Disclaimer: I own Nar- *sued into third world poverty by people who own Naruto*

Three weeks.

Three weeks, and Naruto was ready to make it a personal mission to exterminate every cat in existence. Starting with that demonic impostor cat people called Tora. Not even his mother would be able to stop him; neither would his brother.

Although, considering how often Sasuke's eye had been twitching the last hour, Naruto was sure he would help him, rather than impede him.

Tenten spoke up as soon as the door shut behind the Fire Daimyo's wife. "I'm not sympathizing with the cat, but I can understand why it keeps running away and makes an effort to not be found."

"I hope its head pops from all the blood getting pushed into it."

"NARUTO!"

"What?!" Naruto rose his hands up to placate the glaring girl. "That thing pisses me off more than weeds do! And weeds are damn annoying!"

The Hokage cleared his throat, bringing the kids' attentions back to him. "Now that that's finished, there are a few D-rank missions that you can get completed before 4 pm today. A neighbouring village about 5 kilometres from us has requested we deliver an order, there's a babysitting request, or—"

"TORA NO!"

Nearly everyone in the office sweat dropped. Sasuke's other eye began to twitch.

"—or you can catch Madam Shijimi's cat."

Naruto crossed his arms in an X formation. "HELL no! I'm sick of all these chores that get labelled as missions! Where's the real awesome crap, like fighting off rogue ninja, or being the escort or bodyguard for a princess or the Daimyo, y'know?!"

"Naruto." Iruka, having taken up a temp job as secretary while school was out, sighed. "I know that D-rank missions aren't as exciting as you were probably hoping, but they're given to new Genin for a reason: to help build your teamwork. It's rare for any Genin team, let alone a new one, to get a C-rank mission. Never mind something as high-profile as guarding an important political figure!"

The blonde waved off the now red-faced Chunin. "Yeah, I know that, but still! Me, Sasuke, an' Tenten are like, one complete, super ninja! Sasuke's the skill, Tenten's the brains, and I'm the muscle! We're like, the second coming of the Sannin, or somethin'!" Naruto cast a sideways glance to the raven-haired boy. "'Cept Sasuke won't go mad with power and betray the village." A pause as the joke registered in Sasuke head.

"Oh, fuck you."

"Boys, boys." Hiruzen brought their attention back to him. He turned to the Jonin leaning on the wall by the door. "You're the leader for Team 7, Kakashi, so what say you? Are the kids ready for a C-rank mission?"

"Hmm…" Kakashi roamed his eye over his three students; Naruto looked about ready to outright beg. He shrugged. "I guess we can take something simple, like an escort."

Naruto whooped and the Hokage chuckled at the reaction; even Iruka, despite his argument against the group taking a C-rank mission, couldn't help smiling slightly. Tenten and Sasuke themselves grinned.

"Alright then." Hiruzen moved aside the set of D-ranks and pulled over the C-rank scrolls. "Let's see… Ah, here we go.

"Team 7, your mission is the escort and protection of a carpenter from the Land of Waves as he returns home to finish the building of his bridge. You will be expected to fight off wild animals, as well as bandits and thugs." The Hokage buzzed his intercom. "Send in Tazuna, please."

About a second later, the door opened to reveal a heavyset man in a straw hat, drinking out of a bottle of booze. He studied the group before him, before lowering his liquor and turning to the Hokage. "The hell is this? I paid for ninja, right? Why am I getting a bunch'a brats? 'Specially the shrimp!"

"Hehe, someone's a shrimp." Naruto's grin dropped when he saw both his teammates on either side of him. And that he had to look up at both of them. "WHAT!"

Kakashi dropped a hand on the blonde's head to calm him down. "Calm down, now, Mr. Tazuna. I can assure you that my students are more than capable of handling any bandit or animal predator that would attack us. And even if something should go wrong, I myself am an elite Jonin."

"Sure." The bridge builder sighed and swept his free hand over his face. He then levelled a stare at the kids. "As you brats have heard, my name's Tazuna. I'm expecting super protection until I finish building my bridge. Got that?" He took another swig.

"Alright, guys, head home and pack. We'll leave bright and early tomorrow." The kids nodded and bade the adults goodbye. As soon as the door shut behind the trio, Naruto deadpanned. "I'm betting 9 AM at the earliest, y'know."

Tenten giggled and Sasuke snorted.

Mikoto looked up from her reading as she heard the door open, catching her sons walking in. "So, how was today?"

"Are cats susceptible to Genjutsu?"

She looked at Sasuke oddly. "Sorry?"

"We had to catch that cat Tora," Naruto elaborated. "Twice."

Sasuke twitched slightly once.

The woman's mouth opened slightly in understanding, and a small bit of pity crossed her face. "I see." She sighed. "No, cats aren't as susceptible to Genjutsu as people; you could only distort their vision slightly." Her eyes seemed to deaden slightly. "Believe me; I've tried."

"Crap."

Mikoto ignored the curse from both boys; it's not like she hadn't uttered the same phrase when she found out that truth herself, so calling them out would be hypocritical. "So, beyond Tora, what happened?"

"We had a weeding mission, also," Naruto said, before jumping in excitement. "Oh! We also got a C-rank mission, too! We gotta protect some bridge builder guy from Wave!" Some excitement ebbed away for childish anger. "Kind of a prick, though; I ain't a shrimp," he muttered.

"We're leaving 'bright and early'," Sasuke air-quoted, "tomorrow; Kakashi's words."

"Well, you'll be at the main gate by around 8 o'clock." Naruto opened his mouth. "I know Kakashi is almost always late, but he does take missions somewhat seriously. He shouldn't be too late this time."

The blonde sighed. "Fine," he conceded. "So when's dinner?"

"Well, I guess I can get started on it." Mikoto put her book down and stood up, heading for the kitchen. "You boys go and start packing for your mission."

At the suggestion, both Naruto and Sasuke left the family room and headed over to their respective bedrooms.

The next morning, about a quarter past 8, Naruto and Sasuke walked up to the main gate and sat down on the nearby benches. About five minutes later, their third team mate walked up, a large duffel bag over her shoulder. She waved. "Yo."

"'Sup, Tenten." Sasuke waved silently as Naruto spoke up. "We just got here a few minutes ago."

"Cool. Guessing sensei isn't here yet?"

Sasuke snorted, as if saying 'Take a wild guess'.

It would take another thirty to forty minutes before Naruto perked up, catching the others' attentions. "I smell somethin'… Like…stale booze."

Sasuke sniffed for a second, then turned an eye to his brother. "You sure?"

"Yo, team. Glad to see you're all here!" The three turned to see Kakashi walking towards them, Tazuna close behind him. "Sorry if I was late; I had to play a quick game of Find the Drunk."

The bridge builder scoffed and opened the liquor bottle he was holding, taking a large sip.

"We weren't waiting too long. One hour at the most." Sasuke shrugged.

The scarecrow-like man blinked. "Oh, so I was early?" He shrugged, brushing off Naruto's glare. "Not much I can do about it now, I guess. So, ready to head out?"

With that, the ragtag group of five stepped passed the threshold of the main gate and began their journey to the Land of Waves.

Smaller chapter compared to my last two but I'm suffering writer's block. Plus, this seemed a good place to end it so now I can start the next chapter with the beginning of the mission and the Demon Brothers.

I finally found a beta again! Wouldn't you know it, it's Chosha Kurenai, like last time. Thanks to her for taking this back up.

Still digging around for reviews and TV Tropes recommendations. If anyone does the latter, please PM me whether it's on the For Want of a Nail rec page, or Alt & Crack Fic, or something.

Also, to be honest, I've recently been using Google Translate for the different languages I end each chapter with. They all translate to "Goodbye" so no one's missing much. It's our little secret. Today is Georgian.

Sbohem!