I do not own Harry Potter nor any of it's characters.

The door swung open at once revealing a tall black-haired witch in emerald green robes with a stern look on her aged face. "Firs' years, meet Professor McGonagall!"

"Thank you Hagrid, I will take it from here." she said to the half-giant.

She pulled the door wide to a rather large Entrance Hall. They followed Professor McGonagall across the flagged stone floor. Harry could hear hundreds of voices from the huge doorway to his right.

"The rest of the school must already be in there." whispered Neville.

But the Professor showed the first years to a small empty chamber off to the side, causing the children to have to huddle together to accommodate for the lack of space.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said the woman. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony, because while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.

"The four houses are called-"

After that Harry did not know what she said as he tuned out the rest of her silly musings, having heard all of this from the Earl.

Suddenly a rough shake snapped him out of his thoughts and Harry looked up into the nervous face of Ranger Normal.

"Do you know what happens when you're sorted?" he asked frantically. "I was told it was really painful."

Neville leaned over whispering in Harry's ear. "Judging by what Percy said, it sounds like the work of Fred and George."

"...Who?"

Neville sighed. "Rangers Danger."

"Oh."

Ranger Normal frowned, unhappy at being ignored. "So do you know?" he asked snappishly.

"No."

He rolled his eyes and pushed passed them.

"Hmm, I think he'll be Ranger Rude." said Harry staring after the boy, while Neville snickered.

Then something happened that made Neville jump about a foot into the air - several students behind them screamed.

Harry looked up at the ceiling and felt a wave of relief wash over him. 'So they're here too.'

About twenty ghosts had just streamed through the back wall a glided across the room.

They seemed to be arguing. "Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance-"

"My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, is not really even a ghost- I say, what are you all doing here?"

A ghost wearing a ruff and tights had suddenly noticed the first years.

Nobody answered, so Harry took it upon himself to do so.

"Were the new first years sir, about to be sorted."

The ghosts looked surprised for some reason. "I see, well I hope to see you all in Hufflepuff!" said the fat one. "My house you know."

"Move along now," said a sharp voice.

"The sorting ceremony is about to start. Now, form a line."

Getting in line with Ranger Rude in front of him and Neville the walked out the chamber and into the Great Hall.

Harry was slightly surprised that it was exactly as the Earl had described it. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets.

At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. Professor McGonagall led the first years up here, so that they came to a halt in a line facing the other students, with the teachers behind them. The hundreds of faces staring at them looked like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight. Dotted here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver. Harry looked upward and saw a velvety black ceiling dotted with stars. He heard a bushy-haired girl whisper, "Its bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History."

Harry sighed disinterested by the whole thing and instead found it more entertaining to look at the silly expression of amazement plastered to Neville's face. Looking away again as Professor McGonagall silently placed a four-legged stool in front of the first years. On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard's hat. This hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty.

Noticing that everyone in the hall was now staring at the hat, he stared at it, too. For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then the hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth — and the hat began to sing:

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

if you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

You're in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again.

"So we've just got to try on the hat!" exclaimed Ranger Rude. "I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll!"

Professor McGonagall now stepped forward holding a long roll of parchment.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said. "Abbott, Hannah!"

A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down. A moments pause —

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat.

The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table. Harry saw the ghost of the Fat Friar waving merrily at her.

"Bones, Susan!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat again, and Susan scuttled off to sit next to Hannah.

"Boot, Terry!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them.

"Brocklehurst, Mandy" went to Ravenclaw too, but "Brown, Lavender" became the first new Gryffindor, and the table on the far left exploded with cheers; Harry could Rangers Danger catcalling.

"Bulstrode, Millicent" then became a Slytherin.

"Finch-Fletchley, Justin!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Sometimes, Harry noticed, the hat shouted out the house at once, but at others it took a little while to decide. "Finnigan, Seamus," the sandy-haired boy next to Harry in the line, sat on the stool for almost a whole minute before the hat declared him a Gryffindor.

"Granger, Hermione!"

The bushy haired-girl almost ran to the stool and jammed the hat eagerly on her head.

"RAVENCLAW!"

When Neville was called he looked nervously over at Harry. "Y- you promise you'll be my friend no matter where I go?"

Harry nodded and patted the nervous boy on the head. "Yeah, sure. If you want me to."

Neville smiled and stepped up to the stool placing the hat on his head.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" said the hat after a moment.

Harry nodded as the boy looked at him. Smiling a bit, Neville strode over to his table, a bit of a spring in his step.

Harry wondered briefly why he hadn't been called yet, his last name being Gray he should have gone quite awhile ago.

His wonders were soon answered though when-

"Potter Harry"

Harry looked around wondering if anyone else had his old last name. 'Guess that's me.'

He stepped forward and whispers broke throughout the room.

"Potter, did she say?"

"The Harry Potter?"

He walked over to the woman. "Excuse me, but that is no longer my name."

Eyes widening the woman gasped. "Then what is it?"

"Harry James Gray, ma'am."

She nodded writing it down, causing even more whispers to erupt across the hall.

That last thing Harry saw before the raggedy hat was dropped over his eyes was people craning to get a good look at him.

"Hmm." said a small voice inside of his head.

"Well you seem to be suited for all of the houses don't you? Brains of your gaurdian, yes I know Earl Grey, loyalty to those you love, braveness to protect those loyal to you, and the cunning to protect yourself as well... How about this, where would you like to go?"

"I don't care."

"Now don't be like that this is an important matter."

"Oh. Well just put me wherever Ranger Perfect is."

That hat chuckled. "You really are an interesting one, come visit me sometime, okay?"

"Yeah sure."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

He took of that hat and walked over to the loudly cheering table.

Ranger Rude scooted over patting the seat next to him, but Harry ignored him and instead squeezed next to Percy who was smiling broadly at him.

"I'm so happy." he said patting the boy on the head, though it quickly turned into a noogie. "But why didn't you tell me you were Harry flippin' Potter?!"

Harry stared at the boy as he patted his hair back into place. "But I'm not Harry Potter."

Percy smiled fondly while shaking his head. "Yeah yeah."

They watched as the last few kids were sorted and the headmaster had gotten to his feet.

"Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before I begin our banquet I'd like to say a few words and here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

"Thank you!"

He sat back down and everyone clapped and cheered.

Percy chuckled, "He's a bit mad."

Harry raised an eyebrow and grabbed a turkey leg after dismissing the subject.

"So what's it like to be Harry Potter?" asked a Sandy Haired boy to his left.

Harry blinked. "I don't know."

"Whaddya mean?" said Ranger Rude through a mouthful of potatoes.

"I'm not Harry Potter."

"Yeah you are!" said a wavy haired girl from down the table.

Percy frowned. "Since when was it your opinion that dictated who another is, Mrs. Brown?"

"Yeah, like you can say anything either." Sneered Ranger Rude.

"He can." said Harry, who was now nibbling on a peppermint humbug.

The Rangers Danger grinned. "And why's that?"

"Cause he's my friend. And friends can do that... I think."

Percy smiled resisting the urge to suffocate the child in an embrace.

Looking around Harry pointed and a platter of some strange triangular food. "Hey Ranger Perfect."

"Would you stop calling me that?" grimaced Percy as the twins snickered.

"No. Anyway what is that?"

Looking in the direction of Harry's hand, Percy frowned. "You mean pizza?"

"That is a city in Tuscany of central Italy. I'm talking about the strange food over there."

Percy chuckled. "No Harry pizza p.i.z.z.a the food, which is coincidentally from Italy as well."

"I see, does it taste good?"

"It's pretty-"

"How have you never had pizza before?" interrupted Ron.

Looking disinterestedly at the boy Harry said, "Ranger Rude, it would do you well to stop interrupting us."

With that the rest of the present Weasley family full out laughed as Ron's ears turned a bright shade of red.

"Yes, Harry," said Percy between chuckles. "pizza tastes very good."

"Hmm."

He took a small bite off of a piece and a blushed formed on his pale cheeks, causing some of the upperclassmen nearby to coo.

"It is good."

Percy smiled and nodded.

Suddenly the familiar feeling of being plunged into ice water fell upon him and Harry craned his head to see the ghost in ruffle from the Entrance Hall.

"Hello, Sir Nicholas." chirped Percy happily. "How was your summer?"

The ghost frowned "Dismal, once again my request to join the headless hunt has been denied."

"I can't imagine why you'd want to join them." said Harry who turned back to his slice of pizza. "They're all rather rude people... from what I've heard."

"I know you!" piped the Brown girl. "You're Nearly Headless Nick!"

Harry blinked before looking at the man. "Oh, you're Mr. Porpington."

The ghost laughed. "Why I haven't been called that since I was alive!"

"Oh."

Percy rolled his eyes. "You know the full name of the Gryffindor ghost, but not what pizza is?"

But Harry wasn't listening as he looked up at the staff table at the front of the Hall. He watched a nervous looking teacher attempt to pour himself wine, but fail and spill it on his robes. The teacher next to him seemed to feel his stare and looked into the child's eyes.

A sneer formed on the man's face and suddenly Harry clutched his scar in pain.

Percy looked down to see Harry clutching his forehead.

"Are you alright, Harry?" asked the prefect worriedly.

Dropping his hand as the pain faded, Harry looked up with emotionless eyes.

"Yeah sure."

"If you say so."

"Who is the teacher next to the twitchy one with the turban?"

Looking up at the teacher's table, Percy frowned. "You mean Professor Snape? He's the potions master and the head of Slytherin."

Harry nodded. "I don't think he likes me."

Percy chuckled. "Professor Snape doesn't like anyone."

"Oh. Okay."

The rest of the banquet went without a hitch and after eating so much, Harry was rather drowsy. Nodding off occasionally, he blinked rapidly in attempt to stay awake.

"Are you tired?" asked Percy from next to him.

"Maybe, I don't really know."

"Well, we'll be leaving soon so just hold out until then."

Just then the headmaster stood announcing something about the new year, Harry didn't really know or care what the man had said. The only notable thing he heard was that "The third floor corridor on the right hand side, is out of bounds to anyone who does not wish to die a most painful death."

Harry thought this was a strange way to warn people seeing as it mostly raised one's curiosity rather than scare them, but Harry supposed he was not one to judge. "That's strange." said Percy "He didn't even tell us prefects about this."

"I wasn't aware prefects had so much power." uttered Harry.

The redhead blushed, but still scoffed, "Of course we do!"

"Oh."

"Off you trot!" said the headmaster and they stood to leave.

"First year Gryffindors! Follow me!" yelled Percy and grabbed the cuff of Harry's sleeve, who had turned in the opposite direction.

"You too Harry."

"I wanna go see Neville."

The teen smiled. "That's nice of you, but you'll see him tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

The group of Gryffindors walked off, Percy still clutching Harry's sleeve. The first years stared in awe at the wonders of Hogwarts, well the first years sans Harry.

Percy stopped for the fifth time and finally let go of Harry's sleeve to motion to the staircase they were standing on. "These are the staircases, they can be rather confusing at times, because as you can see" Just then the staircase rumbled into movement, swinging into another direction. "they move."

The children all froze in fear as the 'dangerous' contraption moved except Harry who stared curiously at the floor below.

"Harry don't lean over the banister." said Percy as he made a grab for the boy's collar, but his fingers closed on air as Harry was pulled over the edge.

"Harry!"

"He he he! Little kiddies shouldn't play on the stairs or else Peevsie will push them off!"

Percy was red with anger. "Peeves reveal yourself!"

There was a pop, and a little man with wicked, dark eyes and a wide mouth appeared, floating cross- legged in the air, clutching the front of Harry's shirt.

Harry blinked sleepily and stared at the man with half-lidded eyes.

"Ah a poltergeist, you must be in your destructive stage huh?"

Eyes widening, the being shivered. "H- how do you know that?"

Harry shrugged. "I dunno, but can you put me down, it's a bit scary up here."

Nodding Peeves placed the child back onto the stairs, where he was immediately grabbed by Percy.

"I'm uhh, sorry for scaring you." muttered Peeves.

"It's okay."

And with that the poltergeist disappeared with a pop.

"I swear Harry, you're gonna give me a heart attack one day."

Well that was crap. Do ya'll like the redhead brigade this or should I get rid of it, please tell me in your REVIEWS. Because they're so HELPFUL.

Anyway that was way too fun too write.

Please review!