Warnings: Self-harm, suicide, medical squick

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and am in no way affiliated with Cirque du Soleil.

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CHAPTER 10:

Adam was nervous as he waited for Nick to open the door. He knew the guy was drugged out of his mind but this was ridiculous. He banged his fist on the door again before it finally opened, revealing a confused Nick staring up at him.

"Adam? What is it? It's one in the morning…"

"You need to come with me. Sebastian and I were – hanging out and he just started crying. I don't know how to help him!" Adam explained exasperatedly.

"What? Why was he with you?" Nick asked before shaking his head. "It doesn't matter. Where is he?"

"He's in my room," Adam answered before they made their way back down the empty hall.

Bursting into Adam's room, they were horrified to find Sebastian sitting on the bed with a razorblade poised over his wrist. Nick yelled his name as Adam tackled the blade away from Sebastian. Sebastian tried to grab it off him but only succeeded in falling off the bed. Nick rushed forward, pulling Sebastian against him.

"Sebastian? Seb, what happened? What's wrong?" Nick asked quickly. He reached up and flicked on the lamp on the nightstand. Sebastian was covered in blood and he was shaking but Nick couldn't tell whether it was from crying or if something else was wrong.

"Sebastian, you need to talk to me," Nick tried again but he got no response. "Adam?"

Adam appeared from the bathroom, a grim look upon his face. "My sleeping pills are gone."

Nick felt as if his eyes would pop out of his head. He looked back down at Sebastian to see his boyfriend's eyes were drifting closed.

"No! No, you are not dying, Sebastian Smythe!" Nick yelled. "Adam, find Stan!"

Adam nodded before he ran from the room. Nick got to his feet before he grabbed Sebastian's hand and began dragging him across the floor to the bathroom.

"Wake up Sebastian, you have to wake up!" Nick cried. When he reached the bathroom, he leaned Sebastian against the bathtub. He slapped Sebastian's face, crying for him to wake up but he was unconscious. Looking down, Nick found the deep gashes in Sebastian's arms and felt himself begin to cry as he clamped his hand over the cuts but it wasn't enough.

"You have to wake up, Seb," he whispered brokenly. "You have to wake up so I can tell you I love you again. Because I do. Whatever happened, I still love you. God, I thought we were managing. I'm so sorry, Seb!"

"Nick!"

"We're in the bathroom, Stan!" Nick called over his shoulder. When the man came in, Nick shuffled away from Sebastian and let Adam pull him to his feet.

"Stan's called for an ambulance, he's gonna be alright," Adam said as Nick sat down on the bed. "Try and take some deep breaths, don't want you going into shock."

Nick breathed and watched sadly on as the paramedics arrived and Sebastian was swept away. Stan stayed with Adam and Nick, watching the pair worriedly.

"Boys, you're gonna have to explain to me what's happened tonight…"

"I found Sebastian in the practice tent. He was upset so we came back here. The White Angels, Oskar and his friends, they asked me to try and break Nick and Sebastian up. Though in fewer words, I only figured it out when Sebastian was crying." Adam looked to Nick apologetically. "I'm so sorry, Nick. I kissed him, we fooled around a little – it didn't mean anything."

Nick shook his head. "I'm not angry, Adam… I just want him back…"

"The paramedics said he should be alright," Stan murmured. "I'll call a meeting some time tomorrow and we'll put a stop to this once and for all. You two go and get some sleep though, alright?"

They nodded and got to their feet. Just before they left, Nick looked back to Stan.

"Stan, why do you care about him so much?" Nick asked tearfully.

"Because Sebastian is the kind of boy I wanted my son to be," Stan said simply. "Go to bed, Nick. I'll take you to the hospital in the morning."

Nick nodded again before he and Adam headed back to his room. It was going to be a long night.

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In the morning, Nick woke and immediately went to find Stan. Keeping his promise, the tour manager took Nick to the hospital to see Sebastian.

"Don't expect him to be too coherent. I got a call from his doctor this morning and he's alright but he's exhausted. He's put himself through the ringer," Stan explained. "Just remind him that you love him and that it's all going to be okay."

Nick nodded. "I can do that."

They reached the hospital and Nick began to feel scared but he swallowed it down when they arrived outside Sebastian's room. His doctor was waiting for him with a sober expression.

"How is he?" Stan asked.

"He's doing well. You should be able to take him home tonight or tomorrow. I presume the safety measures we spoke about earlier are being put in place?"

"As we speak."

"What safety measures?" Nick asked, hating to cut in.

"This is all off the books," Stan started. "Sebastian can only come with us under specific circumstances. He'll need to do conference calls with a counsellor every second day and we need to make sure he isn't cutting himself."

Nick nodded. He didn't like the idea but he wasn't about to leave Sebastian in some foreign country or let him be sent home.

"Is there anything else we need to know?" Stan asked.

"He won't be able to perform for a few days, his co-ordination and his balance will be off until the sleeping pills are out of his system. But other than that, he should be alright."

"Thank you," Stan glanced to Nick. "Can we see him?"

"Of course. Just be gentle with him."

Stan nodded before he and Nick slipped into the room. It was dark except for a light off to the side. Sebastian seemed peaceful as he slept, despite the bandages around his arms and the bags under his eyes.

"I spoke to him briefly on the phone," Stan murmured as Nick sat on the edge of the bed. "He asked where you were, if you were okay."

"He cares too much about me," Nick whispered as he tucked Sebastian's hair behind his ear. "Not enough about himself…"

"He'll get better. He's much better than he was when I met him."

"What was he like when you met him?"

Stan chuckled softly. "He was a stubborn little boy who just wanted to show that he could be great. And he was – I made sure of that."

Nick smiled at Stan before looking back to Sebastian as he stirred. His eyes flickered open before focusing on Nick.

"Nick…" He reached up and gently trailed his fingers over Nick's cheek. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," Nick murmured. "You're safe, that's all I need to know."

"I didn't mean to… I love you."

Nick took Sebastian's hand, kissing his fingers. "I love you too."

"We're gonna sort this out, Sebastian. We're gonna fix this," Stan said. "They don't hurt my boy and get away with it."

Nick could see the thankfulness in Sebastian's eyes. He hadn't ever seen the boy so happy before.

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A/N: Naww cute ending :p You're allowed to throw things, I don't mind. Only one more chapter but I think it might be a little long, I'm not sure. I hope you liked this though :) Thank you very much for reading –Em xoxo