Chapter 9

Team Natsu returned to find their usual rowdy guild quiet. No one was talking. No one was smiling or laughing. A thick atmosphere hanged in the air making it almost unable to breath.

Mirajane Strauss was behind the bar, cleaning an already-clean glass. There was something wrong, something big. Natsu, Lisanna, Gray and Erza made their way to Mira. She didn't notice that they returned.

"What is going on here, Mira?"

It didn't appear that Mira heard her question but she looked up. Surprise flashed across her face but then she smiled. She didn't smile right. It was a sad, painful smile that graced her face.

"Oh, you guys are back. H-How did it go?" She didn't want to ask that. She didn't want to talk about something so simple now. Not now. The question: what if? Continued to repeat itself in her dull mind.

"It was a success. But what is going on here?" Mira smiled again, but the agony was in so much clearer.

"I am glad to hear that." She wasn't. She once again ignored Erza's question.

"The Master wanted to see you guys." The worry and questions kept growing in Team Natsu's hearts. Erza turned when Mira finally said something.

"I…It's L...Lucy."

It was barely audible but it sounded like a gunshot in their ears.

Natsu slammed his hands on the counter. "What about Lucy?" He said it louder than he meant to and a few heads turned. Mira started crying. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably and tears streamed down her cheeks.

"S..She….It's all our f-fault." She managed to say between the sobs. Natsu didn't try to get more out of the white-haired mage. He ran up the stairs, his team behind him. The Master's door was closed but he didn't care to knock. He burst into the room to find the master at the window. His sensitive nose picked up the strong smell of tears. Yet when the master turned around, there was no sign that he had cried.

"Where is Lucy?" The panic and fear was growing in him. The master suddenly looked older than his age.

"Lucy is dead." The mages in his office, froze. The color slowly draining from their faces. "Dead? How? When?" Erza couln't control herself. Lucy couldn't be dead. Her mind searched desperately for an explanation, for hope.

"She was in the train to Jofuka when it exploded. She wasn't one of the survivors…that's not all. There is a chance that Wendy and Charla were with her. I don't think they survived." Natsu fell to his knees. His head hung low as the guilt overwhelmed him. She died in a train because of an explosion and it was all his fault. He could have saved her. He could have eaten the flames but he didn't because he wasn't there. Happy had dropped the fish, his blue furry ears drooped. Fat Lucy was gone. So was Wendy and Charla. With who was he suppose to share his fish with now that Charla was gone? Gray had turned to the wall so that no body could see the tears. Lisanna placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to help. She didn't know Lucy that good but she was a member of her beloved guild. She was family.

There was silence in the room for a long time. Makarov stared at his mages. They didn't deserve this guilt. They made a mistake but the punishment was severe. "w..when is the funeral?" Erza asked. She had trouble controlling her voice. The master shut his eyes. Why do they have to suffer more? He asked the heavens but he knew that he couldn't lie to them.

"There will be none." Everyone's heads shot up. A mixture of confusement, anger and pain crossed Erza's face.

"She along with Wendy and Charla were no longer mages of Fairy Tail when they boarded the train. We can't do anything anymore."

"WHAT!" Erza exploded. "Lucy left the guild because she was too weak. She wanted to leave to get stronger. Wendy and Charla didn't want to leave her on her own, so they followed her."

Natsu couldn't take anymore.

The master stared at the open door and where Natsu had sat.

Natsu was running from himself, from the guilt and from the smiling chocolate eyes that haunted him. It was all his fault. It was his turn to run from the guild just like Lucy did. He ran and ran. Why? The question echoed in his mind over and over.

Why was he so blind? Why didn't he see the pain in her eyes when he asked her to leave the team? Why did he say she could get stronger if she didn't always depend on them?

He came to a stop with a frightening realization.

He killed Lucy. He was her killer.

The little color he had left, drained leaving him paler than a ghost. He was at her house. Like an old man, he entered her apartment.

The sweet strawberry scent that belonged to Lucy filled his nostrils. His eyes stared at the letter on the ground that was addressed to Wendy.

For how long he stood there and just stared at the paper on the ground, he didn't know nor did he care. Slowly, he picked it up and his eyes read every line, every word twice. His eyes were burning and slowly the tears rolled down his cheeks.

He was a monster.

He stood there until the sun vanished behind the earth and rose again. It was sunrise. He left the apartment and slowly walked back to the guild.

Heads turned when he entered but he didn't notice. He was staring at the floor as he made his way to the bar. Gray stood up and wanted to walk to his rival but the hand on his shoulder stopped him. Angered that someone wanted to stop him, he turned his head to look at Erza shaking her head. He looked back at Natsu who was drinking.

He understood.

He was better left alone for now.

That was soo sad. I hope that I didn't disappoint any readers with this chapter. I wanted to keep Fairy Tail so close to the original one even though they ignored Lucy.

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