Circus Baby stared outside, at the night sky. All the stars shining, lighting up the night. The moon right in the middle. Circus Baby had looked to the moon countless nights. She'd always hoped that maybe one day, anytime, anywhere, she could live the way she wanted to. With a loving sister, instead of Alice, her ink angel sister. Circus Baby had always been jealous of Alice, for countless reasons.
1) Alice was liked and popular
2) Alice had a bright future ahead of her
3) Alice had happiness
4) Alice was the better version of Circus Baby
There were so many more. Circus Baby knew that she should value what little she had, and she did. She even cared deeply about Alice, even though Amy wished Circus Baby would just drop dead. Circus Baby loved her just the same. She knew Alice would never feel the same way about her. Alice lived to make Circus Baby's life a nightmare.
"Oh, why doesn't she love me? Why doesn't she care?" Circus Baby struggled, trying to hold back her tears. This was what Alice did to her. "I try my hardest. I do what I think is right. What do I get? What does Alice do? She treats me like a slave."
Circus Baby looked at the bright light of the moon. "I bet nobody would even care if I died. They'd be celebrating." Her gaze went up to the endless sky. "Would they? They'd be happy."
Circus Baby cried then, finally letting the tears fall down. Starting from her eyes, down to her chin, then all the way down onto the window. She could see the small pool they were making. That just made her cry more. Circus Baby had dealt with this before, crying herself to sleep every night. This may as well be the story of her life.
"Ow!" Circus Baby rubbed at the small cut on her arm, where one of the tears had landed. She'd never dream of telling, but Circus Baby had started cutting herself when she was alone. By now, her arms were coated with scratches and scars. "Why do I have to live like this? Why?"
The tears fell faster, some on the cuts and some on the window. She screamed in pain each time, but it hurt and stung so good. This was her punishment. The treatment that had been destined to be hers. Pain, hurt, and heartbreak.
Circus Baby kept feeling like this. Eventually, she thought, "I need to end this! I'm done with my life!"
She snuck to her father's room, knowing he kept a gun on the small table next to his bed. Sometimes, she felt like she was in a dream when she cut herself or tried to commit suicide. A dream that could end any minute, any second- but she didn't want it to. Circus Baby was ready to face her fate.
Meanwhile, Alice was trying to sleep. She had been kept awake, each time by the sound of her sister's screaming. At times like this, she was grateful for the distraction. She would die before telling, but Alice was jealous of Circus Baby. She envied the way Circus Baby was so approachable if you needed help. She envied her sister's rare smile, which was probably prettier than her own.
"Tell me what to do." She looked down at her hands. "What should I do?"
Alice sighed. She wouldn't be getting any rest tonight.
Circus Baby successfully made it out of the bedroom, with the black gun in her hand and a piece of paper in the other- her suicide note.
Dear Reader,
I'm sorry. I've made too many mistakes, and should have known to do this sooner. I'm not needed, I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe I shouldn't even be here. So I'm giving up. You might say I'm committing suicide. I call it escaping. You're probably too late, but if you could, what would you say to me? I'm a nuisance? I'm a slave? I'd believe anything you say.
I have a few things to say to my sister, Alice. If you're reading this...
I'm in a better place now. I have all I need, and finally know where I belong. But I want you to know, I'm not upset with you. You were the better sister. It was obvious. I was jealous of you. You were the best at everything. Alice, I love you no matter what happens to you. Remember this.
To everyone else- I should be mad at you, but I'd never forgive myself if I was. You aren't to blame, it's all my fault.
Bye forever, Circus Baby 'Charlotte'
Alice had finally been able to sleep. She was grateful, but obviously couldn't sleep too well. She kept havimg terrifying nightmares about Sammy.
"Charlotte, what are you doing?" In Alice's dream, she was chasing her sister down a long blood-stained path that looked like death. "You'll die!"
"Well, I deserve it. Right, Alice?" Circus Baby's last words, before she walked into a cloud of fog. All Alice heard after was a blood-curdling scream then silence.
"Noooooo!" Alice got down on her knees. She cried at the sight of her sister's blood coming down the path. Before she gave up, her last words were, "I'm sorry."
Alice's dream was depressing enough to wake her up. She was practically sweating. Alice had been terrified of her nightmare. "I need to see my sister!"
Circus Baby made it outside, to the backyard. This was where she was going to die. Right there. But of course, this would go unnoticed.
"Well, world- this is it. My last goodbye." Circus Baby ponted the gun at her head, and closed her green eyes as she felt the bullet in her brain. The last thing anybody ever heard from her was a scream, and of course, dead silence after.
In her cold, dead hand was the suicide note. It fell out of her hand, as if it were saying goodbye like Circus Baby had.
The gunshot woke up everyone in the house. Alice stood, shocked and scared. Soon after, her parents came down the steps. "What happened?"
Alice answered, scared. "I heard a gunshot come from outside."
Her father grabbed a flashlight. He silently motioned for his wife and daughter to follow him. Slowly and carefully, they crept outside. "Nothing in the front yard."
Alice froze up. "The back?"
Alice's father directed for her to lead the way, and they all walked to the backyard. Alice was the first one to freeze up, and almost faint. "What- what happened?"
Alice collapsed onto the grass, clutching her sister's cold hand in her own. Tears formed in her eyes, then fell. "What have I done? Please, tell me this isn't real!"
Alice's parents froze up when they saw Circus Baby's body on the grass, and Alice actually crying over her. "Alice? Is your sister really-" Her mother did her best to form the word. "Dead?"
Alice tearfully nodded. "I pushed her too far! I wish I could undo everything!"
With shaking hands, Alice picked up the suicide note Circus Baby had left. "Look at what she said to me!" Tears fell faster, and each one was more depressing than the last.
"She loved me, and I didn't stop to see that! I was too busy bossing her around... I caused her to die!"
Alice felt her parents pat her back, and hug her. They were crying, too, and it was eventually too much for Alice. "I have to go inside."
Rubbing her eyes, Alice walked into the house. She'd never see Circus Baby's smile, her hopeful green eyes, or her optimism ever again. The worst part? Circus Baby had admitted to loving her sister, and Alice hadn't stopped to see that.
"I'm sorry."
A week later, at Circus Baby's funeral, Alice sat wiping her eyes as she saw Circus Baby's body get buried. In her hand was the suicide note, which she'd kept ever since her sister's death. The phrase, "I love you, Alice," always stood out to her now.
Alice carefully placed flowers on her sister's grave, and as she did, felt herself feel a bit better. Alice would never forgive herself for Circus Baby's suicide, and had promised she'd never make that mistake again.
As she did, the clouds opened up and the sun shined. It was a beautiful day, but would never be the same without Circus Baby.
