A/N: Hello everyone! I'm sorry for the wait, and thank you for being patient with me. I know this update is a week late, however, I explained that on my tumblr account, so, please check that out for more details (on my main author page thingy). I also want to mention that one of my reader's had a good point in wanting to know where I'm from. I live in Southern California, so go by that time for future updates. It totally didn't occur to me that people live outside of my bubble .-.
"Be with the people who know your worth. You don't need a lot of people to make you happy, just a few who appreciate you for who you are." –Anonymous
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Of Impulse and Fey
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"Wha- Shizuru!" Reito cried out alarmed, reaching out to hold an agonizing Shizuru. "What's going on!?" He frantically asked Natsuki as she sat clutching her stomach. "Urgh, her pain is passing over to me. She's given up her will to live." Reito eyes widened. He never felt the fear that settled in underneath his skin before, the sickening chill that crawled along his muscles, paralyzing and deeming them useless. "Reito," Shizuru whispered, ghostly pale and clammy, "I- I want you t-to know th-that you have been-n," she gagged and vomited on her expensive Egyptian cotton sheets, "-a good friend." Shizuru proceeded to crack a weak smile before doubling over again. Her hair matting against the sloshy contents of her stomach that, now that he focused on more clearly, had globules of blood mixed in. He didn't quite understand everything that was going on, but he wasn't going to go back on his promise now, especially now when his beloved friend needed his help most. "OI, YOU! DON'T GIVE UP ON ME NOW! I'VE GOT A FUCKING PROMISE TO KEEP!" So saying, he fled the room.
Through the suffering, somehow, Shizuru was able to hear Reito and was temporarily relived from her torture by the puzzling scene of her best friend scampering out of the room. What promise? "Shizuru…?" Natsuki asked gently. Hollow ruby eyes met concerned emerald, there was nothing more to say. It was obvious that she wasn't alright. It was obvious- to Natsuki at least- what the source of her pain was. There was nothing Natsuki could do to console the dying human, they both knew it. If Shizuru ended up dying, Reito would simply live a happy life with Chikako because she had written her will years prior. She left everything to him. If Shizuru ended up dying, Natsuki would find a new home either here or somewhere else in the vast universe that earthlings know nothing of yet. If Natsuki ever needed anything more from Shizuru, other than food and shelter, was their child, nothing else. There really was nothing left for the tawny haired woman.
"Grraaahhhh!"
"Ungh-…"
Both females cried out in unison, tears springing out from both sets of eyes, Shizuru from pain and Natsuki from anguish. Natsuki desperately wished for something that she could do or say to keep her little human from feeling so… irrelevant. The ice queen hadn't ever felt this level of depression among her people before. This level of desperation to be wanted, to be loved, was astounding. Unfortunately, situations like these don't come with instruction manuals, and the physical hurt was beginning to hinder all current thought. Natsuki glanced at her tonzae, whimpering when something akin to razor blades raked at her intestines. Shizuru wasn't going to last much longer, and who knew if the fetus even survived this long. At this point, the pregnancy was a total loss. Natsuki felt a pang in her heart, separate from everything else she was feeling. Her carelessness led to the unnecessary death of an innocent bystander, her own unborn child.
…
"Where is it damnit?!" Reito said tearing through a chest he kept hidden in his closet. It was a sturdy wooden trunk given to him by his father. The dark wood gave off a mysterious aura. It still had a stain on the lid from where his father placed his glass of Armand de Brignac Brut Rose champagne. His father died shortly after gifting the Japanese male the trunk, perhaps he knew when he was going to pass. He died in a car accident. He was hit by a drunk driver, the drunk driver survived. Still, even though the chest didn't hold any exotic riches of the world, it held the items most precious to Reito. "Found it!" he exclaimed before rushing back upstairs, praying he wasn't too late. He was mid-way up the stairs when he heard Shizuru scream. "Nonononono," he chanted to himself, quickly cursing the sweat that stung his eyes as he hurried up the rest of the stairs. He rushed into the room carrying a heavy looking scrapbook, "Don't you die on me yet woman!
I made a promise to your parents that I intend on keeping for the rest of my life," he began while kneeling along Shizuru's bedside. "They made me swear that I look after you until I breathe my last." Looking to his friend, he realized that the words were not getting through; desperate, he roughly cupped her fragile face to look up into his. "They made me swear to look after you, and as your friend I accepted. I didn't say yes because I wanted to keep my job. I didn't say yes because I only see you as a friend. I said yes because you're like my little sister, family. I said yes because I need you! Do you understand? I need you!" The light was rapidly fading out of her red irises. Letting go of her face in favor of opening the book caused Shizuru to fall forward, almost face planting in the semi- fresh vomit that was still there. Natsuki, in complete awe at Reito's forwardness, chose to ride out the agony and moved to hold her frail tonzae upright.
Shizuru's breath was too short and shallow now, whatever Reito planned on doing, he needed to do it faster.
"Look," he said, shoving the curious book onto his friend's lap, "your mothers made this scrapbook from the very first day they adopted you to the day you moved away. They collected and recorded everything tangible of your existence, because they knew that one day they wouldn't be here to continue telling you how much they adored you." The book was open to the first page where two women, Maria and Rochelle Graceburt, each held the tiny hand of a smiling little girl that stood between them. Maria Graceburt a tall, strapping blond, whose usual stern face was softened by small smile and twinkling eyes, gazed lovingly at both her partner and their newly adopted child. Rochelle Graceburt faced the camera head on with a beaming smile, her silver ringlets reflecting the sun and accentuating the happy flush of her cheeks. Shizuru felt her heart squeeze at the sight of them. They look so happy, she thought. Reito glanced at Shizuru, relieved at having caught her attention, before looking to Natsuki. Natsuki was connected to Shizuru now, and somehow was able to gauge if what he was doing was working or not. Natsuki gave a quick nod to keep going.
Feeling more determined now, he flipped to the next page. It was about her first haircut. They kept a lock of Shizuru's lighter tan hair in a neat little ribbon beside another picture of a nervous child seated on the salon chair. To this day, I still hate going to the hair salon, she thought with a chuckle that sounded more like a gasping wheeze. As if to set the fact in stone, there was a note stating "Do not cut Shizuru's hair again," in Rochelle's elegant handwriting. Reito continued flipping through the pages, taking his time to make sure that Shizuru saw every painstaking detail. Natsuki saw that in the gigantic scrapbook held everything there was to know about the female earthling, definitely past the point of embarrassing. From her first bike ride to sneaky pictures of her Nine Tails nights, it was all there. It was definitely awkward for Shizuru to see the Nine Tails pictures, but with the way they were taken only went to prove just how fiercely protective her mothers were of her. Finally, they came to the page in the scrapbook where all three women stood before Shizuru's current home, unconsciously reenacting of the first scene of when all of them met. Shizuru stood tall and proud like Maria, but smiled delicately like Rochelle, holding their hands in between them; Shizuru was the perfect balance between the two.
By now, Shizuru had calmed considerably, but she was still aching terribly. Her breathing started to become full and long with the occasional wince. Natsuki didn't know how Shizuru was able to stay conscious throughout the ordeal because the pain she personally felt was excruciating enough. "Reito," Shizuru rasped, "thank you." The taller woman placed a shaky hand on his cheek, able to smile a little more. "I'm not finished yet," he replied. True to his word, there were a few pages left unviewed. "I saw that not all of the book had been used up, so I made some pages of my own." The next page had Shizuru blushing and tearing happily, someone had taken a picture of the time he kissed her on a dare at Nine Tails. Natsuki grunted, but neither of the pair could tell if it was from disgust, jealousy, or humor. Ignoring it, Reito pressed on. The next picture told the unspoken tale of Shizuru and Reito drunkenly singing Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like a Woman!" Continuing to sift through the pages, more and more of the pair's misadventures were documented with the utmost care.
"I never took you for a sap," Shizuru commented, color returning to her cheeks. "I didn't either until I started putting these pages together," Reito smiled. He took her hand in his, careful not to squeeze as tight as he really wanted to, just to make sure she wouldn't go anywhere, "This was made so that you would remember. We- your mothers and I- love you, you dolt. Please don't make me say this again because it is very embarrassing for me. I've never even told Chikako that I love her." Shizuru's eyes crinkled jovially, "I suppose that makes me your one and only." Reito swore to himself that he would never cry in the presence of others, but he was just so relieved that Shizuru wasn't going to die, that he couldn't help it when the dam's broke. He cried and cried, Shizuru murmuring sincere apologies and carding her fingers through his hair, until his cries became quiet sobs. "I'm sorry for worrying you, Reito. I'm very thankful that both you and my mothers thought this all out beforehand. I'm grateful to have people like you in my life."
"You're damn right, brat." He grumbled while wiping the straying tears from his eyes.
Shizuru's eyes began to droop, and Reito looked to Natsuki, assuming the worst. Natsuki merely grinned in response. "I…I'm gonna take…a nap…," announced a tired Shizuru before nodding off into a deep sleep. "I'll bathe her while you change the sheets," Natsuki said, scooping the sleeping beauty from her dirtied bed. Reito let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and hummed in affirmative. Exhausted, Reito rose from the side of the bed, his knees hurting, and gathered the soiled sheets from his best friend's near deathbed.
…
Natsuki marveled at the near translucency of her tonzae's skin, a side effect of sorts due to the pregnancy. Her pregnancy, Natsuki thought another pang ripping through her heart. "I'm sorry Shizuru," Natsuki apologized to the resting human, "I wish I took more care of you." By now, Shizuru was cleaned up and back in bed. Summing up the courage, Natsuki placed a hand over Shizuru's belly. "I wish I could've spared you," she spoke telepathically to the most likely empty womb. Although Reito mentioned to Natsuki that there weren't any indications of a miscarriage, they couldn't rule out the possibility altogether. Just because there weren't signs now, didn't mean that the baby survived. Pregnancies were risky business on the alien's planet, and that was with all the necessary equipment and personnel handy. There was a very slim chance that there was hope yet, and Natsuki clung onto that sliver of hope. Natsuki always wanted to be a parent. It was one of her unvoiced desires in life. Many- if not all- her friends thought that she just wanted to be every child's favorite aunt because she never mated with anyone.
When she had sex, she and her partners used protection to keep from unwanted pregnancies. She had sex, only because she had to, but mating was something different altogether. Mating was for life, and Natsuki hadn't found the right person to "settle down" with. Obviously, Natsuki wasn't intending to mate with Shizuru either, neither of them knew that she was marked by the sinning tree sap. Shizuru rustled beneath the sheets, her fever rising again, and groaned in discomfort. Without thinking, Natsuki placed her hand atop Shizuru's forehead and allowed her cool hands to bring down the fever. I wonder, she thought to herself idly, even if I had known, would I still have tried to prevent your pregnancy? Natsuki moved her hand so that it could be placed behind the taller woman's neck, and the human shivered and sighed contentedly in response. Even though Natsuki wanted a family, it would have been foolish to think that Shizuru would have agreed into becoming a baby maker. The businesswoman expressed specifically that she had no time for pets on their first meeting, that definitely meant she would have no time for children.
With all that said though, Natsuki couldn't say that she actually regretted mating with Shizuru. From a logical standpoint, Shizuru was well to do, educated, and stunning. From an emotional standpoint, Shizuru had a great connection with her adoptive parents. They may not have been blood, and not even from her world altogether, but her bond was strong. That fierce sense of love and loyalty would make her into a wonderful mother for any future children. Shizuru's fever lowered and Natsuki removed her hand. The alien ice queen had never felt the urge to keep in physical contact with someone before and satisfied herself by playing with the tips of tawny hair. No, I don't think I would have tried to prevent it, she thought to herself again. If this baby didn't make it, Natsuki was sure to convince Shizuru to try again. The knowledge made her feel light and giddy, so as she continued to play with her mate's hair she hummed happily the nursery songs of destroyed planet. Whatever fate drew them together, Natsuki did not come to regret any of it.
A/N: I'm really sorry that this was a super short chapter, I wanted to make it longer, but... I took too long in starting this last chapter. I will do my best to make it up to ya'll in the next update. *Side note: Shizuru can't control her telepathic abilities, so Natsuki can feel everything she's feeling TO A DEGREE. What I mean is, the pain that Natsuki is feeling in this chapter is NOTHING CLOSE to what Shizuru's actually going through. So, kids, don't have kids. Have an awesome Friday and fantastic weekend! Updates every Friday. (Please give me one more week to update if I don't make the deadline, if there still isn't an update, go ahead and spam me.)