Ok chapter 10, here it is! This was the last chapter I wrote before my comp died, I was like noooo! it was the next day after I spent forever writing it and it was all gone lol Well anyways enjoy..

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Chp.10 - 'Stupid Girls'

We where back at Jacob's house, Jacob seemed kind of weird or distant? Maybe he was just thinking about something and that something I could have 3 guesses to what it was, what Auntie Rosalie had said back at the house, I felt anger bubble in my stomach and threw my veins as I thought on what she's said and did to Jacob.

My eyes drifted over to Jacob sitting on the edge of the small cruddy couch the one that reeked of werewolf, well everything reeked of werewolf, but it seemed to be extra consintrated on this putrid love seat sofa.

Jacob's eyes were diverted to the small television set, with it's slightly fuzzy picture, Jake was the only person I knew who still had the old square analog TV, his eyes though were not really watching the stupid game show that was on, but staring into nothing his mind a million miles away.

Was Jacob really thinking about what Auntie Rose had said? did he believe that I would one day leave him for some un-known Vampire? I couldn't imagine that ever happening Jacob was and always will be the only one for me, Jake wasmy Edward, my Emmett my Jasper or whatever the crap that Aunt Rose was going on about, could Jacob see that? know that? even if Auntie Rosalie was to disgusted and predigest to even try to see it my way or understand, Jacob knew, didn't he?

I knew that he had been hurt before, terribly, I didn't blame my Mother or rather I forced myself not to blame my Mom, I mean ok she did feel a small connection or pull towards Jake, my pull, but she didn't have to constantly lead him on all the time when she knew that it wouldn't go any further than than friends, that she would always love my father Edward more, and that her heart and her soul would always belong to him.

She didn't always have to tell him how much she needed Jacob, how much she loved him, how much she couldn't live without him, how much he meant to her all the time but then freak out if Jake dared try anything back, and that time that she'd asked him to kiss her, I know that Jacob wasn't totally blameless in that, but still.

Also, how'd she'd hurt my Dad as well over it all, the person who she said she couldn't live without and her everything the person she lived for, but she still ran off to Jake at any free opportunity and go around kissing him behind my dad's back, especially just after she'd promised to marry him.

I couldn't imagine kissing anyone else other than Jacob or behind his back, even if say I liked some other person the way my mom felt towards Jacob before I came along, but Jacob was my all, my everything, he is what my mom said my dad is too her. It shouldn't matter then even if you liked someone else, if my mom truly loved my dad the way she claimed to and as I said she'd even promised to marry him, you don't go around kissing other people and telling other people how much you love that other person and how you couldn't live without that other person, you just didn't.

I knew about all this, about what had happened between my mom and Jake before I was born, Jacob had told me he'd thought it was better that I knew everything than never knowing about any of it then finding out about it later from a less reliable source, like from my Grandpappy Charlie, and run away with the wrong idea about it all. Jake though said even though I was his imprinted soul mate he wouldn't take back what he'd felt for my mom, because it was always me, even before I was ever even a twinkle in my Mothers eye, his pull towards me was always that strong, from the moment he ever met my mother we were destined, so he never actually loved my mother, he loved me through her, sounds a bit crazy but there you go.

I heard the front door open, I jumped slightly I hadn't even heard anyone approuch the house I was too obsorbed in my thoughts about Jacob, and also hoping that Jake wouldn't listen to much on what my Aunt Rosalie had said, and that he should know that I would never do anything to hurt him.

Billy Black's deep gravely voice came from the hall and the higher voice of Jake's sister Rachel, Rachel half lived here with Billy and Jacob, and half lived at Paul's tiny place, Billy was now getting on in years and his diabetes that put him in the wheelchair he now had to be watched and monitored, and with Jacob out of the house pretty much all the time what with being the Alpha to a pack of werewolves and spending any spare time with me, Rachel had taken it upon herself to look after Billy.

Billy wheeled himself slowly into the living room he was struggling slightly with the effort he refused though most of the time to be helped and pushed out of pride or something stupid like that and he insisted that he was as strong and capable as he'd always been, much to Rachel's annoyment and worry.

Rachel came in after him, she had her lips pursed as she watched her elderly pride ridden weelchair bound father pant with the effort of pushing himself across the carpet and refusing point bank for any help.

"Hey Jake, Nessie is it true my dear that you are going to welcome us by staying here?" Billy asked out of breath after giving up his attempt at ever making it to the kitchen "would you like me to make you some dinner you stubborn old man?" Rachel asked poorly disguising her worry with humor, she was sick of always telling Billy to take it easy and stop straining himself the way he so unnecessarily did as it was bad for his health and that he shouldn't put himself into an early grave purely out of ego.

Billy grumbled a 'yes' as Rachel went off to make him some food, Billy returned his attention back to me as I answered his question "ah yes, but that's only if you want me here, I could go somewhere else if me staying here would be any trouble for you, I don't want to intrude or anything" I said all this very fast.

Billy laughed his deep gravely laugh waving it off with his large hand "I won't hear of you going anywhere else, it will be no trouble, no trouble at all my dear, an absolute delight, and I'm sure that Jacob will be over the moon to have you stay here and not to mention with you here Jake will be home lot more with Rachel and me than off seeing you" he finished thought full.

I felt a pang of guilt at this, I hadn't really given much thought at how Jacob's family, or at least his father Billy must must feel having Jake hardly ever home because he was spending all his time away from them with me and especially as Billy was no spring chicken and his health in the state it was these days I'd never before considered the fact that Billy probably didn't have all that much time left, it was odd for me to think that Billy, Charlie, Rachel and the other more human friends and people I knew wouldn't be around forever and with considering my immortality that they will be gone in a mere blink of an eye, a long distant memory.

Rachel was back handing Billy a plate of salad and some grilled fish, Billy grimaced in distast at what he'd been given, Billy wasn't aloud to eat any of his favorite foods aymore much to his dissapointment and tantrums, Billy forced a leaf of lettuce into his mouth and grumbled again he didn't even believe that salad could even be classed as a food, 'just a bunch of leaves and grass' he often complained.

Rachel shot Billy a sharp look before turning to Jacob "Jake, would you like me stay here longer and make you dinner or can you manage by yourself? it's just that Paul will be waiting with bated breath for my return" she laughed and shook her head in amusement.

Jacob stood up suddenly and stretched "naw I'm good and besides that will mean that Paul will come down looking for you and decide to stay for dinner as well, then we'll never get 'rid of him" he said turning the TV off, "I was just asking Jake" Rachel said with a slight bitter edge to her voice, she hated Jacob or anyone else having a go about Paul like I did about people having a go about Jake.

I stood up after Jacob as Billy grumbled "why did you turn the TV off? if you leaving give me the remote" Jacob grabbed up the remote and chucked it into Billy's lap, "Nessie wanna go out somewhere?" Jacob asked me, he looked pretty tired though and where would we go? I thought, it was pretty late nothing would be open "if you want, or we could just stay here cuz its late and you look kinda tired" I observed, Jake just shrugged and rolled his eyes "I'm fine Nessie, I slept all afternoon remember?" he said with a slight patronizing edge to it.

Billy had turned the TV back on and turned the volume up to try and drown out our voices, rude, I thought but followed Jacob outside instead of saying anything as it wasn't my house and my place too say anything, the night air was cold and icy and that pretty much was the perfect discription of the vibe I was getting from Jacob, what was his problem? and were the hell were we going this late at night?

Rachel followed out after me "hey Jake do you have any particular plan's for tonight?" she asked, Jacob shrugged "I dunno, why? what's it to you where I go?" he said in a harsh voice, Rachel looked taken aback for a second then she frowned and asked angrily back "you don't speak to me like that Jacob Black, I was just asking because I was wondering if you could give me a lift over to Paul's, but if it would be too much trouble for you I could just walk it" she said hinting something more, I was blank for a second until I saw Jacob's body slightly stiffen and his eyes rake over the tree line to the woods surrounding us.

I almost forgot about that Zambul vampire and how it would be incredibly dangerous for Rachel to walk to Paul's, even though he just lived about ten minutes away if that, what with Zambul hunting all the native girls of the area like Rachel.

Jacob swore under his breath and pushed Rachel rather rougher than nessisary into the backseat of his Volkeswagan Rabbit keeping his eyes on the trees and ignoring her angry complaint, he opened the passenger door for me and once I was in the car safely he ran around and into the drivers seat and got in the car, he was tensed and anxious as his eyes darted around the trees as he started up the engine.

Jacob drove Rachel down to Paul's quickly his eyes all the while still racking the woods, within minutes we pulled up outside Paul's tiny house well I wouldn't call it a house or even a unit more like a tiny one roomed shack, it was the only thing that Paul could afford .

Jacob got out of the car but pushed Rachel's door shut as she went to get out, "stay in there for second" he said angrily at her before turning his eyes back around the woods after a few minutes he seemed to think it was safe enough as he opened Rachel's door for her and pulled her out of the car by the arm, just as Rachel let out a sound of pain and anger the lights inside the shack suddenly flicked on which made Jacob jump.

The front door was flung open and Paul came bounding down over to us, Paul smacked Jacob out of the way without so much of a look at him, he only had eyes for Rachel who he pulled out of Jacob's grasp and into a bone cracking hug before kissing her a little too indecently for present company.

Jacob got back into the car with a sound of disgust and slamming his car door loudly and honking the horn in a irritated way, the sound though didn't seem to affect Paul's enthusiasm instead maybe even making it even more indecent, Jacob roared the engine of the Rabbit and spun it around angrily and drove back up the road to town.

I felt incredibly uncomfortable being in the car with Jacob which was a first, I looked at him out of the corner of my eye his eyes were narrowed at the dark road and his jaw seemed too hard, I wanted to ask him what was wrong but I was slightly scared of him right now I never really ever saw this side of him, he was normally kind and happy and enjoyable to be around, but not now, not when he was like this.

Jacob slowed the car down slightly as we drove up the main street were the small convenience store where Embry's mom worked, a small bait and fishing goods store which I was forced to spend an hour an a half of my time one weekend with Charlie and Billy Black and we passed a small tavern pub were I spotted Jared standing outside alone, something which I found really weird, why would he just be standing there alone in the middle of the night? I looked to Jacob to see what he thought of this, but he didn't seem to care, he spotted my confused look and answered by shaking his head slightly in a way which plainly told me not to ask.

We drove up past the shops and out to the back-roads of La Push, where in the world were we going? I looked back over to Jacob but he still looked to scary to ask him were we were going, suddenly I saw a glimmer of something like the shine of an eye in the trees to my right, "Jake, I saw something! back there in the tree's, like a glimmer of an eye, you don't think it was Zambul do you?" my voice trailing off at the look on Jacob's face "relax Nessie, it was just Seth, remember the packs patrolling right now?" he said in a sarcastic way like I'd said something that he thought was stupid.

I looked back out the window for Seth, but then relizing that he was way back behind us, I kept my eyes peeled now looking out for another member of the pack so I didn't have to look at Jacob who now had started to be making grinding sounds with his teeth, I just couldn't think what was wrong, surly Aunt Rose's words hadn't affected him this bad? he wasn't mad at mewas he? it wasn't fair if he was and I wasn't brave enough to ask him right now anyway.

After a while of driving I think I spotted another glint of an eye in the trees just as I felt a pang of excitement Jacob swore loudly which made me jump about a foot my eyes darted back to the trees looking for Zambul, possible attacking some girl, but my eyes spotted what must have made Jacob swear two girls where stumbling down the side of the road ahead of us.

Jacob slowed the car down muttering profanity's under his breath as we reached them, they were definitely girls from La Push "what the hell do they think their doing? didn't we tell everyone on the reservation not to go wandering around like this!" Jake spat out angrily smacking his hand loudly on the dashboard making me jump again.

One of the girls half tripped over as the car startled her she clung onto her friend for support, they both looked very young, fourteen, fifteen at most, Jacob stopped the car and got out hissing at me to stay in the car, I didn't object, "what the hell do you think your doing?" he said harshly and rather frightening I thought to the girls, the girls jumped at his harsh voice.

The girl who'd tripped let go of her friend who she was still clinging onto, she narrowed her eyes and said back to Jacob "what's it to you?" it was obvious that they were drunk, very drunk which seemed to make Jacob even more furious he swore loudly and hit his fist onto the top of the car, I could see roof dent inwards slightly.

The girls jumped again, the friend to the girl who stumbled looked scared "what's it to me? what's it to me you ask? maybe your these two twelve year old girls stumbling around drunk out of your minds on the side of the road a mile away from anywhere, I mean what the hell is wrong with you?" Jake spat loudly at them, damn Jacob I thought, control your temper, the friend looked like she was about to wet herself, I mean I didn't blame her, Jacob was this ridiculously huge guy bellowing at them, who knew what they thought he was going to do to them, heck I knew Jacob and loved him and all that and I was even afraid of him a little right now.

The girl who stumbled answered Jacob "we aren't twelve, where both fourteen" Jacob let out a sound of annoyance the girl continued more confidently "we were at this guy's place, he was friends with her cousin" she said indicating her friend who decided to speak up now at her friends confidents "yeah Corey, he's my cousin Matt's friend he was having like this party and then we all decided to go for a drive and.." but she broke off as the girl who stumbled started giggling and then she started to giggle as well and didn't continue.

I noticed that they both didn't seem to be wearing any shoes, I felt the car start to vibrate weirdly that didn't have anything to do with the stalling engine, I decided to roll down the window and speak to the girls before Jacob did anything rash, like turn into a giant Wolf or something and total this car.

I leaned out the window and asked the girls who were still giggling and clinging to each other "so you where at you cousin's friends party, were does this guy live? he doesn't live out here does he?" I asked confused looking around the trees almost expecting to suddenly spot a house, the girls looked at each other then burst out laughing again finaly the girl who stumbled answered "Corey doesn't live out here you idiot, he lives back on the reservation no one lives out here" she said and they both burst out laughing again.

I felt my own anger bubble up, stupid was I? Jacob cut over my angry retort "get in the car and I'll drive you home" he said calmer but I could still here the icy sting that cut through it, the girls looked at each other and they seemed to communicate without words and they both started giggling again, then the girl who stumbled said "sure ok" and giggling madly both stumbled into the backseat of the Rabbit.

Jacob got back into the car before making a loud and angry U-turn back around and up the road towards town, I heard the girls whispering to each other in the backseat in slightly louder voices than they would have normally whispered if they weren't drunk, the girl who stumbled finally spoke up "hey I know who you, you know?" she said to Jacob, her friend giggling next to her, "yeah did you know your Billy Black's son, and your name is Jacob?" she said giggling again along with her friend who giggled even louder.

Jacob looked at them in the re-view mirror "yeah funnily enough I did know that" Jacob said sarcastically and the girls laughed even louder being drunk I don't think they heard the ass-hole way that he said it, Jacob continued "and guess what? I know who you are as well, your Stacey Maveric's younger sister, whats your name?" he asked his eyes flicking back up at the re-view mirror.

The girls giggled a little bit more before the girl who stumbled finaly answered with laughter still thick in her voice "yeah Stacey's my sister, my names Fanella" "and I'm Bree" the friend cut in, then they both started giggling again, it was really starting to get on my nerves, "and who are you? your defintaly not from La Push" the Fanella girl asked me with attitude while her friend Bree giggled.

My eyes narrowed at her reflection in the re-view mirror "yeah you don't think? my name is Renesmee" I said in a harsh voice, this was the first time that I'd introduced myself as Renesmee, not Nessie, but seriously these girls were really getting on my nerves, stupid girls, stupid drunken girls, Jacob noticed my irritation and looked at me out of the corner of his eye, I turned my face away from his and out the window, I was starting to feel pissed off at him as well why didn't he just get over what was up-setting him already.

After a while Jacob turned the corner and drove down the main street slowing down "so were do yous live?" he asked the girls who were still giggling in the backseat, the girls exchanged another look between them seeming to communicate without words again before the friend Bree answered "well I 'spos you could take us to my house I live down the first street to the right" she said pointing to were the road turned right.

"Righto" Jacob said under his breath speeding up again, he turned right at the end of the road "this street?" Jacob asked at the first turn, "yeppers" Bree said and they both started laughing and being so fricken annoying, I could feel myself now start to grind my teeth.

We drove down the street slowly a short way when Bree leaned in forwards inbetween the two front seats and pointed to the white panneled house three houses up, "there! that's my house" she said slipping on her hand that was on the back of my seat tangling and pulling her fingers roughly through my hair! "ah sorry" she said being not sorry at all as I hissed at her through my teeth, she just giggled madly with her friend and pointed at me thinking I couldn't see her.

Jacob stopped the car outside her house and got out, the girls giggled when Jacob opened the door for them but I knew he wasn't being a gentlemen or anything I saw his eyes rake the dark space between the two houses across the road, the girls stumbled out of the car still giggling they somehow managed to get tangled up with each other and fell over down into the gutter, I rolled my eyes as they giggled even louder when Jacob lent his hand to help them up.

They stumbled and giggled all the way down the garden path up to the house, Jacob escorted them all the way to the door looking annoyed when they tripped and stumbled over the smallest stupidest things, like each others feet, his eyes I noticed were looking left and right, even though I seriously doubted that the Zambul guy would just jump our right now from behind a bush and drag the girls away.

Once the girls stumbled through the doorway and into the house to safety, Jacob walked back down the drive to the car and climbed back in muttering something darkly under his breath "annoying stupid drunk girls they would have deserved to get fed upon that's probably all they would be good for food there as stupid as sheep anyway" I ranted to Jacob highly annoyed as we drove back up the street.

Jacob didn't seem to be really listening to me, so I opted for just muttering threats under my breath, the whole car now reeked of cheap alcohol and some stupid child smelling berry shampoo, "I mean I know they said they were at some guy's party, but that still doesn't explain how they got out on that back road, and how old was this guy? I mean how did they get the alcohol? those girls were definitely too young its aagainst the law and its atrocious" I said to Jacob annoyed at his lack of conversation, Jacob noticed me pouting in an obviously irritated way, he smirked and rolled his eyes "yeah I know, how did they get out there? and I don't know anyone called Corey and I don't know anything about any party going on tonight either which is really weird" he said frowning.

I perked up a bit now he was finally talking to me half normally again "yes! and the alcohol as well! I mean seriously how old were they? and how did they get it?" I said again, Jacob didn't answer for a minute "yeah well the alcohol isn't all the surprising" he said "I mean down here on the reservation Nessie people start to drink younger, pretty much everyone drinks cuz it's so damn boring and there's nothing at all to do" before he said more defensively at the disapproving look that flashed across my features "I mean at least their not sniffing petrol or anything and besides Nessie your a bit of a hypocrite I mean you get drunk with us and your definitely under 21" he said smiling at me mockingly.

I just rolled my eyes back at him and stuck my tongue out he smiled back that smile I loved, damn those teeth of his, before he looked more serious and turned his eyes back to the road "but back to the girls, what were they doing out there? that makes me really worried if stupid people are just going to go wandering around like that especially after the council meeting with the Elders telling everyone that its incredibly dangerous right now for people to go wandering around alone, especially young girls, I mean if we hadn't found them what do you wanna bet that they'd have been dead by morning?"

Jacob's knuckles turned pale as his hands tightened on the steering weel, his broud lips tightning into a more sever line I felt the air in the small car start to shift "people are just so stupid and reckless!" he spat out suddenly making me jump for the millionth time "I mean what's the point of telling these people that their in danger? when they just go out and act like complete idiots their just making our job at protecting them just that much harder" he said anger thick in his voice.

I could feel him start to vibrate next to me, his shape was starting to blur faintly at the edges his hands were gripping the steering wheel so hard now that it looked in danger of either snapping in half or being ripped out of the dashboard.

"Jacob calm down their safe now ok? please calm down before we have an accident or something you don't really want to destroy your Rabbit do you?" I said trying to joke with him, I reached over and put my hand to his cheek showing him some comical image of his car being smashed around a tree I could feel the vibrations slowly start to die down, he seemed to relax more into his seat and his grip loosened on the the steering wheel "yeah calm down, I don't like you seeing me like this, it's not fair on you and I'm sorry Nessie" he said giving me a half-hearted attempt at his useral smile.

Before I relized where we were Jacob slowed down and parked infront of his house, the engine turned off "oh I didn't even relize we were coming back here" I said suprised Jacob gave me an odd look before saying in a quieter voice "I could take you home if that's what you want" he asked scrutinizing my face "I don't want you to feel that you have to stay here or anything if you'd rather me take you home, it's totally up to you Nessie" he said looking back out the front window.

I rolled my eyes but he didn't see me, he was biting his lip and avoiding my eyes "Jake, stop being so damn sensitive and lets get inside the house" I said opening my car door before he had a chance to and walking up the drive, Jacob had jumped out and was at my side in an instant his eyes raking the trees "Jacob, you know Nahuel said that this Zambul likes the Native girls and with my pale skin do you really think I can pass off as one? because those girls back in the car certainly noticed I wasn't from La Push" I said with a slight bitter edge to my voice.

Jacob didn't relax his discomfort next to me until we where in the house, "Jake, can I ask you something?" I asked a thought suddenly occurring to me, "sure you can, you can ask me anything Ness" he said distracted looking out the lounge-room window I sighed before continuing "I just thought, you know how I'm am paler than you" Jacob drew his head from under the curtains to look at me curiously "yes, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest if that's were your going" he said automatically.

I shook my head "no, I mean I know that it doesn't bother you, I mean just say you didn't imprint on me or umm how about before you imprinted on me before you met my Mom or anything. Do you or did you prefer like the girls of La Push than say the girls of Forks" I asked curiously, I'd never before thought about this hadn't I read somewhere that people tended to go for people of the same race as to keep that race going strong.

Jacob looked like he was thinking this through or trying to see if there was a double meaning in what I was asking when he answered he said slowly "Nessie I don't want you to worry, I'm attracted to you I think that you are a thousand no a billion times if not more beautiful than any girl in La Push or Forks or anywhere else in the world" he said I shook my head "I wasn't asking you that Jacob, I was asking did you before you met my Mom or me did you prefer La Push girls to Forks girls" I said more forcefully.

Jacob just shrugged "I dunno, the girls of La Push I guess cuz I didn't really know all that many girls from Forks or anything, but really it didn't matter that much but.." he hesitated before saying "but yeah girls from La Push I found more attractive I guess, but that doesn't mean I didn't find any Forks girls attractive either.. what about you then Nessie" he suddenly shot at me "do you prefer us La Push guy's or the guy's of Forks, not me included just say if we never were together or anything" he asked curiously.

I thought it through for about half a second "La Push guy's" I said strait away, Jacob laughed and shook his head at me "I think I'm swaying you answer Nessie, you can be honest" he said smirking, I tried to see it from another perspective as if I never knew Jacob but I came to the same conclusion "no I still say the guy's from La Push, I mean I find you amazingly attractive Jake as you know" I said as he rolled his eyes but I continued "but if I never knew you and I just lived in Forks or whatever, I swear I'd probably come down to the first beach on La Push just to check out the guy's cuz incase you haven't noticed Jake, La Push guy's are hot" I said pretending to fan myself.

Jacob laughed "Nessie I think for your sake you'd rather me not have noticed that cuz then we'd have had a completely different relationship" he said mockingly I just shrugged "depending Jake, I mean people can like guys and girls at the same time, maybe if you were that waywe could bring in some of the other guys cuz Jacob if you ever have the urge to kiss any of the guys from your pack please don't let me get in the way kiss a head preferably in-front of me or someplace where I could join in" I said jokingly wiggling my eyebrows at him.

Jacob just grimaced at me "sick Nessie, sick" I laughed and gave a great pretend sigh "oh if only Jake a girl can dream" I said slipping onto the sofa and pretending to fantasize, Jacob then asked in a less jocking way "which other guy's do you find attractive Nessie?" he asked sitting down in the sofa next to me, I looked at him waiting for him to get all touchy but he didn't seem to be that upset by his question though.

I hesitated for a second I didn't think it would be right to tell him I mean really Jacob was the most attractive guy by far that I knew and I loved him and all that but I was still a teenage girl and really you can't help but look and notice other guys Jacob noticed my hesitation "come on Nessie, I want to know" I raised my eyebrows at him skeptically "ah ha sure Jake, ok you tell me then some other girls who youfind attractive then if you do I might tell you what other guy's I think are attractive" I said wondering now Jacob said he didn't ever look at any other girls but I didn't believe it cuz how could you not? I loved Jake more than anything but you just can't help noticing when other people are hot.

Jacob looked at me shocked "Nessie, you know I don't see any other girls like that but you" he said like he thought I was mad, I rolled my eyes "come on Jake you can't honestly never everlook or even notice another girl is pretty I'm not going to hold it against you or anything" I said skeptically, he just shook his head before I even finished speaking "Nessie, seriously I don't, I will always tell you the truth and this is the truth I never look at any other girls ever, period, it's like I've told you before I don't see their faces" he said.

I smiled in-spite of myself "ok you don't see their faces but you never said you don't see their bodies" I said smirking at him Jacob just rolled his eyes "Nessie.." he began but I cut him off "ok ok Jake I believe you, but even though I can see other guy's and think their attractive it doesn't mean anything you know, I find you the most attractive anyway so anyone else would be an extreme downgrade" I said smiling at him mockingly.

I saw a small frown creased between his eyes "I'm just curious though Nessie, who else do you find attractive?" he asked again, I hesitated again as well Jake noticed this "ok how about I tell you some of the names and you just tell me if you find them attractive from say..1-10 ok?" he asked raising his eyebrows and biting his lip he looked so damn hot I had to agree "ok ok, shoot" I said giving in.

Jacob smirked at me mockingly before asking "ok Embry from 1 to 10" I thought it over "umm about a 8" I said honestly, Embry was pretty hot, Jake didn't look upset and continued strait away "Jared then 1 to 10" he asked "a 3" I said laughing, Jared was certainly the ugliest guy down at La Push Jacob laughed at this "a 3? are you serious?" he said shocked, I nodded "yep, Jared isn't my type at all" I said laughing again, Jacob continued "Paul?" "about a 7, but that's purely physical" I said and Jacob grimaced as he continued "Quil?" "about a 5" Jacob smirked at this as he continued with "what about Sam?"

I thought it over, didI find Sam attractive? "umm I don't know? I don't really see Sam like that at all but I guess a ummm a 5 as well, I don't know?" Jacob just said "huh" before saying in a different more constrained voice "what about Seth? we all know how much you love him from 1 to 10" I saw him look into my face, I knew this was the question he really wanted to know I think he thought I had some sort of feelings for Seth ridiculous but he was worried that I did, should I be honest? "what do you mean we all know how much I love Seth?" I said back but Jake just shook his head indicating that I should answer I continued slowly "Seth is about a umm..a.. lets see ah..." I saw Jacob bite his lip in anticipation "ok Seth's a good 9" I confessed deciding on being honest as Jacob would rather me tell the truth than lie on this one.

Jacob looked away and forced himself to smirk "a good 9 ay? that's pretty high Nessie" he said looking back at me again "but seriously Jake, he's nothing on you" I said snuggling closer to him on the sofa he rolled his eyes at me again "Nessie if Seth's a good 9 and even if you think I'm a good 10 there isn't really that much difference" he said jokingly but I could hear slight anger in his voice.

I was surprised, why was he so angry tonight? "Jacob I thought we where saying for normal people attractiveness from 1-10 like com paired to your attractiveness that would make Seth a 9 and you a 110 so really that's a very low score, that's pretty much saying he's as attractive as a one eyed hunched back or something" I said jokingly running my fingers up and down his arm.

Jacob laughed at this "ha so if Seth's a one eyed hunch back than what the hell would that make Jared?" he said laughing I laughed back, "I have know idea? that would mean Jared would be like a hideously deformed grotesque gargoyle with like pig trotters for hands and feet or who knows what compared to you" I said laughing along with Jake.

This seemed to cheer Jacob up considerably he kissed me suddenly it took me by suprise for half a second before I was kissing him back, Jacob pushed me down onto the sofa underneath him I was lost in his passion as I kissed him back with enthusiasm I felt his hands roam up and down my body his mouth kissing me hungrily before he pulled my leg up suddenly and pushing himself harder into me, I wasn't ready for this, not again not so soon.

I tried to push Jacob off me but he was pretty strong he realised after a second what I was trying to do and pulled away from me slightly "what is it Nessie?" he was breathing heavily I hesitated what was I going to tell him? how could I tell him that I lied last time when I told him that I thought he was amazing when I really thought it was bad and rather painful.

"Nessie we don't have to do this if you don't want to" he said pulling himself further off me, I pushed him away as I sat up feeling embarrassed, I felt like an idoit hadn't I been telling him for ages that I wanted to sleep with him? pressuring him into it and telling him I was ready and how much we'd do it after I was of age, but now I didn't know if I was ready, was my Dad right? was I ready for this kind of relationship?

Jacob was watching me concerned, what was I going to tell him? I knew that he wouldn't hold it aagainst me, I knew he wouldn't pressure me into anything I wasn't comfortable with or ready for but how what was I going to tell him he sucked and I never wanted to do it again? "Nessie.." he began but I cut him off "Jake.." I began but changed what I was about to say "I don't really want to do it out here on the sofa just say someone caught us?" I said trying to think of a way to postpone what was inevitable, Jacob would want to have sex again and much sooner than I was ready for.

Jacob's look of concern vanished and he smirked instead "Nessie, who's going to catch us? Billy's in bed and there's no way he's going to get up anytime soon and it's the middle of the night no ones going to walk in" he said making perfect sense "yeah...but still" I said slowly "well let's just go back to my room then" he said standing up and offering me his hand, I looked at it for second, damn it, I thought as he pulled me to my feet and led me down the hallway to his room.

When he flicked the light on I spotted a suitcase sitting on his bed "Alice!" I said amused, Jacob grumbled something and wrinkled his nose "what?" I asked surprised by his reaction his look of grimace turned into an un-convincing smile "nothing, nothing" he said waving it off and pushing the suitcase of the bed before flinging me down onto the bed pushing himself back down on top of me and resuming what was interrupted back in the living-room.

How was I going to tell him to stop when he seemed so damn exited and enthusiastic, I responded to him only half-heartedly he didn't seem to mind at first until he finally realized that something was up he pulled away panting slightly "Nessie are you ok?" he asked out of breath, "nothing, I'm just tired that's all" I lied looking away thinking that he'd be able to see my lie in my face, I never lied to him I felt horrible lying to him now, we never kept any secrets from each other.

Jacob scrutinized my face, I was a terrible liar he obviously saw right through it "Nessie if something's wrong you can tell me, I would wantyou to tell me" he said slowly I looked away from his peircing gaze before answering "Jake, it's nothing really..it's just..well" I hesitated Jacob put his hand under chin and pulled my face around to look into his "Nessie please tell me you don't have to lie to me if your embarrassed or you think it would hurt my feelings, just tell me" he said running his hand down my collar bone.

I hesitated for a second longer before saying slowly "Jake, it's well..remember when we..you know" I said full of implications "yeah go on" Jacob said looking more serious "well remember afterwards, when I said that you were amazing.." I stopped again, how could I tell him that he was terrible? I just couldn't "Nessie, I know that you were just saying that, if that's what's upsetting you" Jacob said raising his eyebrow at me.

I looked at him surprised, he knew that he was terrible? "Jacob, I mean it was our first time, it was bound to be terrible and.." but he cut me off "what do you mean by terrible? you thought it was terrible?" he sounded angry, "oh...well not terribleI mean you could have been worse.." but I stopped speaking by the look on his face I'd just definitely made it worse, a look of hurt crossed his face "what do you mean I could have been worse? how bad was I?" he said pulling away from me.

I didn't answer immediately I just bit my lip, he seemed to have guessed enough by my silence "Nessie I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked slowly after a minute, I hesitated once again before answering "kind of.." I said looking down at my hands to avoid his eyes I felt him pull my face up to look into his face again "Nessie why didn't you tell me?" he asked angrily I tried to look away but it was impossible as his hand was firmly in place "I dunno..we were already doing it and it was over pretty quickly anyway so it doesn't even matter" I said pulling away from him.

Jacob was silent for a minute before I looked up at him he was still frowning at me "Jake.." I began but he cut me off "Nessie I want you to tell me next time if I hurt you, I will stop strait away I don't want you to feel like you just have to just grit your teeth and bare it or anything" he said bitterly "Jacob who said there's going to be a next time" I said icily back I was sick of his attitude what the hell was with him today?

Jacob looked tacken aback by this but his features hardened before he said "well if that's how you feel I'm sorry that I was such an un-satisfactory lover, I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for you Nessie" he said acidly getting off the bed and leaving the room, I was shocked I heard the pain in his voice under the defenciveness and anger.

I jumped up and followed Jacob down the hall he pulled the front door open and was half-way out when I managed to pull him back "where are you going?" I demanded he pulled his arm out of my grip "out" he said angrily, "out where?" I snapped back just as angrily, he glared at me for a second "out to see the pack remember I had to patrol with them tonight? and remember how you forced me to stay with you instead?" he said hurtfully, forced him to stay with me did I? "well Jacob I'm sorry ok? I'm sorry about what ever I've expose to have done to turn you into a total bastard today" I said trying to sound as angry but I felt a lump in my throat, we'd never ever fought like this before.

Jacob's face softened slightly but not much "Nessie I've gotta go see the pack" he said turning away from me "Jacob please don't go" I said in a smaller voice, he stopped but didn't turn around "why?" he asked in a strange detached voice I was taken aback "why do you think?" I said trying to pull him around to look at me, he turned around and looked at me with a hard look in his eyes.

There was silence I didn't know what to say Jacob broke the silence "Nessie why are you even here?" I was suprised and hurt by his quiestion "what do you mean?" I asked feeling kind of scared Jacob just sighed heavily and looked away for a second before turning back to me and saying "I mean, why do you want to stay here with me?" I still didn't really understand what he was saying, did he think I didn't want to be here?

"Jacob why do you thinkI'm here?" I asked slowly Jake seemed to chew the inside of his mouth for a second before saying "I don't know? I would like to believe your here because you love me and you want to be with me, but you look un-comfortable here you look like you don't want to be here you keep telling me that you wanted to sleep with me more than anything else and when we finally do make love you say it was terrible and I sucked and you never want to do it again, you act like I'm not good enough for you, Nessie sometimes I get the feeling from you that your just being with me until someone better comes along" he said looking at me with that same hard look on his face but I could see the pain in his eyes.

I was shocked and speachless, how could he think that? when had I ever made out that I was just baring to be with him untill someone better comes along? what was all this crap? but he had noticed how I felt un-comfortable being here and miss-understood, "Jacob.." I began but stopped I didn't know how to continue he just shook his head and turned to leave.

"Jake please don't go, your wrong I am here because I love you and I want to be here" I said desperately "sure, sure" he said sarcastically and started to walk away I followed him out the front and grabbed onto the back of his shirt "Jake I will never leave you, you are good enough for me, your more than good enough for me I love you Jacob I love you more than anything else in this world please don't leave me, you can't leave me I need you Jake, my life would be nothing without you!" I said half sobbing.

Jacob turned around and pulled his shirt out of my grip "Nessie.." he began but I cut him off by kissing him, I gripped the back of his hair and pulled his face down to mine, he didn't kiss me back I tried to force a response out of him but nothing I pulled away and looked at him he still had that hard look on his face "Nessie you don't have to try and prove anything to me, after all I know now how terrible I am" he said bitterly trying to pull away from me but I held on tight.

I punched him in the chest "Jacob listen to me I didn't mean it when I said I didn't want to do it again! I just said that because I was feeling irritated by your attitude, I dowant to do it again! ok so our first time wasn't the best but so what? I mean I sucked as well! at least you tried all I did was lay there" I said breaking off "Jacob let's just do it again" I said desperately Jacob shook his head "I don't want to just do it,Renesmee" he said pulling away but I held on "Jake you know I didn't mean it like that" I said he turned around and said his anger flaring up again "no Nessie, you did, do you honestly want to have sex with me because you honestly want to or just because you want to lie to me again the second time and tell me I was amazing" he said bitterly.

I let go of him "ok Jacob, you know what? your right! I don't want to sleep with you right now when your acting like a total bastard like this and I do love you Jacob, I do want to be here with you, if I didn't I wouldn't have left home would I? why would I hurt my entire family and leave my parents and my home to be here with you if I really didn't want to? wouldn't I have just stayed at home and waited for someone betterto come along while I have you on the side? maybe I could just go an run off with Nahuel" I said bitterly as he flinched at Nahuel's name "I can't even believe that you would even think that Jacob!" I spat at him angrily.

Jacob didn't say anything so I continued "but if you don't want me here Jacob I can leave maybe I'll go stay at Seth's place because we all know how much I love Seth, would you prefer that Jacob? is that what you want me to tell you? that I'm secretly in love with Seth?"I said feeling the lump in my throat hurt painfully Jacob's eyes flashed angrily "no why would I want you to leave me Nessie? how could I not want you here with me? and why the hell would I want you to run off to Seth?" his voice suddenly revealing some of the pain he'd been trying to control.

I wiped the tears from my eyes "stop being an ass then, Jacob will you just believe me when I tell you that I love you, not Seth not Nahuel" I said his name with distaste "and not some random Vampire in the future, because there isn't anyone else but you, so please will you stay Jacob and make love to me? make me forget last time" I begged him feeling kind of pathetic.

Jacob sighed and looked into my eyes for a second "I'm sorry that I've been a jerk" he said smiling at me half heartedly this gave me the queue to kiss him again this time he responded but not as passionately as I would have liked after a moment he pulled away "Nessie, honey it's late we don't have to do anything tonight we'll try again tomorrow ok? lets go back inside" he said.

We just kissed that night instead, explored each other mouthes and body's in new way's, nice ways, and there was no pressure to go any further after a while I ended up falling asleep feeling exited about the next time we were to make love and not dreading it.

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Ok well there's chapter 10, hope u liked it. anyways yeah I'll get some more chapters up soon, just gotta get them off this other computer.