10
(orange)
"I refuse."
Nico declined my request.
Wait, why? Why would this world's Nico reject me?
I tried hard to think back on the Nico from "that" world.
She was a nice elder sister who wanted to become an idol so much, that she wouldn't even let her younger siblings down.
She wanted be become an idol so much that she studied idols through and through till the whole club classroom was filled with books.
She wanted to become an idol so much that she'd rather be alone in the club classroom for nearly three years.
That's how much she wants to be an idol.
So why, did she refused?
What if...there's something different in this world's Nico?
"...Can you tell me why?"
Due to not being able to understand what this Nico is thinking, I'll have to find out myself.
"I've already told you."
Huh, when?
Nico's face darkened as she saw my questioning expressions.
"I told you last time, we can't beat them, no, you three still can't beat them."
"We talked about it last time, but this has nothing to do with you not wanting to join us..."
"You have really damn bad understanding skills, Nishikino Maki." Nico cut me off.
Uh, well, sorry for that! I don't think many can understand you through all that twist and turn of words!
"You really did well on the LIVE performance. It's pretty close to A-RISE, maybe you could get past the pre-matches."
Nico praised us. So why didn't she want to join?
"But you've got no will."
"...Will?"
"That president of student council only thought about keeping the school; that Sonoda Umi was all about her childhood friend, the UTX girl Kousaka Honoka who was on top of the School Idol world." She said with a venom tone and glared at me. "As for you, Nishikino Maki, your head was just full of trash. You're not intending to take the top spot, not even thinking about being a Pro Idol!"
What Nico said made me feel like I'm really not taking this seriously.
I just followed Tsubasa's advice and gathered the people together.
I just thought about returning to the μ's that I belonged.
"Even if it's A-RISE, they're just being the top in the School Idol world."
I felt uneasy.
Can't believe Nico said that about A-RISE.
A-RISE should be Nico's dreams too, I remember in that world, Tsubasa said that Nico used to give them flowers.
Something's not right.
I finally realized what's the difference between the two club classrooms in this world and that world.
Sure, there were a lot of idol files, but there weren't any from A-RISE.
That's what I noticed first time coming in here.
But as I observed closely, these idol files were almost all Pro Idol files. School Idol files only took up in about ten percent.
I remember in Nico's files, School Idols were supposed to take up about one thirds.
It can't be...this world's Nico...
"Your dream is not becoming a School Idol."
"Oh? Finally got it?" Nico snorted and patted on the file cabinets next to her.
"You're not even close to A-RISE, I won't have any opportunity by joining you, let along being a Pro Idol."
"From my point of view, A-RISE's leader does have the potential of becoming a Pro Idol, but her talents are way behind, at least she's not going anywhere now!"
Wow, Nico actually said that.
"So you're just gonna keep lying to your younger sisters?"
I spoke out of irritation before remembering this wasn't my original world.
It's just that Nico's proud image overlapped with "that" world's Nico, so I said it out loud.
And this little mistake...
Brought Nico's caution level to the highest point.
"Nishikino."
Nico's face was really scary as if she took me for a stalker or psychopath of some kind.
"Why the hell do you know about my sisters?"
Damn. What's left of Nico's feelings for me were all gone like the wind.
Nico stepped over furiously and tried to shove me out the room. She might be petite, but her strength isn't. I struggled but was kept pushing closer to the door.
No, if I got scooted out, Nico would never let me in again.
"I'm sorry...let, let me explain-"
"There's nothing to explain. Get the hell out."
"No, it's just that, I'm just..."
"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up."
I couldn't stop Nico from pushing me, so I hugged her tiny body to stop myself from being thrown out.
"Let go of me!"
Nico pushed with both hands.
"No..."
No, Nico's strength was larger than usual, my hands were losing grip and I could only hold on desperately.
"LET GO!"
Nico carried me easily and started to head for the door.
"Nico, please, hear me out, please!"
"You, can, explain, out, there!"
No, my hands were slipping...
"You wanted to b an idol to make your sisters proud!" My words sounded like moaning.
But after this sentence, Nico's movements stopped, and I found my strength back to hold her.
"Let go."
I looked up at Nico's face.
Have I ever seen Nico so much in sorrow before?
As if she was going to be in tears, but she's too stubborn to cry. The expression made me loosen my hands.
As I released, Nico suddenly collapsed backwards, I hurriedly grabbed her.
I took her to a chair and sat by her, caressed her back to make her feel better. After a while she seemed to be okay, the expression was gone, so I moved my hand away.
"How much do you know?"
About your sisters?
"I knew you had two sisters who worship you very much, and a younger brother, and a mom-"
"That's was a long time ago."
"I have no more family anymore."
Nico said she was going home so I followed her.
I texted Tsubasa, telling her that she doesn't have to wait for me.
I walked beside Nico, trying to recover from the shock, but couldn't.
The "I have no more family anymore.' sentence was too shocking that I couldn't stay calm.
I remember well. Nico had two young sisters and a younger brother. I didn't saw any sign of a father, but judging from the conversations, Nico's mom was always working. Maybe it was a one-parent family.
Nico let me followed her, I guess she allowed it.
We walked silently on the familiar streets. She kept a two-step distance ahead of me.
I knew this meant "she didn't want to talk".
Oh…why did I understand Nico's body language so well? Totally don't get it.
When we finally arrived at Nico's apartment, the sun hadn't set yet, but I felt like we walked forever.
Letters filled Nico's mailbox, but she went in without even glancing at them. She didn't say a word.
That meant there was no one in the house.
"I could only offer water."
"It'll be fine, thanks."
Nico casually filled two cups with tap water, left them on the table in front of me, and drank one of the cups empty. Then she finally looked relieved.
"Where…are your sisters?"
"Not here." Nico said coldly.
"By 'not here' you mean…?"
"Look around. There's only me here." Nico showed that odd scary face again.
Our eyes made contact for a long moment. She sighed.
"They're staying at my grandparents' place."
Until now, I realized one thing. It's that in this world, Nico's family condition was more complicated than I had imagined. And worse too.
"Your mother-"
"She passed away."
Now I'm speechless.
"Fatigue driving. She had a car accident on the highway and died."
"On the day when I first became a School Idol and perform on stage."
"I can't focus on school, School Idol and take care of my siblings at the same time, so I gave them to my grandparents."
"I told them 'I'm gonna be the shiniest star one day, just wait'."
"I gave up my family for what? One and another club quitting requests. What a joke." Nico laughed.
That smile was filled with such grieve as if the world betrayed her.
"My mother was dead because of me, and now I'm spending useless time in this closing down school uselessly."
"I couldn't become a Pro Idol, I let my sisters down and even abandoned them. This, is, me."
"Now you get it? Is your empty head understanding why I rejected you?"
I really do.
The terrible story of the Nico in this world.
And I also understood what Nico wanted.
"Nico-senpai-"
I opened my mouth to found that my tears were rolling down my cheeks like pearls.
"What are you crying for? You feel bad for me?"
No.
"I'm…so shallow…"
I only thought of myself. I didn't realize that the other people in this world were also living, individual beings.
I only thought about returning.
I only thought about going back to the place that made me feel safe.
That's why I'm feeling so sad.
"If you knew, then give up-"
"No, Nico…senpai."
"Huh?"
I wanted to help her.
I wanted to help her out from this miserable life.
"I, Nishikino Maki…hereby ask you to be our companion."
I wanna be her real companion.
"Maybe…you don't trust Eli or Umi, but…please believe in me, I would be with you till the end of your dreams!"
I cried at her.
I gazed at her with all my heart.
Lonely Nico.
She approached slowly in front of me.
"Can I really believe in you?"
I nodded.
"Won't you give up?"
"Even if everyone does, I'll still be by your side…"
"You won't abandon me, won't you?"
"I would be by your side."
"Can I…trust you?" Nico's expression changed. She transformed from a declining person to a timid person.
She opened the lock of her heart and waited for my answer.
"Please believe in me, Nico."
I hugged the tiny third-year.
And-
"WAAAAAAA-"
Nico cried.
She hugged me back and cried.
As if she turned back into a living person with feelings. Human feelings.
As if she let out all the sadness she'd held back for year in her tears now.
We cried together, until the sun set.
"Um, Nico-senpai? I'm going home now."
I smiled bitterly at Nico. The Nico with sealed emotions was already gone.
Now she's like a fledgling, grabbing my clothes, unwilling to let me leave.
"Don't go…"
Okay, okay.
I told my Mom through the phone about I'm going to stay overnight in a third-year's place, then slowly sat on the sofa.
"I'm not going anywhere, Nico-senpai."
Nico cuddled next to me like a child and pouted her lips silently.
How do I put this…
She's so damn cute.
Was she this cute before?
…Well, yeah, probably when she's trying to be chill when she's in deep trouble.
I thought silently and fell asleep with Nico.
"Humph-"
In the morning, Nico changed back as the one I used to know.
Not the one declining the whole world, and not the one like a fledgling.
It was that familiar, unforgettable and troubling Nico.
"You listen up! It was only my emotions going out of control! It's definitely not some sort of…Humph!"
Nico paced back and forth, shy and mad at the same time. She glared at me.
Even though there wasn't a single tingle of rage in her eyes.
"I get it, Nico-senpai, I get it."
After all, it's really embarrassed to cry in front of a junior, let alone not allowing her to go home. If it were me, I would've dug a hole and bury myself into it.
"HUMPH!"
Nico turned around, blushed. She went into the bathroom.
"You take a shower first before going out. Not keeping hygiene is the worst habit of an idol!"
I smiled wryly at Nico.
Totally don't get it at all.
"Anyways, I, head of this club has agreed to you all joining in. Toughen up yourselves, our target is becoming the Pros!"
After school, Umi, Eli, Tsubasa, Nozomi and I came to the Idol Research Club's classroom and listened to Nico's ambitions.
"Um, if you conquer the top of School Idols, that'll make you Pro, right? There's gotta be star scouts coming along-"
"Naïve! Kira Tsubasa, you're so naïve! You're such a sweet girl, sweeter than the Homura Sweets Shop's desserts!"
"No way…"
"Listen up! Image is the most important thing when it comes to being a Pro!"
"Ordinary students without any characteristics such as you, are not going to win over A-RISE at all!"
Nico slapped the whiteboard. It had "Idol Packaging" as the title on it.
"Well, Nico, what are characteristics?" Eli raised her hand.
"Good question!" Nico thumbed up at Eli and groomed her face.
"I, this universe's number one idol, Yazawa Nico, will show you! Look closely!"
She turned her back on us. When she turned back, it was like a different person.
I knew those moves better than anyone.
"Nico Nico Nii! Make your heart Nico Nico Nii! I'm the smile-delivering Yazawa Nico Nico!"
"If you love Nico, you'll have to remember Nico Nico Nii!"
After Nico's signature moves, everyone's face went sluggish or shocked.
"What is that? Totally don't get it."
I strained hard to keep from laughing and watched Nico's stomping cute moves.
If I moved on with this Nico, could I witness the finish line of her dreams?
I'm looking forward to it.