What's up, readers? Ready for some more Insanity? I want to thank all of my new followers and those who favorited last time. Thanks! You guys are awesome. I was so happy to see more reviews for last chapter than the one before, so thanks for that too. It really gave me the boost I needed to finish up this chapter and get it posted so you guys can read :)
To my reviewers:
Jewels47 - Thank you! I always think big, strong guys with little kids are adorable! They look so manly but inside they're just fluffy balls of love. Embry truly wants to trust Paul with Shay, but he wants to make sure she's not going to get hurt, either emotionally or physically since Paul is so unpredictable. Hope you like this chapter :)
Guest (1) - Thank you! I appreciate your review :)
ThatDayDreamer-x - Thanks for your review. I'm very happy to hear I've drawn in a picky reader, especially because I know how that is! I am a picky reader too, and it's hard to find the time to read when you're trying to write, so thanks for sticking with this story :) Shay's mom is definitely a complicated person, and she makes things really hard for Shay, but Shay wouldn't be who she was if her mom didn't have D.I.D. I am glad you like LJ & the cousin bond between Embry & Shay.
Shadowsammy - I was busy for soo long, but now that my wedding is over and I moved to my new place, I should be updating regularly, especially this fic because it's one of my faves to write :) I am happy you love it and happy you favorited! I hope you like this chappie :)
Guest (2) - Thank you, glad you like! Hope you enjoy this update as much as the last :)
Laura - Thank you, hope this was fast enough :)
shayna . kasdan - Thanks, I'm glad you think it's awesome :) I can see why you're a little confused about that, but mostly (and this isn't giving anything away) Sam wants to make sure Paul isn't going to lose control and hurt Shay the way he accidentally hurt Emily, but since Shay doesn't know anything about their wolf secret yet, so when she finds out more, you readers will learn more about what happened the night of the football game and why Paul was ordered to stay away from Shay for a while. Hope that helps and you still stick around to see what happens next :)
DISCLAIM: I don't own Twilight.
Our Love Is Insanity
Chapter 10: Cause and Effect
"Use your mirrors, that's what they're there for."
"I am using the mirrors. I can't see, though."
"You're not using your mirrors. If you were, you'd be able to see everything behind you. Did you even –"
"Paul," I exclaim impatiently, gesturing to the useless mirrors in his Ford Bronco, "These stupid mirrors aren't showing me what's behind me! This one is aimed at the friggin' sky and this one here is looking at the treetops! The only one…" I trail off because he is laughing at me. "What are you laughing about? It's not funny!"
"It is funny," Paul insists, "because I told you to adjust the mirrors, but you didn't. No wonder you can't see; they're adjusted to my height. You're short."
"I'm not short," I state indignantly, "I'm five-foot-five. That's average. You are a freak."
Paul takes my teasing insult well. He ignores it. He tells me to adjust both side mirrors until I can see the road behind me and then explains where the lines on the road should be in the mirrors so that next time I can check before I start driving. I should have already known that, but I've never had to adjust the mirrors in Mom's car because we're practically the same height. Now that I can see behind me, it doesn't seem so intimidating to back into a parking space. That's why Paul and I are in the parking lot of La Push High today anyways; so that I can practice backing into a parking space somewhere that has no cars present. I follow his step-by-step instructions and successfully reverse the truck into the space, between the lines.
"Nice," Paul compliments. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
When he offered to take me driving, I thought he was kidding, or at least only saying so because he was really desperate to talk to me. Turns out, he was completely serious, and yesterday while we were eating ice cream with LJ, he asked me again if he could take me out to practice driving. I said yes. I figure, if Mom isn't going to take me and Paul actually wants to, why not? At least now I'll actually get a chance to practice. Maybe I still can get my license before my seventeenth birthday.
"No," I reply, "It wasn't, but that was with you telling me exactly what to do. And with no other cars around. What if I back into someone else's car?"
"You still need to practice," Paul explains, "but you'll get it. You won't hit someone else's car. I'll show you how to judge the distance between your car and the one next to you or in front of you. Once you catch on, it will be really easy. Now that you're properly using your mirrors…"
"Shut up," I ball up my right hand into a fist and aim for his shoulder, but he easily catches my hand before it collides with him and holds it still inside his.
"…you'll be driving like a pro in no time."
He allows me to have my hand back, and I use it to reach for the gear stick and put the truck in park. I sigh as I list off the things I still need to learn before I'm able to try for my license, "I still need to practice parallel parking, and I've never driven on the highway before – it seems kind of scary – plus, I have barely looked at the rule book since August. I really want to get my license before my birthday, but I doubt I'll pass."
"You'll pass," Paul assures me. "I told you, you got this. I'll take you out whenever you want to practice. Bring your study book next time and we can go over that too. It wasn't that long ago when I got my license, Shay. Let me help you."
I'd like to stubbornly tell him that I don't want help because I want to do it all by myself, but that's unrealistic. Also, as surprising as it is and as much as I've been complaining, I've actually enjoyed driving with Paul. It isn't going to kill me to let him help me. Besides, Mom is never going to bring me every Sunday like she promised, so I should take advantage of the situation I've found myself in. Paul will do whatever as long as he's spending time with me. I don't know what stemmed his new found feelings for me, but I'm not complaining…yet. I've been enjoying his company. He's been making it really hard for me to remember why I didn't like him in the first place, but then I think back and recall and it stings. I forgave him for the past, I'm trying to move on, but I still haven't forgotten.
"I am letting you help," I point out, "I'm here, aren't I? If you really don't mind, then we can do this again…maybe next Sunday? Or sooner, I mean, if you're not busy."
"I can do next Sunday," Paul says with a shrug, "Or whenever."
"Why are you never busy?" I suddenly ask him, taking my eyes off the road for only a moment to send him a questioning glance, "I mean, what do you do? You must do something other than just hang around my loser cousin, Sam Uley and Jared Cameron."
Ignoring my question, Paul jokes, "Oh, I am so telling Embry you called him a loser."
"Ha-ha," I roll my eyes, "but seriously...what's the deal with you guys? Why does Embry always sneak off? I know it's to see you guys because he never has a good excuse, and he just expects me to lie for him and keep his secret when I don't even know what it is. His mom is seriously sick of it. He's like eternally grounded, not that he listens."
"How should I know why Embry does the stupid shit he does?" Paul returns somewhat defensively, "It's not on my orders."
"See? Like that," I point out, "What the hell is that supposed to mean? I never asked who ordered him to do it, but the way that you say that makes it seem like someone did."
"No," Paul argues, "That's not what I meant at all. I just mean what Embry does is his business and I don't want to say something I shouldn't."
I frown at him, feeling a little hurt and left out of whatever this is, "So there is some big secret then. I mean, you can deny it all you want, Paul, but I know something is going on."
"I think you're just looking for an excuse to be mad at me," Paul theorizes, "because for some reason you love to hate me."
He's deflecting. He's doing exactly what Embry does. He's turning the whole thing around on me, like I'm causing these problems and making shit up. Well I'm not! "I know something's going on," I insist, "but I'm not trying to argue with you about it. I just want to know. Obviously you're not going to tell me, for whatever your reason may be, but you can tell me. I know how to keep a secret."
For a moment I'm hopeful because he looks like he just might..."There's no secret," he says, looking a bit queasy.
Ugh! Why didn't he tell me?! I know he wants to!
"Fine," I drop the subject. There's no point in pressing him on the issue if he's not going to budge. Besides, we're almost home and I've got other things to worry about. "Well, thanks for this. I appreciate it. Now I have to go finish my homework, so I guess I'll see you…whenever I see you."
All week long, I ride my bike to school in the morning and then when I get out in the afternoon Paul is waiting for me in his truck, and he lets me drive home to practice. He says the more often I drive the more comfortable I'll be behind the wheel. He even promises to bring me to the highway soon to conquer my fear, since eventually I'll need to be able to drive on the highway if I ever want to leave Forks and the surrounding area. I warn him that if he keeps this up I might get used to it and then he'll be in trouble when I expect a ride everyday but he can't make it. He replies that it was already his plan to keep on coming until I tell him to stop. He sure knows how to make a girl swoon.
He still won't tell me about Sam and their secret gang. I've finally decided to stop asking. Well, okay truthfully, Paul asked me to stop. He said, and I quote, "Please don't ask me to tell you about that, Shay. It's the only thing I can't do for you. I want to tell you, and I will, but until I do I need you to stop asking." I think I'm even more curious now that he's made it a forbidden topic. What could they be doing that needs to be kept so tightly under lock and key? It can't be anything good…But since I'm not allowed to talk about it with Paul anymore, and Embry isn't giving anything away, I guess I'll just have to launch my own little investigation.
On Friday, Kate convinces me to let her sleep over since Derek has been an ass to her all week, and she got a ride to school with Josh which means her car is at home, so it is definitely a relief to see Paul's blue truck waiting for me in the parking lot at the end of the day. When I told her she could come home with me, I wasn't really thinking about how Paul might feel. I was just thinking about Kate being given the cold shoulder from her brother basically because of me. He has the room in his truck though, and we're still going to the same place, so it shouldn't be a big deal. Then again, Paul is unpredictable.
"Hey," Paul greets me with that dreamy sideways smile that makes my heart race. He always looks so happy to see me. It's almost like, to him, so much time has passed since we last saw each other, so much that he thought maybe he wouldn't see me again, because that is how happy and relieved he looks when I climb into his truck at the end of each day. It's funny, because it's only been a day since I last saw him, but I kind of like how happy I seem to make him. It makes me feel kind of special…wanted. It's a good feeling.
"Hi," I smile shyly, feeling a bit embarrassed over my obsessively girly thoughts, not that Paul or Kate heard them, thank God. If Paul knew how crazy he was starting to make me, I'm sure his ego would swell to new heights. "Do you mind if Kate comes with us? She's staying over my house tonight."
The moment I say the words out loud, I realize my catastrophic mistake. Did I really forget that sleepovers are not something that happen at the Branford house? What the fuck was I thinking? Have I lost my mind? I haven't told Kate yet about Mom's D.I.D. I was waiting for – I don't know… - never to come for that to happen. Okay, so that's not true, I was planning on telling Kate about Mom, just not right now and not like this. I was hoping to give her a much bigger warning before possibly encountering an alter-personality in my home. I was going to wait until Christmas break to tell her, so that she could have the vacation to let it all sink in and decide if she can handle it. I really messed up big-time.
"I don't mind," Paul agrees, telling the blond to, "Hop in, Kate." Then he asks, "Are you driving or…"
"What?" Kate pauses in getting into the back seat of the Bronco and screeches, "No way! She doesn't have her license and she crashed into a deer last month! She'll kill us!" She takes a breath and says much calmer, "I thought you picked her up from that wreck? Didn't you see the damage? Are you crazy?"
"That wasn't Shay's fault," Paul defends me, but I reach out and touch his big, hard bicep before he can tell her why it's not my fault. After all, he knows the true story and Kate only knows the lie.
"No," I joke lightly, "It was the deer's fault, but he died, so it seems unfair to blame him. You can drive, Paul. I'll probably be distracted with Kate here anyways."
"OK…" Paul agrees, despite looking a bit bewildered.
"Good," Kate sighs happily as she plants her butt in the center of the back seat and leans forward across the space separating her from us to speak to Paul and I. "So, Paul, Shay told you about the Halloween party my brother and I are throwing next Saturday, right?"
"Uh, yeah," Paul confirms, "She mentioned it."
"And?" Kate prompts hopefully, "Are you going to come? Embry's invited too. And if there's anyone else looking for an awesome Halloween party, tell them about ours. It's going to be epic." Kate says that about all her and Derek's parties.
Paul glances over at me before replying to Kate, "I'll…think about it."
"Come on," Kate says temptingly, "It's going to be a really good time! We'll have music and dancing, cool costumes, an awesome laser light show in the living room, and the whole house is going to be decorated like the House of 1,000 Corpses! If that's not enough, we have enough candy to feed a thousand fatty-fat kids, and by Friday we'll have as much alcohol as candy. Plus, we're having a costume contest and the winner gets a special prize! I'm going as a zombie cheerleader, and Shay's gonna be…What did you decide again?" Kate taps me on the shoulder.
"Little Red Riding Hood," I answer with a shrug. Paul sends a strange look in my direction, but when I meet his gaze he frowns and returns his eyes to Kate.
"Yeah, she's going to be a sexy Lil' Red, so," Kate says decidedly, "You have to come."
"Kate," I beg her to, "Stop harassing him about it. He doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to."
"No, I want to go," Paul concludes, "I'll be there."
"Great," Kate grins, "I can't wait!"
I turn in my seat to look back at her, questioning, "Is it really going to be okay? I mean, Derek hasn't talked to me all week. What if he doesn't want me there?"
"Are you kidding?" Kate grabs my face with both her hands and squishes my cheeks together. She tells me, "You are my friend, Shailene Call, and I don't give a fuck what Derek wants. He doesn't get to decide if you're invited or not; I do, and you are coming, and you will have a good time!"
"Okay, okay," I say, taking my face back.
Changing topics quickly, Kate pokes Paul on the shoulder, "What are you and Embry doing tonight?" She looks at me and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. I don't believe her boldness.
Paul seems hesitant to respond, and I bet it has to do with Sam and their secret cult. "We have this thing at a friend's house. We'll probably be there until eleven, at least, so…"
"Cool. You should call us after," Kate suggests, snapping the gum she's chewing against her teeth. "We'll still be awake for hours."
"Are you sure?" Paul asks Kate while looking at me. "Don't you have to watch LJ tomorrow?"
I do have to watch LJ. I watch him every Saturday from the time he wakes up to three or four in the afternoon, depending on who gets out of work first. Mom has work on Saturdays and Denae has her early morning, three-hour nursing class followed by a shift at the souvenir shop. I usually try to get to bed between ten and eleven on Fridays, so that I'm not too tired to play with my nephew. Tonight, I'll have to make an exception since Kate will be over. I guess I can always make up the hours of sleep I lose tonight tomorrow night, if there's even such a thing as making up lost sleep.
"Yeah," I shrug, unsure of Kate's plans but not wanting to rain on her parade, "but it's okay." I don't know why Kate wants Paul and Embry to call so late. They'll probably be tired, I know I will be, and besides it's not like there's anything we can do. This is La Push, not Los Angeles. Literally nothing in town stays open past ten.
"OK…" Paul says skeptically, looking confused for the second time this afternoon.
At that exact moment, I get a text from Kate boasting: Yess! I hope you don't mind, but I'm making out with your cousin later! ;)
I turn and glare at her from the front seat. "Kate," I begin to warn her, but Paul interrupts.
"Tell me you did not just text her from the back seat," Paul says incredulously. "Oh, I see," He guesses, "You like Embry."
"I do not," Kate scoffs, "I just like his sexy body. And his hair. And his lips."
"Ew, that's my cousin," I complain.
"So?" Kate teases, "I'm not telling you to kiss him." She sends me a pointed look and I drop the subject. I really can't complain. It was just a week ago that her brother was trying to gain my affections. She might not have approved, but she was tolerant of Derek flirting with me. I think I can put up with her attraction for Embry. Besides, I haven't mentioned it to her, but he didn't seem to share her interest. He spent so much time complaining about how Paul and I left him alone with her, I got the distinct feeling he didn't want to see her again. I don't know why though; Kate's gorgeous, and Embry should be happy to have her attention.
"Whatever," I say in a lighter, care-free tone, "Embry is a big boy. He can make his own choices. I don't care."
Kate sits back in her seat and smiles confidently.
Now normally, I have Paul drop me off at the street corner instead of pulling into the driveway. There are a number of reasons why: Fee always seems to make an appearance when Mom sees Paul or hears him mentioned, or else it is Mom asking me a million questions about if I like Paul and are we dating and would I tell her if we were, and then there's the fact that Fridays are Denae's day off from both school and work, so she's generally home. All of those reasons, and possibly more if I sat down real hard to think about it. But today, since Kate is with me and I don't want her to be suspicious, I tell Paul to pull up in front of the house. Kate thanks him for the ride as she climbs out of the back, reminding him once more of her Halloween party next week, and soliciting him to invite some friends, preferably 'hot ones'. I unbuckle and slide across the bench seat so that I'm close enough to give him a one-armed hug and a personal thank you for not giving up Mom's secret or telling Kate that I never hit a deer. He's been pretty great this past week. I hope things stay this good for a while.
Before I make a grab at the door handle, Paul asks, "You haven't told Kate yet about your mom and the alters?" I bite my lip and shake my head guiltily. "Why not?"
I can't meet his eyes, so I stare out the window past his head, where I see Kate being welcomed inside by my mom. "I…don't want to scare her off. Kate is a really good friend. I've never had a friend like her before." And what I mean by that is I've never really had a best friend, not since before moving to Washington from Nebraska. "She's fun and she thinks I'm fun. I just don't want her to decide I'm too weird…or whatever." He should know what I mean. He's one of the kids who found out Mom's secret and teased me about it endlessly. He was friends with all the other kids who also thought it was fun to tease me about my freak show of a mother, and that is their word, not mine.
Similar to what Kate did on the ride over here, only much different because there was absolutely no sexual tension when it was her and not him, Paul cups my chin with one hand and tilts my head in his direction. "You are not weird. Shay, you're amazing. You're independent, you take care of your whole family, and you don't ever ask for anything in return. You're smart and funny and beautiful. And I'm not the only one who things that." He hints at Derek without saying his name, and the only reason I assume that's who he meant is because that vein in his neck always bulges when Derek is brought up. "Kate cares about you. Your friendship means something to her, I can see that much. So tell her. She'll understand."
I've never wanted to be kissed more in my entire life than I do right now. Oh my lord, he is so sexy. Why? How? Those eyes! Deep, dark pools of midnight with sparks of gray like the twinkling stars in the night sky. Fuck! What is he doing to me? I sound like Shakespeare! But then, out of the corner of my eye, I see Kate waving frantically from the doorway. That can't be anything good.
"It might be too late for that," I groan, gesturing to the house as I slide to the door and pop it open. "That's the universal sign for 'crazy shit is happening; help me!' I gotta go."
As I jump out and swing the door shut, Paul turns off the ignition and pockets his keys, offering, "I'll come with you."
When we get inside, the first thing that happens is Kate latches onto my forearm, her blue eyes wide, and she screeches, "Gah! What the fuck is going on?!" The next thing that happens is I realize there are cookie trays and muffin tins and cake pans filled with desserts littering the kitchen table and all available counter space. It is a total nasal invasion of sweet, citrusy, nutty, and savory scents. Lastly, of course, I see Fee standing in the middle of it all, covered in flour and dressed like a Texas harlot in a mostly see-through teddy. I don't know how I didn't notice before, when I saw her open the door for Kate, that she was not properly dressed and her hair was blown out big, Texas style. Paul is a serious distraction.
"Well, well," Felicia says bitingly, "Look who's home. The other no-good, rotten, lying Call sister."
This day will forever be known from this point on as The Great Branford-Call Catastrophe of 2006. It could also be called 'Shit Meets Fan', 'Welcome to Hell', 'This Is Why God Invented Prescription Pills, To Prevent Shit Like This From Going Down', or even 'This Is All Denae's Fault', but honestly The Great Branford-Call Catastrophe of 2006 more accurately describes the seriousness of the whole ordeal. As much as I'd like to blame this all on Mom leaving the clinic in New York early, or choosing to forego medication simply to be clear-minded, or on Denae for all the secrets she's been keeping from us, I can't because I know I'm at fault too. I kept my own secrets and encouraged the lies. I knew how bad Mom was getting but I still refused to involve Denae or Aunt Tiff because I thought I could handle it alone. I couldn't, I can't, and I'm not going to do it anymore.
"Shay..." Paul waves a hand in front of my face, trying desperately to get my attention.
"Shh..." I hush him, grabbing his gigantic hand and holding it still as I murmur, "I need to think. I need to figure this out..."
After walking into a kitchen full of freshly baked goods and having insults thrown at me by Felicia, Mom briefly made an appearance, only long enough to tell me that she's sorry and she was wrong and she should never have asked me to keep her secret the way that she did. Then, Felicia was back, screaming and crying and carrying on like I've never seen her before. She was hysterical! I knew from past experience that baking is one of Fee's coping mechanisms, and she'll always whip up something sweet to eat when she's had a really bad day, so the amount of baked items in the kitchen, indicating many hours of hard work, should have tipped me off that something was seriously not right. I tried talking to Fee, calming her down, reassuring her that everything was going to be all right, but she didn't want to listen to me. She was momentarily distracted by Paul, especially when he started talking to her in a smooth, easy voice, but even he couldn't hold her attention. She spat at him and told him she knew about our secret romance. I didn't bother correcting her because she's fucking nuts! She pulled the sharpest carving knife from the knife block and aimed it at us defensively.
"Felicia," I'd begged her in a shaky voice, my eyes wide, "Please put the knife down. Please. You're going to hurt yourself."
Only it wasn't her that got hurt, it was me.
Felicia started screaming about Whitney and her rotten, ungrateful daughters - obviously, me being one of them - and how we selfishly put ourselves first over and over again and we give Whit no support. She said she was tired of being unappreciated, and she does so much for this family, that she's the glue holding our crappy popsicle stick home together but it's become too much for her to bear. She was getting so worked up, she scared Kate into a corner, and I had to ask Kate to wait upstairs in my room with the door locked until I calmed my mother down. I couldn't even believe it was happening, it was like my worst dream come true.
"Shay," Paul tries again to get my attention, "You need to let me -"
"Shh!" I hush him louder this time, putting my hand over his moving lips to muffle his words.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of Felicia screaming like a banshee without giving any indication of what had upset her so badly, the truth came out. The cause, the reason for this whole effect, the spark that turned into a burning flame was all Denae. I was called a no-good, rotten liar because Denae has been keeping a colossal secret: Not only has she been in contact with Dad via phone, but she's been seeing him in person for over a year! That's not even the worst part; she's been visiting Dad at least once a month, with LJ, at his new home in Seattle! Dad. Living in Seattle. Denae. Taking LJ to Seattle to see Dad. All of it! It's all been happening, behind our backs, since Mom and I left for New York. I couldn't believe it. I had to believe it though because there was no other explanation for Felicia's craziness. Ever since Dad left us, Fee has been the one to loathe him entirely. Brad hates Dad too, but Fee's hatred is tangible. It's no wonder she baked up a storm when she discovered what's been going on all this time without her knowledge. I'd feel betrayed too. I do feel betrayed.
"I'm angry too," I'd told her once she finally fessed up, "I...I didn't know. I would have told you. I mean, I knew that Denae was talking to Dad again because she told me a couple weeks ago. She said that Dad wanted to talk to me too -" Felicia's eyes were blazing with anger. "-but I told her no! I didn't want to talk to him. I'm still too angry! I'm still on your side!"
Very suddenly, and without warning, Felicia wailed, "Liar!" and lashed out at me with the hand still clutching the carving knife. I watched the tip of the blade catch my skin at the top of my forearm, very close to my elbow, and it traced a clean and concise line down my flesh all the way to my wrist. She cut me. It wasn't deep, but deep enough. I could see blood rising to the skin and spilling over before I even fully registered that she'd sliced my skin.
The next thing that happened is Paul grabbed Mom's body from behind and held her in a tight hold until she dropped the knife to the floor. He stooped to pick it up, his hands shaking and his breaths deep and heavy. He tossed the bloody knife into the sink. During that time, Mom transitioned from Felicia to Brad, who was just as heated. He sort of apologized for Felicia cutting me 'like Freddy Kreuger' but then added that I 'kind of deserved it for being such a cunt', so it wasn't really much of an apology. Brad curled Mom's hands into fists and tried to fight Paul, but I screamed at them both to knock it the fuck off.
"Nobody's punching anybody!" I yelled at them, feeling myself getting more light-headed by the minute, "Everyone just calm the fuck down and be quiet so I can think! I need to think. This is fucking bullshit! Why do I always have to deal with this shit?! God, why?!" My arm was splattering blood droplets all over the linoleum floor, but I couldn't stop the bleeding. I narrowed my eyes at Brad and directed my words towards Mom when I spewed, "You know what? Fuck you! I'm done with this! I can't take it anymore! I do so much, I try so hard, but it's never enough, is it?! You're just going to keep ruining my life because you don't know how to stop! All you can do is apologize and say you'll change, but nothing ever changes! You promised you wouldn't hurt me again. Look what you did!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, waving around my wounded arm. In a half-whisper, because I couldn't raise my voice anymore, I confessed, "I hate you."
Mom's face crumpled and she curled into herself, her arms wrapping around her shoulders and her chin tucked into her chest. Her body wracked with sobs and she ran for the door. Her hysterical cries reached my ears and it dawned on me that it wasn't Felicia or Brad or even Mom running away right now, it was Whiney! My throat swelled up with guilt and I attempted to call her back, but it was too late, she'd run out the door.
"Whiney!" I called, "Come back! I'm sorry!"
Then I sank to the floor, my knees pressed to my chest, and started to cry. And that's where I still am now, only Paul has sat down in front of me and pressured a kitchen towel to my arm to stop the bleeding. He's been trying to talk me into letting him drive me to the hospital, but I keep refusing. I can't leave. Mom could come back, and if she doesn't then I have to find her. It's all my fault she's sad and alone right now. I should never have said those awful things that I said, but in the moment that's how I felt and I wanted her to know. I wanted her to see that she's broken me. Now I want to take it all back.
"We have to find Mom," I finally say to Paul, removing my hand from his mouth. "She didn't mean what she did. We have to find her."
"We'll find her," Paul states in a sure voice, "I promise, but first we need to get you cleaned up. You need stitches."
I find myself nodding, "Ok. Fine. I need stitches. But we need to find Mom. Embry...he can help. He can look for her. Can you call him?"
"I'll call Embry when we get you to the hospital," Paul compromises. "Come on. Get up." He gently pulls me to my feet and presses his lips to my forehead before stating, "You're going to be okay." He leads me to the front door, calling up the stairs, "Kate! Let's go!"
"What?" Kate yells down the stairs, "We're leaving? Is it safe to come down?" She doesn't wait for an answer before thumping down the stairs and meeting us at the door.
"I'm so sorry!" I blurt out, "I should have warned you. I-I don't know why I didn't tell you. My mom is fucking crazy."
"You can say that again," Kate murmurs before reassuring me, "But that's totally not your fault. Oh my God! What happened? You're bleeding all over the place."
"She'll explain," Paul cuts in, "On the way to the hospital. Let's go."
Paul scoops me up and carries me to his truck, and I think, in my slightly cloudy, less-blood-than-usual brain, that I should probably tell him now that I like him too.
Please Review! I'd love to hear what you think and what you want to happen next. I know there was a lot of crazy in this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed! I will update again soon. I didn't have time to read-through a second time to double-check for typos, so please forgive me if there are any.
-BecomingScarlett