearly everyone, left with the feelings of a false destiny. I've experienced more than anyone should ever have to..."
Loki was now sitting back down on the bench, feeling overwhelmed by his own emotions. Jennica wanted so badly to respond, but she didn't know how. She could only stand there and witness his outburst. Despite that, she could almost relate to him, and it was shocking. They both were from foreign worlds and kept from the truth of who they were inside. She wanted to comfort him. She regretted speaking to him harshly at the beginning of their conversation. Slowly approaching his now trembling figure, she reached her hand out, gently grasping his and sitting beside him. She felt him flinch at the contact. His skin was cold as ice, yet not quite as freezing as Fárbauti's had been. She was able to make a stable contact with him, and it felt... good. Opening her hand, forcing his to do the same, they were palm to palm as she whispered, "I don't see a monster in you. Not really." Loki's chest burst with pain. He wanted to believe her words.
"You don't know what I've done."
Jennica didn't feel particularly comfortable with his ending sentence, but when his grip on her hand tightened, she looked into his eyes, seeing the pain. Tears welled up in her own eyes, but she retreated back to her room without a word, leaving Loki with a strange emptiness that even he didn't expect to feel.