"Do you hear that, Dany?"Rhaegar asked his sleeping sister, "I think that might be Drogon."
He placed down the glass of honeyed milk that he'd been holding. She'd shown no interest in it at all. That had surprised him somewhat. Honeyed milk had been his and his brother's favourite drink when they'd been poorly, their mother would even go into the kitchens especially to make it for them. He had been able to coax Daenerys enough up until this point to get her to drink at least once a day, however over the past day she'd touched nothing and he'd have to be lying to himself if he didn't acknowledge the part of him that was terrified that she'd given up.
He stood up, smiling down at his sister, before making his way towards a small table adorned with a pewter jug, small metal bowl and cloth. Pouring out some of the water, he dampened the cloth and brought it back to his sister. Gently he washed her arms, shoulders and face, washing away the heat and dust of Volantis. If he'd had more time he would have asked Kinvara to help wash and braid her hair and he would have asked his friend to change her into something more befitting a queen. But he had only minutes and this would have to do for now.
Jon Snow.
He had gotten nothing more from Daenerys than a name but he knew that the man had to be important to her.
Viserys. Rhaegal. Drogon. Viserion. Missandei. Grey Worm. Jorah. Irri. Ser Barristan. Tyrion. And Jon Snow.
Those were the names she'd said in her sleep.
Truthfully, the last three surprised him the most. Whilst he was glad that his old friend had found her, he'd had no doubt that the Tyrion she referred to was none other than Tyrion Lannister, the brother of the Kingslayer.
Why was he haunting her dreams?
He could hear the creak of the doors. Kinvara's quiet voice and a firmer response.
"I want to see her," Jon Snow commanded.
Rhaegar could tell he was from the north. Winterfell, most likely. He'd always had a nack for accents, at least that's what Barristan had told him. There was familiarity there too- her- not my queen or her grace. Just her.
Could this be a lover? Rhaegar wondered, a feeling of brotherly overprotectiveness surging through him. He'd heard a rumour about the head of the Seven Sons having a dalliance with his sister and had hoped it wasn't true. Yes, she was a woman now, and yes, she was a queen and queens had to make alliances. Yes, she had been married twice. But the idea of his sister, his little sister, being so grown up like that made him feel uneasy.
"Right this way," Kinvara said.
Good, Rhaeger thought. He knew what north men could be like. Like drawing ice from a stone, his father had once said with a grin. There would be awkward conversations to come but keeping the lad from Daenerys would only make them harder.
Rhaegar watched as Jon Snow walked into the room. He was short and not as filled out as most men from Westeros but that wasn't what stood out most to him. Jon reminded him of her. His Lyanna. The same dark hair, the same grey eyes, pale complexion. Yes, he was from the North and from Winterfell. He even thought, perhaps, that the lad was some relation of the Starks.
Jon made his way to Daenerys's side before Rhaegar even had a chance to introduce himself. For that he was glad. He had turned away before the boy could really see him. He needed time to regain his composure.
Jon sat carefully on the side of her bed, holding one of her thin hands in both of his, his eyes scanning her body, taking in her delicate face, her soft wavy hair, her thin frame and most importantly the swell of her stomach. Rhaegar could hear his breath hitch as he noticed that.
Yes, this was Dany's lover, and the child she carried was Jon Snow's.
Seconds later the lad wept, great gushing tears, loud and unrelenting. He buried his face in her hair, dampening it, and nuzzling at her head and he placed gentle kisses against her crown.
"She is alive," Kinvara told him, "But not yet awake. We are hoping she will wake up soon. We have been wondering how she-."
Jon took in a deep, shaky sigh. Murmuring something under his breath.
"It's ok, lad," Rhaegar told him, turning so that Jon could see him clearly, "She's strong. I know she'll be ok. I know you love her, I know she is with your child. You'll be a family now."
Jon gave him a shocked look, standing up slowly, though Rhaegar wondered if he might faint. He noticed that Jon still held on tightly to Dany's hand.
"You," Jon began accusingly.
Rhaegar sighed, "I feared you might already know me. I can explain-."
"You are Rhaegar Targaryen," Jon said in a matter of fact tone. Not a question but a statement.
Rhaegar nodded, "Yes, and I can explain. About Lyanna Stark, I-."
"I know you never raped her," Jon interrupted, "I can't explain how but I know. I know you didn't kidnap her. But I know you abandoned your children, destroyed Westeros. I know everything. Or at least I did. Until now. How could you? How could you abandon everyone? How could you abandon your sister? How could you abandon your children? You were alive all this time but never told anyone! How could you abandon my mother? How could you abandon me?!"
Rhaegar felt his heart shudder.
"Aegon," Rhaegar said. He couldn't be, could he? He had believed the boy had died.
Jon nodded, "I prefer Jon Snow. Makes it easier to know which Aegon you're referring to."
"Jon," Rhaegar began, "I can explain. I never meant to abandon your mother or you. No, I didn't even mean to abandon Ellia either or your siblings. No, you were meant to grow up at King's Landing see. With your siblings and Viserys and Daenerys. We were all supposed to be happy."
"Happy?" Jon began, "You abandoned your wife for another woman who was promised to a different lord! I've heard the stories, she was in bed for six months, dying after he child was born and all you said, when she presented the babe to her was one more."
Rhaegar sighed, "It wasn't all I said to her, far from it. But yes, I knew there had to be another child. I also knew it would be cruel to let Ellia bare that child. I didn't intend it to be like that, I didn't intend to fall in love with your mother, but I couldn't help it. Yet Ellia understood, when I wept to her with shame about giving Lyanna that blue rose, when I begged her to forgive me, she just looked at me loving and told me she couldn't hate me. The heart wants what it wants. My great uncle Aemon once wrote to me and told me love is the death of duty. Seems rather fitting."
Jon Snow shuddered, "So she wanted you to elope with my mother?"
"Well, not quite entirely," Rhaegar began, "But there wasn't another way. Even the marriage too. I was sorry for that but Ellia assured me that it would be ok with Dorne. You see Targaryens, we marry brother to sister, brothers and sisters also. Dorne is not so strict in their ways either. You must have heard of Oberyn Martell and his lovers. Ellia was fine with the annulment, though if she'd been asked to comment about it in public, of course, she would have had to pretend it was a great shame, a great slight against Dorne. But did you ever wonder why you were born in Dorne? An odd choice for a traitor to have his wife bear his son, isn't it? Except there was an alliance forged and that protected you. I just needed time but I never got it-
"I knew my father had to die. I just wish he hadn't be slaughtered, put down like that. And I'll never forgive Tywin and his ilk for what they did to Ellia and my little Rhaenys and little Griff. Not a day goes by where I don't imagine you sitting by the hearth as I sing or read to you. Every day I look out of my bedroom window into the courtyard below, I see you, Viserys and Griff training with Ser Barristan. Rhaenys trying to get in on the action and Daenerys just sitting there, a pretty little thing. I wonder if there would have been dragons still…
"I know it was Ned Stark who came to rescue Lyanna. It's common enough knowledge. I hope he raised you well."
"Aye, he did," Jon Snow confirmed, "He was a true father to me. I truly wish I could say the same of you. I know you didn't mean to abandon us but you did."
Rhaegar sighed, "When Robert struck me down at the Trident, I thought it was the end. Why wouldn't I have thought that? It was a death blow. Well struck. That's the thing they never tell you in your final moments, how much it doesn't matter in the end, who's side you're on. We were enemies, yes. But we both loved your mother. That's why I yelled at him to stop, to wait, I wanted him to know just before he killed me, that I would never hurt Lyanna. I wanted him to protect her, to protect you. He could have loved you and imagine that! You being raised by your mother and her brother's best friend. So loved. I wanted him to know that was my dying wish. I wanted him to spare all of you- you, Griff, Rhaenys, Ellia- to keep you as his wards or send you to Dorne. I think you would like Dorne. But he struck me before those words could come out.
"Afterwards. I woke up here. It wasn't Kinvara that woke me up. No, there are few with the talent. I don't know who that man was. He wasn't Beric Dondarrion or any of the others I know of. Afterwards he drugged me. Something about the Lord of Light's needs. About needing to ensure that the One who was Promised- Azor Ahai- could bring the dawn. I seethed against the Lord of Light then. He was keeping me from my family, keeping me from you. I needed to go back to Westeros to fight, yet I couldn't even fight him. By the time I was allowed to wake, Lyanna was dead, Ellia was dead, Rhaenys and your little brother, my father, my mother. My brother and sister smuggled away to heaven knows where. I assumed you had died too. Kinvara had been the one to tell, she was just visiting, she had been in Westeros at the time. I was so broken I laid in bed for a year and a half eating and drinking barely enough to sustain me, just enough so I could keep myself alive and let myself suffer. I had failed all of you.
"Then Kinvara came back and she'd saved me. She told me the Lord of Light had brought me back for a reason and had shown me how to look into the flames to see that man who had brought me back, he knew the Lord of Light had backed Robert Baratheon. He knew that I wouldn't make a good King and neither would my father. He knew that there would be another set to come. He knew what he was doing was cruel, so cruel, but he was devout in his faith. He paid for it with his life. They found him hanging from the window frame by his bedsheets shortly after I'd awoken. I think he blamed himself for the death of my family."
Jon Snow sighed, "I'm sorry. But you must have heard about Daenerys, why didn't you try to find her and Viserys? Once you knew where they were."
Rhaegar sighed, "The first time I heard about Daenerys was when they told me that my mother had died on her birthing bed at Dragonstone. They'd smuggled them away, no one knew where to. My brother was a boy of eight, well protected, but nowhere near ready to rule. He had never been raised for it and I had hoped too that he'd never have need to rule. You might not believe it, given he sold Daenerys to the Dothraki, but he was actually a kind boy. He loved our mother dearly. He liked to play knights with me and he wanted to learn the lute so that he could accompany me when I went out to sing. Losing our mother must have hurt him greatly.
"For years, I heard whispers of where they were. Where they'd been moved to. Assassins and the like. I'm not a young man anymore, my son. I didn't ever believe that housewives sat sewing banners for us in secret or that men raised silent toasts to my family's health. I believed my sister and brother to be dead. The rumours were nothing more than rumours and we were gone.
"Until I saw her in the flames, heard about her marriage to Khal Drogo, the birth of the dragons. Then I knew. This was the child I had needed, the child I had dreamed about. The princess who was promised! I wanted to run from here, buy the first horse I could find and ride it all the way to Vaes Dothrak. I wanted to dare any man to stand in my way.
"But I knew if I did that they would turn from her. I was the eldest. What kind of gift would that be to her? She was a queen now. A mother of dragons. Kinvara convinced me to stay, said there would a time for us to reunite, once Dany had gained back the seven kingdoms. Oh, how I hated that! After all, what had happened that last time I'd left my family in Westeros and stayed here across the Narrow Sea? I wanted to be there so much, to lead her armies into battle, to be on her council. Yet, she grew stronger as her dragons grew. I heard of her travels- Qarth, Astapor, Yunkai, Meeren. I can't say I always agreed with her methods but I was proud of her. A breaker of chains, she'd done all of that and she was little out of childhood. And then there was me, the man who couldn't even protect his children and the women he loved.
"She turned Slaver's Bay into Dragon's Bay and then sailed for home. I felt so afraid for her. My little baby sister. She hadn't even been an idea in Rh'llor's mind when I'd died. But I had my faith, Jon, I saw her in the flames. She was so beautiful, so much like mother. The last I'd heard she had gone north, to fight in the war against the army of the dead. And she'd defeat them! Along with a man they'd called the King in the North. I guess they mean you. I am very grateful for all the help you gave her, Jon."
"Thank you," Jon said, although from the set of his shoulders Rhaegar could tell that he had a hard time taking that praise. Why?
"That was the last I'd heard," Rhaegar continued, with a heavy breath, "Until she arrived here. Dead. Did she win in King's Landing, Jon? What happened to her? And Viserys, dearest Lord, I wish he is still alive somehow, even if he's still cruel and nasty. I can bring him here, teach him to be a good man. It's been years since I last heard anything about him. I wonder how he took it, having to step aside for Daenerys. It must have a been hard. They call the Starks noble, and they are, but we were noble too, giving way to a younger sibling isn't normal for us. But I have no doubt he would have understood his place in all of this and made way for her as the Mother of Dragons."
Jon let out a heavy sigh, tears glistening in his eyes, "I'm so sorry. For all of it. Viserys. Khal Drogo killed him. He threatened Dany and- I wish he could have been a good man to her, good like he was when he was a boy. And, I'm so sorry, I, I didn't know that she-."
"Hush," Rhaegar said, placing a comforting hand on Jon's shoulder, as his son wept into the sleeve of his armour.
Viserys. He'd known, Rhaegar acknowledged with a heavy sigh, a part of him had always known but denial had been a nicer idea. It had been plausible, he thought, he had gone years without knowledge of his sibling's whereabouts being confirmed, and they had lived despite it all. Couldn't Viserys have done that again?
No, he couldn't. He was no dragon. If only he had been there to guide him, Rhaegar thought. He'd have to add him to the list of people he'd failed.
It explained the silence though. The Dothraki never talked of those who died dishonourably, he would have died far away from anyone who would have cared to carry the knowledge of his death to the red priests of Volantis. Even Rh'llor hadn't cared to show him visions of his brother. Dany was the dragon, the princess who was promised. Viserys had faded away.
"I never knew she was with child," Jon began.
"You wouldn't have known," Rhaegar admitted.
"She wasn't far along," Kinvara explained, "Maybe a month or two at most. I doubt she even knew. Woman show earlier the second time around but she was barely showing when I brought her back. The child is alive, Jon. But I won't say anything more unless Daenerys says that it is ok for me to say so."
Rhaegar noticed the look Kinvara gave him and although he was bubbling with excitement he knew to keep quiet.
"I wouldn't have, if I'd known," Jon continued, fat tears spilling down his cheeks, "If I'd known I would never have done that to her."
"You left her?" Rhaegar asked. That didn't seem the Stark way. Yes, Jon was his, he was a Targaryen but he had been raised a Stark. No wonder he has cowered away from his father's praise. Had he abandoned Dany, just like Rhaegar had abandoned his family? Was that why he struggled to look him in the eye?
Jon shook his head, "No, much worse."
Rhaegar eyes widened. No, he couldn't have…
Jon nodded, placing a hand over the top of Dany's stomach, "I was the one who killed her."