We both knew this wouldn't work.

It wouldn't be easy for us at all.

Love isn't suppose to be this hard is it?

What happened to it being all rainbows and butterflies?

Did all that have to die?

Maybe I don't deserve love at all. I'm better off being a slut and nothing more. What I should do is go back to my original lifestyle. Nah. Fuck it. Nothing seems to work for me. What purpose do you have if your constantly judged and every move you make is a mistake? Maybe I'm not making an effort to change who I am. I change my clothes but does that change who I really am? My hands are far from bloody but I can still see drips of red of my past mistakes on my hands. Am I broken? No, I'm not a mirror. I can't be shattered and replaced. Right?

If everything I did felt so wrong does that mean I can't do good anymore? Guess so. I've changed I guess. I admit I like the changes. Well the good changes anyway. I couldn't stand my school uniform anyway. Who knows? Maybe it's an improvement. I wonder what Gaara will think of my new look. That is if I ever see him again. Correction. That is if I don't fuck anything else up. Oh well. Aleast I can do is try. If it wont work between us,then we'll make it work. I'll make it work, Gaara probably wants someone like Hinata. Quiet. Smart. Innocent. No stupid mistakes. Yeah. He deserves someone like that. Ugh. I have to make up my mind sometime. Fine. If it doesn't work, I'll find someone else. Why force someone to love me? Not that I really deserve it but still.

"Get up."

All I'm saying is that-

"I said get up."

if you love someone-

"Yamanaka get up!"

you shouldn't force them to anything they don't want.

"Ino!"

My body jolted upward,waking me up. "What? What's going on?" I asked, stroking a hand through my hair. My hair was down. What the fuck? Forget it. More importantly,where was I? "Come on, we're going to school." Wait. What? School? You've got to be kidding. I'm injured, I shouldn't be- well never mind. I frowned, glaring at the person. "Why? I missed so much work, I have no reason to attend that shithole." Gaara turned to me, sighing. "Make it up. Get over it, we're going." I stared up at Gaara, my mouth slightly open, I nodded. "Good now that you understand, move we're leaving now."

I untangled my body from the blankets on Gaara's bed, unable to not find a brush I ran my hands through my hair. I looked around for a vanity or mirror, anything to view how I looked. Shit. I'm going to look like shit. "Relax,you look fine." I shook my head, sighing. "No,I look like complete shit." Great. Can't wait to go to school and get judged even more. "I just don't to be judged anymore, I want to be myself and it doesn't even matter because I'm going to be treated the same either way." I lightly crossed my arms, staring at the wooden floor." Then be yourself, fuck everyone else." What? What the hell is Gaara saying? "If they don't appreciate you being yourself instead of a just a fake then why even care what they think of you?" Whatever. He's just saying that because nobody judges him or they're killed. Tch. He doesn't know what it's like. For me, I can't ignore that shit. Words are mightier than the sword. Although you can feel the dagger either way. Striking your heart and then a twist with each bitter word spoken. I can't always hide from everything though. I don't always want to be protected. I have to stand up for myself sometime,t oday could just be my lucky day.

"Yeah, whatever let's go."

I said, getting up from the bed. Slipping on my ninja shoes, I ran down the stairs to the dining room. "My, you're suddenly in a hurry why is that? egar to catch up on your schoolwork maybe?" Gaara chuckled, coming down the stairs with his hands in his pockets. "No way." I replied, watching him my arms crossed. "I thought so but there must be some reason for such a rush." Gaara's voice sounded curious? I wonder. "Well you rushed me out of bed so there must be reason you wanted us to leave so badly." I said, turning the tables."Maybe so we wouldn't be late for school, did you ever think of that Ino?" Damnit. Guess not. Eh. Whatever, not like school mattered anyway.

I was just happy to see Gaara again.

I was beginning to lose faith.

Nah.

I had lost all faith and hope of seeing him a long time ago but still you can't complain if you still get what you want now can you?

"Yeah, Well let's just go already okay?" I said, running past the living room to the apartment door. Opening the door I took a deep breath of the polluted air. "Freedom at last." I said, sighing with relief. "You really shouldn't do that, this air wont help your lungs at all." Gaara spoke, lightly shoving me through the door. "Yeah well my lungs are shit anyway what else could it do to me?" I asked, slowly making my way into the sandy street. "Kill you." Gaara said simply. I snorted, "What else do I have to live for?" I asked, looking to Gaara to answer. Maybe he'll say something. Like Me, I need you remember, Without you what do I have to live for? I love you Ino-chan. I mentally slapped myself. Yeah right. Scratch that idea out. Gaara wouldn't tell me he loved me, even if he was dying right in the middle of the road. Hm. Now that I think about it. "Ino, everyone is created for a reason. Which means everyone has a purpose so you included have something to live for." Okay. Well he could give a smart answer. Damnit.

"Oh, thanks Gaara. I feel special now."

I said, looking to the houses and shops that didn't face near Gaara. Well so much for him caring. Stupid. This was my fault fucking asking him if I mattered. Damnit. "Besides we're friends right?"

Gaara sighed, "If you died, I wouldn't have a friend so I guess you matter to me."

My view snapped back to Gaara. "Really? I matter that much to you Gaara?" I said excited, taking his hand in mine, shaking his arm. "Well...I guess so..." Gaara said softly, looking from our hands to me. This was it. My chance to show the true Ino. I wasn't going to hide my feelings. I grinned as I saw some pink on Gaara's cheeks. "You matter to me to Gaara...want me to prove it?" I asked, feeling blood rush to my face as well. Gaara didn't answer, I didn't need to hear a word. I stood on my tip toes, closing my eyes, I kissed Gaara's cheek. I had nothing to fear. It was like kissing stone, no movement. Nothing. I liked the new Ino. Except nothing was new about her. This was me. The Ino that I locked inside for so long, and I regretted ever doing so. I needed her, wanted to find here she is, everything would go right. I looked at Gaara once the kiss was done. He still said nothing. "Well then come on Gaara, it's a beautiful day to be locked indoors. Let's hurry before we're late for school!" I said, holding Gaara's hand, I ran down the sandy streets pulling Gaara with me. Everybody wants to be loved, right? I wonder. Is it possible to fall in love by accident? Nah. What if Neji Hyuuga's words are true? Maybe falling in love with Gaara was right.

"Come on Gaara, use your legs! With me dragging your lazy ass, we're defiantly going to be late for class. Since I'm so weak." I laughed at my own joke since I knew Gaara wouldn't. He's never any fun really. I think his sense of humor was taken away or maybe in his village it's a crime to smile once and awhile. "Yeah...yeah sure..." Gaara breathed, finally catching up to speed with me, his hand squeezed mine tightly. Soon we were running. Together. It was like my dreams, finally coming true. Finally we had arrived at school. Nearly kicking the front doors open, we entered the school.

"I'm so ready for this."

I shouted, raising a strong arm. "To make another scene?" Gaara asked grimly, a not so curious eyebrow raised. I grinned, "Nope, today's the day that Kohana High sees the real me. The real Ino Yamanaka and know that the other girl was just scared of showing who she really was." I said, my voice full of hope and slight confidence. I only wish I could speak those words to the entire student body without faking it. "Besides the best part is that you'll be right by my side when I do, right?" I asked, turning back to Gaara. Gaara's hand slipped out of mine. "No." I blinked, clearly I heard wrong. "Um, No?" I asked again. Gaara sighed, tucking his hands back in his pockets, he looked to the lockers that surrounded us. "I think you need to handle this by yourself besides I'm busy today." I resisted the urge to yell but failed miserably.

"What do you mean you're busy today? What the hell are doing?" I yelled as the first period bell rang. Gaara touched his forehead, shaking his head. "Never mind it, just go to class." Gaara turned from me, walking back toward the school doors. I growled to myself and dragged my ass to my first hour. I opened the door to room 112. "Good morning Iruka-sensei." I mumbled bitterly, walking with my back hunched to the back row of chairs. "Good morning, Ino-chan? You're out of the hospital so soon?" My math teacher asked, his eyes wide. Iruka sensei used to be the elementary teacher but had gotten a promotion since Asuma quit. Iruka had no choice but to accept the job, it's not like it was any different though. There were still plenty of lowlife idiots in our school. Like for instant, Naruto and myself. Haha. I just so happen to name that off the top of my head. "Yeah what of it?" I said, sitting in my seat and folding my arms only to slam my head down. "I was just surprised to see my top student back, it's been slow without you." Iruka's soft voice spoke, as I could heard papers being shuffled. Excuse me? Oh yeah. My "perfect record". I almost forgot about all that shit. Oh God, My homework. Naruto you idiot. Ugh, No.

You forgot to do it, Ino Baka.

Damnit.

"Yeah, I would have gotten a doctor's note but I didn't think it would really matter." I sighed, closing my eyes. "Oh, There's no need for that as long as my favorite student is back and ready to learn." Iruka laughed, I only rolled my eyes. "Iruka-sensei!" An annoying voice yelled. Oh Yippee. Naruto's here. "Along with my other favorite student." Iruka said, I lifted my head to watch Naruto attack him in a hug. I never really understood how Naruto could be so happy when he's lived alone ever since he was born. Parents died. No relatives. The hokage almost put him in an orphanage but Naruto decided against it. Telling Tsunade that he could handle himself and here he was. "Hey Ino-chan! Woah, I like your new look what happened to your uniform?" Naruto asked, sliding into the row in front me, he turned to face me.

"I just wanted to be myself today." I told him, blowing my tiny fringe from my eye. I rested my head back on my arms, looking out the window that was to my side. It was until the second bell rang that all the students came to class it was then that Iruka began to check attendance. "Sakura Haruno? No? Hm...she never misses class." Iruka mumbled, scratching something out on his clipboard. "Ino Yamanka?" I silently raised my arm, and looked down to Naruto. "Why isn't Sakura here?" I whispered. Naruto looked back to me, "I dunno, I have only seen her when she told me she was going to see you that one day while you were still in the hospital."

Shit.

In my mind I could see what had happened. Sakura was caught, forced to stay at the hospital while the doctors called her parents. Then she would be grounded for life, and her parents would keep her from her future. Sakura always liked to learn, no matter what the subject was about. I on the other hand, would rather stab myself with my pencil instead of do any kind of learning. Although my previous self would smile and get good grades. Why? Well you can do anything when your not yourself. You can hide so many secrets and tell so many lies that you could trick almost anyone. Well except yourself of course. I groaned, slamming my head back on my arms. God, Now I fucked up someone else's life too. Yay. Two for one fuck up. Damnit. Oh well, she'll get through it.

"Karin?" Iruka-sensei called out. Karin. My rival to be the school slut. She was a nobody like me passing by being fake and innocent. I didn't care about my title now so I guess I'll have to tip my hat off to her. Bottom line is she's nothing but a whore. A whore who has tried to sleep with all the emo heartbreaks of this shitty high school. "She's skipping, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto yelled out. Not surprising. Well not Naruto yelling, he's just an idiot. What wasn't a shocker was Karin. Skipping. Probably giving head to the perverted janitor. I snickered at the thought. Karin. A freshman like the rest of us. A girl who likes to color her hair a little too much. Wear glasses and likes to keep parts of her uniform open and unbuttoned. The old Ino was the new Karin. "Sasuke Uchiha?" Iruka called out next. Sasuke? I wouldn't expect him to show up to class so this day should be no except. "Hn." I looked up, seeing Mr. Perfect at the doorway. Well what do we have here? All eyes were on Sasuke. Well they always were but this time he had my attention. "Ah, Thank you for joining us Sasuke." Iruka smiled, scribbling on his clipboard. "Yeah, Whatever." Sasuke muttered, his hands tucked away in his pockets.

Loose black tie.

White shirt and black pants.

The normal boy uniform worn by the high school's heart breaker.

At this point I was wondering where he was going to sit. All the chairs were taken except for one. Lucky me. It was right next to me. "Ino Yamanaka." I looked to my side, Sasuke was staring me down. Can I help you Uchiha? I just nodded, standing up I let Sasuke into the row. I plopped back down into my seat, not letting Uchiha have my attention any longer. I wasn't going to let him fool around with me. If he tried to break my heart, I'd simply break his pretty face. I stared out the window, the image of Me punching Sasuke over and over again repeated in my mind. "You look different." I shook to my senses and nodded.

Do you like my new look?

"Just by your looks you seem like a different person." Yeah, I am. I changed myself to someone I wanted to be. It was like Sasuke and I were having a conversation, his words speaking to me. My thoughts replying back. "I've never noticed your long hair before." I should get it cut, it get's too long. It's always in the way, that's why I keep it in a ponytail. "It's cute." You think so? I hate it. "I think you'd looked better with it down." I sighed, pulling my ponytail out of my hair. There. Happy now? You got what you wanted. Sasuke chuckled, his eyes closed with his hands laced. "Well now, You didn't have to do that."

Whatever. Just let me get through this class.

"Hn." Sasuke's simple reply came. I went back to staring out the window hearing Iruka-sensei's lecture. "Now if the shinobi is standing five feet from the enemy's stand point which is seventeen point eight feet. Now If the shinobi throws the Shuriken slightly at an angle of..." I yawned silently, staring out at the twisted tree outside the window.

"Ino."

I blinked, seeing Gaara sitting on one of the tree's branches. Gaara stretched his hand out, putting it against the window. "Gaara?" I said aloud, lifting my head from the desk. The classroom went silent. All eyes on me, I slowly turned my head to the crowd. Then I looked to Uchiha. Help me out here. Sasuke just stared at me. I sighed, great. Now I made myself look like an idiot. Well again. Shit. What now? Come on new Ino, think. I frowned. "What? What's everyone staring at?" I asked, looking around the classroom. No answer. I rolled my eyes, "Hn Whatever."

I stared at the erase board at the front of the room, my hands laced in front of my face. Finally the akward silence was broken by the second period bell. Thank God. I waited until everyone left the room before I decided to slowly get up and leave the room. "Maybe they should have kept you at the hospital a bit more..." I heard Iruka-sensei mumbled as I reached the doorway. "Yeah, Maybe they should have." I answered back, leaving to go to my second hour. Which would be gym. With Gai-sensei. Lucky me. "Alright everyone, get changed and then ten laps around the track. After that thirty push ups!" Gai-sensei shouted, giving a reassuring smile and thumbs up. The cold morning air hit my body, I slightly shivered. I wasn't going to change, why torture my body more? I waited for my classmates to finish changing. My classmates consisted of Neji, Tenten, Lee, Sakura (sadly she's not here), Shino, Kiba and Choji. Such a wonderful and cheerful group. If only they would faint and never wake up. "Alright now that we're all changed,get in position!" Gai-sensei ordered, we took our rightful place on the track field.

Neji stared in first, following Tenten and then Lee. After Lee was Shino, Kiba and Choji. It would have been Sakura next leaving me to be last. See how confident my gym teacher is in me? Oh well. Might as well try. "Alright, Begin!" Gai-sensei yelled, blowing a whistle. Yay. Let the games begin. The motto of Kohana High is "Try hard even if you die, die in honor." Our motto is suppose to get us to follow the right path of a ninja even if we kill ourselves.

We are suppose to succeed.

Not fail.

Simple as that.

Well my brain cant handle such big words and information. Luckily words didn't matter at a time like this. Speed did. That I had. I sprinted off, breathing slowly to save energy. I easily passed Choji, seeing it as no challenge. My chicken legs seemed to finally be of use. Of course I would never expect to pass the fast kids. Neji may be a genius but that meant he couldn't be good at everything. Wrong. Lee was even faster. No looks but speed he had as well. Kiba's speed were not good as his words. "Why even try Yamanaka?" Kiba panted as I caught up with him. Ignore him. Resist the urge to jump and kick his ass right now. Stay calm.

"Coach even thinks your the weakest of our freshman even the weakest out of the school."

Now Kiba. Hm. Kiba is the school's bitch. Walking around bitching about the most pointless things. 'I hope we're not having riceballs again for lunch.' 'Tch. Did ya hear what Anko-sensei said about me? What a bitch, man.' Besides me, Kiba is the lowest of the low. Kiba Inuzuka is beneath my feet, I just have enough pity not to crush him into nothing. "Fuck off Kiba." I muttered, staring ahead. "You're nothing special either, so why don't you shut up and focus more on your actions instead of your insults." I pushed myself a little, passing Kiba slightly. "I may be alot of things but I don't see myself as weak, Kiba." I inched closer from Kiba and my position. "I'm not all what you think I am so fuck you." I said, racing up ahead. I didn't know what was running through me. My body had a limit but I didn't know when I would reach it. I just wanted to prove myself.

To show everyone that they were wrong. That I was the strongest of my entire class. I pumped my legs, breathing slowly then faster. Click, Click. My ninja shoes smacked against the concrete track. I raced past the brightly colored yellow line that showed that I had ran a full lap. One. Next was Shino .A student that really didn't care that much but knew his own strengths. I passed him with no words spoken. Now passing Lee might be a problem. Seeing as though he is the track captain and vice president (Sakura was president, go figure) of the Defense club. Meaning he has the strategy and speed. While I on the other hand have confidence and a bit of hope. Adding those things together in my mind, I could only come up with the notion that with my skills I had no chance in hell passing Rock Lee ever.

"Lee..." I panted, falling far behind my goal. "I'm pretty tired and I'd appreciate it if you could slow down a bit so I can conserve energy and try my best in this race."

Also unlike many people Lee is a gentleman. He respects girls more then any boy should or could ever try to. So he's just too easy to fool. I saw Lee look back at me, a gentle smile on my face. I saw slight color change on his face and soon his speed wasn't such a competition to me. "Hai, Ino-chan. This better?" Lee asked, right in my level. I grinned, "Much better, Gomen Lee-kun." I raced past my fuzzy browed freshman classmate and raced ahead to face Tenten. 'Oh, by the way Ino you're a bitch.' I haven't forgotten about you Tenten. My tiny mind can remember that information easily. I closed my eyes,hearing myself breathing fast. I canceled out my breathing to hear my uneven heartbeat. I opened my eyes, I wasn't going to last long. I was on my fifth lap. All I had to do was pass those two and get a good record time. Then maybe I would have a passing grade. Tenten seemed to be running hard, must be to impress Hyuuga boy. Hm. Poor Tenten, If you think I'm a bitch then you don't know the real Neji at all. Haha. Today Tenten's dream is crushed.

"Ya know, I heard Neji likes girls with long hair." I shouted to Tenten. "Maybe I can have a shot at him, ya think Tenten?" One way to hurt Tenten's speed was to aim for the heart. "After all I am at his level, he is popular after all he doesn't want simple plain girls." The arrow hit it's mark. Tenten's speed slowed as she spoke. "Looks don't matter that much." Tenten weakly mumbled. I grinned, "Yeah right, why would Neji want something like you?" Tenten fell back aways to my speed. "Well... because...Neji wants somebody not all class...a girl who's everything inside even if she is a bit pretty." I laughed, Tenten why are you so right? Why do I want to believe what you're saying? "You can't be serious about that inside bullshit." Tenten shook her head,"Well would you want to love someone fake? Someone who didn't care if you risked your life as long as you looked beautiful forever?"

How do you know me that well? Do you know what I've experienced?

I paused, well new Ino where's your snappy ass comeback now? "There is no such person who could love you as you are, stop living in a fantasy world Tenten. Your dream guy won't like you for who you are and neither will mine." I passed the finish line. Making second place. "Alright! Congradulations Ino, you've improved. I'd like to say-" I didn't care, I was already at the door that lead back to the locker room and out to the gym. I went into the cafeteria, going to the doors that lead back outside. There I went and sat at the school's fountain that was home to many tropical fish. I wasn't hungry to have lunch. I wasn't able to think or move to go to my third hour. Tenten's words spinned in my head. What does she know anyway? She's never been in love. I dipped my hand into the pond's cold water, swaying my hand through the water. She doesn't know the pain it costs to love someone. I sighed, Tenten didn't know shit.

Then I heard it. Giggling. I looked up, searching around to see what or who caused that annoying laughter. The laugh seemed to have came from the bleachers. I got up from my spot, edging through the large bushes that surrounded the track fied and bleachers. I found a couple kissing. Karin of course. The whore. But who was the boy? I squinted, peering closer to view. My eyes widened and my body reacted immediately. I raced back to the pond where I ran back to the cafeteria. Passing the loud crowd, I went far back into the school to the stairs, where the bathrooms were.

I kicked open one of the stalls, throwing my body onto the cool tiles. Tears causing me to cough on my breath. I now know why Karin had skipped class.

"Hehe Gaara-kun that tickles." I had now know why Gaara seemed so busy.

"Karin-chan shh don't be so loud."

I had now known that I had been a fool to believe I mattered at all to Gaara. Oh yeah. As a friend. Always and forever a friend. I didn't need his kisses, I didn't need his pity. I had myself. Only myself. I looked to see the empty toilet paper roll, finding a tiny sharp edge of steel. I pounded my fist, jiggling the piece so it would fall to the tile floor. I ripped the piece off, holding it to my neck. Gaara can't you see I need you, I can't handle myself. I love you! My hand shook as my neck raised up,feeling the cold steel against my throat. Could I do it? No. I was weak. I mean something, but what? I don't mean anything to you Gaara. I stared at a silver tile on the wall. Seeing myself, I glared at the wall, throwing the shard piece at the tile. "God Dammit! Why the fuck do I exist? Why am I here, don't I have a purpose?" I shouted, more tears spilled. From nobody answering me, apparently not. It seemed that Gaara was wrong all along. Maybe he just didn't have the heart to tell me so. I should have known this day would come.

Gaara would slip out of reach and fall into another's arms.

Just why did it have to be Karin.

A/n: Please Review.