A/N: Okay, so the last chapter got dark, sorry about that. But this chapter is purely comedy.

Chapter 10: A collection of fake funerals and a talk of fanfictions

"So, we have ten days left of break." Chloe crossed her arms as she paced her huge room. They were all hanging out as Zoe and Adrien relished their last ten days living with the Dupain-Chengs. "What are we gonna do?"

Alya shrugged, and Zoe was on her laptop. "What're you doing?" Nino asked.

"Buying a coffin."

"Why?" Everyone had more worry in their tones than they would if they were asking literally anyone else. If this weren't the bitch who killed Style Queen without mercy.

"Because I got a bunch of flammable and explosive things for Christmas, so Gabriel's screwed. But we could always play with it."

"Meaning?" Marinette crossed her arms, "How does one play with a coffin?"

"Fake funerals, so we can practice our eulogies and learn how we do in closed spaces. There're seven of us, and the fandom says someone—cough Adrien cough—is gonna die, so practice, I guess."

"Sounds fun enough." Nino mused, "Will there be snacks like a true funeral."

"Of course. Have you not met me? And we all get a camera, so it can record our reactions inside it."

"I don't know…" Evelyn mused, and Zoe rolled her eyes.

"Evelyn, don't be the one game at Chuck E. Cheese that isn't broken." Evelyn smiled a bit, twirling a strand of her curly hair—that she usually straightened but hadn't bothered that day,

"Fine. When's the coffin getting here." There was a knock at the door and Butler Jean came in with a black coffin and wordlessly put it on the balcony. His expression screamed "I don't want to know."

Chloe turned to look at Zoe, "You knew we would say yes. And you aren't the psychic."

"No. But I am intuitive, not as much so as my sister, or Evelyn the literal psychic, but still."

Marinette threw her hands up, "Alright! But if we're doing this, we need to look dead and wear the clothes we plan to wear when we die."

"Not a problem." Zoe removed her hoodie and revealed she was wearing the same purple dress she had worn when she was almost killed by Hawk Moth, and it was still torn.

"Why do you still have that?" Nino asked.

"For a situation exactly like this, duh. And after Hawky sliced through the itchy shit, it's actually quite comfortable. I sleep in it." Marinette twitched and pulled out a needle and soft thread, restitching the dress without the itch.

"Why are you so not afraid of the guy who will probably try killing you again?" Chloe facepalmed.

"Because I'm ready for it this time. And when has my will to live ever been anything other than questionable. I'm not suicidal, I'm alarmingly reckless and give no fucks."

Everyone just sighed.

And so, they all got makeup applied and they all looked dead. Adrien didn't like it, so Zoe was shuffling towards him slowly,

"Zombie! Back! Get away from me!"

Alya was pretending to film, "To all those who want insight into the relationship of the Agreste children, here it is."

"You look awful." Marinette said to Zoe.

"When was the last time you looked in a mirror?"

"Fuck you."

"I thought that was Adrien's job, because no offense, I don't swing that way."

Evelyn raised a sheepish hand, "I'm bisexual, so I guess I do." Everyone turned to her, before Zoe shrugged,

"Huh. Learn something new every day."

Evelyn smiled and looked at the coffin, "So…who's going first?"

"Well, who here has the power of bad luck?" She and Adrien raised their hands, and Zoe shoved Adrien in. It was to be open casket. He held up the video camera and put the blanket over himself.

"Alright, that's dealt with, who's gonna go first with eulogies?"

Zoe opened a random YouTuber book from Chloe's shelf and pretended to read from it, "Adrien Agreste. What can we say? We mourn him, because I don't know I single person who hates him and whoever does will be the next one in the coffin. You brought a lot of joy to us, buddy." Note how this was supposed to be heartfelt, but her tone was 100% sarcastic, "Sadly, he was killed by a bus. I always said that if something happened, I would throw him under the bus; this is not what I meant." She looked to Marinette, "Mari, what do you have to say?"

"Thank you for being my first real boyfriend, and first love…and you were great."

Adrien groaned, "Close it up, this is getting insulting. Wait, can I breathe in here?"

"I tried it," Evelyn said, "that will not be a problem." They closed the lid, "The safety word is Peaches, but you'll be in there for five minutes otherwise."

"Like Ice Age 3 for the safety word?"

"Yup."

…

Adrien sat in the coffin with the camera, "Huh. The lighting is pretty good. This would be good from social media if I had it. It isn't that bad in here." He squirmed and got comfy until the lid reopened.

…

"Okay, that wasn't too bad. Who's next?"

Zoe hopped in, "Fuck yeah."

Chloe took the Youtuber book, "We have been brought here to celebrate—I mean mourn—Zoe's death. Okay, I know it's mean, but I know at least ten people who either hate or are afraid of her, namely akumas, but that isn't important. Her last words: well, fuck. She also wanted me to tell a couple people on this list to go check her trap room to…um…go look for something."

Zoe laughed, "Bitch. And the trap thing is a very me thing to do. I'll list Hawk Moth, Gabriel, Mayura, Lila, Chloe from a year ago, and I'll have to think about some others." Everyone laughed as they closed it up.

…

Zoe chilled in the coffin, "This is really comfy, I could fall asleep in here. Would all my dreams take place in this coffin? No. That's not how dreams work." She thought about it, "When do bodies start decomposing if they're in a coffin? Because the worms need to get in, and this is a tight fit. If I was a worm, I wouldn't even dare."

…

They opened the coffin and it was Chloe's turn. Except it was so comfy that Chloe fell asleep in seconds, regardless of the sunlight. And she also slept like the dead, which was a problem, as Mayor Bourgeois came to tell them dinner was ready and came across this.

"Chloe! What happened?"

Adrien started with his speech, ignoring the mayor, hoping he'd realize this wasn't a real funeral.

"Chloe was my childhood and first friend, and I still wonder how she died. I am bad at speeches, so I'm just gonna say, I'll miss you Chlo. But I'm done with this not-a-speech." Suddenly, there were tons of servants and they were taking the now closed coffin away.

"Um…that's not good." Nino mused aloud. "But how did he not see her breathing?"

"Chloe sleeps like a log and is surprisingly silent." Evelyn suggested. Alya and Marinette looked to each other,

"So…what do we do?"

"Hold up," Zoe pulled out her phone, "I've got this. She still has my phone, and you know my ringtone for her. Give me Chloe's phone." Adrien handed her the phone and Zoe made a note to have Chloe password protect it. She called herself and she knew her vulgar ringtone started ringing. There were the sounds of shouting and thumping outside the room and five minutes later, a disoriented and annoyed Chloe was being coddled by her overjoyed and more than a little stupid father.

"Chloe my darling, I'm so glad you're alright!"

"I'm fine, Daddy. We were just playing around."

"Well tell me next time, I was so scared! But dinner's ready."

A huge ass thing of Taco Bell was brought up—like American Taco Bell, score! Thank you being in a television show where culture matters little.

The kids enjoyed themselves feasting on food. Adrien thought about more things to do,

"Okay, here's an activity. Think of a job each of us should not have under any circumstances. Starting with Zoe."

"An executioner." They all said in synch.

Zoe looked offended, "Why not?"

Adrien rolled his eyes, "Zo, there are many reasons. 1) You'd take too much pleasure in it. 2) You play with your prey. 3) You are already insane and letting you legally kill people is an awful idea. 4) Criminals on death row get a last meal of anything they want before their executions. If that meal was something you like, you'd execute them before they eat with no shame and would eat the food while being lectured by your boss."

Zoe crossed her arms while she ate a Dorito taco. "I would made an excellent executioner."

"And that's why you must never get the job." Alya said, "I like this, whose next?"

"Um...Adrien…you should never be a food critic." Nino said, "Because you aren't picky, but you hate fancy foods, and would still eat everything because you are deprived of it by your asshole father."

Adrien nodded in agreement, "Evelyn, you cannot be on be on game shows or anything involving guessing, because you're psychic and could cheat your way through, which, while helpful when winning, won't get you very far." Evelyn nodded,

"Okay. Mari, you should never be a reality TV star."

"Why not?" Everyone sent her a look that reminded her of the Troublemaker incident. "Oh."

"Right." Chloe crossed her arms and Zoe smirked, "Chloe, never be a housekeeper. You're too squeamish."

"Correct. Um…Nino…no offense, don't go into fashion. I have seen you wear socks and sandals, and that is simply unacceptable." Everyone nodded, and Adrien pretended to faint in horror at the fashion atrocity.

"What? I was late for school and just threw on what I could find."

Adrien sat up, "Bro…please…don't even think about such in offense again."

"Wow, you get triggered by that."

Zoe smacked him with a churro, before eating it, "Don't say that word! I thought I could escape it in this world!"

Nino laughed, and they turned to Alya, "What about you? What job should you never have?"

Zoe smirked, "National park ranger. No cell service, and no superheroes." Alya gasped and put a hand on her chest, "I would never!"

Butler Jean came in, "It's eleven, you should put a movie on and settle down."

"Thank you, Jean." Chloe said—that's right, she learned her Butler's name! They all cleaned up the food and snuggled up in their next of pillows and blankets by the television.

Evelyn hummed to herself, flipping through the many DVDs, "What shall we watch?"

Marinette looked over her shoulder, "We shouldn't watch anything creepy, so…Disney?"

Alya shrugged, "Tangled. Wait no, I found a Tangled fanfiction with our hero personas. Fireheart is Rapunzel and is Cat Noir's lost sister, Mother Gothel is Hawk Moth, Carapace, Rena and Queen Bee are Flynn without the romance, and Tigris is Pascal. Basically, she leaves to go see the lights on her own and runs into them on the way." (A/N: That was a joke fan idea my cousin suggested to me and I can't not mention it.) "If we watch Tangled, I'll have that stuck in my brain."

Zoe giggled, "I think I read that one. Entangled Lives, right?"

"Yeah."

"Frozen?"

"Nope, there's a fanfiction about that too. Cat Noir is Anna and Fireheart is Elsa."

Marinette turned to her friends, "You two read a lot of fanfiction."

Zoe threw her hands up in surrender, "Hey! I had very little better to do when I was on bedrest!"

Adrien sighed, "Okay…Little Shop of Horrors? It's not Disney, but it's a good movie."

"Okay, we'll do that."

They were supposed to be settling down, but they just ended up singing all of the songs and realizing that Zoe was basically the plant. Marinette joked she'd need to find a shirt that read FEED ME SEYMOUR for her. It was when the movie was over that they all settled down and fell asleep.

"What shall we do tomorrow?" Adrien asked.

Zoe yawned, "We'll see."

A/N: That chapter was just pure comedy, the next one might be as well, because I have no idea when the next episode will be. And remember to review and feed Cheeto!