The Beautiful Ones Chapter 10
"We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why.
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny.
Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you.
I can't live a lie, running for my life
I will always want you.
I came in like a wrecking ball.
I never hit so hard in love.
All I wanted was to break your walls.
All you ever did was break me.
Yeah, you wreck me.
I put you high up in the sky
And now, you're not coming down.
It slowly turned, you let me burn
And now, we're ashes on the ground.
Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you.
I can't live a lie, running for my life
I will always want you.
I came in like a wrecking ball.
I never hit so hard in love.
All I wanted was to break your walls.
All you ever did was break me.
I came in like a wrecking ball.
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung.
Left me crouching in a blaze and fall.
All you ever did was break me.
Yeah, you wreck me.
I never meant to start a war.
I just wanted you to let me in.
And instead of using force,
I guess I should've let you in.
I never meant to start a war.
I just wanted you to let me in.
I guess I should've let you in.
Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you.
I came in like a wrecking ball.
I never hit so hard in love.
All I wanted was to break your walls.
All you ever did was break me.
I came in like a wrecking ball.
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung.
Left me crouching in a blaze and fall.
All you ever did was break me.
Yeah, you, you wreck me.
Yeah, you, you wreck me. - Miley Cyrus
Danny slept heavily throughout the night. He needed the rest. Yesterday had been the longest and most emotional day of his life. When Danny had stumbled into bed last night, he physically felt as if he had received battle wounds from his interactions first with Lacey, then with Rico, Jo, and another with Lacey again.
Yesterday's experiences had run the gamut from confrontations to admissions to revelations, and even towards a few resolutions. These compounded upon him making the weight far too heavy a burden on a 16 year old.
When Danny awakes that next morning, he is surprised to find that it is Noon. He panics. He is extremely late for school. He quickly showers, dresses, and runs downstairs. He stops quickly as he sees his mother is in the kitchen cooking what smells like lunch.
"Mom! My alarm didn't go off this morning. Why didn't you wake me?" Danny asks. It is unusual for his mother not to wake him when he slept late.
Karen turns briefly from her cooking to smile at him. "Good morning, Sweetheart. I un-set your alarm when I checked on you during the night. You had a rough night. So, I decided you weren't going to school today. I called Principal Tang and told him that you were 'sick'. He said he hoped you felt better."
"Thanks." Danny is thankful that he doesn't have to attend school today. He doesn't want to face Jo nor Rico. He would like to talk again to Lacey, but he is uncertain if he should. Perhaps it would be better if he gives her some space in order to calm down.
Danny walks to the refrigerator to get something to drink. He pours a glass of juice. He walks to the kitchen island and sits on a bar stool there. As he drinks his juice, his mother starts chatting.
"Are you feeling a little better this morning, Sweetheart?" Karen inquires.
"A little better, thanks" Danny replies. He decides to show more appreciation. "Thank you, Mother, for last night. It felt better to let it all out. I guess I had been holding a lot inside me." That was an understatement.
Last night, Danny had told his mother everything. He told her about his romancing of Lacey: how he pursued her away from Archie, that they briefly dated, became intimate, had a sex tape surface of them, reunited briefly, and broke up again because of his secrets. Karen already knew the last part, but Danny had not been fully honest on the 'why' of Lacey's breakup with him.
Danny had told his mother once that Lacey knew about Vikram's death. His mother had wrongly concluded that this was the sole reason why Lacey had left him. He had been too heartbroken to confess that his keeping Vikram's death a secret from Lacey (while Jo knew all details) was really what made Lacey turn away from him. Last night, Danny told Karen the full narrative of that breakup night – including Lacey finding out that he had bribed his History teacher for a better grade. Additionally, he enlightened his mother on the events leading up to the Jo/'secret' relationship debacle.
Danny depicted all the events of last night…all the revelations, all the confrontations, all the heartache…everything that led to his breakdown into his mother's arms. He had to give his mother credit. She genuinely listened to him. She did interrupt him a few times to ask questions or to show surprise at how much she had been in the dark on what had been occurring in his life. Halfway through Danny's bout of honesty last night, his mother had grabbed a whole bottle of wine to swig from as she listened to him. She said she needed more than a glass to handle all those revelations.
With each revelation, there had been a shift within Danny as he unloaded each burden he had been carrying alone. Yes, his mother did chastise him on how he handled Charlie. Yes, he should have let Karen know what a danger Charlie represented to everyone - once Danny saw how crazed Charlie had been with Danny's life and those people within it. Yes, he agreed with his mother that he had botched things terribly with both girls.
Nonetheless, his mother's sympathies lay more with Lacey. Karen herself had been betrayed by Tess with Vikram so she could identify with Lacey's anger and pain at the betrayal by a friend and a loved one. Moreover, Karen had loved how Danny acted around Lacey – happier and more like a regular 16-year-old boy should function in life. Lacey had given Karen hope that if her son could find love and acceptance with Lacey, then maybe others would give Danny a second chance as well.
Danny had even informed Karen of the truth surrounding Tara's death. That revelation had her taking several swigs from the bottle directly – forgoing her glass. The air had been filled with her curses on his dad's head and anger that Vikram had persuaded Danny to carry that public shame all these years…that Danny had been punished for a crime he didn't even commit…that Vikram was a coward who faked death and lived in hiding - to avoid facing any consequences. His mother had been extremely livid about that.
The other topic which had received Karen's vitriol was the sex tape. She was set on punishing those who filmed Danny and Lacey and whoever was responsible for the tape being released virally. She showed concern for Lacey and his wellbeing after that incident. Karen made Danny promise that he would give her more knowledge into his life – the good moments and the bad. She was his mother…his only parent; this little family could only succeed if they supported each other. That meant full honesty from both of them – concerning everything.
When Danny and Karen had stopped talking, it had been very late. His mother had made him a 'hot toddy' just this once. She said the warm liquor would make him sleep better. The liquor was a little strong but she was right, his mind was soon muddled and the painful thoughts could not penetrate through the fog. He slept the best he had in several weeks.
Karen moves from the stove to the island where Danny is sitting. "Sweetheart, I was planning all throughout the night what our next move should be." Karen pauses to get his attention. She continues with a small laugh. "Well, that is a 'move' literally. I have decided we are going to spent some time in Arizona with your grandmother…starting tomorrow."
"What? What about school?" Danny questions.
"You only have a few weeks left of this Spring term before your Summer vacation begins. I have arranged with Principal Tang for you to be able to receive your remaining assignments and take your final testing in Arizona. He owed me…so he agreed." Karen smirks before she speaks again and points to him. "Don't ask about the specifics. At any rate, we both need a break from everything in this godforsaken town. This will be a reprieve for both of us." Karen nods as she makes this declaration.
Karen adds "We both need a change of scenery…who knows… if we love Arizona, we may never be back."
"But Lacey is here." Danny protests a permanent move to Arizona.
Karen rationalizes "Sweetheart, we can always come back here to visit. Plus, you have money now; you can buy Lacey a ticket to visit with us. You have Skype, FaceTime, email, phone…all types of ways to stay connected."
Karen leans down to Danny and touches the side of his face. "Lacey loves you – even if she hasn't said it yet. Honey, she is hurting and needs time to heal. Lacey will eventually realize her feelings for you won't go away. Then, you can convince her to become yours again. So, no matter who in Arizona or who is in Green Grove, I am sure you two will find the way back to each other again. It's fate.'
Karen runs a hand down his hair and kisses the top of his head. She returns to the stove to check on the meal she is cooking.
Danny's heart has an ache when he thinks about leaving Lacey here, but he ignores it. His mother is right. The space could be good for Lacey and him. They re-connected after 5 years of his being in Juvie. They had reconnected again after their initial breakup. Maybe the intense bond between them would allow another reconciliation – after experiencing some time away from each other.
Besides, being in Green Grove right now has too much drama. Danny wants to rid himself of all the bad karma he has experienced in Green Grove.
Later that night….
Danny looks around his bedroom after he has finished packing everything he thinks he will need for 3 months in Arizona. He almost forgets something. He pulls some of his favorite pictures that he wants to take with him. These pictures contain the best parts of Green Grove that he has experienced. The people in the pics represent what he will miss – especially one person in particular.
Danny is tempted to leave a text for Lacey before he leaves, although he really wants to hear her voice one last time before he leaves. He builds up his nerves to call. Danny closes his eyes as he listens to the ringing. There is one ring, two rings, a third ring…just when he thinks she will ignore his call and her recorded message will state to leave a message after the tone, he hears a pick-up and then a "Staying the hell away from me also applies to phone calls as well as texts." Lacey answers the phone without a greeting.
He quickly opens his eyes. Lacey's response is not the one he wanted but at least she didn't ignore his call. He offers a tentative, husky "Hello, Lacey."
There is silence on the other end of the line.
Danny is disappointed that his greeting hasn't been reciprocated. He knows Lacey is still angry with him, so he tries to use his charm to persuade her to talk. "I can hear you breathing on the other side of this line. Maybe you didn't hear me well the first time, so I will state again a little more clearly….hello, Lacey."
"Helloooo, Danny. What the hell do you want?" Lacey demands.
"I wanted to hear your voice. I wanted to make sure things were okay with your mom."
"You're kidding me, right? Grounded for a month for having a boy in my room…kissing him no less. I'm lucky that I wasn't grounded until college. Just wait until my father hears…" Lacey sounds agitated. She takes a calming breath before she continues. "Look, you don't have to concern yourself about my welfare anymore."
"Lacey, I will always be concerned about you…"
Lacey interrupts "Danny, don't…if you ever cared even the slightest about me, then you will respect my wishes. Okay? Respect. My. Wishes."
Danny questions "Even if those wishes go against everything I want?" Danny closes his eyes as he plows ahead to try to say what he really wanted to say when he called. "I want you. I want to be back in your life. I know I messed up…caused all these complications…and yeah, that's an understatement. Look, Lace, I will be going away for a while and maybe while I am away, we both can think about the things we said last night. Maybe the space will help us both sort things out."
"W-What did you say?" Lacey's voice catches.
Hearing the catch in her voice, Danny's eyes open and he becomes a little hopeful. "I will be leaving for Arizona tomorrow. My mother has convinced Tang to let me finish my remaining assignments out-of-state. I'm not even sure I want to know how she accomplished that feat." He gives a small sarcastic chuckle.
Lacey questions "When will you be back?" She knows she shouldn't ask – especially since she's told Danny that she wants him out of her life. His move to Arizona has caught her unaware and she is just surprised, that's all. Her asking him about his return is only out of curiosity – or at least this is what she convinces herself to be true.
Danny tests Lacey for her reaction. "I'm not sure. My mother is convinced we will love it so much that we will stay for good."
"Oh…well, I am sure you will like it better than Green Grove." Lacey says with a slightly lowered voice.
"Arizona is just my re-boot. Green Grove is my home." Danny insists. "There is one thing I will miss most about Green Grove. I'll miss you…every day."
"Danny…don't..."
"And deep down, underneath it all, I think you will miss me, too." Danny declares.
"Danny, I'm going to hang up now." Lacey feels her resolve will crack if she is on the phone too long with Danny.
Danny sighs dejectedly. "Do you hate me?" Danny wants to know, but is simultaneously afraid to hear the answer…especially if it is affirmative.
Lacey's has a ragged exhalation of breath and her next words come out enveloped in a soft sob. "With every fiber of my being, I want to hate you. I need to hate you to get you out of my system. But…try as I might…as angry and hurt as I feel, I just can't seem to hate you. And I really, really want to be able to hate you."
Danny acknowledges "I know I deserve it. I have ruined so much between us. But I am glad that you don't hate me. It would have killed me to hear that you hated me."
"Danny, I need to go now" Lacey suddenly declares.
"Do you really need to go or are you running away from this conversation?" Danny challenges.
Lacey avoids his question. "We should hang up now, okay? I'm going to hang up."
Danny stalls "Wait, Lace. There's one more thing I just wanted to say…"
"Danny…"
"Elizabeth Marie Porter…" Danny emphasizes his feelings as he recites parts of a song that reminds him of her:
"Baby, it seems the time is never right,
You're goin' left and I'm goin' right.
It's crazy.
But I'm still waiting.
If I play my cards right,
My luck's gonna strike.
Until then, there's the night,
All I wanna do…
Is dream, dream, dream, dream,
Dream, dream, dream, dream,
Like lovers do.
And it might come true.
If I dream, dream, dream, dream,
Dream, dream, dream, dream.
It just might be the only time that I'm with you.
When I dream, dream, dream,
Dream, dream.
Oh, I dream.
Yes, I dream.
Dream, dream yeah,
Dream, dream.
They say that dreams, they sometimes do come true.
Your star shines so bright.
You're the queen of my night.
In the daytime not quite,
But I'm so glad that I…
Can dream, dream, dream,
Dream, dream, dream…
Like lovers do.
And it might come true.
If I dream, dream, dream,
Dream, dream, dream.
It just might be
The only time
That I'll be with you.
But I'll dream, dream, dream,
Dream, dream, dream…of you."
The last few words were whispered – as Danny's throat becomes clogged due to the depth of his emotions – but he is able to finish the prose from the song.
When Danny first heard the John Legend song, he immediately resonated with the lyrics. He envisioned Lacey with every line which spoke of a love that did not exist in a physical state but only in the dream world. The song held promise that such a dream could come true. That also was the wish that Danny held for Lacey.
There was silence on the other end of the line until Danny heard an abrupt take of breath and then Lacey's tremulous voice "Danny, I have to go…take care of yourself in Arizona." She hangs up.
Danny holds onto the phone for a moment longer after the disconnection. Then, he decides to text the additional thing that he didn't have the nerve to say aloud to her – especially after last night's heated discussion in Lacey's bedroom.
He texts to Lacey:
I love you.
He knows Lacey will not respond back; yet, he still wanted her to know. Therefore, Danny is surprised when he receives a text back.
I know.
In response, Danny texts back:
I know, too.
His text to Lacey conveyed that even though there was no confirming love declaration from her, Danny knows what is in her heart. He knows that her anger and pride are preventing her from formally admitting any feelings still linger for him. Maybe one day, he will hear those words from her.
For now, Danny will only have the dreams of being with her. Arizona awaits him while Lacey will be a coast away. Danny doesn't know what the future holds for him, but he knows that he needs and wants Lacey to be in it.
"Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don't care?
It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning, and the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?
It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar
No no no no no no
Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight - Pink
*Lovely Readers, thank you for reading. These Chapters 8 – 10 took a VERY long time to write. Before attempting Chapters 8 and 9, I had written Chapter 10 partially and had chosen a direction and the songs that I wanted to have for that chapter.
When I wrote Chapters 8 and 9 back-to-back, I discovered I wanted the concept of Chapter 10 to change. I chose to only use a portion of that original thought, change songs entirely, and then I had to flesh out the rest of Chapter 10. (Now, the remaining of that chapter's original concept will be Chapter 11…lol)
At any rate, because I wanted to post the three chapters together (kind of like an arc), then it took an EXTREMELY LONG TIME to mesh the three chapters together to flow well in the storytelling.
Even though I love 'The Beautiful Ones' and 'The Break', they have become the ones which have been the most exhausting to write due to the range of emotions and the growth of those characters that I want to express. Since these two stories are the most directly-tied into the tv show's events, I wanted to honor the good parts of Twisted's foundation, correct its faults, and expand to create a richer experience that the show had robbed us.
So, thank you for your patience as I try to create something worth reading. For these past 3 chapters, I know I spent far too much time on them, but it took a while for me to create the right tone and dialogue I wanted. I hope you enjoyed the finished product.
Songs used in this chapter were 'Wrecking Ball' by Miley Cyrus, 'Dreams' by John Legend, and 'Glitter in the Air' by Pink. Thank you, as always, for reading.
P.S. Next up for updates would be 'The Break' and 'Prime Recognition'. I probably will also complete the last chapter of the two-shot for 'Tamed Submission' since it is mostly written.
I have gotten a LOT of requests for updates for 'Blurred Visuals'. It is really very sweet to see the response to that fic. For this particular fic, I have written partials for upcoming chapters (yes, out of order) of what I want for different scenes and dialogue to be.
So, the infamous 'meet-cute' of Danny/Lacey in that fic hasn't been fleshed out yet. I will update by next weekend. I just have to get the right setting/tone/dialogue for that one since the anticipation level is high. DimplesValntina