Chapter Ten - For A First Effort This Feels Kinda Last Ditch

Yukino wandered down the street, trying to find her way to her destination. She'd heard about a new grocery store that had recently opened and she finally had the time to check it out. Though not all that much time. A smile curved her lips as she thought of the woman who was awaiting her.

Haruka had needed to work late on a case but had insisted she go ahead. But Yukino knew from experience that Haruka would take no more than an hour. And that left her little time to find the store she was looking for.

Accepting that continuing without being sure of her destination would get her nowhere, Yukino stopped and stood to the side as people rushed by. Despite her limited time, she couldn't help but watch the people as they rushed by. Her eyes roved over a weary mother of two, an elderly man with a smile for everyone who passed, a street vendor readying to close up.

All her life, she watched people. She'd been shy, incredibly so and she'd spent her life having people try to force her out of her shell. But it had never really worked, perhaps because she liked standing on the sidelines, observing rather than taking part. Nothing had ever managed to catch her interest.

Nothing until Haruka. She was a whirlwind of excitement and endless energy and Yukino had been drawn in from the start. The girl had terrified her and enthralled her at every turn. It hadn't been a much of a surprise to her when she accepted that she'd fallen for the boisterous blond.

What had surprised her, was that her feelings were returned. It hadn't been special by cinematic means, but it had been so thoroughly them. It was the day Haruka had graduated with her law degree, they'd all gone out to celebrate. And of course, Yukino had watched everyone, finding joy through their own.

Her eyes wandered, lingering as they passed each of her friends. There was Mai leaning towards Tate, a teasing gleam in her eyes, Shiho and Nao sat to their left, bickering as per their usual. Across from them were Aoi and Chie, mixing fun with flirtation. And of course, there were two of the three guests of honor sitting closely, eyes on none other than each other.

Yukino couldn't help the warm smile that pulled at her lips as she watched them. Ever since Natsuki had given into her feelings, she and Shizuru had been inseparable. It was rare to see one without the other. And there was just something about them that made people enjoy being nearby. It was as though their feelings were so strong that they affected those around them. Or perhaps it was merely that she was happy to see her friends happy, Yukino wasn't quite sure.

She returned to her surveying, this time looking for one person in particular. The third and final guest of honor. The one she was there for. Haruka. Her smile began to fade as her search came up with no results. She wasn't sure how Haruka had managed to slip off, the woman wasn't very skilled at subtlety.

"Looking for someone?"

The warm voice startled her and she whipped her neck to the side in an effort to see the speaker. She relaxed almost immediately as her mind processed the familiar timber. "You surprised me."

Haruka chuckled, the sound low and pleasant. "I had intended to." She leaned forward, bringing her face level with Yukino's. "Would you mind joining me outside?"

Yukino's brows furrowed as she gave Haruka a confused glance. Her only response was a sly smile. With a slight shake of her head, she followed, as she was sure Haruka expected she would. It was merely the way things were, Haruka would lead and she would follow. It was a pattern that suited them well.

The patio was beautiful, surrounded by fragrant flowering plants. She couldn't help but stare at them, her delight obvious in her features. She was so engrossed she didn't notice their roles being reversed, that she was the one being watched.

"Yukino."

Haruka's voice shocked her out of her reverie and her eyes found her own instantly, just as they always had. "Yes?"

"I brought you out her for a reason." Though the statement was meant to lead into another, Haruka remained silent. They remained that way, merely staring at each other, until Haruka finally scowled. "This isn't supposed to be this difficult."

Yukino's brows rose. "What isn't?"

Haruka rubbed her forehead roughly and growled. "I need to ask you some things and I need you to promise you'll answer me with complex honesty."

Force of habit nearly enticed Yukino to offer a correction to Haruka's misstep of speech but she barely managed to refrain choosing to nod her assent instead.

"Okay. Good." Haruka lowered her hands to her sides, her fists clenching and unclenching. She breathed in deeply before releasing a torrent of words. "You already know I'm joining a local firm with Shizuru. And as such I'll be needing an assistant, someone to keep my records and help me manage my appointments and the like."

It was everything Yukino could do to keep the amused grin off of her face. She knew Haruka well enough to know that she would be hard pressed to find an assistant who would be able to handle her. She was a whirlwind of constant action, never slowing and rarely tiring. And it was that assessment that led her to understand what was coming.

Though she knew what Haruka was attempting to ask, she didn't try to relieve her panic. She knew how Haruka worked and knew that if the women didn't get the chance to say her piece it would trouble her until she got another chance.

"No one knows me the way you do. I don't think anyone could come close. And to be honest, I don't need anyone too, because I already have you. And to be honest, I'm scared. I've graduated, I have a degree, I have everything I need to start the rest of my life." Haruka's voice lapsed again and she bit her lip. But in true form she managed to gather her thoughts together with lightning quick efficiency. "And I know I'd be fine if you were to go elsewhere and do other things, things without me. But to be honest, I don't want that. I want you to come with me, to stay by my side."

Yukino smiled warmly at the look of hesitancy written all over the other woman's face. It was adorable how flustered she was getting, though Yukino didn't see the reason. She'd always thought it was a given that she would follow Haruka into whatever field she chose and aid her in whatever way she could. So when Haruka had chosen to be a lawyer, Yukino had assumed that the blond knew she'd accept any opportunity she could to help her.

There was silence as Haruka gathered herself a final time. She seemed to look everywhere but at the brunette before her before finally forcing her eyes to her long-time friend. "Would you be willing to enter a partnership with me?"

Yukino blinked. She wasn't exactly sure what a partnership was. Being a receptionist was definitely not a partnership. Yukino frowned thoughtfully, trying to determine any other possible meaning behind the other woman's words. The most likely possibility was that Haruka had misspoken once again, but she couldn't think of anything that might be more likely.

Suddenly her eyes widened. There was one things but it was highly unlikely. She bit her lip and met worried amethyst eyes. "Haruka, do you mean relationship?"

Haruka frowned deeply, thinking it over. As she did, a red flush rapidly darkened her cheeks. "Uh, yeah. Sorry."

Yukino merely stared at her, shock evident in her features. "Are you sure? A relationship? As in dating? Being together? As in you'd be my girlfriend?"

Haruka's cheeks darkened. "Yes Yukino. That's exactly what I'm asking."

"Oh. Oh my." Yukino reached out for a nearby ledge and used it to brace herself. "Just give me a moment. I was expecting…oh my."

Her words peaked Haruka's interest. "You were expecting something else? Like what?"

Knowing the other woman wouldn't be dissuaded until she had an answer, Yukino obliged. "I thought you were going to ask me to work for you, as your secretary."

Once Haruka had processed the idea her eyes lit up. "That would be wonderful. I hadn't thought of it. All of the people I've interviewed have been unsatisfactory. If you'd be willing, I'd love to hire you instead."

Yukino nodded weakly, still trying to take everything in. Finally, the reality of the situation crashed down on her and her answer became clear. "Yes. I will. Of course I will."

Haruka took in her beatific smile with a confused stare. "That's great news. Though I don't understand why you're so excited. Being my secretary is probably going to be a really hard job."

"That's not what I'm saying Haruka." Yukino nearly laughed as Haruka's gaze became downcast. "I'm still willing to be your secretary Haruka, but I was saying yes to something else." Yukino waited for Haruka to understand her meaning before she rushed forward, throwing her arms around her childhood friend.

Haruka's arms wrapped around her is a vise-like grip. "Are you sure Yukino? I know I can be a pain."

Yukino pulled back, just enough to see Haruka's worried gaze. "Of course I'm sure. I've been sure since the day I met you. You're the one I want Haruka."

Haruka's eyes lit up with a warmth Yukino had been oblivious too previously. In that look she saw everything she needed to know. But Haruka was never one to leave anything unsaid. "I love you Yukino."

"I love you too, Haruka."

A small beeping noise broke her from her memories and she made quick work of pulling out her phone. She grinned as she saw who the message was from. Haruka tended to have the most interesting timing.

Shizuru needs to talk. Will be late.

Yukino stared at the words, surprised by them. She supposed it was a good thing, though she couldn't understand what had finally pushed Shizuru to open up to anyone. She frowned, worried that something serious had occurred.

I hope she's alright. Let me know when you're on your way home.

As Yukino slid her phone into her purse she looked around once more. It seemed she would have more than enough time to find the store she'd been searching for. She pushed aside her concern for the moment and wandered further down the street, eyes vigilant.

It wasn't too long before she found the store she was looking for. She pushed her way into the store gently, warmed by the tinkling of the welcoming bell. The interior was even more impressive, everything situated in a way that made the store feel friendly and open.

She smiled at the young woman manning the cash register and wandered forward, deciding to search for some ingredients for dinner. She wandered up and down the aisles, scanning the items with partial concentration. Her mind kept wandering the earlier events of the week.

How likely was it that something bad had happened between Shizuru and Natsuki?

Concern came flooding back as though her thoughts had broken some dam. Her feet stopped and she placed her hand on her purse, wondering if she should do something, anything. But there wasn't really anything she could do. It was best that she wait.

With a weighty sigh she began wandering forward once more, only to walk right into someone. Their body was firm and she had been too lost in her thoughts to catch herself as she fell. She squeezed her eyes shut and nearly cried out before she felt arms wrap around her, holding her above the ground.

Shock blinded her for a moment and she grabbed onto the person supporting her. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going and I'm so very sorry."

Warm laughter floated around her and she finally registered the friendly emerald gaze above her. "You really haven't changed Yukino."

Yukino had forgotten how infectious Natsuki's laugh was and found herself laughing along with familiar ease. "Yes well, you have changed much yourself. Still rescuing damsels in distress at every turn."

Natsuki grinned, eyes filled with warmth and amusement. "I must admit, I only save the pretty ones."

Yukino flushed even as she laughed once more. "Now you're just proving my point. You're an insufferable flirt when you put your mind too it."

Natsuki stepped back, leading Yukino to settle safely on her feet. "Blame Shizuru. I only learnt to keep up with her. She was always incorrigible."

Concern and curiosity came barrelling back at the mention of the brunette's name. "Would you mind if I asked what happened that day?"

Sadness and something resembling anger flashed through emerald eyes, doing nothing to quell Yukino's worry. "There isn't much to say. I didn't really get the chance to say anything to her. I was too busy bolting." She grinned as she caught the disapproval of her friend. "Don't worry Yukino, it wasn't because I gave up. I just walked into a very…odd situation."

Yukino's brows rose in question, her interest piqued even further. "What exactly do you mean by odd?"

"By odd I mean I walked in on Shizuru and her assistant kissing."

"Oh. Oh my."

"Tell me about it." Natsuki rubbed the back of her neck, expression wry but amused. "I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it all, but I know I'm not really a fan of the whole thing."

Yukino couldn't help the giggle that escaped her. "Well that's one way to put it." Her amusement was replaced by rapidly replaced by concern and she reached out to touch the other woman's arm. "How are you holding up?"

Natsuki's expression was wry. "Everyone seems to be asking me that lately. And honestly? I'm alright. I'm not saying I'm not affected, but I'm not going to start falling apart or anything like that." She rubbed the back of her neck again and flicked back a lock of her hair. "The way I was before was a long time in the making. It's not going to happen again."

Without a second thought Yukino leaned forward and gave her friend a quick hug. "I'm glad to hear it. It's always odd to see the strong break."

"Strong huh?" Natsuki grinned. "I'll take that description happily."

The grin was infectious and Yukino found herself returning it almost instantly. "So, what brings you here?"

"Shopping, actually. I wanted to pick up some groceries on the way home. Mai wants to cook some new dish and we're running low on some things."

Yukino narrowed her eyes, gaze mystified. "You and Mai are living together?"

Natsuki laughed, understanding the other woman's confusion. "Not officially. But gradually, she came over to check on me more and more when I was…doing less than ideal and it kind of just became routine for her to stay. I think it's been nice for us both. Less lonely at least."

A soft smile crossed Yukino's features as she nodded. "I understand completely. And in the spirit of avoiding loneliness, how about we search for our items together and you fill me in on all the recent hospital dramas."

Natsuki rolled her eyes then paused, eyes curious. "Only if you tell me about lawyer drama."

"Deal."

When Shizuru returned home, she did so in a much better mood. The tension and desperation that had clung to her like a cloak throughout the week had dissipated, replaced by a loose calm.

And with that minor ease, she recalled the note that had been left on the fridge nearly two weeks earlier. With a soft sigh of disgust she strode into the kitchen and took the note in hand. As she'd expected, it had been left by her mother, containing a number and directions to call and keep her updated on how things had been going.

Shizuru rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes. Knowing her mother, she was sure the woman was silently fretting but trying to keep from being overbearing.

Quickly deciding there was no point in mentally admonishing herself further, Shizuru picked up the phone and began dialing the familiar number of her parents Kyoto home. After a few rings, she was rewarded with a warm response.

"Fujino residence, how may I help you?"

"Hello Mother."

"Shizuru!" There were rustling sounds followed by a thump. "Hello sweetheart! How have you been?"

Shizuru rolled her eyes, lips quirking with amusement as she imagined the mess her mother must have made in her excitement. "I've been…well, not particularly perfect, as I'm sure you've guessed. But, things are looking up. How have things been with you?"

"Well, your father has been an absolute pain, as per usual." Shizuru couldn't help but laugh softly as she heard her father protest in the background. "But we've been lovely."

A smile lit her features, fueled by her parents' clear contentment. "I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. Things have been…hectic to say the least."

Her mother emitted a knowing sound that only a mother could make. "I take it you've seen Natsuki."

Shizuru blinked. "That's quite the jump. I haven't told you anything yet."

"Shizuru, I'm your mother. I know better than anyone the tone your voice takes when you talk about the person you love."

A warm flush flooded Shizuru's cheeks and she chuckled. "I suppose you would, wouldn't you." She slid down into a nearby chair and sighed. "Well then, long story short, Natsuki walked in on my assistant kissing me. As of yet I have no idea why she was there."

"But you intend to find out." The words portrayed themselves as a clear statement, leaving Shizuru no need to give a response before her mother continued on. "Not that I'm judging you or anything of the sort my dear, but why were you kissing your secretary?"

"I wasn't. She accosted me. Hence why I said she kissed me." She rolled her eyes at the barely suppressed laughter coming through the speaker. "Isn't this the part where you're meant to console me?"

"Come now Shizuru, darling, you have to admit that it's rather…entertaining. If I'm not mistaken, that girl has been trying to seduce you since the day she met you."

Shizuru gave a small sound of defeat, shoulders slumping. "Believe me, despite my many attempts to ignore her efforts, she made it abundantly obvious."

"With this recent development, I'd say she's pushing obvious. I take it you made the limits of your relationship clear?"

The tone of warning was clear and Shizuru couldn't help a small smile. "Of course Mother. Though I can't help but wish I'd done so earlier. It would have prevented all these complications."

"I see." Concern was evident in her mother's voice as she paused. "What are you going to do now?"

Shizuru grimaced. "Honestly? Between my own feelings and Haruka's advice, I think I'm planning to burst into the hospital, hunt her down, and force her to talk to me."

"Sounds rather blunt, but promises at least some success."

From the older woman's tone, Shizuru could draw no sense of her opinion. "But I find myself lacking actual motivation. I'm not entirely sure that it's a good move."

"Is it what you want?"

Shizuru bit her lip, taking a moment to assess her surety. "I need her back Mom."

Her mother's voice rolled through the connection once more, tinged with softness. "Then what's the problem?"

"I don't know if I can trust my feelings. They're what got me into this mess in the first place. I know what I need but…" Shizuru trailed off, feeling the promise of tears pricking the back of her eyes.

"But you're afraid. You're scared she'll reject you."

"What if she's done with me?" She closed her eyes, attempting to ward off her tears.

"If she was so done, she wouldn't have come back, now would she? Natsuki's a clever, driven woman. She doesn't take action unless she's thought through every aspect of it."

Shizuru smiled shakily. "That's a rather positive thing to say about your daughter's ex, Mother."

"I'm not saying that Natsuki doesn't have her issues, but I still think you two were a good match. Somewhere along the way, you two just lost your ability to connect. It's happens to even the best couples. But without the effort of both parties to fix that, things fall apart."

Her mother's words slowly eased the last of Shizuru's doubts and she found the oppressive sadness that had been plaguing her melt away. "Thanks Mom."

"You're welcome sweetheart. Remember to call and let me know how things go."

"I will." Shizuru's tone matched her mother's own, mimicking its fond warmth. "Thank you again. For everything."

"Any time dear. Any time."

Later that evening, Natsuki returned to her apartment to see a petite figure laid out on her couch. She rolled her eyes as she took care to set her things on the floor quietly.

She walked over to her friend, making sure to tread lightly in case the other woman was sleeping. Finding that she was she took a moment to drape a nearby blanket over her before heading into the kitchen. She made quick work of putting her groceries away and once she was done, she found herself unsure of what to do next. It was late, but she didn't feel like going to bed. The day have been eventful and had left her with a great deal to think about.

The main thing on that list was the conversation she'd had with Hitomi. The older woman had argued her point well and it had been valid, something Natsuki couldn't ignore. Even more compelling was the fact that she wanted to do exactly what Hitomi had recommended. But it was that eagerness that made her hesitate. She wanted Hitomi to be right and she wanted it more than anything. But she couldn't risk hurting Shizuru more than she already had.

And that left her in the same place she started, confused and torn between yearning and caution. She knew what she wanted but she could still feel some part of her mind urging caution. Hitomi's words had struck a cord within her, but she still needed that final confirmation.

But the answer to her problem was practically right in front of her, just a few feet away. In all of her snoring, messy haired glory.

Natsuki smiled fondly as Mai let out another soft snore. Though she wanted answers, the last thing she intended to do was wake her friend from what was clearly an enjoyable slumber. Especially when Natsuki could tell that her snoring meant she'd been exhausted when she'd passed out on the couch. Mai only ever snored when she was dead tired.

She let her eyes rove around the kitchen, smiling softly as she took in how spotless it was. Hard day or not, Mai had clearly put some time and effort into the space. And she was definitely being treated to dinner as soon as they had time.

Her eyes alighted on a piece of paper lying near the coffee maker. She smirked as she walked over to it, knowing that Mai had left it there for her. There was no other reason it would have been left in that particular place considering Natsuki's intense reliance on her morning coffee. She picked the pastel note up and let her eyes rove over it slowly, laughing quietly as she understood. It seemed that dinner would be coming much sooner than she'd thought. It seemed she would have a partner in crime for her day off.

Just then her phone chimed softly, indicating a text message. She pulled it out of her pocket and flipped it open. The message was from Hitomi, indicating that Natsuki was to enjoy her day off and that if she were to step a foot on hospital grounds, Hitomi would have her thrown right back off. She rolled her eyes and began to respond as another message appeared.

I've got everything with Sakura handled. Don't worry. Just relax and give yourself some time to think things over. And seriously, I will harm you if I hear or even suspect you've been near the hospital.

Natsuki snorted and rolled her eyes again, sending Hitomi a quick message in return. Fine. I'll stay away. But I'll have you know that I resent your controlling tendencies.

The response was nearly instantaneous. Bullshit Kuga. You love me. Accept it.

With a small laugh Natsuki responded. Whatever. Asshole.

She knew Hitomi would leave the conversation at that and slid her phone back in her pocket before making her way to the washroom quietly to prepare for bed. Maybe she wasn't ready for whatever the next day would bring, but at the very least, she would be well rested.

Shizuru woke in a foul mood. She'd tossed and turned all night, getting little to no sleep. A quick glance at the clock that sat nearby made it clear that she'd woken up much earlier than necessary. She groaned softly and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping she'd be able to fall asleep once more, given enough time.

Eventually, as her clock indicated the time to be just past seven, Shizuru gave up. She pushed back her blankets, sitting up slowly.

She breathed in, and out, trying to orient herself. She'd been up for nearly an hour, but her mind had been floating from one thing to another, leaving her feeling lost and befuddled.

As she stood, her thoughts finally coalesced and hit her with the force of a semi-truck. The scenarios that had tormented her through her dreams and into reality came roaring back, taking all semblance of steadiness from her.

She sat back on her bed, trying to calm herself. But it seemed that no matter how long she tried to calm herself, her doubts and fears came rushing back.

Eventually, she gave up and pushed herself forward. Despite her emotional instability, she had every intent of progressing through her morning as she normally would, her nerve be damned.

Through sheer force of will, Shizuru managed to make herself her morning tea and force down a light breakfast. But once the familiar routine had been completed, she found herself dwelling once more.

She clenched her fists and stood, anger and self-disgust flowing through her. It had been so constant, her desperation and her regret, that it had built up to an unmanageable level.

It took all the will power she had for Shizuru to be able to loosen her fists and take a deep breath. The burst of emotion made it clear to her that she'd pent everything up far too long. No matter how impressive she was at maintaining a calm demeanour, even she needed some outlet, some method of releasing it all.

With a small smile, Shizuru headed back towards her room, making a beeline for the closet. Moving a few things revealed the item she was looking for and she gathered them swiftly. A smile crossed her lips as she felt her weapons familiar weight.

There was nothing that would be half as successful at helping her control her hectic feelings, than an age old practice. Specifically, Shizuru knew she was long past due for indulging in her favorite art.

Now all she had to do was hope the old dojo she was most fond of would still remember her.

Natsuki barely restrained herself from spitting out the mouthful of coffee she'd just taken. With a hard swallow she focused in on her friend. "Do we have to?"

Mai's eyes glimmered with amusement. "Come on Natsuki, I'm taking you shopping, not to a slaughterhouse."

"I'd prefer the slaughterhouse." Natsuki's gave her friend a mutinous glare. "It's my day off. Shouldn't I be allowed to do something fun?"

"Shopping is fun. And besides, you already agreed to come with me."

Natsuki groaned, knowing Mai was hardly one to lie. Despite this, she made one last attempt. "Are you sure I agreed to this? Was I drugged?"

Mai snorted and rolled her eyes. "Not even close. You're coming, whether you like it or not."

A small pout made itself clear on Natsuki face as she glared into her coffee. "Fine. But you're paying for lunch."

A grin lit Mai's face as she acknowledged her victory. "Perfect. We're leaving in an hour, so I suggest you go shower and dress. And don't drag your feet about it either. I will drag you out of here naked."

Natsuki's eyes fell on her friend once again as she acknowledged her understanding with a half-hearted glare. "Fine. I'll be ready." She threw back the rest of her coffee with a few sure gulps and stood, begrudgingly heading off to take her shower.

In under half an hour Natsuki returned, dressed in a pair of black jeans and a deep blue v-neck shirt. She ran her hand through her quickly blow-dried hair, smoothing the few fly away hairs. She scowled slightly as she saw her friend standing by the door, Natsuki's favorite leather jacket in hand. "I still hate you for this."

Mai grinned as her friend took the jacket and slid it on. "I know. But perhaps this will help?" She barely restrained a powerful urge to laugh as Natsuki eyed the thermos she held with suspicion.

"That would depend on what you have filled it with." Natsuki's eyes remained narrowed, even as she grabbed her keys and wallet of the front hall table and stuffed them in her pockets.

"Well now, I think the best way to be sure would be to take it. And, if you're feeling adventurous, you could even try taking a sip without looking." Mai finally gave in and laughed lightly as Natsuki reached out and took the mug and removed the lid. "Seriously, what do you think I'm going to put in there?"

Natsuki gave her friend a side long glance, leaving a poignant pause before she spoke. "Drugs."

The silence that followed was laced with a light tension as Mai stared her down. "Drugs. Why would I want to drug you?"

A slight lifting of her eyebrows was the only answer Natsuki gave.

Mai rolled her eyes. "You're weird. And not even the lovable kind. You're the paranoid kind." When Natsuki ignored her once more in favor of sniffed the liquid in the thermos, Mai smacked her upper arm. "Put the lid back on and get going. Even if there was poison in that, it still wouldn't get you out of this."

With a soft groan, Natsuki followed her friend out the door. "Believe me, if I thought it would, I'd be the one poisoning it."

After a few long hours, Natsuki found she'd completely lost count of the number of stores they'd been through. What truly surprised her, was the lack of irritation she felt. Normally, shopping of any sort would make her feel tense and trapped. But there was something about it that was soothing this time.

She was pulled from her thoughts by Mai's voice, attention snapping to focus on her friend.

"What do you think of this?" Mai twirled slowly, showing Natsuki the dress she had chosen from all angles.

A sharp glare from the red-head cut the noncommittal grunt she'd begun short. With a short sigh, she studied her friend, attempting to find something to comment on. Not that there was a lack of features to compliment. The deep green flattered her pale skin and fiery hair, and the finely tailored bodice showed of her assets to the best advantage. But Natsuki knew Mai was looking for something more than that.

She crossed her arms, eyes searching. Without warning, her vision altered, memories flashing through her mind in reality's stead. Her chest tightened as she recalled the last time she and Shizuru had gone shopping. The woman had needed to purchase a new dress for her firm's Christmas party and she'd dragged Natsuki along to get her opinion.

The memory left her slightly breathless and her world felt brittle. She forced a smile to ward off Mai's concern. Once she gained her breath, she squinted slightly. "When did your ass get so big?"

Mai's eyes narrowed dangerously. "This had better be the part where you tell me you're kidding and flatter me to the best of your stunted ability."

Natsuki laughed. "Luckily for me, that is exactly what I was intending to do." She gave the woman a final once over before meeting her nervous gaze. "I'm not the greatest with this kind of thing, but it flatters you. But I'm pretty sure you could make rags look good. But there's something about it that's just…you. And it just adds to it. Does that make sense?"

"More sense than you'd think." Mai gave her friend a grin. "And you've managed to get yourself off the hook. Bravo Kuga."

Natsuki merely rolled her eyes and gave the woman a small grin as she turned around and re-entered the changing room. As she waited, she assumed the position she'd previously had against the wall. From her view-point, she could see out the store window and onto the street. Her eyes roved over the people passing, mind processing the details slowly.

Tall, slender, honey-brown hair. Natsuki admired the woman before she even recognized her own actions.

Then it clicked and she understood what she was looking at.

It took her seconds to push off the wall and bolt from the store. She was where she'd seen the woman, in under a minute. But it was still a minute too late. She searched the people that flowed around her desperately, trying to find her quarry once again.

The faces that surrounded her were all unfamiliar and she gritted her teeth in frustration. She searched a second time before giving up and rubbing a hand across her face. "Damnit Shizuru."

She staggered toward the nearest wall, letting her weight fall against it as she attempted to gather some semblance of balance before returning to Mai. It ended up being futile as the woman appeared before her, concern written all over her pretty features.

"Natsuki? Are you alright?"

She managed a small nod and lifted a hand to poke at one of the buttons on the front of Mai's shirt. "Your shirt's all messed up."

Mai looked down, cheeks flaring. "Oh gosh. I didn't even notice. No wonder the shop clerk looked at me so oddly."

Natsuki snickered. "Yeah, I'd probably give you a weird look too. I'm pretty sure you missed three buttons, at least. How did you not notice that? You're normally so put together."

"Well sorry. I was just a bit preoccupied." Mai stuck her tongue out at her friend and crossed her arms. "That tends to happen when my shopping buddy goes missing."

Natsuki arched a brow, her gaze gently mocking. "It also tends to happen when you see a cute guy." She grinned as her friend blushed darkly. "I see. So that was it."

"I, um, it- it wasn't a guy!" Mai waved her arms frantically, as though the motion itself would dispel her friend's teasing.

Initially, Natsuki was going to drop the subject and give the other woman a reprieve. But there was something in the way she protested that caught Natsuki interest once more. Her brows furrowed slightly as she thought it over. After a few moments, her eyes widened in shock. "No way. You saw a cute girl?"

An answer wasn't even required as Mai flushed an all new shade of red. "Holy crap Mai, I had no idea you…oh god, all those jokes I made at your expense and I had no idea. Hell, I'm so sorry."

Mai shook her head violently. "No, no, no. It's not, I mean I'm not-" She groaned and brought her hand to her forehead. "This is pretty new for me."

Natsuki folded her arms over her chest and adjusted her position against the wall, making it clear she wasn't moving without an explanation. "Details."

With a small whimper, Mai buried her face in her hands. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

Natsuki snorted. "After all the hell you've given me over the years, you've had this coming. Now spill, or I'll force the information out of you."

"You know, I think you missed your calling. You really would have made a great cop. Or even just a great interrogator." Mai pouted as Natsuki narrowed her eyes, gaze expectant. "Can you at least wait until we get home? Or at least until we find somewhere to eat? I'm starving."

There was a pause as Natsuki considered the request. A pause that was interrupted by a loud growl. Natsuki blushed lightly and cleared her throat. "Over lunch then. Lead the way."

Once she'd spent a few hours training, and reacquainting herself with her weapon, Shizuru felt centered again. Furthermore, the exercise had burned off a great deal of her nervous energy and had put an end to all her doubts.

With her mind far calmer and her feelings in check, Shizuru had no intention of being dissuaded. And somehow, the nerves that routinely resurfaced, only encouraged her further.

With her newfound determination, making her way to the hospital had been easy enough. She'd been there a fair amount of times before. It was still filled with the fast pace and smells that were commonly associated with all hospitals. The only thing that seemed to have changed was her ease with the building.

In the past she would have greeted the clerk at the front desk then wandered through the hospital, greeting those she knew and staying out of the way of others, until she reached Natsuki's office.

Sometimes the woman would be there, hunched over a multitude of papers, with her computer open for researching some new anomaly that was tugging at her attention. Other times, the office would be empty and Shizuru would have sat in one of the chairs to wait.

But this time, it would have to be quite different. She supposed she should have made an appointment, or something of the like.

A frown crossed her features as she realized her mistake. There was no way they would let her in if she didn't have an appointment. In all of her nervous worrying, she'd never thought the entire thing through. And now it had been a mere waste of time.

She eyes the front desk, feeling peevish, and sighed. There was no reason in getting irritated with things she couldn't change, nor was it particularly useful to berate herself for her lack of forethought. With a soft sigh, she decided to make use of the trip by scheduling an appointment of sorts.

She frowned again, wondering if you could even schedule an appointment with a doctor if you weren't sick. She repressed a groan but let a few soft curse words slip through.

"From the many things I've heard about you, cursing isn't really your thing, now is it?"

Shizuru stiffened, caught off guard. She schooled her expression before turning around, her movements showing controlled ease. The woman before her was one she didn't recognize. And with her wavy blonde hair and light brown eyes, Shizuru knew she would have remembered such a beautiful woman if she'd met her before. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

The woman smiled, some sort of secret amusement dancing in her eyes. "No. You don't know me. However, I do believe I know a great deal about you. And, considering the definite absence of illness, I have a feeling you're here to see one Natsuki Kuga."

Shizuru may have been able to keep the emotion from her features but she couldn't help the way her cheeks paled then flushed. "My apologies but I don't feel entirely comfortable, not knowing who I'm speaking with."

"Even if I were to tell you, you wouldn't recognize my name Ms. Fujino." She peered at Shizuru, her expression curious. "So I must ask, does it really matter?"

There were many things Shizuru could have said in response, but for some reason she wasn't entirely sure of, she chose the truth. "You know Natsuki. Hence, you matter."

There was a flash in the blonde's eyes that Shizuru was barely able to identify. Her answer had met whatever standard the woman had held, pleasing her. With a vague motion she spoke. "Follow me."

Shizuru followed the stately woman, feeling more at ease. Though she hadn't been through the halls in a long time, they still felt familiar. Her chest tightened as she was hit with the nostalgia that came along with the familiarity. But as much as it hurt, it reminded her of what she'd lost, and what she was trying to get back.

Initially Shizuru wasn't sure where the woman was taking her. But once they reached the fourth floor, she realized they were mostly likely headed to the Pediatrics ward. It quickly became clear that she'd been correct as they walked through halls full of warmly coloured walls and child-friendly decorations.

The blonde didn't stop until they reached an office. Shizuru couldn't help but think it looked like Natsuki's from the outside. But once they were inside, she acknowledged a great deal of differences. There was much more color and there were toys on most of the surfaces. There were also little things that belied a minor lack of organization.

She took the seat the other woman motioned towards, crossing her legs gracefully. She remained silent, giving the other woman the chance to speak first, while she continued to survey the room.

"Jesus, they weren't kidding when they talked about you. You're some strange mix of old world elegance and cut-throat attorney. But sometimes you can't really believe it until you see it I guess." She sat in her own chair and leaned back, a picture of ease.

Shizuru merely raised her eyebrows, hiding her discomfort. "Cut-throat?"

The woman across from her cocked her head, seeming slightly confused. After a moment, her features settled. "Not in the way you're thinking. I say cut-throat, but it's my own interpretation of their description."

"I see." It was one of the rare times Shizuru felt at a loss. She wasn't sure what to do or say and she was worried about letting her emotions rule her words. So rather than risking it, she stayed silent once more.

The woman's eyes narrowed in thought before she smiled crookedly. "I'm one of her superiors. Natsuki, that is. I'm also well acquainted with Mai Tokiha. To most, I'm known as Dr. Akita. But I think this situation calls for a first name basis. So you may call me Hitomi."

Shizuru racked her brain, trying to recall whether or not Natsuki had mentioned the name to her before. She frowned slightly, unable to. "You may call me Shizuru, if you'd like."

Hitomi gave her a warm smile, amused once more. "There's no point." She met Shizuru's wary gaze and laughed. "Natsuki didn't even know I existed before you two split. I was interested, of course. Who wouldn't be? But Natsuki only acknowledged those she was working with directly."

"I…I see."

Even if Hitomi hadn't had her own skill in reading others, she would have noticed the flash of guilt and regret in the other woman's eyes. "I have a general idea of what went down, and I know what I would have thought in your position. So let me set the record straight, Natsuki saw no one but you. The few who tried pursuing her, in spite of knowing that she was taken, were shot down without any consideration."

Shizuru averted her eyes, feeling a myriad of emotion. "Were you one of those people?"

Hitomi chuckled. "No, not really. It would be a lie to say I didn't try. Initially I flirted with her, mostly because it's second nature to me. I see a pretty girl, I flirt. But eventually, I became intrigued and it became more than a game."

Her chest tightened once more as she thought of all the possibilities. Despite what Hitomi had said, she couldn't help the hurt. "I never knew."

"You wouldn't have. I'm pretty sure Natsuki had no idea either." Hitomi laughed. "It was one of the nurses who noticed my attempts and told me Natsuki was in a solid relationship. At first, I couldn't see it. But not long after there was a function we were all forced to and I saw the two of you. It's how I recognized you actually."

Brown eyes surveyed her once again, intense in their consideration. "After I saw it, I couldn't even entertain the thought of interfering. The way she looked at you said everything."

Shizuru's brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm sorry, I don't think I follow."

"She loved you. She lit up every time you looked at her. It's rare that I see emotion that pure. And even once she admitted that things had ended between you two…" Hitomi's smile became sad. "There's still too much there that I can't touch, that I would feel wrong to mess with."

The honesty behind the other woman's words rushed over Shizuru, and with it came a flood of thoughts. "I loved her so much. I don't even know what happened. One day, everything was so perfect, so wonderful. Something changed. It was gradual…but so sudden." She closed her eyes, ignoring the oddity that she was confessing her innermost feelings to a stranger. "I made a mistake when I left. A mistake I don't think I can take back."

"And yet, you're here."

The words took her off guard as she understood the significance. "Yes, I suppose I am."

Hitomi's eyes were intense and focused solely on Shizuru's own. "You're rational, logical. You don't mince words and normally, you don't waste time. You're to the point, Shizuru. Knowing all that, I'd say you wouldn't be here unless a part of you saw a chance."

Shizuru nodded slowly, acknowledging the truth behind the doctor's words. "Under most circumstances, I would agree with you. But I haven't been…myself, in quite some time. All standards are out the window." A sad sigh escaped her and she returned Hitomi's gaze with equal intensity. "Who's to say I'm not just incredibly desperate."

"That would explain it too." Hitomi's glance became one of appraisal. "Desperate or not though, you know when to fold Ms. Fujino. You still have an ace up your sleeve."

"Do I now?" Shizuru's eyebrows rose as her eyes alit with interest. "What might this ace be?"

Hitomi gave her a wicked grin and leaned forward. "That would be me."

End of Chapter Ten

This Chapter was mostly a lot of set up. Which means there's going to be a lot of things occurring in the next chapter. Hopefully you all enjoyed. And sorry for all the delays. There's a story behind it, but I think you'll all appreciate the one you've been reading more.

As a side note, Happy New Year everyone! I wish you all the best.