The letter

Chapter 10 - Go Home

Penelope and Derek heard the team gasp and looked shocked, followed by 'oh my god's'.

JJ reacted first and got up, giving her a hug and said 'oh my god, Penelope I'm so sorry' JJ told her, getting tears in her eyes. Penelope hugged her friend back and Derek stepped away from Penelope as he wanted to give her some space.

Emily sat at the table in shock and got tears in her eyes. She kind of liked Kevin and she didn't talk to him much, but when she did she could tell by the way Kevin spoke about her best friend, that he really did love her. She stood up and went to give Penelope a hug 'I'm so sorry Penelope, we'll miss him, he really loved you' Em told Penelope.

Rossi stood up and gave her a hug 'aw I'm sorry, we know he will be missed. He was a great guy' Rossi said sincerely. Then he went to sit back down.

Reid walked over to Penelope awkwardly and gave her an awkward hug, 'I'm so sorry Penelope, you know you can talk to us when you want or just… I don't know but yea, we're here for you' Reid said sadly, Reid loved Garcia like a sister and felt sad for her.

Hotch stood in his place, smiled sadly and told her he would talk to her when everyone got back to doing their work and she nodded.

The team asked her a few questions but not too many as they didn't want to upset their grieving friend.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Some still in shock and some taking the news in different ways. Derek took Penelope's hand and kissed her head and she looked at him with tears in her eyes. He wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek and put his arm around her shoulder; she put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment.

She remembered the good times she had with Kevin and smiled, then opened her eyes. She looked at Derek and kissed him on the cheek. 'Thank you' she whispered in his ear then looked at him in the eyes and saw the love and sadness in his eyes. Maybe the sadness in his eyes was the sadness for her because she was sad or maybe he did like Kevin on some level and was sad he was gone. The love in his eyes was the love he felt for her.

Derek and Penelope stood there looking in each others eyes, their own little world with each other; they didn't notice the little smiles the team were giving each other. Penelope gave Derek a hug and then pulled back and looked at their friends.

Emily stood up and gave her friend another hug and then Hotch said 'Right, everyone get back to work. I need to talk to Penelope' showing no emotion on his face. Everyone went to give Penelope a hug again and said some comforting words then left the room.

Derek, Penelope and Hotch were the last ones left in the room and Hotch looked at Derek and said 'I need to talk to Garcia alone' sternly, then gave Derek a hard look when he made no move.

Derek sighed and Penelope looked at him and said 'its okay, I'm fine, wait outside if you have to' Penelope told him hoping to reassure him and squeezed his hand.

Derek let go of Penelope's hand and left the room quietly, waiting outside around the corner.

Penelope and Hotch made sure Derek was gone before Hotch went over to Penelope and made her sit down. He sat down across from her and said 'I'm sorry for your loss Penelope…' Hotch started and then took a deep breath. 'Take as much time off as you need, we'll understand, we will get a tech in to help us and everything, just take some time off, I will also need you to some grief counselling sessions, other than that just don't come in to work' Hotch said softly. After a moment or two Hotch said 'I want you to go home now actually, get your things in the office and take the rest of the day off' Hotch said sternly but with a small smile.

Penelope opened her mouth and said 'can I stay at work for a bit longer and go home after lunch or something, I have to do something to keep my mind of all this. That's mostly why I came in today. I understand, I will do the counselling' Penelope told him with tears in her eyes.

Hotch hated seeing his friend sad, she was the one that made everyone happy and now she was sad. It was weird to see but also comforting in some way. He nodded his head and said 'Ok, you can stay until after lunch and then you have to go home. I will come into your office and make sure you go home'. Seeing the smile on Penelope's face, he smiled more. His face returned emotionless again as he asked 'when did you find out?'

Penelope grimaced and said quietly 'basically long story short, I called Derek on Saturday because I was worried about Kevin, he hadn't answered any of my calls messages or whatever, I received 2 letters through my letter box and they were both from Kevin, one said he loved me and the other said that when I read the message he will be gone and like forever, and that he loves me, that I made his world a brighter place and things like that. Anyway, then like an hour later Kevin's brother…' Hotch looked surprised when she mentioned Kevin's brother. 'Thomas, then told us how he died and why he kept it from me and everything like that, Derek was upset too, Thomas was telling us stories about Kevin when he was young and everything. So yea, that's how I found out'

Hotch looked at Penelope sympathetically 'oh, I'm sorry, that must be really hard for you to deal with, but you're a strong woman Penelope, so you will, I'm guessing Derek stayed over that night with you' Hotch asked, knowing Derek would never leave Penelope alone like that especially with news that painful for her to deal with.

Penelope smiled and said 'yea, thanks but I don't feel so strong now and yes Derek did stay, I kind of made him but he said he wanted to anyway' Penelope paused for a moment and then asked 'can I come back to work if your on a case?'

Hotch thought about it for a moment and said 'err… if we need your help yes but otherwise no' Hotch stopped 'well you might not feel strong but you are and we all know that and we are all here to support you. That's what family does' Hotch told her then smiled and got up. She got up to and pushed her chair in and then turned around to see Hotch there, looking at her.

He gave her a Hotch hug and then stood back, Penelope looking at him in shock. 'I will make you go home ok' Hotch said sternly but friendly then let her go out of the room.

Penelope came out of the room with tears in her eyes and as pale as a ghost in shock. Derek frowned and asked 'baby girl what's wrong, it seems like you've gone into shock' Derek worried.

Penelope looked at him and said 'yea I kind of am…' Penelope made a face and then said 'Hotch just hugged me'

Derek's eyes widened in shock and his eyebrows shot up in surprise.