Chapter 9
I remember being in the ambulance. But somehow I couldn't wake up. Nothing seemed to work. I couldn't move anything, not my fingers, not my legs. But inside my head I had woken up. Inside I was wide awake.
I remember thinking in the ambulance 'Maybe I'm dead. Maybe this is what being dead really feels like.' I've thought a lot about that ever since, and it doesn't worry me any more, not often anyway. I know I can't be dead because I'm in agony everywhere. I feel like I've been walked all over by a herd of elephants or something. I mean, you can't hurt if you're dead, can you?
I remember hearing an ambulance woman telling me that I wasn't to worry, that it wasn't far to the hospital. I remember her putting a mask over my mouth. When we got here, I felt the cold air on my face. The woman held my hand the whole time. She kept telling me that I was going to be okay, and I wanted to open my eyes and tell her that I was fine. But I couldn't, and I still can't.
I remember how I first came into this coma:
"Please, Bella, I can't live without you!"
Tell him! Tell him that you love him. NOW!
"Paul, I..." but before I could get the words out, a figure stepped in front of my car. I dropped the phone and stepped the brake as hard as possible. But I wasn't quick enough. The tires squealed in protest and rammed right into the figure. The figure went flying and so did me and the car. I rolled over and over, feeling the pain all over, and I could hear the glass shattering. Finally I stopped rolling.
"Bella? Bella!" Paul's voice was frantic but the phone was out of my reach.
I watched the figure on the ground and then the figure...got up!
"Oh no" I moaned. "Oh no, oh no, oh no."
I had rammed into a vampire. Just my luck. The vampire walk closer and closer to me and I could see his blood red eyes. And then...nothing. Just utter blackness took over.
Charlie's here in the room with me now, with Paul. Ah Paul. God I miss him so much. I would give anything to be able to open my eyes and just see him. Even for just a second. I'd give anything, anything in the world, just to be able to open my eyes and see him again.
I can hear Charlie leaving now, telling Paul that he has to get to work. I didn't mind. I enjoyed it when I was alone with Paul. When we were alone, Paul would often talk to me, or when the pack was here, too. He didn't talk to me like he thought I could hear him, but just for his own comfort. Like he needed to believe that I could hear him. That annoyed me a lot. I wasn't dead, so why couldn't he stop treating me like I was dead.
I could hear the rest of the pack coming in now. I could hear Kim and Emily sobbing quietly while Sam and Jared tried to calm them down, though I could tell they were close to tears, too. Urgh, why couldn't I wake up and tell them I was going to be fine.
There are so many questions I want to ask them. I want to ask what all my tubes are for. I'm full of horrible tubes going into me and out of me. I want to ask about the pack. Were they okay? Has anyone imprinted? Had they caught Victoria?
And another thing. How long have I been lying here in this bed? The trouble is there's no night or day for me, no yesterday, no today, and no tomorrow; so it's difficult to know how long I've been here. I'm guessing it's about three days, maybe four. But I can't really be sure.
I doze a lot, but I never know for how long. I feel like dozing off right now. I'm so sleepy. When I wake up Paul will always be there. I don't think he ever leaves my side. The pack gives him stuff to eat but I don't think he eats it. When he's alone, he'll dump it into the bin next to my bed. When I wake up I gonna rip his throat out and yelling at him for damaging himself for a good half hour.
"Please wake up, Bella" a soft voice said into my ear. That would be Kim. She's always asking me that, but I can't. I just can't.
'I'm trying!' I wanted to scream, but my mouth wouldn't move to form the words.
My favourite CD was playing. Doctor Gregory told them that something familiar to me might wake me up. Like perfume or music or a book. Stuff like that. All I wanted to hear was Paul telling me that he loved me.
I hate the fact that I didn't get a chance to tell Paul on the phone that i loved him. Because know he might never know.
A Christmas song comes on now. 'All I want for Christmas is you' by Mariah Carey. She's a really good singer.
When the song come son, I realise with a jolt that it must be near Christmas now. It was 28th November when the accident happened. I had to wake up before Christmas. I couldn't ruin their Christmas. That wouldn't be right.
"Rnee is coming over on the next flight" Paul told me, making me jump inside. I hadn't expected him to speak. "And I'll be here all the time." Now he's crying. It was odd to hear him cry. It hurt like hell. Not physically, but emotionally. All I wanted to do was wipe away his tears and tell him that I was going to be okay. But i couldn't. "Please wake up, Bella, please."
I'm trying, Paul, believe me, I'm trying.
We dwell on the past, while living the present
But I admit, the past was unpleasant
Renee's here. She comes most days now, almost never leaves, only to sleep, but never with Charlie. They don't do anything together any more, not since she moved out. She's reading to me. Christmas Carols by Charles Dickens. It used to be my favourite book when I was younger, but now it was just getting old. She keeps reading it to me over and over and over again. I could probably recite it from memory now.
Doctor Gregory is always saying it, to everyone who comes to visit me. He says anything could wake me up at any time- a voice I recognise, a book i know, a song i like, or some big surprise. He says everyone's got to try to find a way through me, and one of the best ways is by jogging my memory.
So Renee sits here reading Christmas Carols. I know it by heard, Renee, and it's not waking me up. Talk to me. I just want you to talk to me, like you used to. But she doesn't. She always says exactly the same thing when she first comes in to see me.
"Hello, Bells. You all right?" Silly question, Renee. The she gives me a kiss on the cheek, trying to hold back tears as she does so, sits down and starts to read.
Full of ups and downs, less pleasure more pain
We wished for the sun, but only got rain
I was glad when I was alone with the pack. They seemed to understand that I didn't want to listen to music or read books, I just wanted to talk. And, well, they all did enough talking for both of us.
"When you wake up, we'll have a great, big, massive party. Just us" Emily said. She was trying to look on the bright side, but I could tell she was have a hard time. "I'll cook, and you can choose the music, and just us girls will go shopping. And we can make the boys carry the shopping bags in, hey? That would be a laugh, won't it?"
But by the end of her little speech, she was sobbing again. I was crying to. I remember when we last did that, me, her and Kim. We had a right old laugh as they boys moaned and groaned about how many bags we had brought home.
Soon Krissy and Izzy came to visit.
"Hey, Bella. My name is Krissy" Krissy said. 'I know' I wanted to tell her. "Paul's probably told you about me. Izzy is here, too. We want you to wake up, Bella. My brother looks like crap, believe me. And I know that he needs you. I can see the way he looks at you. Like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Please, wake up."
"Hi, 'Ella" said a sweet, innocent voice at my ear and I instantly knew it was Izzy. "You wake up, soon?" Then to Krissy, she asked "Why 'Ella no wake up?"
"She will, Izzy, she will. When she's ready to, he will. She's just sleeping because she's tiered."
Krissy kissed my forehead lightly. "You need to wake up, Bella. Your family and friends need you.
And Izzy kisses me too. I've got a wet ear now.
"I made you a card" she said. "I put 'get well soon' on it in loads of glitter and I drew you and Uncle Pauly holding hands."
I heard someone stand the card up on my bed-side-table. I wanted to tell Izzy that it was beautiful, that I was really grateful for her time and effort put into it, but I couldn't.
We both made mistakes, put pain in our hearts
But here we are again, promising to never part
Around dinner time, I think, everyone but Paul left. He just sat there, holding one of my hands in both of his. Oh, how badly I wanted to tell him that I loved him. And to hear him say those three words back.
I LOVE YOU! I screamed in my head, wishing that I could break through the shell that seemed to be wrapped around me.
"Come on, Bella" Paul whispered. "Wake up! I miss you so much. It's been three weeks. Surely that's long enough for you. Bella...I...I love you."
And that was all it took. Those three, simple, but powerful words broke through my shell.
Counting our blessings and letting go of the past
Starting all over and making it last
I groaned, and twisted my head towards his voice. My eyes fluttered open and stared at his godlike features, drinking him in.
"Bella?" his angel like breathed. I memorized the way his lips moved, the way his eyes lit up when they saw that I was awake.
"Paul?" I croaked my voice barely above a whisper. "Oh, Paul, I'm so sorry!"
Then I went into a coughing fit.
"Bella!" he exclaimed. "Oh my god, you alive!"
I laughed, my voice filling the room and happy tears rolled down my cheeks. He was laughing too.
Feelings and memories flow deep in my mind
Of those days our love was genuine and kind
Everyone came rushing into the room. Sam, Jared, Jacob, Embry, Quil, Emily and Kim. All of them.
"Bella" Kim exclaimed, rushing over, sobbing and Emily joined her and we were all hugging.
Then the boys came over and gave me a hug, even Sam who I didn't think was the hugging type.
"Bella!" said Emily, her voice strict and serious, but filled with joy "don't you ever run off like that ever again. Do you hear me? Or I will personally hunt you down."
"You don't have to tell me twice" I chuckled. Where's Charlie? And Renee?"
"I'll call them" said Embry.
The whole room seemed to be smiling. I looked out side. It looked like it had been raining, but now it was sunny. How ironic? It was just like a scene from a movie.
I turned to look at Paul and grinned. He grinned back, his dark, chocolate brown eyes alit with passionate love, more than I thought was ever possible. Everything was going to be alright.
Holding you close, feeling your skin - Giselle Simental –
You look into my eyes and make my head spin
Those feelings are back, but stronger than ever
I know you're the one I wanna hold on to forever
We both smile again, nothing's better than this
Kissing you again was like our second first kiss.
AN: Hope you liked it. I've never been in a coma, nor do I know someone who has- thank God- so I just guessed. I hope it was okay.
Thank you to:
Darkwinx for putting my story on your favourite story list
And for all those who managed to review:
Firefox Shai: this soon enough?
Jacob Black rulez: sorry, I didn't mean to do a cliffy. It just screamed at me 'ENDING'!
Merry Christmas and a happy New Year
~Poison Ivey