Ara sat up on her bed…well her temporary bed. She was propped up on pillows, more than she could have ever dreamed of and had on clothes that were meant just for night. This bed was the most comfortable thing she had ever sat on, and this might have been the best day of her life. The only thing missing was Tave, but that was a missing piece she was going to have to learn to live with. There was no getting him back, just like the Doctor couldn't replace the ones he lost.
Even if they were in a time machine. He hadn't shared that bit with her, not on purpose, but she had seen. He needn't worry; she knew that they couldn't go back and save Tave. Sometimes in life, people were lost and you missed them like the earth misses the rain, but they were still going to be gone.
She still wished he could have seen this TARDIS, wished he could have swam in the pool. She wished, and even pretended, that he had shared that meal with them. The best food she had ever tasted followed by something called ice cream. Her hand was laid out on the bed beside her, as she had often done at night when she had felt too far from him. In those cases he would take hers into his, and whisper the night away, if it was safe to do so.
Right now though, and forever, she was never going to have it taken by him again. Would there be someone else some day? She couldn't say, but supposed it depended on what happened to her world. She was fighting sleep, too afraid she was already dreaming and if she closed her eyes she would wake up. The food was the right kind of heavy in her stomach, and her eyelids were drooping more and more.
She leaned back…she would just close them for a second. Then she would get up and walk around. Anything not to wake back up in the middle of a war…then again, if Tave was back, it was worth it.
She felt a hand slip into hers, and her fingers curled around it on reflex. She smiled in her sleep.
"Ara," Tave's voice melted over her. "Wake up, Ara."
She opened her eyes slowly, finding herself on her home planet. But it was quiet, so quiet, the two moons hanging beautifully in the air above them. She looked over at her best friend, the only man she had ever loved. He smiled that easy smile, which like him had always defied the horror of this life, of this world. His light eyes reflected the moons back out at her, and he held her hand tight.
"Tave," she whispered, barely daring to breathe.
He reached out with his free hand and touched her face. She could feel it, but she also knew that this was still a dream. She was no closer to him then she had been before she had fallen asleep. But here he was, and if she had her choice she would never wake. Not if it meant she and him could have forever.
"My Ara," he whispered back. He smiled wide and leaned forward touching his lips to hers.
It was brief, but it was as real as the bed beneath her sleeping body. She couldn't explain it, but it was warm and full of what could have been. When he pulled back there were tears in his eyes, and he wiped them away. The whole time he kept his one hand wrapped around hers, and if that was what was holding them in this special place.
She opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her. What could she say? Sorry I killed you…I love you…you were always the best thing that had ever happened to me.
"Lay down," he instructed, doing so himself.
She lay beside him, and for a long while they just stared up at the sky. It was a sky she had looked at often, while they planned the great adventures they would have if they ever escaped. Was this Tave really just in her mind? And if he wasn't, did he know he was dead.
"Yes," he said, from her side. "I know I'm dead…it's not so bad."
She rolled her head to look at him.
"How are you here, Tave?"
He looked over at her and said, "I should have kissed you a million times, Ara. I should have told you how much I loved you, how much I will always love you. I thought we had time, thought we would always have time."
It was a stupid idea, they both faced death everyday on this old planet. But she understood and it was the same reason she had never told him. Not because she really believed they had the luxury of time, but because if she had…he would have had to go on with the knowledge that he was loved if she was gone. They both knew it, she had never doubted what he felt for her, but words were powerful things.
"Can I stay?" Ara asked him softly.
He let out one of his softest laughs, and she knew that she would rather not exist in a place where she wasn't allowed to hear that.
"Ara," he said, rolling his head to look at the stars again. "If you could see what I can see…all the good that you have coming…you wouldn't want to stay here with me. At least not yet."
"What's left out there for me, Tave? All there is war, and trying to learn to live without you."
He moved closer to her, and looked her right in her eyes. "You are making new friends, and you have a trip to the Galactic Council to make. Soon there will be more than war in your world. Even new love, and when it comes, don't waste time worrying about what I would want. I want you happy. It's the thing I have always wanted."
"I'm scared," Ara whispered.
"But you have never let that stop you before," Tave whispered, rolling onto his side. "And I know you won't now. I love you Ara, and I'm never any farther away than your memories."
She nodded, rolling to look at him. "I'll miss you forever."
He kissed her lips again, letting it linger for a moment. Then he smiled that smile that said it was over and released her hand.
She sat straight up in bed and wiped the tears from her face. She would make Tave proud; she was going to ask to go to the Galactic Council.