Disclaimer: I own nothing... All I own are some clothes, a candybar and a cell phone with a cancelled plan...

Girl's Changing Room

Paige

I stood by my locker completely unable to process what had happened just twenty minutes ago. I was standing in front of the entire school, after having promised to give the most brilliantest cheer ever, at the assembly for Kevin Smith and what did I do? I spelled out his name. I spelled it out. I SPELLED IT THE FUCK OUT!

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could I be so stupid?" I asked myself as banged my head on the locker. The pounding kept time with the "I am stupid" mantra that I kept repeating.

'Which part are you referring to? The assembly or the part where you lied and said Alex means nothing to you?'

I set my mouth in a firm line and ceased the head banging. I was so not going to deal with this anymore. I was done. I, Paige Michalchuk, was completely finished with worrying over movie premieres, assemblies and – and being attracted to someone I'm not even supposed to like.

"And I have to be better when I'm around you. I can't help it either."

Oh memory is a cruel, cruel gift. I stalked out of the changing room intent on going home and curling up with my previously abandoned Ben & Jerry's but was distracted by noises coming from the gym. I peeked in and saw Kevin and Jason playing what appeared to be a fierce game of basketball.

"Don't hate the playa son, hate the game. Know what I'm saying?" Kevin said to Jason before looking up at the door and spotting me. "Oh Ms. Michalchuk! Want to shoot some horse with us or are you running off to a spelling bee or something like that?"

Thanks Kev, really needed that special reminder.

"Uh about the cheer…please know that I've composed more… cheery… before." I offered pathetically.

"Nobody's ever done a cheer in my honour so by default your cheer for me was about the best I've ever had, so thank you." Kevin murmured scratching his chin.

Truth time.

"I was kinda distracted."

"Distracted, huh? Let me guess. By some kind of acid tongue, raven haired beauty from the wrong side of tracks, maybe?"

Oh yeah, that describes her perfectly.

"Kevin. Jason. Listen your taxi's here." Ms. H popped in briefly before disappearing again. Thank God, she didn't register I was standing there.

"Thank you Ms. Hatzilakos." Kevin waved her away dismissively.

We started to walk out of the gym side by side. And before I knew it Kevin Smith was giving me relationship advice.

"Let me ask you a question, you like this girl? Like you know, like her, like her?" He clarified.

As if I needed to know what he meant.

"Yeah I like her, but I'm not gay. My brother is gay. I'm straight. I always have been." Ok, is there something within my psychosis or in my genetic makeup that kept forcing me to make that little disclaimer?

"Your brother is gay? My brother is gay too! Even got married to a guy." Kevin grinned.

"Really?" I asked surprised. I mean I knew abut gay marriage and all, just never knew someone that had done it.

"Yeah it was the hottest wedding I'd ever been to in my life. Really, really cool. Hands down. Almost made me want to switch teams." Ok, that was pretty damned funny. Somehow, I just can't picture Kevin Smith as a gay man.

"Almost. Look I'm probably the last guy in the world who should be giving you advice on this very subject, but I don't know you guys seemed happy the other night and that's kind of rare and whether it's gay, straight, bi, whatever…it's kind of worth investigating a little further I'd say. Just my two cents." We'd reached the front door to the school by this point and I felt like I had a lot more insight into myself now. He was right, it really didn't matter that Alex and I were girls. I liked her. That was all that counted.

"You just gonna stand there staring at me after I've dropped that wisdom on you? Come on that's your move. Go chase the girl, silly!"

I grinned and walked out of the school feeling lighter than I had since I sat holding Alex's hand in the laneway. Kevin was right, I had to fix this. I couldn't let her think she meant nothing to me. I couldn't waste this chance.

Alex's Apartment

Alex

'Damn it! Why can't Jay just leave me alone? It's not enough that Paige brushed me aside to Hazel like I was some kind of dirty little secret, but now Jay won't keep his grimy paws off me.'

As I stormed out of my apartment my mother's description of Jay replayed.

"Aw such a charmer. I always knew this one was a keeper Lexi. Sort of reminds me of old Chad here."

But I didn't want some scumbag user to mooch off me. To make my life miserable. I wanted better. I wanted squeaky voices and eyerolls, I wanted someone who read stupid magazines and laughed way too loud. I wanted –

My thoughts were distracted by movement to my right.

Paige. Paige was here. She was here, but why was she here?

"I've been trying to work up the nerve to ring the doorbell." She was twisting her fingers nervously and she kept her distance from me.

I decided to play this how I normally would. Gruff, hard, and anything but easy.

"We don't have one. Welcome to my world."

"Any room in it for a stupid girl?" She queried still twisting her fingers.

"I already have one of those." I looked away not wanting to give in and I knew that if I looked at her all my emotions would be so easy to read.

"Well how about room for someone" she swallowed anxiously and continued "who's ready to stop worrying so much" she swallowed again. This was hard on her, I know it was but she kept going, "about what other people think?"

"There might be room for her." Nonchalant, that's my middle name.

"Alex I'm sorry about before, what I said." I could feel my lips wanting to curl into a smile when I heard her lisp slightly. She always had a slight lisp when she was being sincere, when she was just being Paige.

But sincere or not, it hurt to have her say I meant nothing to her.

"Whatever Paige. It's cool." I wasn't going to let her know that though.

"No, it's not." She had been keeping close to the wall but still moving close to me. Now she hurried to place herself in front of me, I guess she wanted to make sure I understood what she was going to say.

"I said you were nothing to me," I looked away again, I didn't need the reminder "which…which is a total lie because right now you're pretty much everything."

No way. No freaking way did Paige Michalchuk not only apologize but tell me I was pretty much everything to her. What about Spirit Squad, or Hazel or her reputation? I wanted to know so I looked in her eyes. They had never lied to me before and they weren't now. She meant it. As if to prove the point even more she had grabbed my hand in both of hers and was holding it tightly to her. Her thumb was gliding over the side of my hand but I stilled it by placing my hand gently on top of hers. Maybe this could work out after all.

"So um… do you maybe want to go somewhere and talk?" Paige asked shyly still holding onto me.

I pulled my hands from hers but immediately laced my fingers with hers and began walking down the hallway and to the stairs. I wanted to get out of there yes, but I also wanted to spend some time alone with Paige. We really did need to talk.

"Alex wait." Paige called softly, pausing when we reached the bottom of the stairwell.

I turned to her questioningly and was caught off guard when she darted in and placed a short, soft kiss on my lips. She pulled back with a smile.

"Ok, let's go."

The Park

The girls walked in silence for some time. Both just trying to sort out their thoughts. On the one hand there was Paige who was still guilt ridden over hurting Alex and on the other hand was Alex herself who was trying to figure out if Paige was really up to a relationship.

Finally Paige managed to get up enough courage to speak.

"Alex, I really, really am sorry about today. I just-"

Alex shook her head squeezing Paige's hand gently.

"It's ok Paige. Seriously. You got freaked out and-"

This time Paige did the interrupting.

"And I lied and I hurt you. It's not ok Alex. I mean if you'd said that about me, I don't think I could've just let that go."

Alex sighed and led Paige over to a group of trees. Sitting down in the shade she tugged Paige's hand to get her to sit as well. Once the other girl was seated next to her Alex turned and began speaking.

"I won't in any way lie to you and say that it didn't suck to hear you say that I meant nothing to you. It hurt to hear it but not because of what you think. I know you didn't mean it, so it's not what you said that hurt, it's why you said it that did." Alex regarded Paige carefully to see if she understood. Seeing confusion lighting the blonde's eyes Alex continued.

"You- when you said that to Hazel it was like you were ashamed, like I was some kind of dirty secret that you had to hide from everybody. I don't want you to be ashamed Paige."

Stunned Paige sat with her mouth slightly agape. It took her a minute but finally she found her voice.

"I'm not ashamed of you Alex. I don't think I could be." Paige kept eye contact with Alex the whole time was speaking so that the other girl would know she was serious.

A small nod accompanied a brief smile.

"Ok, that's good, but Paige I don't want you to be ashamed of yourself either. I mean if you were that'd be just as bad."

"I'm not- I'm not ashamed Alex." Paige protested softly. She reddened at Alex raised eyebrow.

"I know it seems like I am but I'm not. I'm just…confused. I've never felt like this about another girl before and I don't really know what to do. I mean I don't know if things are really that different or not."

"Things?" Alex repeated with a smirk.

"Yes things." Paige blushed again. "Please don't make me go into detail Alex."

"Oh but I'd love for you to go into detail. I want to know what kinds of things my dearest Paigey thinks about in regards to moi."

"Paigey? Please Alex, only my gran and Dylan in his most annoying moments calls me that." Paige declared archly hoping to distract her companion.

"Yes, Paigey, I like Paigey. It's cute. Now, nice try at distracting me but I'm still waiting to hear what things you were thinking about. Were they," she lowered her voice and leaned in to whisper in Paige's ear, "sexual things?"

If possible Paige blushed even harder than before and looked away. Alex grinned and leaned in a bit closer to brush her lips across Paige's cheek. Pulling back she leaned against the tree behind her and smiled knowingly.

"So, not even together twenty-four hours and already you have me naked in your fantasies?" Alex teased completely delighted when Paige shot her an astonished look and her cheeks turned the reddest Alex had ever seen.

"I… that is… well…" Paige stammered unable to come up with a rejoinder. Finally she just settled on the truth. "I've had time to think about it."

"Yeah, I figured you looked a little tired from last night."

Alex had looked over at a nearby dog playing Frisbee but looked back after her remark. She was shocked to see Paige looking shy.

"I've had longer than that to think about it Alex. Besides, it's not like I've actually fantasized about it or anything, Just kind of wondered if it would be different. You know, if the, the" Paige struggled to find the right word. "You know, the mechanics of the whole process."

Alex snorted and shook her head in amusement.

"Paige, we're not cars, we're women and I imagine it's a lot like doing it with a guy just with two sets of boobs and no penis. But I do understand what you mean."

Paige smiled in relief and leaned her shoulder against Alex's.

"Good, because I really didn't want to have to explain any further than that."

Alex nudged Paige a little bit and when the blonde leaned up to see what was wrong Alex maneuvered her arm around Paige's shoulders and pulled her closer. She smiled as Paige moved her head from Alex's shoulder to her chest and she knew Paige could hear how calm her heartbeat was. She was calm for the first time since the laneway and she really wanted to stay that way. First though, she had one more question for Paige….

"So just how long have you been wondering about lesbian sex?"

TBC….

A/N: Ok there you go, the last installment for LoL…. The next one should be a short mini involving people's reactions to the newest couple at Degrassi.

Yes, I am aware that the last bit isn't in italics, I do that not to confuse people but whenever things are no longer first person. R&R please.

I want to make sure I give credit for the transcripts I've used. Credit goes out in huge amounts of gratitude to