Whoa! I haven't updated "Reasons Why Not to Have a Baby" for ages, but I'm updating Poles… Oh well, Poles comes first because I have to wrap this up in a year, and for the other one, it's just a side thing. A suggestion from Felixfeles for the acid! She's so awesome! Just a heads up, I suck with Bleach Hichigo's accent, and I majority screwed things up a bit in here… and there's more gay jokes… Oh, and the "later revenge" bit is here. Go to Chapter 3 if you've forgotten about it. Anyway, Enjoy!

I don't own Bleach. If I did, Ichigo would probably end up being gay so I wouldn't have to worry about the whole romance stuff, and so when angry fan girls send me letters about IchiRuki and IchiHime stuff and why aren't they're together, I could just calmly say; "He's a homosexual, and so he can't fall in love with any girl." And it would be terrible.

Ichigo was angry. He didn't want to lose to his inner hollow. After the cero incident, Hichigo still got the point for destroying it, and leaving him two points in front of Ichigo. The spiky head racked his brain, trying to come up with an idea on how to destroy the pole. Them he realised a problem in the competition rules, and planned to use it to his advantage.

Forget Ichigo for being annoyed, Zangetsu was thoroughly pissed. Hichigo had annoyed him for the last hour, and wasn't going to budge from where he sat, in front of the old man emo pole where Zangetsu was perched.

"Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan!" Hichigo shouted at him. "Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan!"

"WHAT?" The zanpukto roared at him.

"I'm bored~," the albino said.

"I know; that's what you've been saying for the past hour!"

"Then entertain me!"

"No,"

"Meanie!"

Silence…

"Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan, Kage-chan!" Hichigo started.

"WHAT?"

"I'm bored~,"

Zangetsu could seriously face palm right now. But then he thought of an idea to shut Hichigo up.

He shunpoed towards Hichigo, shoved one of his drugs in his mouth, covered the hollow's mouth, and made him swallow it. The hollow was knocked out again. But the emo sword didn't stop there. He then shunpoed to Hichigo's candy stash, went in Bankai, and Getsuga Tenshoed it. Tensa had obliviously forgotten about the Alexander incident from last time.

Ichigo crept into the dim-lit science room. He sighed out loud. It looked like no one was here. The substitute searched through the cupboards, and then found what he was looking for. He grabbed the bottle, and dashed out of the classroom. Sure, he had no idea what would happen when he opened the bottle, and poured out its contents, but it was better than an intense cross-examination from Kurotsuchi again.

After running out, and sneaking back into his house, he went into his room, and then went into his inner world. The strawberry found Zangetsu's old man emo pole, and, luckily for him, no Zangetsu near it. He pulled out the cork of the bottle, and poured its contents all over the pole.

"What are you doing, Ichigo?"

Said shinigami jumped a mile after hearing Shikai Zangetsu behind him.

He turned around, and said, "I'm destroying a pole again."

"Oh, okay," Zangetsu said, not bothered at all.

Ichigo turned back around to see the pole disintegrating quite nicely.

"Ichigo, didn't you destroy one of the poles before with acid?" Zangetsu asked.

"Yeah, but that was before me and Hichigo started the competition, so it doesn't count," Ichigo pointed out.

Then the strawberry saw Hichigo on the floor, near the pole.

"W-what's he doing there?" Ichigo asked Zangetsu.

"He was annoying me, so I knocked him out, and destroyed his candy stash," Zangetsu said.

"YOU IDIOT!" Ichigo shouted at him.

Zangetsu looked at him, confused.

"DO YOU REMEMBER LAST TIME HE WAS KNOCKED OUT?"

Then Zangetsu remembered, and paled. "Sh*t."

Ichigo then sighed. "Well, we've got to get as much candy as possible until he wakes up."

"… Ichigo," Zangetsu said while pointing at Hichigo.

"What?" The substitute looked over at the hollow, and then instantly looked away.

Hichigo was too close to the pole, and some of the acid had gotten onto his clothes… that were there before. But now, the albino was naked. The acid was also eating though the skyscraper, because it didn't just work for metal, like Kurotsuchi's.

"What's wrong?" The zanpukto said. "You're gay, aren't you?"

Spikey head death glared the old man. "I'M GETTING REALLY ANNOYED WITH THE GAY JOKES!"

Zangetsu was just silent, but he was grinning inside. The two then found some clothes for Hichigo that Zangetsu had, just in case of anything, and they put them on the hollow.

Over the past 2 weeks, Ichigo tried to get as much candy as per possible, but sadly, it wasn't even enough to fill one of Hichigo's candy boxes.

Ichigo groaned to Zangetsu in his inner world, "About now is the time when Hichigo wakes up, but I've wasted all my money, and we haven't collected nearly enough candy."

And then the hollow woke up.

Ichigo saw his eyes snap open, so he quickly distanced himself from Hichigo, and got out his sword. Zangetsu just ran off. The albino got up slowly, and Ichigo was surprised that he didn't turn Alexander on him.

"Wha's wrong, King?" Hichigo asked; his voice heavily accented.

"I thought you were going to turn into that thing," Ichigo explained, while lowering his zanpukto.

Hichigo chuckled, sending shivers up the substitute's spine. This wasn't like Hichigo. Before, if Ichigo had called that form a thing, there would be shouting and whining.

"Nah, King, I only did tha' before to scare ya," the hollow said.

"You mean all that "I WILL DEVORE YOUR SOUL, ICHIGO KUROSAKI!" was all an act?" he asked frowning. "And why aren't you shouting at me, and why is your voice really accented?"

Hichigo chuckled again. "Haven't ya realized, Ichigo? Thi' is tha real me. Remember tha time whe' ya versed me in here before, both times? I was like this! But all tha times before, I was hyper on candy!"

"… Wait, I'm confused," Ichigo said. "After we were torturing you before, you became a candy zombie."

"Tha's 'cause I wasn't fully off candy. I was still hyper."

"Why aren't you gone Alexander yet, Hichigo?" Zangetsu said; realising before that no one was chasing after him or ceroing the place.

"Apparently the whole Alexander thing was so he could scare us," Ichigo explained.

"Hey, don't call it "Alexander"," Non-Hyper Hichigo said. "Tha's jus' a f*ckin' stupid name tha' the hypo' version came up with."

"But he goes crazy over that name," the shinigami pointed out.

"King, you're called gay all tha time, but ya don't like it," the albino said.

"STOP IT WITH THE GAY JOKES!" Ichigo half screamed.

Hichigo chucked. Ichigo just sighed and went to the real world, seeing no harm with the non-hyper Hichigo.

He was proven wrong soon afterwards.

"… Ichigo," Zangetsu said.

"What?" the shinigami asked.

"You may want to come in here," the zanpukto said.

"Why, old man?"

"Hichigo's making something weird,"

"He may be rebuilding his candy machine. You even make drugs yourself,"

"No, this is something else,"

Ichigo sighed. Luckily it was the weekend, so he wouldn't get bashed up by any angry teachers.

"Fine," he told Zangetsu. "I'll go in there to see whatever he's making."

When he went into his inner world, Zangetsu lead him to wherever Hichigo was. It was where Hichigo's candy "stash" was, and it didn't look like it had been Getsuga Tenshoed by Tensa Zangetsu.

"Hey, I thought you said that you destroyed Hichigo's candy "stash"," Ichigo said.

"He must have rebuilt it," Zangetsu said.

"That quickly?"

"Who knows?"

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders, and went inside.

"Ola! Arrancar Remix!" was playing as loud as the Hichigo-made speakers could allow, and there was wires, and circuits, chips, and all other computer-electronicy type stuff everywhere. In one corner, there was all the candy which had survived Tensa's Getsuga Tensho. The hollow was bent over a little device that was obscured from the substitute shinigami's view. There also was a massive machine not far from Hichigo.

"Hichigo?" Ichigo called. "What are you're doing? And why are you playing this song?"

"Wha'?" Hichigo responded looking over at Ichigo. "Why can't I listen ta songs fro' ma nationality?"

Ichigo frowned harder. "How is this song from your "nationality"? You're my hollow, born from me, and I'm definitely not Spanish. Plus, you're not even an Arrancar, because Arrancars are hollows that break their masks, and gain Shinigami powers. You're just my inner hollow, a shinigami's inner hollow."

"But I'm still count'd as a hollow, and all hollow are Spanish," Hichigo pointed out.

"Says who?"

"Says tha maker o' Bleach. He said that tha Spanish language sounded "bewitching and mellow"."

Ichigo sighed. "Whatever. This song sucks anyway."

"Wha do ya listen ta anyway, king?"

"Don't know*. Anyway, what are you doing?"

"I'm buildin' a bomb so I can destroy Kage's pole,"

"Hey, wait, you can't do that!"

"Wha not?"

"Because you'll probably kill me!"

"Wha? How do ya know? Plus it doe'n't come under tha cont'ct." He then got out a piece of paper with the rules of their competition on it and handed it to Ichigo. "See, king?"

Ichigo looked up from the paper. "But if you kill me, then you kill the body."

"Wha ya talkin' about, king? I can still tak' over the body."

Ichigo scrunched up the paper in his fist. "Why you…"

"Go on, king, get outta here," the albino was now working on his pole-destroying bomb again. "Stop disturbin' me an' go an' study or somethin'."

Ichigo scowled at the hollow. He didn't want Hichigo to set off the bomb, but he didn't know how to, without breaking the competition rules. Then the strawberry got an idea. He got some of the leftover candy, snuck up on Hichigo, and then shoved the hollow's mouth full of the candy. The shinigami also covered his hand over the hollow's mouth, in order to stop him from spitting the candy out. Hichigo unwillingly swallowed the candy, and Ichigo removed his hand.

"Huh?" the hollow said. "King?"

Silence…

"I'M BACK!" the hyper Hichigo shouted, and grabbed Ichigo into a bone-crushing hug that would've made Nel jealous.

Ichigo was frantically trying to pull the hollow away, when Zangetsu came in, wondering if Ichigo was still alive. When he saw the two, he instantly turned away, and walked off.

"Wait, no, this isn't what it looks like, old man!" the substitute shouted after him.

"KAGE-CHAN!" Hichigo shouted, ran after Zangetsu, who was now running, and then grabbed him in a big hug.

Ichigo took this moment to grab the bomb and hide it in his inner world. He knew that he couldn't destroy it, because it would be probably set off, and what would he do with it in the real world?

*I honestly don't know, because we haven't been given this information. His theme song, and the little bit in the retarded wannabe vampire season don't count.

Give it to the government so they can bomb America for payback for what they did in WWII. (It was a joke guys… nothing to be taken seriously. But then again, when is this ever serious?) Next chapter is the Halloween special! Let me tell you guys now that I've never gone trick-or-treating before… I need a guide for writing accents, because I suck badly. And no, I'm not gonna go back and read stuff with Gin in it. Also the accent bit with Hichigo is to help identifying the two. Poor Ichigo being called homosexual all the time. Review, please!