Talia

It kept swirling round and round, like the vacuous space of a never ending void. There was no telling how deep it flowed, to what end it stopped. It was dark, scalding and ominous. She watched as bubbles formed and then disappeared.

Ding. The dark matter had become strangely fascinating. Why hadn't she noticed it before?

Ding. She watched as the milky substance entered the void and joined the swirling flow of liquid, disappearing within a matter of seconds.

Ding. The new espresso machine finished its first brew of the day. She stared into the cup of black coffee, its surface a smooth pane of brown glass, still and unmoving. Rana, she thought as the name flashed in her head like a marquee. She didn't know what to make of it... So Bane had secrets. Are we not entitled to secrets of our own? The answer might have been obvious, except she didn't want to go down that road just yet.

He had been detached and distant these last few days. She didn't want to think of how a life-changing night together had turned into an awkward morning apart. But the sudden distance from the man she loved had forced her to think of the reality of such a situation. What did she ultimately want? Love at the end of all things? Revenge beyond redemption? A meaningful career and future with a mercenary? She laughed dryly to herself. However much she wished, normalcy would never find its way to her. She knew this and accepted it a long time ago. But there were moments when even she would idealize reality. But I love him, she thought. He was there before other men came into her life - even before her father. More importantly, she trusted him. He wasn't just the man she loved; he was her friend, protector, ally, mentor.

She couldn't shake the feeling of sudden uncertainty, of how easily affected she was in the course of a few days. She couldn't fight back the wayward thoughts. She couldn't help but think of the many secrets that Bane had been keeping from her. She couldn't wash away the image of him refusing to even look at her in the last few days. Was that all it took - a mere memory to tear him away from her so easily? And in the same moment, she hated herself for thinking these things. Anyone else would have rationalized the situation and given him his space because it was their duty to do so and also because it was none of their business. She trusted him and as such, believed he knew what he was doing. Bane wasn't a stupid man by any degree, elsewise she would never have fallen in love with him.

"No one can tell you how best to live," she heard her father say in his commanding voice. It was another chilly night in the temple atop the mountain, and another lonely dinner with her old man. It was the same every day since she found him. Whenever they took dinner, there was one table set in the center of that cold dining hall. The braziers on either side of them were lit so there was just enough warmth to sit down for the duration of the meal. There was the great crest of the League of Shadows on the wall opposite the doorway, its dark steel glinting mysteriously in the firelight. She looked up at her father and then at his hands. She had always found his hands most fascinating of all. There were so many scars, so many marks adorning his skin. "Do you hear me, Talia?" Her father's voice broke her train of thought. She looked back up at him. "This is important," he said, his eyes hard and unwavering. "You are the daughter of Ra's al Ghul. You will control your own destiny when the time comes."

"Yes, father," her small voice had said.

There were days when they didn't have enough wood for the fires because the mountain had been buried in snow. She would huddle in a corner with the rest of the men and attempt to find whatever comfort she could in the warmth of their bodies. It was during these moments when she wondered why she sought out her father in the first place. Could she not have ventured into a nearby village or city and work as an errand girl or someone's assistant cook? Could she not have stood on the streets to sell the wares of her merchant boss? He always told her things she didn't understand. "One day, you'll remember my words," he'd say. "When the need for them arises." Of course, she was never one to disobey her father. She knew how much he had loved her. The feeling was mutual. Still, her perceptive abilities didn't prevent her from also seeing that it was her father who had left her mother in that prison and it was Bane, not him, who had saved her. She had spent the better part of her adolescence contemplating that dark fact more than anything. It wasn't until later in life when she realized that her father had been right about the ugly side of life, where you had to do certain things to get what you wanted. There was always a tradeoff.

"To love another is to weaken oneself," her father told her when she was older. "The love I bore your mother was used against me and in turn, I lost her."

"But what do we become if we can't love someone else?" She asked feebly.

"We are stronger for it, my Talia. Our ambitions are realized and perfected this way." He looked older these days. Less invincible, less commanding. He raised a large hand to cup her cheek and said, "I don't ever want another man to hurt you. You must not allow it." She nodded, unable to voice words as her throat ran dry and she fought back tears. It was strange and liberating to hear such words come out of her father's mouth. He was nothing if not strict and unrelenting but there were moments like this when his true character would show, when he would strip away the mask he had been wearing for most of his life.

And so it was her father who came to mind now that she pondered Bane's sudden change of heart. Or whatever this distance signified. For the first time in a long time, Talia thought of her own ambitions. She had spent the last couple of years thinking of Bane's well being. Somewhere deep inside, she knew it came down to her guilt. Her love for him was always there, yes, but she felt responsible for what had been done to him when she escaped. This temporary separation from him had forced her to see things a bit more clearly. It was time to get back to work. Time to get back into the extensive research she had done following her father's untimely death. No one could dissuade her ambitions once she set her mind to it. No matter how many attempts Bane made to discourage her actions, she wouldn't let go of it. Avenging her father's death was something she had to do. More for herself than anyone else. Her time with Bane these last two years had distracted her from this duty. She had fallen into a false sense of comfort and security. These thoughts began fueling old desires within her all at once, both daunting and rejuvenating. She had strayed too far from what she initially set out to do.

Love. The one thing that could weaken her inconsiderably, bit by bit. The one thing that would make her unrecognizable to herself. She had loved Bane all her life but she wasn't the woman to give up her ambitions for something as foolish as love. Somewhere deep inside, she hoped that Bane had not done so either.

Author's Note:

We're finally getting into Talia's head and heart. She's contemplative and in the process becoming inadvertently selfish. Her ambitions are more pronounced. I see Talia as a woman with an almost childish immaturity. She has clearly done a lot in her life but her ambitions tend to blind her from the actual reality of what's going on. Take Bane's treatment of her lately. She's overthinking it and taking the problem far out of context. Before we know it, she comes to the conclusion that she needs to think more of herself than of him. It doesn't really occur to her that Bane may be going through something personal, that he may actually need her help. It's as if she kicked into a different gear because she felt wronged by him.

Also, a note on the timeline of this story... Bruce's chapters are more of the current day while the Talia and Bane ones are of the past. I'm going to bring Talia and Bane up to speed in the next few chapters and then everyone will be in the same time frame. Sorry if that was confusing at some point. I just enjoy diving into the possibilities of the past.

Thanks for your continued support and reviews. Please keep them coming. Love y'all.