Edit: Fixed a minor error

Cards Against Mobians

"When I was tripping on acid, _ turned into _." Sonic read.

Shadow seemed to have a hard time deciding on an answer.

"The DAMN forth Chaos Emerald turned into Dark Sonic. Black Doom turned into Chaos Blast."

"No, Chaos Blast turned Black Doom into a pile of mush." Shadow corrected.

"The ooze turned into a magic talking sword."

"Was the ooze the leftovers of Black Doom?" Silver asked.

"Sexy pillow fights turned into the miracle of childbirth."

"That must have been one sexy pillow fight." Rouge mused.

"Bill Nye the Science Guy turned into the Eggmobile. Eggman turned Bill Nye into the Eggmobile!?" Sonic exclaimed. "We should have known. Still being a virgin turned into teenage pregnancy. Whoa! And this is why you shouldn't do drugs."

"Enough with the PSAs. Who wins?" Shadow demanded.

"This last one wins."

"Yay!" Cheered Amy.

Knuckles drew the next card. "What don't you want to find in your chili dogs?"

Answers were placed before Knuckles.

"Poopy diapers."

Sonic's face twisted in disgust. "I agree."

"Mouth herps. Flying sex snakes."

"Are you guys trying to ruin chili dogs for me?"

"Hedgehog chest fluff."

"And there it is. You've ruined chili dogs for me. I hope you're happy." Sonic pouted.

"Land mines."

"That's another great idea!"

"Don't bother Eggman, chili dogs are already ruined forever."

"Sonic. exe."

"Now that would be horrifying." Amy shivered.

"I pick… mouth herps." Knuckles decided.

"Soon those Emeralds will be mine!" Eggman laughed.

Rouge was next. " _. It's a trap!"

White cards were placed down.

"Full frontal nudity. It's a trap! It's true, I've used that myself."

"How many times has Knuckles fallen for it?" Sonic asked.

"At least five."

Knuckles sputtered.

"Jobs. It's a trap!"

"I agree." Eggman expressed. "Don't become part of the system."

"A chao. It's a trap!"

"The chao have betrayed us!" Sonic cried.

"A windmill full of corpses. It's a trap!"

"Well no shit." Shadow drawled.

"Water levels. It's a trap!"

Sonic shuddered. "Urg."

"Child beauty pageants. It's a trap!"

Shadow nodded. "That is so true."

"Yeah, this one wins."

"I'm on a roll!" Eggman bragged.

"Wow, you have eight cards, we're so concerned." Sonic laid the sarcasm on thick.

Shadow continued by drawing the next card. "During sex, I like to think about _."

Everyone picked an answer.

"During sex, I like to think about Mama Robotnik." Shadow slapped a hand over his mouth, gagging.

Rouge rubbed his back. "Easy, there. Just breathe."

Once he recovered himself, Shadow flung the card away and quickly moved on to the next one. "During sex, I like to think about dumbots. That's much less disturbing. During sex, I like to think about Knuckles on steroids. Still better than… that other thing. During sex, I like to think about the Trail of Tears."

"Shadow, you've got some problems." Sonic stated.

"You're just now figuring this out? During sex, I like to think about flying attack dolphins."

"…Interesting thing to think about." Silver said carefully.

"During sex, I like to think about Shadow."

"You like to think about yourself." Rouge said.

"Well, I am my favorite person. This card wins."

"That's mine!" Silver exclaimed and drew the next card. "What made my first kiss so awkward?"

"The fact that it never happened?" Shadow asked.

"Third base."

"Wow, Silver just cutting to the chase!" Sonic teased.

"Silver in a dress."

"It's just Silver making out with himself. Sad." Shadow intoned.

"Dorito breath."

"Rookie mistake, Silver." Knuckles chided.

"Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor."

Amy made a face. "No one's going to kiss you after that."

"A plunger to the face."

"Um Silver, that doesn't count as a first kiss." Sonic giggled.

"Goblins."

"Into goblins, Silver?" Rouge asked.

Silver, who had been getting redder and redder in the face, mumbled, "Dorito breath."

"I'm making a comeback!" Knuckles declared.

Eggman pulled the next question. "How did I lose my virginity?"

Shadow looked green around the gills again.

"Easy Shads, we've already established that it never happened, remember?" Sonic said.

"That doesn't mean I want to think think about it!"

Answers were reluctantly provided.

"Extremely realistic android replicas."

"So you had to create an android to lose your virginity. That's about what I expected." Sonic said.

"Teaching a robot to love."

"You don't even know how to love." Shadow sniped.

"Getting thrown into a wall forever."

"I don't think that's how you lost your virginity. That's just what I want to see happen to you." Sonic admitted.

"Getting really high."

"They must have been really high in order to think sex with you was a good idea." Rouge said.

"Synergistic management solutions. Making the penises kiss."

"You lost your virginity to gay sex." Silver stated.

"Yeah, we kinda knew. We just didn't want to talk about it." Sonic added.

"…Synergistic management solutions." Eggman grumbled.

"I'll take that card." Said Amy and drew another. "Rouge was arrested after she was caught stealing the Great Crystal _."

"Got arrested?" Rouge rolled her eyes. "Like that would ever happen."

"The Great Crystal Balls."

"That seems like something you would steal." Knuckles stated.

"The Great Crystal MechaHitler."

"Who would even make something like that?" Silver asked.

"The Great Crystal Master Emerald."

"I think that's the most realistic answer we've seen all game." Knuckles said.

"The Great Crystal Spikes. The Great Crystal Amy's Hammer. How dare you! The Great Crystal Chili Dogs."

Sonic looked betrayed. "How could you?"

"Knuckles is right. The Master Emerald is the most realistic response to this question."

"Naturally." Shadow took the card.

"My turn again!" Sonic announced, and drew the next one…

Current Score:

Sonic: 8

Knuckles: 7

Rouge: 11

Shadow: 12

Silver: 10

Eggman: 8

Amy: 14