Late again, I know. It's been a busy week, not for me but my son, so naturally that means a busy schedule for both of us. So if you want to blame someone, blame Zeus (my son...not the Greek god, in case anyone was confused).

The response to the last chapter was unbelievable, not a lot of love for poor Edward though. Hopefully he can redeem himself a bit this time.

This chapter may answer a few of your questions or it might just lead to more, who knows. I'd love to hear all your thoughts about it regardless.

Thanks to all reviewers, followers and readers, you all are my motivation for finishing this baby.

:-D

Disclaimer: Not mine, not even close.

EPOV:

My head is thumping, buzzing, I don't know if it's the four glasses of whiskey I've just guzzled like water, or my brain trying to process everything I have heard this afternoon.

Now that my anger has subsided, I'm hurt, and more confused than I have ever been. Why would Bella keep this from me? Revenge is the only reason I can think of, to break my heart like I apparently did hers, to call me out on my own shortcomings. She obviously knew that I had kept my memory loss a secret, but in my defense I thought she was a stranger when we met, someone who wouldn't watch me through hopeful eyes, secretly expecting me to just wake up one day and remember everything.

I feel weighed down by questions that I cannot answer, the hypothetical what if's. What if we had never moved here? Never met Bella? Never had a chance to love her? The steadily growing ache in my chest intensifies at the thought of never having Bella in my life.

I hear the front door slam shut, my name being called. I don't answer, don't move, praying that they'll leave me alone. Footsteps enter my study, approaching the chair where I sit. I never get what I want.

"Edward," he says. I look up at Carlisle's face, anger radiates from his every pore. "Care to explain what happened back at the hospital?"

I chuckle dryly, reaching for the bottle beside me to refill my glass. "Why don't you explain to me, Carlisle? You seem to know more about it than I do."

Just as my fingers make contact with the glass, he snatches it from my reach, discarding it on the other side of the room, giving me no choice but to pay attention to him.

"Cut the crap, Edward. What you did back there, what you said to that poor woman was inexcusable. She was trying to be honest with you, and you just threw it back in her face. That's not how you treat the people you love."

I sigh, he's right. What I said to Bella, how I treated her, it wasn't right, but in that moment, listening to the lies coming out of her mouth, all I could think was not again. I opened myself up to love and once again I'm lied to, kept in the dark. The only difference is the feelings I had for Tanya are a drop in the ocean compared to how I felt, still feel, about Bella. And the pain is so much worse.

"I just can't understand why she would lie like that," I finally say. "It's not like Bella. She already had me, I don't know why she had to open her mouth and ruin everything."

"Have you considered that she may not be lying?"

"She has to be lying, she just...has to be," I say. I don't know who I'm trying to convince, him or me. It's obvious that neither of us believes a word I'm saying, but I refuse to consider the alternative, that my life as I have known it was built on lies.

"I disagree," he argues. "Clearly someone lied about your past Edward, and I really wish I could tell you more but we weren't close until after the accident, after your parents...passed. I just want you to think about something, ok?" I nod. "If Bella isn't lying, that only leaves one person..."

"Tanya," I whisper.

It was no secret that Carlisle and Esme both disliked Tanya, Esme going as far as begging me not to marry her, but I had gone through with it anyway, they weren't my parents, we didn't need their blessings. I felt as though I owed it to Tanya for supporting me when I needed it the most.

She was the first person I saw when I woke up, she comforted me when I learnt that the car crash that had taken my memories from me had also claimed my parents lives. She had stood by me at the funeral, at the trial of the drunk driver that had hit my parents car. She had helped me to move on with my life.

But after the wedding, Tanya began to change. She wanted more, a bigger house in an affluent suburb, a more expensive car, luxury holidays every few months, her list of demands was endless, if someone else had something, she wanted better. I had inherited my parents entire fortune, I had the means and I loved her, so I gave and gave, but it was never enough to make her happy. She started staying out late at night, sometimes not coming home for days. With friends, she had claimed at the time. With other men, I now knew. Our marriage became one in appearance only.

Yet if I had a chance to go back and change things, if I had fought harder to regain my memories instead of listening to a lying, cheating gold-digger, I would do it all the same, because regardless of how I feel about Tanya now, she gave me the one thing I couldn't live without, the shining star in my miserable fourteen year marriage.

She gave me Alice.

"It wouldn't change anything," I murmur quietly.

"Pardon?" Carlisle asks.

"I said it wouldn't change anything," I repeat louder. "If Tanya was lying, it doesn't change anything, I wouldn't change anything. God that makes me pathetic, doesn't it? After everything she put me through, I'd let her do it all over again because without Tanya I wouldn't have Alice."

"Of course it doesn't make you pathetic, it makes you a good father, a good man. Edward, no-one is asking you to change anything, not that you could even if you did want to," he sighs. "I just want you to realise that Bella is not Tanya, she isn't trying to get anything out of you, she doesn't have any ulterior motives. In fact, I don't believe for one second that Bella was deliberately trying to deceive you at all. She may have hurt you, son, but I guarantee you're not the only one who's hurting right now."

"Shit!" I curse myself. I'd been too concerned with my own feelings to even consider what my outburst had done to Bella. Even if I can convince her, beg her to forgive me, I know that I will never be able to forgive myself, I don't deserve to.

"So...what are you going to do now?"

"I've got to go see Bella," I say, staggering to my feet, the room swaying around me. "I have to apologise, explain, beg for her forgiveness. I just...I have to...to..."

"Not today you're not," he says sternly. "You need to sleep this off first. Go see her in the morning, when you have a clear head. She definitely won't want to see you in this condition."

"If she wants to see me at all," I say, stumbling out of the room, towards the stairs.

"Edward," Carlisle calls out, stopping me in my tracks. "It'll all work out, you'll see. If you and Bella truly love each other, you can both find a way to move past this."

I nod, continuing up the stairs, into my room. As I collapse onto my bed, I remember the last night Bella and I spent here in this room, on this bed. My chest tightens just thinking of how much I want that moment back, that love back.

I can only hope that Carlisle is right, and that our love is strong enough to survive.