Change
Disclaimer: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor anything affiliated.
Summary: Raphael feels change on the horizon. His feelings, body, and brothers are maturing. When Donatello is kidnapped by Shredder, Raphael battles to save him, and with whether his feelings for Donnie are as brotherly as he'd once thought. (Turtlecest. RaphXDon MikeyXLeo)
Chapter 10
Leo sat down in the den after Mikey left. He cradled his head in his hands. What was he going to do now? Mikey couldn't even look at him, and now Raphael was getting wise to it all. Donnie was still missing, and he had no clue what to do.
"Some leader you turned out to be..." He said to himself.
He wondered if he should try to talk to Mikey, but he honestly didn't think it would do much good. He loved him, with all his heart, he loved him, but all he wanted was to protect him. Mikey couldn't learn to depend on him like that. What if something happened to him? No. He couldn't risk it. Mikey was emotional, and a relationship would do nothing, but make that worse. He had to learn he couldn't always have what it wanted, and Leo was giving himself a huge lesson in sacrifice.
He sighed deeply, and let his hands fall, he leaned back, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Master Splinter standing right in front of him.
"What's troubling you, my son?"
Leo fought for something to say, but then decided an indirect approach may actually make him feel better. Moster Splinter had always been understanding and compassionate to all of them, but he was secretive, in general. Leonardo was the only one who saw the strength in his silence. The others found it hurtful, and confusing. "Would you forgive me if I'm vague with you, Master?"
Master Splinter made no expression, but nodded.
"I've ... made a mistake." He confessed, "and I've hurt someone close to me. I can't take it back, and I don't know what to do."
"An apology would be the simple answer, but I sense it is more complicate than that."
Leo nodded. "The thing that I can't shake though... I'm not really sorry for what I did. I just can't..." He realized he was heading for a real confession that he just wasn't ready to make yet, "I don't know..."
Master Splinter closed his eyes and seemed deep in thought, but when he opened them, he smiled. "Leonardo, mistakes come in many forms. As do apologies. Words are not always the wisest course. If what you have done can not be talked about, then perhaps you may show it."
Leo looked at the floor, trying to solve Splinter's riddle. What he could he possibly show Mikey that would make him understand why things had to be this way, and that he didn't hate him or blame him for anything. "But how am I supposed to show how sorry I am?"
"Perhaps it is more about redeeming yourself." With that Master Splinter placed a calm hand on his son's shoulder and headed back to the dojo.
Redeeming? To Leonardo, Master Splinter's words led in the exact opposite direction than he had thought. The only way that he could think of redeeming himself with Mikey was to show him how much he loved him. Apologize for being so foolish, and do whatever it took to prove that. It was like a switch went off in his mind. Michelangelo was right. Absolutely correct. If they had each other... If out of everything, they had grown to love each other without a word about it between them until just yesterday, then how could Leo deny it? How could he fight it?
Love is about finding a way to make it work, and with Splinter's simple sentence that made perfect sense to Leonardo.
He jumped up and ran for the kitchen. He rushed in, but stopped short when he turned up alone. There were sandwiches made on the table, but no sign of the chef. He walked down the hall towards his room. He slowly opened the door, but the room was unoccupied. "Mikey?" He called, but there was no answer. He searched all around there home, and Michelangelo was nowhere inside.
Panic was starting to set in Leo's heart when suddenly, he noticed it. In corner of Mikey's room, his skateboard was missing. He'd gone on his own. Leo walked to Raph's room, and knocked. No answer. He slowly opened the door. "Damn!" He slammed the door, and rushed out of the lair.
...
Mikey rode by himself through the dark alleys of the city. He just needed some air. He was trying anything he could to keep himself from thinking of Leo. He felt like he'd been dumped. He never thought he could feel heartbreak like this. He would have sooner never had sex with Leo, and things stay at the sort of comfortable distance than this.
Now, he just felt worthless.
The night air felt good against his face. He took a deep breath. He felt tears coming up in his eyes, but he managed to fight them. No point in crying now, Michelangelo. It wouldn't help. He didn't believe Leonardo when he said he loved him. Just simply didn't believe it. If he loved him, he never would have used him... and that was exactly how Mikey felt: used.
If Leonardo had no intention on continuing a relationship with him, then why did he allow that to happen? Why did he sex with him? Hell, he started it! He stepped off of his skateboard and made his way into the dimly lit park, heading for his favorite chill-out spot by the river. He made his way to it, and when he emerged from the trees, he almost felt better.
The air was cool and the breeze hit him perfectly. He sat down, and looked out at the river, almost wishing it would rush him away. He sighed deeply. he knew it wouldn't take long for Leo to notice he was gone, and as long as he didn't think the worst, he'd know exactly where to find him. He didn't want him to, but secretly wished for it.
He'd never struggled with his emotions so much. He'd never had to. He'd always loved Leo, but he was mostly comfortable with they way things were. He had never meant to take it further. He regretted it now. It was obvious that Leo just wanted a little excitement, at his expense. The hardest thing to understand for Mikey, was how Leo could intentionally hurt him like that. Of anyone in the world he trusted to protect him, Leonardo was first.
He shook his head, and tried to focus on the beautiful sight in front of him, but he found himself wish Leo was there with him. He took a deep breath. He was slowly accepting the fact that he would never be with Leo. He would have to go back home, and pretend to be ok with it, for the sake of his family.
He jumped when he heard movement behind him, he jumped. The footsteps were coming towards him, and he jumped into the bushes beside him. When they emerged from the park, Mikey's heart jumped into his chest. Standing there, jut like he had been was a turtle. A mutant turtle, just like him and his brothers that he had never seen before...
He held his breath and stared with wide eyes. How could this be possible? Who was he? How could they have never met? Mikey was so confused and terrified, his training was the only thing that kept him from passing out, and it didn't help the sick feeling that came over him at all.
The turtle looked from left to right, scanning the area, but luckily, looking right over Michelangelo. He sat down, and Mikey couldn't help but notice that he looked very sad. He looked out at the water with such wonder, like he'd never seen it before, but the hurt in his eyes was unmistakable. Mikey found himself feeling bad for him, and struggled with whether he should speak to him or not.
He felt a need to reach out. How alone he must feel. Then again, he could be dangerous. Maybe he was just seeing things. He rubbed his eyes several times, but every time he looked up, there sat the new turtle, staring out at the river.
Then suddenly, the turtle bust into tears. Sad, wailing tears, that broke Mikey's heart.
He examined him. He wore no headband, and he had no weapons. He did have a black belt around him, but it was simple, and empty. Mikey just wanted to rush out and hug him, and show him that he wasn't alone, but he had to be cautious.
After a moment, the turtle calmed down, he wiped his face and let out a deep sigh. Mikey was having the worst internal battle of his life. How could he not talk to him? He felt obligated to. Had there been 5 of them? Was he a long lost brother, or was he different entirely. He certainly didn't look different.
Finally, he made up his mind. He walked slowly towards the turtle, holding his breath.
"Um... hey..."
The turtle nearly fell into the water, and when he noticed who was speaking to him, his face read complete shock. He stuttered, trying to say something, but only broken sounds came out.
Mikey kept his distance. "Um... are you ok?"
"You're just like me..." The turtle was obviously mesmerized. He examined Mikey closely, and his eyes never once left him.
"Yeah, I saw that... Where... Where did you come from?"
The turtle finally looked away. "Somewhere I never want to go back to."
"I'm Michelangelo."
"Vincent."
The distance between them seemed odd, but Mikey wasn't going to chance a step closer. "So... you didn't know about us?"
"Us? There are more?" Hiss voice went from sad to excited.
"Well, yeah... didn't know about you though."
"I-I was never told there were more. I thought I was the only one." He looked up at Mikey, fresh tears in his eyes, "Please... I have... no where to go."
Mikey's heart broke all over again for him. But he could he really take him back home? How could he not?
"First... I've got some questions."
Vincent nodded, and sat back down. Mikey inched his way to him, and sat a good yard away from him. "How did you get here?"
"I escaped. I'm a fucking experiment, or at least... I always thought I was. I've lived in a lab all my life."
"A lab? That's horrible. How did you get away?"
"It wasn't easy. I ended up having to hurt someone that I've known my whole life..." Mikey could hear the pain in that, "I just... had to get out. I wanted to see the sky, and go where I wanted, for how ever long I wanted. I'm not a child anymore. I need freedom."
"Everyone does." Mikey thought of Leo.
"How many more are there?"
"I have 3 brothers."
"Brothers? I envy you, Michelangelo. I suppose it's wrong of me to expect you to take me back..."
"I mean, it's not that I don't want to... it's just... I mean... we're mutant turtles. It's not exactly easy to have a safe home to go to. I don't know how my brothers would feel. Raphael would loose his mind."
"Raphael is your brother?"
"One of them, yeah."
"And the others? What are their names?"
"Leonardo, and Donatello."
"Donatello?" Mikey could tell he knew the name.
"You know Donnie?"
"Well, no... it's just... I've heard the name. In the lab that I came from. They spoke of someone named Donatello."
Mikey jumped up. "You have to come with me. Now. Donnie is missing. You have to help us find him."
Vincent stood, but just as they were about to make their way back, Leonardo flew out, swords drawn. He kicked Vincent back and stood in front of Mikey.
"Leo, wait!" Mikey ran between them, "It's ok!"
"Ok? How do you know that you can trust him, Mikey? How do you know he can take us to Donnie?"
"Were you... spying on me?"
Leo let his guard down a bit. "No! I mean... not at first... I heard you talking."
Mikey was still hurt, and had no interest in be lenient with Leo. "I can take care of myself, Leonardo! If he knows anything about Donnie, why not listen? Besides look at him! He's just like us!"
"And you don't find that any kind of suspicious?"
"20 minutes ago, I would've said it was impossible."
"I'm sorry, but..." Vincent's voice made them both jump. "I assure you. I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I'm definitely on your side. If your Donatello is in the same place that I was, I can promise you he is in grave danger. We can help each other."
Leo slowly put his swords away, and looked at Mikey. When he turned to meet his gaze, Leo immediately remembered the reason he had rushed after him, and he almost spilled his heart right there, witness present. He caught himself.
He quickly looked up at Vincent, and said: "Follow us."
...
Raphael crawled out from under the bed, and looked at Donnie. "Who the fuck was that?"
Donatello instantly noticed his annoyed tone, but he blamed the current situation. "Dr. Ian Rain. He-"
"I fucking knew it."
"What are you talking about?"
"We found his ID. I knew he was the one who had you."
"Well, that's only half true."
Raph suddenly remembered. "Shredder."
"Correct."
"Is it really-"
"It's him... Trust me."
Raphael turned so quickly towards him, that Donnie almost jumped back. "Did he hurt you?"
"No.. well, I mean, he did, but I'm alright now..."
Without a word suddenly Raph grabbed Donnie in a tight embrace. Donnie almost melted. "I'm so sorry..." Raph said, almost shaking, "I wasn't there, and I'm so sorry."
Donnie lifted up quickly, but Raph left his hands around his shoulders. "Raphael, it was no one's fault..."
There was a silence, and Raph finally dropped his hands, a bit embarrassed for it. He stepped back and started pacing. He started to think of how they could escape. He walked over to the wall, and started tracing it with his hand.
"It's glass." Donnie said, "But I didn't want to break it and alert the whole place."
Raphael nodded. He figured they could just break it and run for it, but Donatello had a knack for noticing a security measure when he saw one. He saved it in the back of his mind as a last resort. He looked around for a bit, and when he found nothing, he was more frustrated than ever.
"Well, I don't really see any other options here, and if you think I'm going to wait around for that crazy doctor to come back, you're crazy."
"Raph, we have to be smart about this."
"We don't have the fucking time, Donnie! Who knows what they're going to do to you?!"
"Raph, if they really have bombs rigged in the lair, we can't risk it. Our brothers could be killed."
Raphael sighed, knowing that Donatello was right, but it didn't help his attitude, besides, he was still really hurt by what he'd told the doctor. He threw up his hand in defeat and walked away from Donnie.
"Raph... there is something bigger going on here."
"I don't care!" Raph bust out so loud Donnie hushed him, "I could really care less about anything other than getting you out of here, and back home."
"Home isn't safe anymore. They took me in the middle of the night."
"I know they did! And I wasn't there! I get it!"
"Donnie shook his head. "What are you talking about? I'e already said-"
Mid-sentence, Raphael grabbed Donatello, and pulled him closer. He closed his eyes and kissed Donnie roughly...