Clarke picked up her pace looking at her watch.
She was late for lunch with Raven, but she knew that once she'd told her friend the reason for her delay she wouldn't have minded that much.
She pulled out her phone to call her.
Good Morning
Good Morning Captain
Good Morning Train Passenger
Good Morning Awkward Artist
Good Morning Awkward Princess
Good Morning Princess
Clarke smiled like a goof as she thought of his morning massages.
After she had accepted his Skype request, the first thing that Bellamy had sent her was his number. When he went to bed in the USA time, he'd send a message to her. And now it was almost a week that she woke up to his morning texts.
Every morning was a different nickname. H'd explained saying that, it was because he wanted to try different things so that he could decide what he liked best. Like the dork that -Clarke had begun to know- he was.
This morning though her heart did really skip a beat when she read Princess without the awkward bit. She had a hard time replying to it though. In fact to every text he'd send her, she'd send him the equivalent nickname she could think of,
Goodnight
Goodnight Sailor
Goodnight Train Passenger
Goodnight Awkward Singer
Goodnight Awkward
At the last one he had sent her an (-.-) emoji and she had giggled, cause even then she couldn't bring herself to reply with Prince for some reason.
So this morning she had sent him:
Am I supposed to say goodnight to a Prince?
Of course not.
Clarke had glared at the screen. How was that supposed to help her?
Well, please enlighten me then
About what?
Clarke rolled her eyes
How am I supposed to call you?
Bellamy it's alright
Clarke rolled her eyes so hard that it hurt. DORK.
Big Annoying Dork. Like her father. Oh, they'd certainly get along.
So she had called him
"Hey"
"You know what I mean!" she didn't bother to greet him, her mind was still trying to come up with a clever name
He chuckled and she felt her face go hot "Clarke, you don't need to find nicknames for me, just cos I do it"
She puffed annoyed "I don't do it cos you do it, I do it cos it's fun"
"Then stop stressing about it and go for a simple Goodnight"
"Oh that would mean that I'd lose"
"Lose?" She could practically hear his eyebrow quirking up
"Yeah! I take this really seriously, it's important that we found the perfect nickname for each other.." she squeezed her eyes shut, realizing too late how it sounded
"And why's that?" she could hear the smile in his voice and she flushed
"Uhm" Her heart begun to hammer in her chest "My friends and I.. We all have a nickname for each other, and I figured that.. Are we friends Bellamy?" She suddenly asked holding her breath
"What kind of question is that? Of course we are!" He said after just a beat too long
"I know, I mean, we text practically every day and yeah, but we just met only once, and while I really believe in long distance-born friendships, I didn't know how you thought about it and.. yeah" she trailed away, sitting on her bed
"Clarke, you know things of me that a month ago only my sister and my closest friends knew. You're definitely my friend."
Clarke sighed, a small smile spreading on her lips "That's good to know"
"I think I found your nickname anyway, so.."
Clarke attention snapped back "Oh?"
"Yeah, but I'm not gonna tell you"
"What!?" She asked almost outraged
He laughed "It's not like you're never going to know, but.. I still wanna try a couple of other ones that I have in mind, before sticking to it"
She huffed feigning annoyance "You're so difficult Bellamy Blake"
"Oh but that's why you love me" He joked chuckling
Clarke froze though, and then giggled a little too forcefully "Right. Goodnight Bellamy"
"Good Morning Princess" He replied warmly
In that instant she decided that she wanted him to always call her that. With that exact tone of voice.
Right then all she wished was to be able to see his face while he said it.
Just thinking about it felt like her blood was replaced by warm honey.
She sighed dreamily as she waited Raven to pick up.
You've reached Awesome Reyes, leave a message if you want… Or don't I don't care.
Clarke frowned and started to jog as soon as she was outside the hospital.
When she had finally reached the park, she looked at the picnic table where they usually ate their lunch expecting to see her friend's annoyed expression, but instead she saw nothing. She frowned looking at her watch again. It was twenty minutes later then their usual lunch-time.
She walked the remaining distance between her and the table, sat down, waited five more minutes, and tapped Raven's number again.
Raven was always a couple of minutes late, but then again, as Raven always grumbled it was Clarke that was always a couple of minutes earlier, but anyway never this late.
Someone dumped their bag on the table and she jumped "UGH, sorry I'm late" Raven huffed plummeting on her seat in front of Clarke's "You've no idea what kind of day I had, straight from hell, UGH" her friend sighed palming her eyes.
Clarke relaxed sighing in relief to see her friend being okay, and put down the phone "What happened?"
Raven looked at her with the most murderous look she had ever seen on her face and her eyebrows shot to her hairline "Whoa, I haven't seen you being this angry since we were in Uni, and you'd come home after a fight with.." Clarke frowned trying to remember the nickname
"Dick-Wick"
"Fuck-Wick"
They said at the same moment,
One sighing in exhaustion the other with a slightly amused note in her voice.
Raven massaged her temples "Either way he's an ass and I swear I'm gonna kill him one day or another.." She pulled out her lunchbox and opened it roughly "He's so incredibly annoying at so many different levels, ugh" She stabbed at a piece of chicken in her salad and chewed angrily "Every time he opens his stupid mouth to say, without fail some nonsense, all I can think of is what objects around me, could be easily shoved in his throat and accidentally choke him to death, so that he would finally shut the fuck up"
Clarke blinked and then burst out laughing, Raven looked at her not amused at all
"It is not funny. I literally danced the samba when he graduated and vanished from campus!"
Clarke nodded "Oh, I remember" she said not able to hide her over-amused grin
Raven continued "And now? He's back to ruin my life! Tell me, how the hell is possible that we both ended up working for the same company, in the same building and in the same freakin' lab!"
Clarke pressed tightly her lips, trying not to smile and made a show of thinking about it, going as far as to tap her chin with her index, then she gasped like she was hit by the revelation "Fate!" she wiggled her eyebrows "You're destined to be together"
Raven still looked at her unfazed and threw her way, a balled paper towel, hitting Clarke right on the nose "If that's my fate, I'm willing to stab myself to death with this very fork, right now." She announced bitterly holding up the cutlery with a piece of chicken still attached
Clarke snorted and threw back the paper ball "Ow, Come one, it can't be that bad!"
Raven tsked "You clearly don't remember how cocky he was- still is."
Clarke shrugged "Maybe, but I do remember that he was good-looking and.. Some girls would find cockiness kinda as a turn on"
Raven watched her with a blank expression and then look down at her fork pensively "Seriously, even now I'm fantasying on how fun it would be to plant this fork in his hand" She looked up at Clarke raising her eyebrows "If there's something he's turning on, It's the psycho killer in me.."
Clarke rolled her eyes at her best friend's dramatics and took a bite from her sandwich "So you were late cos of what?"
"For Dick-Fucking-Wick of course! Today was his first day and of course he wanted to make an impression blabbering about some stupid new project that -of course!-" She threw up her hands "Was not doable. Like At ALL. Because, of course, he didn't really think through, the actual mechanical parts!" She stabbed at multiple pieces of tomato "Ugh! So I stayed late cos he wouldn't understand why it wouldn't work and- of course- I had to explain it to him, cos he's a stupid" she stabbed at a piece of chicken "Stupid" by then there was no room for another piece, and Clarke watched amused and only mildly concerned as her friend tried futilely to put another piece on it "ASS!" she finally gave up and put the whole thing in her mouth chewing disdainfully "Finally I saw what time was and rushed here, leaving his stupid ass alone to figure it out. And without doubt failing. I can't believe I have to work with him from now on, UGH"
Clarke giggled, shaking her head "If I had a penny for how many times you 'ughed' I'd probably be really rich"
Raven rolled her eyes "Oh shut up!" she said throwing the paper ball again "So, how's your day going?" she then asked cracking the first smile of the day
Clarke avoided the ball an started fidgeting with the strap of her bag "Actually, I just arrived too.."
Raven widened her eyes in mock surprise "Oh my God! Clarke Griffin was late, what happened? Or wait, should I say what will happen? Cos I'm pretty sure this a sign of the world ending, 2012 maybe didn't happen cos you weren't late, never until Now, the Mayas were three years wrong!"
She bit her lip shaking her head smiling "You done?"
Raven giggled to herself "Yeah, sorry.. Go on" she propped on her elbows on full listening mode
Clarke took a deep breath "I.. I'm a trainee again!" she blurted deciding to go straight to the point
Raven's mouth dropped "No way." Then she jumped up and laughed "No Way!" she rounded the table and squashed a giggling Clarke in a hug "I've been trying to convince you forever!"
When they pulled back Raven shook her head still smiling "What changed your mind?"
Clarke sat back and waited for her friend to do the same before explaining "It was a lot of little things, really.. I remembered what my dad told me just before the accident.. To never lose hope.. And after the accident I think I kinda lost it but, Bellamy made me rethink things and I don't know, I felt it was the right time anyway, so.." She said with a sigh
Raven put up a hand "Wait, wait, wait, what? Bellamy?"
"How come I always catch you on your free times Clarke?" He asked a little puzzled
"What do you mean?"
"Between you being on a trainee program and me being on tour, I'd never expected that we could actually talk this much"
"That's because I left the program" she blurted without thinking
The other end had been silent for a while "For the accident?" he had finally asked a little cautious
Clarke had sighed "No- Yes.. I don't know, I just couldn't concentrate enough when my dad was in a bed two floors from me, it doesn't feel right.."
"Do you still want to become a doctor?"
"Yes" She had answered without a trace of doubt
His voice had softened "Then, I'll say to you what Octavia told me once: Don't ever give up on the things you love, sometimes what we think it's right, it's really not. Don't give up, Clarke"
Clarke looked away "It slipped when we were talking one day…" She looked back at her friend to see her nodding
"So.." With a pensive look she said "Basically, Bellamy changed your mind?"
Clarke flushed "No! I mean sorta, not really.. I quitted cos I was afraid that something would have happened when I wasn't there, and it still terrifies me the thought of something like that happening but.. It's been almost a month since he went stable.. And besides, if he wakes up and finds out that I quitted for him, I think he'd be pissed.. So, yeah" she tried to lighten the mood
Raven smiled knowingly "Yeah, he'd be pissed.." she took a deep breath "But Clarke.. About Bellamy.."
Clarke felt her face grow instantly hot. For God's Sake!
"There, I can't mention his name and you go redder than a lobster with sunburn.."
Clarke grew even warmer. OH MY GOD.
"Okay. I never seen you being like this with anyone so.. You like him?"
She looked up and swallowed "Yeah.."
Raven nodded to herself, and then, before she changed her mind asked "Clarke, are you falling for him?"
Clarke was sure she was going to have an heart attack, her heart was beating so fast "I don't know.." She whispered finally "I.. I know I really like him.."
Raven nodded again "Okay. I just.. I want you to be careful.. He's, you know, a Rock Star so-"
"He's not like that" She said quickly "I only met him once, and five years ago, but I talked to him and I don't really think he's like that.."
"So you know how many girlfriends he had?"
"Yes. One. At least since he became famous, her name is Lilian Melrose.." she answered promptly
Raven's eyebrows shot to her hairline "You've done your research.."
Clarke looked away embarrassed "Yeah.."
"Hey," Raven reached for her hand and held it in hers "If he's the right guy, I'm happy for you. Really. I'm just saying that I never really met him, and I don't know how he is.. I just don't want you to get hurt.."
Clarke softened in a smile and squeezed her hand "I know, I'm lucky to have you.." then added with a smirk "But I feel sorry for him if he ever hurts me.. You know, Raven Reyes will kick his ass"
Raven narrowed her eyes "Damn straight."
Clarke grinned "So do I have to kick Wick's ass for annoying you?"
Raven seemed confused "What's that to do with this, he's nothing to me. He's like a mosquito to me. Annoying, useless bloodsucker, ugh"
"Ookay" That did not go how Clarke wanted it to go. Her dad always said that, you usually tease the ones you love, but Raven and Wick's relationship seemed to go beyond that. Maybe Clarke was wrong. Maybe Raven did really hate Wick.. Or maybe she had yet to realize that she didn't.. Anyway she decided to change the subject before that crazed killer look took over her friend again "The band will come to London, in a couple of weeks.."
That got the desired effect and brought back her friend – from no wonder, fantasising on how to stab that someone – "Really? So, you'll see him again?"
Clarke grinned "Yes, I still don't know the exact date and how long they're staying, he said they had a couple of interviews here and then they had to fly somewhere else.."
"Better than nothing.." her friend offered
Clarke nodded smiling "Yeah, I'm-"
"Oh shit!" Raven suddenly cried reaching inside her bag "I almost forgot! Here, it came after you left, I took it cos I knew I'd see you at lunch, and figured that anyway, you'd probably want to read it as soon as you could.." her friend babbled handing out an envelope
Clarke reached for it with trembling hands "He wrote me another letter.." she murmured reading his name on it "He didn't tell me, he wrote me another letter" She then explained to her friend with a frown
Raven shrugged "Maybe he forgot or just wanted to be like a surprise.." she said with a smile making Clarke smile too
"Maybe"
She sat on the now more than familiar chair after dragging it near his bed.
Envelope still in her hands she leaned so that she could see the last book from the "A series of unfortunate events" inside her bag. She looked back at the envelope and frowned. Saying that she was dying to read it was an understatement.
"Dad, you'll have to wait for the finale I'm afraid.." She whispered holding his hand "I'm going to read something else today.. Bellamy wrote me another letter.." She smiled "Now that I think about it, you probably don't mind at all, do you"
It offends me that you'd think I would!
Clarke's head snapped up, her heart hammering through her chest, to see her father's… still sleeping form.
She frowned and then sighed. Great. Now she was hallucinating her father's voice. Or maybe, she just knew him so well, that she knew what he'd say. She smiled at the thought. In a way he was one of her best friends.
"Okay." She opened the envelope careful to not rip it and pulled out the sheets. Music sheets?
Clarke giggled to herself as a warm feeling filled her.
"Dear Clarke,
I'm still on the plane and I just talked to you but I felt the need to write you anyway. I mean, you can probably tell seeing what I'm writing on.. I didn't have any normal paper but I guess it's the perks of being a song writer. Some way or another I never end up without something to write on."
Would he ever disappoint her? Cos for how was it going so far, she was pretty sure he was pretty close to perfection. Oh, wow, He turned me in a cheesy girl with a Crush. Perfect.
"[…] I kind of felt useless because I couldn't do anything to help. And after the call I feel like you were the one who helped me, to not feel like that anymore. So thanks.. and sorry for not being able to help you. I really wish I could be there, even if I'm not exactly sure how could I help."
Oh. He had no idea of how much he actually had helped her. She made a mental note to tell him later, when he'd call.
"For what you wrote me about him, your father is a great man and I really hope he'll pull through but I want you to know that even if he doesn't, you'd be lucky. Because you'd have his memory and so many people that love you and that would help you to get through that pain."
She took a shuddering breath and blinked away tears that were already pooling in her eyes.
"I should know. My mother died of cancer when I was 19."
She gasped even though, she already knew it. Octavia had told her the second time they met. But the fact that he was writing it down in a letter, meant so much more. He was opening up to her. For her.
"Octavia threatened me saying that if I didn't put the band together again she would move out and never speak to me again. She's so headstrong that I didn't have any doubt about the truthfulness of her words. So I complied and day by day I began to live again. That's when I started to write songs, actually. Before, we just made some covers.. My first songs are nothing like these days ones, they're so so much heavier in a way.. But they helped me to get through all of that.
Music, friends and family.
I also seen it as an outsider with my friend John. He lost his mother too, two years after mine died. I saw him falling in the pit I fell. He quit the band too. But since he had no siblings to take care of, he just quitted life altogether. Actually it was way harder for him, his father blamed him for her death.
He disappeared for a while, no matter how hard me and the guys tried, we couldn't find him for a while. Like me he was determined to go through it alone, because he thought he was alone."
She sighed. She could see herself doing the same. And of course failing because of her friends. No way, Raven would let her isolate herself.
She smiled at the thought.
"It's easy to think ourselves alone when something like that happens, but I want you to know that is not true. It wasn't true for me and not for Murphy. He might have lost his blood family but he still had us. He'd probably kill me if he knew that I'm writing like this about him, but it's you so I don't feel that guilty..
What I'm trying to say is that we need people in our lives that are able to stick our pieces back together when we break. The sooner we let them the sooner it becomes easier."
Will you stick mine together if I break?
She asked silently as a tear fell blurring the ink.
"You'll never be alone Clarke, I can promise you that.
I hope to see you soon again,
Love,
Bellamy"
She exhaled looking up from the letter and at her dad.
"I think you two are more alike than I thought. He's got a thing for speeches too.."
Clarke just had time to turning on the laptop and lay her bag on the ground when Bellamy called.
"Hey princess"
He greeted her as soon as she had accepted the call. He had his playful grin that made her instantly smile back. She definitely liked being call that.
"Hey" She responded simply, her cheeks starting to hurt how wide her grin was.
He chuckled "Still didn't find a nickname for me?"
Clarke cocked her head to a side and bit her lip "Actually, I have one"
Bellamy cleared his throat "Yeah?"
Clarke straightened herself "But, I'm not gonna tell you"
That made him laugh and he shook his head "Nice. I guess I deserved it" he said still chuckling
"I've got news"
"I have something to tell you"
They both announced at the same time, when the chuckling died down.
They laughed again and then Clarke motioned for him to go first "What is it?"
Bellamy beamed "I know the exact date we're coming to London.. We'll land on a Wednesday two weeks from now.."
Clare grinned back "That's awesome! Octavia must be thrilled"
"Oh yeah, considering that she nearly made me deaf with her squeal"
Clarke giggled "I can totally picture that"
The smile never left his face, but it was no surprise. As soon as he saw Clarke, the smile just become part of his features. "So, what's your news?"
Clarke battled with herself what to tell him first, then her eyes found the bag where his letter was safely tucked in "I received your letter.."
"Oh, I.. Well- Yeah.. Uhm" he stuttered endearingly looking everywhere but at the screen, making Clarke softened
"Thank you"
Bellamy gave her a sheepish smile.
"You've no idea, how much you helped me, do you?" she asked resting her chin on her opened palms
"I really didn't do anything.." He uttered with a sad note in his voice looking away again
"You're wrong, Bellamy.." she waited to have his full attention "You did help me. Writing you, helped me"
He smiled "That was you, I didn't do anything, my letter arrived only later.."
Clarke shook her head vehemently "You're not getting it" she said almost irritated "You. Helped me. Okay? I don't know how to explain it, but just the thought of you existing somewhere, maybe singing or playing the guitar, helped me." Clarke took a shuddering breath, shaken by the fact that she had exposed herself so much to him. If that didn't tell him how much of a crush she had, she didn't know what did.
When she looked at him, Bellamy was still frowning, not convinced.
She huffed in exasperation "Fine. Well you helped me after, then."
"How?" he asked stubbornly "We just talked.." he shrugged
"Oh my god" Clarke palmed her face "I'm continuing my trainee program, okay? I did it because of you, punkass!"
That got his attention "What?"
Clarke flushed, "That's not.. I mean- uh" she closed her eyes to regain control of her thoughts "You told me that, I shouldn't give up on the things I love, and that reminded me of what my dad told me, that no matter how bad things seems, there will always be hope, and I guess.. My hope was you.. Writing you, gave me hope, and then you told me to not give up, and.. yeah, You're hope for me, Bellamy, so don't ever think that you didn't help me. You did. You do." She was shaking, her body was way warmer than usual, she was sweating and her heart felt like it was going to fall off her chest if it continued to beat that fast.
"Don't cry, Clarke" he said gently
She touched her cheeks, truly surprised to feel them wet. When did she'd start crying? "I.. I don't" She stuttered not knowing how to disentangle herself from the web that she made by pulling out all the stuff, that before that moment she had safely kept inside of her.
"So you're back as a trainee, huh?" he offered, not commenting further on what she'd said.
Saying that she was grateful for it, was an understatement "Yeah, filed the paperwork this morning.."
"So does that mean that we have to reschedule our phone calls?" He asked playfully
Clarke cocked her head smiling, slowly returning to feel comfortable "We never had a clear schedule with all your rehearsals and gigs, and you know that time zone thing, now it will be even more hectic, I will probably have to live in the hospital, to catch up.." She shuddered at the thought of how much she would have to bust her ass off
"Good thing I'll be there soon, or we'll probably become, those penfriends that write to each other every single day and then just poof no more.."
Clarke arched an eyebrow "Poof? What happens? A witch turn us in a frog or something?"
Bellamy rolled his eyes, but a smile still spread on his lips "You think you're funny?"
Clarke looked at him with an are-you-kidding-me look "Of course, I'm funny."
He nodded "All right, all right, you've gone off tracks though, we were talking about losing contact"
Clarke leaned to the screen and asked boldly "Would you ever let that happen?"
Bellamy smiled a small smile "Never"
Clarke leaned back on her chair squaring her shoulders, drawing strength by his unfailing tone
"Me neither, so.. It's settled then"
Bellamy grinned "It is".
HAAH. It's here Finally! It took me so long. I've being telling myself that I would finish it and post it "Today" for the past 5 days, but I just couldn't seem to finish it. In fact it's longer then the other chaps, I hope it's okay...
Fiuu, My aunt went back in the States, so I have my room and my BED back, so that should be an improvement for my posting schedule..
Also, how are you lovely people holding up, after a week from the finale? *Sends tight hugs* I know, I know.. I think i will never get over it.
That was actually, also one of the reasons why I couldn't post before, I just couldn't concentrate enough to set my mind on this story, cos I was going crazy on headcannons of what the hell would happen AFTER that Finale. IN fact, I have a mini fic about it almost ready. So yeah.. just sayin'
I also found a prompt fic (Jealous!Bellamy) that I wrote some time ago and thought I lost forever, and it made me so happy that now, I'm also ready to take prompts. So if people wants You can send them to my official tumblr : bellarkemylovers
As always, Thank you for sticking with me, Your support means the world to me and this story, so THANKS!
I love you all,
El