New chapter, woohoo! I hope you guys like it. And again, I'm so sorry for taking so long. I will try and write more on this story to make up for the long absence. Please let me know what you think! xoxo

I knew it the moment I left him at the fire the other night. There was no going back to what we had before. And it killed me inside.

After our talk at this particular night Gannicus and I haven't shared any words. We have been avoiding each other's company as much as we could without raising suspicion of what had happened between us. But I could feel his burning looks on my skin every now and then. When I went to get some water from a nearby well or when I took care of the injured. I never answered his looks with one of mine though. I was too afraid of what I would see in his eyes. Whatever it was I am sure it would have crushed me.

The village was a mess. The women have been busy organizing the remaining building to provide space and cooked meals for everyone, injured or not. I helped as much as I could but I could feel a tension building up between Fola, the "head" of the remaining women, and me. And the men, they were busy organizing our safe keeping. My guardian, Yoran, and Gannicus trained the men who were able to fight. They spent half of the day doing it, not very gently. They often lost their temper and for hours we heard them yell. The other half of the day the men spent fixing the main building, clearing away the burned piles of wood, that once were houses, and burying the dead. Even then they yelled at each other because they couldn't agree on how deep they should dig the holes. And in between this ever growing tension was I, the strange girl who has brought nothing but devastating destruction into their world. I did my share: I helped washing the clothes, cooking meals, tending to the injured. But it was never good enough. Fola always found something that was wrong and she let me know every single time. I was an outcast that never was and never will be truly a part of their community. It hurt like hell as you can imagine. My parents and I have always been really close and me and my friends have always been hanging out, almost 24/7. Hence I have never felt unwelcome or unwanted. This time it was different though. But I had no one to talk to so I kicked myself in the butt and told me to suck it up.

It was another day where I woke up panting. Even after almost a month the memories of the battle had changed into nightmares that haunted me every night. I barely slept but if I wanted to stay and not being sent into the woods again I had to be strong and helpful. It was getting harder every day.

While half of the village was still asleep I helped preparing breakfast. Not everyone was against me but no one dared to step in Folas's way so no one talked to me either. In silence I scooped what looked like porridge into a bowl and grabbed an apple. With a bread and a piece of cloth in my hand I made my way to Senra. Quietly I past the sleeping warriors and slipped into the small room behind the curtains.

"An angel is what my eyes see first in the morning." I jumped a little when I heard his raspy voice. Smiling I turned around and approached him.

"Good morning. Oh careful." I hurried to help him sit up. "If any of those stitches ripped open Fola will have my head." He chuckled but it soon faded into a cough. I grabbed the wooden cup that stood a little aside and helped him drink some water.

"Fola is not as cruel as she hopes to be." Senra smiled.

"You have no idea." My face showed my horror which made him laugh.

"Oh woman, you have not seen anything of this world yet to call her cruel."

"I hate to disagree with you." Without looking at him I started to feed him. At first Senra had yelled and refused to be treated like a little child but after a very loud fight with Fola he had given in and so it came that every morning one of the women fed him. Today was the first time that I had the honor to nurse him and I actually enjoyed it. Yes, that guy had tried to kill me but he was the only one whose eyes didn't show the same disgust and hatred like anyone else's.

"I wish my eyes could look more often upon you." Senra whispered after I put the bowl aside. It made me blush a little.

"You are an idiot Senra."

"That does not seem to be a nice word." He said so innocently that it made me chuckle. "Ahhh there it is." Suddenly I felt his hand pinching my chin between his thumb and index finger. He lifted my face and forced me to look into his green eyes. "A beautiful woman like you should smile more often."

Again I blushed but I held his gaze. But after a while I took his hand off my chin and sighed.

"These are not times to smile, Senra. Mayla, Calua, Lorsan and a few others are still missing and no one here cares to look for them."

"Isn't Gannicus leading the village now? This man should take the best warriors to bring them back." Senra looked at me in surprise. I took my small dagger out of my boot and started to slice the apple for him.

"That's exactly what I was saying." I handed him a slice and he munched it down.

"He seems to have laid eyes upon you, kleine Blume. Why not make him change his mind?" This time he didn't look at me. Did he really suggest what I thought he suggested?

"Because I'm not that kind of woman! I don't even look like a skank." I growled.

"A … skank?"
"Yes, a woman that sells her body. A prostitute."

"I never said you were such woman."
"No? Then why did you suggest I should 'make him change his mind'?"

"You … you haven't given yourself over to him yet?" Senra looked up hopefully. In utter disbelief I stared at him.

"Excuse me? Gannicus is not exactly the man I dream of at night and besides …" I looked down to my hands in my lap that played with the dagger, "He is with Mayla. I can't … make him change his mind because his affections lie elsewhere." Silence fell over us. Indirectly I just had confessed my feelings towards that muscly Gladiator. It was so awkward to talk with Senra about this that the groaning from the injured was just a welcoming excuse to leave.

"Uhm I hope you get well soon Senra. You had me really scared." I stood with the bowl in hand. His hand around my ankle stopped me.

"Will you come back?" His voice was just a whisper but I could hear him slightly begging.

"I will. Same time tomorrow. Fola will be asleep then." I quietly left the room.

After I had brought back the bowl to the cooking area I went to take care of the horses. They had noticed that I had a knack for animals and so I was in charge of training and feeding the horses as well as the dogs. I was glad to be working with them. They didn't judge or complain or glare daggers at me. Those animals were the only ones who accepted me the way I was and they were really good listeners.

I brought them water and oat and watched them enjoying their breakfast as I leaned against the wooden barrier. That's when I felt a burning gaze on the side of my head again. But this time it was followed by a broad hand on my shoulder. I jerked around and looked into familiar dark-brown eyes. My heart was hammering in my chest and I couldn't think straight. Was it possible that we would be talking again? I really wanted to get to know him, heck, I wanted to be with him. But Mayla …

"We are ready." His deep voice sent chills down my spine. I blinked stupidly.

"Ready?"

"Yes. Prepare five horses." Gannicus turned around and left for the main building. Ok, they were ready. Ready for what? I wanted to know so desperately but I couldn't just ask him. I was a mere woman in this world, an outcast in addition. But when he was to leave for battle … a small ball of fear twisted my stomach into knots. Still unsure why I felt this way towards him I realized that I couldn't lose him. I may be able to live seeing him with Mayla but not amongst the dead bodies the men had to bury. That would be too much.

Silent and with tears streaming down my face I prepared those five horses and brought them to the entrance of the main building. I bound their reigns around a post and entered to find Gannicus with three other men around the fire eating while Fola and a few other women packed some saddle bags. When she spotted me she glared at me and whispered something to the girl next to her which made her giggle. Sighing and shaking my head I approached the warriors.

"I really hate to interrupt but …"

"Let them eat their breakfast for the love of the gods." Fola screeched and grabbed my arm to pull me away.

"But I …"

"Let her speak, Fola." Gannicus stood and sent her away with a death glare. Then he turned to look at me, his face an unreadable mask.

"Are the horses ready?" I nodded. "Very well." He turned to the men. "Eat your last home cooked meal my friends. We are leaving to find your chief and princess in a few moments." My eyes widened and without thinking I grabbed his arm as he was about to walk away.

"You … you are going to look for them?" His eyes burned into mine but the longer he looked at me the more I had the impression they looked softer and without the hate I expected to see.

"The village needs its leader. These men are the best that I had trained over the last days." He turned to leave but I still held him back.

"Promise me you will come back." He scoffed.

"What are you implying, woman, you are coming with us."

"What?!" I looked at him in utter disbelief. "But I can't … I …" He interrupted me with a heavy sigh.

"Do you want to rescue your friend or not? Make up your find but don't test the patience of the gods." Smirking Gannicus freed his hand and left to probably get his gear ready, leaving me behind stunned.

I couldn't join the men to go out and bring back our friends, could I? I mean I was just a simple girl that got sucked into this time for whatever reason there was. I couldn't even defend myself. And Gannicus knew that. Did he hate me so much to risk my life in battle? Then why would his eyes tell me otherwise? He wasn't making any sense.

I had no choice though. Mayla had protected me from her father and had been a good friend in helping me recover and teaching me her peoples' costumes. She had been friendly when she could have easily killed me. I owed it to her. The decision was made. I had to join Gannicus and his men.

Ignoring the hateful glares from Fola and her entourage I made my way to my room that was currently occupied by a healing Senra. When I entered I found a young woman cleaning Senra's wounds. His face lit up which made me smile a bit.

"To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" He smiled softly but hissed and glared at his nurse before turning back to me.

"Believe it or not but my belongings are still in here. And now is the time that I have need of them." I said and approached the big wooden chest. I could feel his eyes on my back as I opened the lid and started pulling out clothes and my rucksack. Since I was in a hurry I took all my courage and started to change with my back still turned to the man and woman in the room. I pulled on tight leather chausses and tied them up around my waist. Over the linen shirt I pulled on a brown long-sleeved leather shirt and attached Mayla's bracers and her belt.

"What do you think are you doing?" I heard Senra's sharp voice from behind me as I tied up my boots I had bought way back in my world.

"I'm getting ready." I simply said and started to pack a cloak and small bags with healing herbs and creams into my rucksack.

"Don't think me a fool, woman." He growled and I heard shuffling. "Where are you going?" I closed the lid and turned around only to see Senra standing in front of me, butt ass naked.

"Senra, oh my god!" I screeched and turned around, my face beet red.

"Answer me." He sounded really angry.

"I don't have to explain myself to you." That's the warrior spun me around and really got in my face.

"You tell me the truth, woman, or I swear to Zeus himself that I will make you regret this day." I could see the sweat forming on his forehead. He was using all of his strength to be angry with me. "Tell me!"

"What on earth …?" Fola came into the room and gasped seeing Senra's naked form pressing me against the wooden wall.

"Get out." He spat over his shoulder. "OUT!" He screamed when she didn't listen but with that she ran like a little girl. Senra's hands held onto my arms tightly, making me shiver in fear. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. They were burning with passion and anger. It fascinated me that he felt so strongly for me.

"Gannicus is leading a search party for Lorsan and the rest. He asked me to join them." I finally said.

"What?! But … you're a girl. You can't fight." The look on his face changed but now I was the one to glare at him.

"So what? I will learn on the journey. Besides I know how to use a bow that might come in handy." I said but he sighed.

"Woman, you have no idea what's waiting for you out there."

"Oh don't think I know that." I punched his ripped stomach, making him huff and loosen the grip on my arms but he didn't let go. "I am scared to no end but I owe that to Mayla. And to Calua. I have to bring them back."

Senra's brown eyes looked deep into mine for a long while. I think he was looking for something. A hint of a lie or some kind of weakness. But then again I was making no secret of my weakness and fear.

"Come on. Help me get dressed. I want to show you something." He said after a while and turned to get his clothes.

"I don't think you …" I started but he cut me off.

"I'm not asking you for permission."

Reluctantly I gave in and sat my backpack down to help him. It took us a while but when we were done he walked out of the room, making me hurry after him with the bag strapped to my back. Everyone was in awe and shock to see him walking around. Fola and the women glared at me, blaming me for disturbing his peace. And they cursed me. I could hear it loud and clearly. With that pain stinging in my heart I followed Senra who ignored everybody's greetings.

A little too late I noticed that we were walking up to the stables. I frowned and wanted to ask what he was intending to do, especially when he guided me to the tack room. I knew this building better than myself. What could he possibly want to show me here?

"Senra, what's going on?" I asked but before I understood what was happening he spun around and crushed his lips into mine.

I slapped him across the face and glared at him in disbelief when he pulled away. But instead of letting me go his callused hands cupped my cheeks and he kissed me again roughly. I didn't understand, I didn't know what was going on but damn it was amazing. I had been starving for any sort of kindness for so long now that I was hanging on his affection like a baby on its mother's breast.

He rested his forehead against mine and buried his hands in my hair. I felt his quickened heartbeat under my palm and it made me smile.

"I can't convince you to stay …" Senra said softly and I shook my head.

"No."

With a sigh he pulled away. He pinched my chin and lightly touched my bottom lip.

"Then at least let me help you." I frowned at that. He turned around and started to knock on the wooden planks of the wall.

"What are you doing?"
"Shh." He said and kept on knocking. The next plank though made a different noise. "Ah." Senra smiled and fiddled with the plank before it came off. He grabbed inside the hole and pulled out a sword and a couple of daggers.

"Here, take these. You might need them." He held the weapons out for me.

"I can't … what will you use in case something happens here?" I looked at him scared.

"That is not of your concern. Take these and ease raging mind. My heart would be stronger knowing they protected you."

And although I had no idea how to properly use them I attached the sword to my hip and strapped the daggers to my thigh. When I looked up again Senra stood there, in his hands a quiver with arrows and beautiful bow that belonged to Mayla's older brother.

"You said you know how to use bow and arrow. I pray that it wasn't a lie."

"You will know the truth when I bring it back along with Lorsan and Mayla." I said softly. Without a word he helped me strapping the quiver to my back. He stepped away and looked down at me while I strapped my backpack over it and checked if the weapons where tied safely to my body.

"Thank you, Senra. Graditude." I stepped forward and cupped his cheek. "We will see each other again. If the gods favor a reunion." He pressed my palm against his lips.

"Go now." He whispered. It took me a moment to say my silent goodbyes and then I ran out of the building to the yard where Gannicus and the men were waiting.