Natsuuro: Now for the much anticipated continuation of the skits (or, not so anticipated). Yay for skits? Anywayssss....

Reviews:

little-pocketmouse: I can't imagine I'm changing tooo much. ^ ^;; Thanks though!!

Dessa: I'll have those on the list soon enough! Ouch. Binding hurts. Athletic tape works well enough, though, if you ask me.

I do not own Tales of the Abyss! It belongs to Namco Bandai!

I now bring you Natalia's Cooking Adventures! Parts 1, 2, and 3 all rolled into one.

"Okay! It's done!"

The dish was, to say the least, unrecognizable. It was charred black and smelt of... something. Luke wasn't even sure what it was. The others had somehow choked it down, but even Jade and Tear showed signs of fainting or passing out before quickly leaving. Luke hadn't seen them since. The pot in which the meal had come from was... boiling with a greasy brown liquid which stank of rotten eggs or something like that. The dish smelled the same and looked worse. To the side of the odd meat was a black and charred pile of green beans (or so the replica assumed that was what it was).

"Ugh..." Luke looked at it with a disgusted face. "What is this!? It smells subtly raw, yet is charred on the surface..." his voice was low so only Guy could hear it. The blond picked at his own food with a fork, attempting to figure out if the thing was edible. Hearing Luke's comment, he cleared his throat in an embarrassed manner and gave Luke a disproving glare.
"Luke!" He hissed. "Don't make such a face! It's rude to Natalia!"

"Don't make such a weird face. Hurry up an eat." Natalia said quickly, disrupting their dispute.

"it's awful!" he hissed to Guy. "It's burnt, yet half raw. No taste either." he looked up to Natalia, a scowl on his face, barely hidden. "What is this?"

"Luke!" Guy hissed again.

"Some kind of fish I grilled." Natalia said, pretending to ignore Guy.

"What do you mean, 'some kind of'?" Luke asked, brow cocked.

"Don't ask me. I'm not very familiar with different kinds of fish. Well, unless they are filleted." Natalia looked down a little as Luke and Guy picked at their foods. Luke opened his mouth again, but Guy grunted at him to keep him quiet. They seemed to be having a silent debate with their eyes over what Luke was or was not going to say.

"It's alright." Natalia suddenly said. "I really am bad at cooking." she looked down at her hands, seeming a little embarrassed.

"Bad doesn't even begin to describe it-" Luke was cut off by a look from Guy. He switched over to something else. "So what's this garnish? It's red black and soggy..."

"It's a tomato," Natalia said, looking wearily at the odd lump on the side of the plate.

"Tomato? Why is it burnt black?"

"I grilled it a bit carelessly..." Natalia admitted, looking bashful. "In this situation, perhaps it would be better to dedicatedly study the subject."

"Uh-huh. Try being forced to eat awful food yourself for once. For all our sakes, train a bit, will ya?" Luke muttered, waving the plate in his hand a little. The food didn't seem to move from its spot on the plate, which worried the two swordsmen further.

"It's not like your cooking would be edible or something.." Guy muttered, looking from the plate to the redhead, Luke looked ready to punch him.

"No more! Learn from Tear or Anise, will you?" Luke said quickly, glaring at Guy.

"You really are rude, aren't you?" Natalia cut in, looking disgruntled.

"Oh, well then. If Luke goes that far saying it, naturally he'll volunteer as food-taster." Guy said quickly. Luke made a sound halfway between a grunt and a whimper and Guy got a weird satisfaction hearing it.

"Hohoho, that's right. I will have you eat every single spoon of it." Natalia said with a wicked smile. Luke glared at Guy with an intensity he usually reserved for their resident Necromancer and Guy was slightly unnerved by it, laughing nervously. "However we don't want to waste those ingredients, so please finish it."

Guy's face fell and the two looked at the plates and gulped a little, bracing themselves.

"Ugh... My stomach will be like the Qliphoph inside..." Luke muttered, looking down.

As the two began to finish possibly the last meal of their lives, Natalia sought out Tear. Tear was sitting on a rock, looking decidedly ill. Jade was talking to her, looking chipper and Anise was rubbing her back, patting her a little from time to time. As she neared, they spotted her and Anise and Jade split the scene, saying something about gathering more supplies. She approached Tear and smiled.

"Tear..." Tear jumped a little and looked at her, regaining her strong pose and smiling.

"Yes?"

"Uhm... Can you help me..?"

"Well, Natalia. It's a bit sudden, but..." she paused and thought it over, looking at the new pot, knife, cutting board and ingredients. She sighed. "First cut the burdock into small slices. After that's done, cut the carrot into thick slices." Tear quickly began, unabated by her growling stomach. She was happy to know, from the previous conversation with Jade and Anise, that Anise would be making a better meal later on for them. She wanted to get this over with fast so she could lay down.

Natalia began to chop, quickly setting to work on the cutting.

"Burdock and bamboo are different things you know." Natalia said suddenly, smiling at the Oracle Knight. "Carrots and ginkgo tress are also..."

Tear sighed heavily. What Natalia hoped to accomplish by telling her this, she didn't know. She looked at Natalia and smiled wanly.

"What's the matter?" Natalia looked at her with a hard stare. "... That look of pity..."

"Ah... It's nothing like that," Tear said quickly, waving at her. She looked at the pot. "Ah! Natalia! The pot's boiling over!" she exclaimed, pointing at it. Natalia looked around frantically.

"Oh my! Ah! The pot's getting burned!?" she looked at Tear, then it. "What to do... Eehm... Heal! Heal!" she pointed her hand at it, but the green died down, leaving the still boiling pot.

Tear sighed again and covered her eyes with a hand. "I don't think even Heal will work on a burnt pot..."

"Aah! The pot has caught fire!!" Natalia exclaimed, grabbing Tear's arm hurriedly. Luckily for the two girls, the resident fonist was within hearing distance and he was there to put out the fire with a fonic arte as soon as Natalia had squealed. Tear looked to Jade with thanks in her eyes, then sighed heavily.

"Perhaps cooking is impossible for Natalia..."

A/N

I tried my best. We'll just have to see! I like how it came out, actually! I hope I melded all the skits the best I could. All lines are from scripts from Japanese skits.

PLEASE R&R

Next up:

Unending Troubles