"Siha, are you well?"
"I… I don't know."
"I never knew humans could turn an almost drell-like shade of green."
"Trust me. We can."
"Ah, that human saying, 'you learn something new every day.' There is a certain irony in these missions: you rescue a son and set him on a kinder path to bring a father peace, but you help a mother destroy her own daughter to grant her freedom."
"How do you always know what I want to talk about? Sometimes I wonder if you were really born an alien and not my long-lost twin."
"Perhaps I wasn't."
"I knew it! Switched at birth and cosmetically altered to pass as a drell."
"What is it you wished to speak of?"
"Well, there's the fact that you haven't grilled me to death about this the way you tortured me about Sidonis. Isn't that a little weird?"
"Morinth was a criminal, and Samara lives by a brutal code."
"Yeah, but you're not going to tell me I did the wrong thing when I helped Samara? She lived for her own version of…"
"It cannot truly be called vengeance. She believed she wronged her daughter."
"True, but she lived and trained only to kill. Hundreds of years, querido. Farther back than I can trace my own ancestors. That's a little odd."
"Morinth enjoyed committing centuries worth of murders, Siha. Removing her from the galaxy rendered it a bit brighter."
"So the enjoyment made killing her a good thing? She was born that way."
"Merely eliminating a murderer would not cause you so much distress. What truly bothers you, Siha?"
"I just… I don't know. Maybe it's a human thing and I'm being a damned racist again, but killing your own child? I've never given birth, but after seeing you and your love for Kolyat, I thought that a parent's love for a child meant that they'd sacrifice anything for that child, and that this kind of love was something that transcended every species' differences. There wasn't any love in Samara's actions. None."
"Perhaps things are different when one lives a thousand years. I do not question Samara's need to atone for her 'mistake,' nor do I question the need to destroy a serial killer who has left centuries' worth of victims in her wake."
"But you get where I'm coming from, right?"
"What happened when you departed with Samara?" A quick wave, a small smile, and a drell heart stops beating when the club door opens. She will be fine, he tells himself. Samara can watch over her in your stead.
"Ugliness. The things Samara said… How could any parent say what she did? My parents died to save me… I…"
"Tell me what she said."
"No one should hear those things. No one. Not a murderer. Not a slaver. And something she told me after… The cost to destroy Morinth was too high…"
A pause. A deep breath, and his heart beat once more when she spoke again.
"Morinth said, 'Mother.' Samara denied her. 'Don't call me that.' 'I can't choose not to be your daughter…' There was so much slamming, so many biotic fields flying as they threw each other all over the room. And then Samara said, 'You are a disease to be purged, nothing more.' Not a person, not a daughter… A damnable disease that she inherited through some cruel fluke of fate or God fucking with her. They locked together, and neither could destroy the other. I yanked Morinth's arm to break her field, and Samara blew her to nothingness… You saw what she did to that merc on Illium. I had to see her do that to her own daughter who looked just like her, and her last words as Morinth died were only, 'Find peace in the embrace of the goddess.' Not, 'I'm sorry.' Or, 'I love you.'"
"Perhaps she grieves in her own way."
"You're making excuses for that? Samara claimed to be filled with regret, but after that… I don't think I can believe it."
"It cannot be easy, even for a woman who hunted for centuries. If Kolyat hadn't survived…"
She squeezed his hand.
"Human parents must be different. I've read some crazy stories about parents hiding their murdering children from the authorities. Even the most law-minded parents won't do much more than let the cops chase their kids down. I guess I just don't get the asari."
"The perspective of centuries of experience must alter one's actions and one's reactions. Is there a species that understands such beings? Even the krogan do not."
"And that makes what she said ok? I really don't know if I did the right thing helping her. I shouldn't have been in the middle of that fight at all. They should have just ripped each other to pieces, and to hell with having either of them on the team!"
"I know you truly don't mean that, Siha."
"Maybe, maybe not. I don't know myself. Samara killed an entire town while she was hunting Morinth. A town. Gone. And Morinth still escaped. No cop would do that. The hunt just escalated the galaxy's death toll. Was it really worth that?"
"I do not know."
"Yeah, me either. If I'd known that up front, I'd have booted Samara off the ship and let her seek out Morinth on her lonesome."
"And leave her to exterminate more towns?"
She grinned, and he thanked the gods she'd heard the trace of humor in his voice.
"Is this why you waited so long to aid Samara?"
"Well, I didn't know about the town-killing until a few minutes ago… But, yeah. I think so."
"I sense there are other reasons."
"Well, a few. But you wouldn't like them. And if we'd been faster, Diana's daughter would probably still be alive."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Let's see—I had a chance to save a son, a chance to rescue a sister, and, hell, give Garrus some well-deserved peace. All of those are a little more palatable than helping someone kill her daughter."
"Save a son… Is there a reason you rushed so quickly to Kolyat's aid?"
"You really can't guess?"
"Siha, an innocent likely died on my behalf."
"I told you that you wouldn't like the reason. But I'll take saving anyone's son any day over helping a mother kill her kid."
"Is this reason the same that has kept you from aiding Taylor?"
"Remember, I never said anything." A wink. "Aiea's far away. A fuel tank's distance, and credits are pretty low. Besides, it's been ten years—what's a few more days?"
"I almost feel sorry for Taylor, Siha. What is it about Samara that bothers you?"
"She claims to regret killing her daughter. She claims to have been proud of Morinth's precociousness, even though she killed her for it. She trained for a long time, in one of the most brutal ways possible, to personally kill her daughter. She's destroyed countless others—innocents she's sworn to protect—on her quest to kill her own kid. If she'd just left Morinth alone, wouldn't the cumulative death total been lower?"
"We risk all to destroy the Collectors, Siha. The greater goal is the one that matters."
"Is it? The Collectors are trying to destroy an entire species, and the Reapers are trying to end all organic life. Morinth's killings weren't even close to that level of destruction, and the collateral damage would have been lower if she'd just been left alone."
"But you do not regret Sidonis' death."
"I don't really regret Morinth's either. It's not like the galaxy has lost another Picasso or Hobbes or something. But, still…"
He waited, and the silence stretched out until it filled Life Support in a choking blanket. He knew she would speak of what truly bothered her soon.
"How do you kill your child with the same brutality you'd use with a stranger? How do you let her die without trying to reassure her, or without at least telling her you love her? Because I know she does, somewhere deep down. Didn't she owe Morinth that?"
"I… I do not know. I could never have killed Kolyat, even if he'd held the entire Citadel hostage."
"That's what I mean. Not very many human parents could either. And I know most asari aren't much different. Liara was with me when Wrex and I took down Matriarch Benezia and she died telling Liara how proud she was of her. What are we dealing with when we deal with her?"
"She regrets much, that much is clear from what little I've spoken to her. She blames herself for much that is not truly of her own doing. She has sacrificed centuries of her life in atonement for things not of her own doing, but of her very being. I cannot agree with the way she has carried herself, nor can I blame her for it. I understand the need for atonement perhaps too well."
"Yeah, I know. Maybe I'm just nitpicking. Samara's part of the crew, and she's probably more trustworthy than Cerberus' people. No one would blame her for what she considers her responsibility. I don't. But, God, Morinth had such a shitty death. Say what you will about Sidonis, Garrus at least killed him quickly and without much fuss."
"Perhaps it is better that I wasn't there."
"You have distance, querido. I have none after being a part of it."
"I'm sorry, Siha. I have no comfort to offer you or advice to aid you."
"You already have. At least I know why it's bugging me so much."
"You seem much more your normal color now. You should not match my shade; that color doesn't seem to be healthy for humans."
He seldom heard her rich laugh, but when he did, it warmed him far more than the hottest sun.
"Thanks for everything."
"You've saved my soul, Siha. You've made me Whole once more, and you saved Kolyat. An ear is the least I can give you."
She seemed to have no words for that, but the soft caress of her second finger against his thumb and her smile said, You don't have to thank me for anything. But he did.