Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS, OR ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH PERCY JACKSON OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS.
(the rest of the a/n is at the bottom)
After the gods know how long, the Stoll Brothers are back to make their great escape of 2012
Schoe B. presents you with the latest installment of STOLL: The Prank Book!
Enjoy ;)
#10 – The [Prank] Book
xxx
It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining brightly outside, a few fluffy clouds floated in the sky, and there was a pleasant breeze rolling in every now and then. It was the perfect day to be outside.
"GOD DAMNIT!" Travis shouted out exasperatedly as another leaf was blown in through the window. He stomped towards it and exaggeratedly stepped on it, grinding his foot to make sure it wouldn't survive. "Styx," he cursed as he lifted his foot, seeing the leaf, however plastered onto the ground, still perfectly intact.
At this very moment, he was all alone in the Hermes cabin. Connor was in the infirmary recovering from their last misadventure—Mrs. O'Leary swerved unexpectedly, causing Connor to crash into the climbing wall, and Travis to crash into Connor seconds later. He was carried into the infirmary using a stretcher, and Travis stayed beside him holding his hand, sobbing and blubbering random speeches that went, "He was the best brother I could have asked for! HERMES SAVE HIM!"
"Damn you Connor for being M.I.A. right now," Travis muttered angrily to himself. "Damn you Apollo for producing the children that banned me from the infirmary," he continued. "You can't be in here, you're disturbing the peace—BLEH!" Travis said, raising his voice several pitches imitating one of the female Apollo nurses.
In another random burst of fury, he kicked a nearby drawer with full-force. He pulled back and started hopping almost immediately afterward, holding on to his now-extremely-sore foot. "Shit, that really hurt," he whispered to himself. While he bounced, he noticed one of the drawers had opened due to the force of his kick. A single notebook lay inside.
He knew he shouldn't have. Curiosity killed the cat.
But I'm not a cat. I'm Travis Stoll. It can't kill me.
Travis cackled as he reached for the notebook. He scrunched his eyebrows in concentration as he swiped the notebook and pulled back quickly, afraid that the drawer might be booby-trapped and suddenly attack him. When the drawer didn't transform and/or attack him, he began to flip through the pages of the notebook. The familiar scrawl of his brother was on the front page, "PROPERTY OF CONNOR STOLL. PLEASE RETURN IF FOUND, OR ELSE"
"What the—" Travis sputtered. "This is Connor's? Connor writes?" His mouth fell open.
In his hands, written in his brother's magnificent handwriting, was a prankster's perfect weapon. In the notebook were day-to-day recordings of Camp Half-Blood, complete with profiles of almost all of the campers.
"There are even diagrams in here," Travis mumbled, admiring the drawings his brother had done to indicate several things that would affect each camper the most to make any prank fool-proof and 'super-effective.'
He turned a page and found a detailed map of Camp Half-Blood; several green spots were dotted all over. There was a little fold beside the map. Travis unfolded it and found out that the dots actually marked secret routes made all throughout camp, and below were diagrams on where each lead and how to get there.
Travis was aghast…
… And impressed all at the same time.
"When did Connor even make this?" he exclaimed. "And how did I not notice?"
A million-and-one questions were flooding into Travis' brain, and he decided he had to ask Connor—as well as give him a good ass-whooping for keeping this precious notebook a secret—himself.
Knowing that the Apollo kids would never let him into the infirmary, he ran a finger across the map and smirked as he found one of the green dots.
If he couldn't go in like a normal camper, he'd sneak in like a Stoll brother.
They won't even see me coming, Travis let out an evil laugh, looking at the heavens melodramatically.
xxx
Travis sprinted from the Hermes cabin and rolled on the ground as he snuck up behind a tree. His hand was holding on to Connor's notebook tightly. He glanced at it. All he had to do was make it to the back of the Aphrodite cabin and slip into the secret passage marked by the map before anyone spotted him.
"Easy-peasy," Travis said, with a 'psh" and a matching hand-wave movement.
He stepped out of the tree, only to find Mrs. O'Leary bounding toward him. With an accompanied "AHHHHHHHHHH!" he flailed his arms, one hand still holding onto the notebook firmly, as he fled to the Aphrodite cabin.
He nearly crashed into the ground as he turned and headed to the back of the cabin, hearing Mrs. O'Leary's heavy footsteps hot on his trail. Not knowing where to find the passage exactly, he began to jump around behind the Aphrodite cabin. He began panicking as he heard Mrs. O'Leary coming closer when he jumped one more time and was consumed by darkness.
"Wha—" Travis croaked. "Am I shadow travelling?" he asked as he tried to stand up. His head hit something metal, and almost immediately, lights began to flicker on.
Travis looked up at the metal thing he hit and saw a light switch pasted onto the ceiling. He grinned. He just found the secret passage.
"I'm a genius," Travis said as he began marching forward, a slight skip to his steps. He was walking for the-gods-know-how-long when he was met with a sign hanging from the ceiling.
"To move forward, you must solve the riddle at the back of this sign," Travis read. He turned the sign around and found a note plastered to the back, written in Connor's handwriting.
One morning, a man is leaving on a business trip and finds he left some paperwork in the office. He runs into office to get it. The night watchman stops him and says, "Sir, don't get on the plane! I had a dream last night that the plane would crash and everyone would die!" The man takes his word and cancels his trip. Sure enough, the plane crashes and everyone dies. The next morning, the man gives the watchman a $1000 dollar reward for saving his life and then fires him. Why did he fire the watchman that saved his life?
Travis paused for a moment and reread the riddle. He pondered for a few moments, repeating several phrases before coming up with an answer. He started to jump and down out of his excitement.
"I got it!" Travis exclaimed. "He was fired for sleeping on the job!"
He waited for a few moments in silence. He shouted his answer again, but still, nothing happened. Assuming the silence meant that his answer was correct, he ducked under the sign and took a step forward.
BOOM.
A large automaton thrice Travis' size landed in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere. Travis' jaw dropped. The automaton put out a hand to stop him from moving any further.
"That is incorrect," the automaton said. "The correct answer is," the automaton paused. "The watchman was fired because the man wanted to hire Connor Stoll instead!" the automaton said in Connor's voice.
"WHAT!" Travis exclaimed. "That's bullshit! What are you anyway?"
"I am the Connotron 2057," the automaton spoke.
"Oh well then," Travis cleared his throat. "I am the Travitron 3408, please let me through," Travis said, imitating the same mechanical voice as the Connotron 2057.
The Connotron seemed to pause for a moment before stepping aside, "Very well Travitron 3408, you may proceed."
Travis grinned at the Connotron 2057 smugly as he walked past it. He took about five steps before the Connotron kicked him, propelling him forward. He flew into what looked like a wooden crate with wheels. A note was painted on the front of the crate and read, "Congratulations! You are now about to ride the Awesomeness. Please keep all your limbs inside the crate at all times, or else you may possibly lose them. Enjoy!"
Travis was shouting himself hoarse. "WHAT! CONNOR FINISHED IT? HOW DID HE EVEN—" Before he could finish his rant, the Connotron kicked the back of the crate, propelling it forward. Travis held on to the little bar placed in the middle of crate for dear life as it raced forward, dashing through the tunnel with amazing speed.
After about two loops and several more dips, the rollercoaster finally came to a stop. Travis stepped out, feeling his insides knotted and his breakfast starting to come back out.
"Mother of pearl," he croaked, walking in zigzags as he attempted to move forward. "That [censored due to the intensity of the profanity] is so gonna get it once I get out of this damn tunnel [the rest of this is made up entirely of a string of curses therefore it has been censored as well]."
Travis waddled a bit more until he spotted a ladder at the end, and something shaped like a manhole at the top of it. He excitedly ran toward it and began to climb. He pushed the manhole up and slid it out of its place.
He did not expect what would come next.
A waterfall of what Travis felt was slime and glue came rushing down, drenching him. A net that had plopped up from underneath him trapped him in place. The Connotron 2057 stepped forward and snapped a picture of him with a built-in camera.
"Why you little—" Travis lunged for the Connotron, but he was restrained by the net and the superglue. He felt whatever he was drenched with hardening. The Connotron snapped another picture, and Travis could've sworn it was snickering.
Travis waited for what seemed like forever, stuck and with no visible hope of freedom.
Until…
"Travis?"
Connor stepped forward from behind the Connotron 2057, standing guard beside him.
"Connor!" Travis shouted, grateful that his lips hadn't been glued together.
Connor grinned as he stared at Travis. "Yo wassup bro, how goes it?" he said, stifling his laughter.
"I'm stuck."
"Yeah, I can kind of see that," Connor laughed as he poked Travis' frozen body.
"I thought you were still in the infirmary?" Travis asked.
"Just got out."
There was an awkward silence (wherein the Connotron decided to snap another picture) before Travis spoke up.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he nearly growled.
"Tell you what?" Connor asked, feigning innocence.
"Don't you 'tell you what' me!" Travis shouted. "Why didn't tell me you were working on a prank book? It's genius!"
"You really think so?" Connor beamed, annoying Travis further.
"Yesyesyes," Travis snapped. "Were you ever planning on telling me about it?" He was becoming impatient now.
"Of course I was," Connor replied calmly.
"Then why didn't you tell me?"
"Because, as you may or may not now see, it's an unfinished prank," Connor smirked. "I was gonna finish it when we were, well, un-grounded."
"Well, because of you, now I'm undergrounded!"
Connor chuckled. "Good one."
"How is this notebook a prank anyway?" Travis wanted to know. "It just has info on all the campers, which prank would be the best to pull on them, and how to splendid-ify each prank to make it even better. It's basically just the perfect prank book."
"Well it would have been the perfect prank book as well as the perfect prank, had I finished it."
"Wha—" Travis stared blankly at Connor. "Weren't you just writing all this stuff down for future prank references and shit?"
"No, I made it for a prank. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?" Connor exclaimed. "I made that notebook knowing that, eventually, someone was bound to pick it up and read it. I filled it up with all kinds of information—some real, some fake—so that whoever was lucky enough to pick it up would see something about them, get aggravated by it, and start to monitor me, thinking up ways to get back at me."
"But the secret tunnels—" Travis began.
"I made the secret tunnels knowing that whoever picked it up would use them to his or her advantage," Connor interrupted. "Each tunnel has a prank designed to trap whoever used it."
Travis was silent.
Connor pursed his lips. "I didn't tell you because none of it was ready yet. I was afraid you'd go ahead and use one of the tunnels when I hadn't even designed escape routes for most of them… and now lookie here," Connor kicked Travis, who was still uncomfortably frozen, "You're trapped."
"WELL I WOULDN'T BE TRAPPED IF YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THIS STUPID NOTEBOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
"WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ANYTHING I'VE BEEN SAYING?"
"Well, no, not exactly," Travis laughed nervously. "Er… I'm ADHD! What do you expect?"
"I hope a group of echidnas find you here and drag you down to Tartarus," Connor deadpanned. He turned around and left, making sure to retrieve the pictures the Connotron had taken from the robot as he made his way out.
"No, Connor, wait!" Travis exclaimed. "Get me out of here! I'll listen, I promise!"
"TAR—TA—RUS!" Connor shouted from a distance.
The Connotron snapped one final photo before promptly leaving as well.
"Connor! Come back!"
He received no reply.
"Connor?"
Silence.
"Hello?"
Nothing.
"Damn it."
REVIEW!
Ooohhh I know, I know, I disappeared for an awful long time, and I'm sorry! I have no more excuses other than that my junior year was more busy than I expected and drained me of all - and I mean all - my inspiration.
After re-reading everything I've written for the past chapters, I realized how much I missed writing this! So here I am, back again, to (hopefully) finish the rest of this story. This isn't nearly as long as the last chapter, but I do hope it's as funny, or even funnier, because - GREAT GATSBY! - I think my style did change a bit (maybe it matured? I have no idea) but I guess I'm still rusty in regards to writing for this story, so gimme a lil' more time to get the hang of this and I promise you, the rest of the chapters will be loads funnier!
Okay, so anyway, I've had this idea for this chapter for a while, but I never quite figured out how to write it the way I wanted to - which is why it took me so long, oof! But I hope you enjoyed it :) My idea box is still very much open to all who want to put some suggestions it, so feel free!
Shit okay I was supposed to say something for this a/n but I completely forgot...
I really can't remember oh my gosh I feel like Dory from Finding Nemo...
Ugh. Okay. I give up. I'll just live with the knowledge that I forgot something until I'm like thirty, urgh.
Anyway, I just found the riddle online, don't think for a second that I'm clever enough to make up something like that :p ehehe. Travis' answer is the real correct answer to the riddle, by the way. Connor just designed it expecting mostly Athena kids to fall for his prank.
Also, just for a recap, the twins have officially been:
1. Grounded
2. Watered
3. Outer-spaced
4. Sky-ed
5. (And now) Undergrounded!
And they have been turned into:
1. Bottle-nosed dolphins
2. Squirrels
3. Turtles
4. (And for Connor) A stag
What should they try next?
Love,
Schoe :)
PS. I would like to thank Busted for creating the music that I listened to while writing this chapter. I will meet you all in the Year 3000.