INT.OFFICEAREA.
Donna's at her desk, typing up a memo. She hears a thump. She pauses, looks up, nothing. As she starts typing again, she hears another thump. She glances over her shoulder, scowling. She valiantly tries to keep typing, but the thumping gets louder and more frequent.
DONNA: Josh!
No answer, except more thumping. Donna shoots off her chair. She crosses to Josh's office and throws it open. She shrieks, and ducks, as a yellow ball shoots over her head and hits a staffer in the head.
STAFFER: Ow!
Donna glares at Josh, steps into:
INT.JOSH'SOFFICE.
And closes the door.
DONNA: Where did you get the ball?
JOSH: Toby gave it to me.
DONNA: So, Toby goes on the list.
JOSH: What list?
DONNA: I have a hit list.
JOSH: You have a hit list?
DONNA: Sure I do.
JOSH: And who's on this hit list?
DONNA: People that have wronged me.
JOSH: Huh... how many times do I appear on this list?
DONNA: You really wanna know?
JOSH: No.
DONNA: What are you doing?
JOSH: I'm trying to figure out how we up the provision in Article 43.
DONNA: I thought that was impossible.
JOSH: It is.
DONNA: So why are you still stressing yourself over it?
JOSH: Because the president told us to.
DONNA: I have a man on the door. He'll let me know when Rollins gets here.
JOSH: You have a man on the door?
DONNA: Yeah.
JOSH: You have a man on the door, and a hit list? Who do you think you are? Michael Corleone?
DONNA: Who?
JOSH: You're kidding.
DONNA: What?
JOSHL I'm saying, you're kidding.
DONNA: Why?
JOSH: Gonna try "When" and "How" next?
DONNA: Who's Michael Corleone?
JOSH: You're kidding!
DONNA: This has been a long day!
CUT TO:
INT.AINSLEY'SOFFICE.
Ainsley's at her desk - which is piled high with files and notes. Her office is the Steam Trunk Distribution Venue, and it's dank and dark, with the light of her PC glowing on her face. She's staring at the screen with a dull, glazed, slack-jawed look. She's got a pencil in between her middle and index fingers, tapping it against the wood of the desk.
SAM(O.S.): Wow.
Ainsley looks up, spots Sam standing in the doorway.
AINSLEY: Huh?
SAM: You look-
AINSLEY: What?
SAM: Er...
AINSLEY (unimpressed): What?
SAM: No, I was just going to say...
AINSLEY (dangerous): WHAT?
SAM: Busy?
AINSLEY: Do I look busy?
SAM: No. In fact, that's what I was gonna say. You don't look busy.
AINSLEY: You see these files?
She waves the pencil at the files on the desk.
SAM: Higher than the pile on my desk.
AINSLEY: Briefing notes, depositions, drafts and service stats - all of them due yesterday.
SAM: Blowing 'em off?
AINSLEY: I'm thinking what's the point?
SAM: In what? Doing your job?
AINSLEY: They're going to have a field day with this.
SAM: Who? The Republicans?
AINSLEY: Yeah. They're going to have a field day, Sam.
SAM: Yeah.
AINSLEY: They're going to roll out a legislative agenda so conservative Queen Victoria would've balked at it.
SAM: I know.
AINSLEY: They're going to deliver a legislative agenda so conservative, the Speaker's going to propose it wearing petticoats and a corset.
Sam giggles.
AINSLEY(CONT'D): You think this is funny?
SAM: The image of Harold Winstock wearing petticoats and a corset? Yeah, it's giggle-inducing.
AINSLEY: I hate it.
SAM: The image of Harold Winstock wearing...?
AINSLEY: No! The fact that it's my party!
SAM: The Republican Party?
AINSLEY: Yes, Sam! God, you're slow today!
SAM: Is that why you declared your love for Josh?
AINSLEY: He declared his love for me.
JOSH(O.S.): Yes, I did.
Sam spins round. Josh strides into the room.
JOSH(CONT'D) (to Sam): Why are you sneaking down to see my girlfriend?
SAM: I didn't sneak.
AINSLEY: And I'm not your girlfriend.
JOSH: There is a code among men, Sam!
SAM: I know that.
AINSLEY: And I'm not your girlfriend!
SAM: I didn't sneak.
JOSH: The code dictates that a man will not encroach upon the stated territory of a-
AINSLEY (cut sin): Territory?
JOSH: -fellow man. Without this code, we are reduced to the level of cavemen.
SAM: And I agree with you.
AINSLEY: You're acting like cavemen right now!
Sam and Josh turn to look at her.
JOSH: Did you say something?
AINSLEY: Oh, dear God...
SAM: I didn't hear anything.
AINSLEY: Do either of you actually want something, or are you just taking in the Caribbean-like atmosphere - or at least humidity - in my office?
SAM (to Josh): Did you want something?
JOSH: No. Did you?
SAM: No.
AINSLEY: Then what are you doing here?
JOSH: I'm just kicking around. Waiting for Donna to call.
SAM: About what?
JOSH: Word from her guy.
SAM: Donna has a guy?
JOSH: She does.
AINSLEY: Why are you waiting for a call from Donna's guy?
JOSH: He's... I dunno... he's watching the front gate with a pair of binoculars, or something, and he's going to let us know when Rollins gets here.
AINSLEY: This is ridiculous.
JOSH: You don't wanna know?
AINSLEY: Of course I do. But there's an easier way.
SAM: How?
AINSLEY: We'll hear screaming coming from the Oval Office.
SAM: Can't argue with that.
JOSH: There's gotta be a way we can fix this.
AINSLEY: There isn't.
JOSH: There has to be.
AINSLEY: To fix anything, you'll need a DeLorean so you can go back in time and commit voter fraud to make sure your team takes Congress and not just the Electoral College, thereby giving the president a mandate.
Silence. Josh and Sam just stare at her.
AINSLEY(CONT'D): What?
SAM: You know what a DeLorean is?
AINSLEY: Yeah.
JOSH: You're a... Back to the Future fan?
AINSLEY: Yeah.
JOSH & SAM (perfect timing): Marry me!
AINSLEY: Guys! Focus!
Ainsley's phone rings. She rolls her eyes, picks it up.
AINSLEY(CONT'D): Ainsley Hayes...
Josh and Sam turn away, give her some privacy.
SAM: You can't ask her to marry you.
JOSH: Why not?
SAM: Coz I am.
JOSH: Do we need to go over the code again?
SAM: Screw the code!
JOSH: Screw the code?
AINSLEY (behind them): Wait! Say that again!
Josh and Sam turn back to her, frowning.
SAM: Who is it?
AINSLEY (holds hand over receiver): Uncle Jeff.
JOSH: What does he want?
AINSLEY: If you'll let me talk to him, I'll find out.
Josh holds up his hands. Then his phone rings.
SAM: Is that-?
JOSH: I dunno.
SAM: Is that Donna's-?
JOSH: I dunno.
SAM: So answer!
JOSH: Okay.
Josh fishes out his cellphone, answers.
JOSH(CONT'D): Yeah
(he listens for a while)
Thanks.
Josh ends the call.
SAM: And...?
JOSH: He's here.
CUT TO: