The only words I can use for a vampire marriage ceremony are hauntingly beautiful.
There were maybe twenty people there. Augustine stood out, a full head taller than the rest of the assembly, with wild black hair and glowing crimson eyes. They were a bit of a lighter shade than Benedikt's, but they still shone with that mad, proud light. A young (looking) woman was always at his side, her soft green eyes glittering and her long auburn hair flowing to her lower back.
"So lovely to see you again, Natalia. Gus," Benedikt grinned, reaching out his hand. Augustine grinned triumphantly and clasped his wrist.
"And this is Jane?" he asked, smiling down at me. I smiled shyly back, and Jordan suddenly laughed.
"Hug me, bitch," she said, reaching out to Natalia, who laughed and enfolded her in a hug.
"You whore," she answered, her Southern accent slight but definitely there. "I missed you."
"Ashton," Augustine said, smiling at Jordan's mate, who smiled back.
"Heath, my darling! Let us go and have a grand seduction," Jordan cried happily, waving manically at the vampire across the room. "I'd say it in French, but then I'd just sound like an asshole."
"And you'd never sound like an asshole, Jordan Dai," Heath answered. The rest of the crowd laughed.
"It's lovely to meet you, Jane," Natalia murmured, as Jordan flounced away with Ashton trailing behind her. Her eyes glowed as she smiled at me.
"The same, I'm sure," I said, reaching my right hand out. She took it, squeezing gently and kindly. Benedikt's arm was wrapped around my waist, and she smiled at it.
"Tally and I have to be getting ready," Augustine said, looking up at Benedikt. "You all can mingle or sit, whichever you prefer."
"My puddin' lurves me," Natalia said, giggling. Benedikt raised an eyebrow, but Augustine just laughed and shook his head.
"Go do something, Tally," he said. "You'll have less weird-time."
"Agreed," she answered, turning and gliding away.
We all sat down after a while, and Benedikt disappeared with his brother.
Then, the ceremony actually started.
There was a violin and a piano playing. The piano hummed out its eerie melody, with the violin echoing and embellishing it. Augustine and Natalia sat at the front of the dim room, crosslegged. Benedikt stood behind his brother, and a girl I didn't recognize stood behind Natalia. Benedikt had his hand on Augustine's shoulder, as if he was keeping him down, and the girl was doing the same to Natalia. I ached to ask Jordan what the symbolism was, but the entire room was absolutely silent, save for the musicians.
"I promise to never leave you," Augustine said.
"I promise to never lie," Natalia said.
"I promise to always hold your hand."
"I promise to never cry."
"I swear that I won't hurt you, or make you shed a tear."
"I swear that I won't walk away during dry harvest years."
"I'll love you forever."
"I'll hold you for always."
The couple's hands now entwined, and they murmured the last words in unison. "And I'll never let you go."
Benedikt and the other girl stepped away, and Augustine grinned his triumphant grin.
"Finally," Nathan said, his eyes widening when he realized how loud his voice was. The rest of the assembly burst into laughter and applause. Augustine and Natalia stood up sinuously, their eyes never leaving each other.
"Lovely, isn't it?" Jordan asked excitedly, standing as she pulled me up and over to the couple.
It had all been so lovely. The words seemed to brand themselves onto my brain, and the music flowed hauntingly through my thoughts.
Jordan flaunted me to everyone, and finally I got to sit down. I was chuckling with a woman whose white eyes sent shivers down my spine, despite her friendly nature. But Jordan called her away from her seat ("Tabitha! Dance with me, bitch!") and I was left by myself, which wasn't altogether bad.
"It was very nice," said a whispery voice. I jumped, startled, as a frail-looking man sat down beside me.
He wasn't oldlooking, per se. But his skin seemed wan, clinging gently to his bones. His hair was thick, black, and healthy, though, and his black eyes glowed strongly.
"My wife would have enjoyed it very much," he continued, a smile twitching onto his face. "Beth enjoyed simplicity. I'm very sorry that she wasn't here to see it."
I blinked a few times, unsure of what to say. His obsidian eyes flickered to the drink I was nursing.
"You must be Jane," he said. "I'm afraid that I have heard little about you, but pleased that most of it was good. You're with Benedikt, aren't you?"
"With?" I asked, my voice slipping up a few octaves. "No, no, not with, I mean, I live with, but I'm not with with. With?"
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Your verbiage impresses even me, Jane."
"Well, you caught me off guard!" I said defensively. "With your... withness."
He rolled his eyes. Then he looked at me, his expression ancient and serious.
"I'm very happy that he has you. I'm very happy that Augustine has Natalia. I'm even glad that Ashton has Jordan, no matter how strange she can be. I'm very... proud. I think that's how I am." He stared musingly at my drink. "Beth would be proud. I'm sure that Beth would love you and Tally. But I can never be sure, can I?"
He suddenly stood and disappeared, bolting away.
"Wait!" I blurted a full second after he was gone. I shook my head and looked back at my drink.
"Well, isn't it just lovely to see you here, Jane."
The blood froze in my veins and my mouth popped open. My grip on my glass tightened, until my knuckles were white. I looked up slowly.
Vanessa smirked at me, with Rider brooding behind her.
"Leave me alone! Get out of here, I never want to see you again!" I shrieked.
Well, that's what I tried to shriek. I managed a couple of vowel-consonant combonations, but pretty much froze up from there.
"We just felt like visiting the lucky couple," Vanessa went on in her whiny voice. "I never even dreamed that you would be here!"
Rider rolled his eyes, obviously bored by her lie.
"... Natalia... invited you?" I managed to say. She tossed her hair and waved her hand. Pshaw.
"No, we weren't invited! We just felt the urge to drop in, say hi," she insisted. "But it is very interesting to see you here. Benedikt brought you?"
I nodded, my lips a thin line.
"Interesting," Vanessa repeated, staring at me with her probing yellow-green eyes. "So how are you, Jane? How long has it been? Six months?"
"Seven and a half months."
Vanessa and Rider looked up, their lips pulling back slightly from their teeth. Benedikt's hand was on my shoulder, his jaw tight. Warmth thawed the ice in my blood.
"May I ask how you came to be here?" he asked. Vanessa didn't answer.
"Just an urge to visit," Rider said easily. "We brought a friend along, as well, maybe you know--"
"You!"
The vampire from the auction was here. And he looked very angry.
"Where's Carmen?" I gasped to Benedikt, struggling against his protecting hand.
"Millie had her," he said, but his voice was unsure. The other vampire was quivering, his malachite green eyes locked on me, his teeth bared in a silent snarl.
"Darius, meet Jane," Rider said cheerfully. "Jane, this is Darius."
Darius and I stared at each other. Benedikt's fingers were digging into my shoulder.
"Lovely to meet you, Darius," Augustine said, stepping forward. The entire party was grouped behind me, twitching and nervous. Natalia's eyes were narrowed.
"Vanessa. I don't recall inviting you or your friend," she said in a clipped tone. "It's rather rude to crash parties, don't you agree?"
Vanessa just beamed, the cat who just killed the canary. I figured she was the kind of cat who would, in all honesty, brutally mutilate the poor damn bird.
"Leave now," Augustine said.
"As in, right now," Benedikt said through his teeth, but Jordan reached forward and grabbed his arm, restraining.
Darius and I hadn't broken eye contact throughout this whole thing. I could see the horrible scenario that Benedikt had laid out for me two days ago burning behind his green eyes. He could probably lean forward and grab me. If Benedikt tried to pull him off, my head would probably go with him. I could picture the other vampires quivering, aching to lick the blood from my headless corpse.
I cringed back in my seat, and Benedikt's grip on my arm tightened. His nails were biting into my flesh. Please, I thought. Please, for godsakes, don't break the fucking skin...
"Of course," Rider said, and Vanessa nodded demurely. "We try not to be where we're not wanted."
"No!" Darius snarled. "No!"
He leaned forward. Benedikt snarled, pulling me up out of my seat and behind him in an instant. My chair clattered to the floor. Rider and Vanessa slipped from the room, smirking.
"Now, now." The black-eyed vampire I had just been talking to appeared out of nowhere, standing between Benedikt and Darius. "This is a party, friend."
Benedikt straightened abruptly, his burgundy eyes wide and his mouth an O of shock. Augustine's jaw dropped.
"Ignatius," Jordan breathed, straightening.
"Dad," Augustine said.
I looked up sharply at Benedikt's face, then at the vampire's. Their features, I saw now, were almost exactly alike.
"I think," Ignatius continued, smiling easily at Darius. "That is would be best if you went home, son."
Darius continued to glare at me, though, and I suddenly felt Carmen's little hand sneaking into mine. I squeezed her fingers comfortingly. She was too far behind me for Darius to see, but I pushed her back even farther.
Darius stood up, then. I could see he wanted to say some tacky villain line ("This isn't over," "I'll be back," yadda yadda) but he instead turned on his heel and disappeared out the door. There was a moment of silence.
"Well, that was exciting," Ignatius finally said, smiling easily.
"Dad!" Benedikt sputtered.
"And you said you never saw him," Carmen said softly.
"Dad!" Benedikt repeated.
"I approve of Jane. She's a lovely girl," Ignatius said, smiling sadly at his son. "I'm sure your mother would have loved her."
"Dad?" Augustine asked.
"Dad," Benedikt confirmed.
"Whoa," Augustine said.
"Natalia, lovely to meet you," Ignatius said, taking Natalia's hand delicately and smiling. Then he chuckled. "Isn't that just the vampire catch-all? Lovely?"
"It is a lovely word," Natalia agreed.
Ashton smiled, his lips pulling back rather eerily over his glittering teeth. "Ignatius."
"Ashton," he replied. He clasped hands with Ashton, then grinned. He looked a lot like Augustine when he did that. "Lovely to see you again."
"We do need a new word," Jordan said musingly. Then she beamed, leaping forward to wrap Ignatius in a hug. "We've missed you so much, Iggy."
"I asked you not to call me that." His voice was doting, though, and he stroked her hair with content, fatherly love.
"And I asked you not to leave. What're you gonna do?" Her charming face soured. "You didn't have to go. Stay, this time."
"Ben, Gus," Ignatius said, maneuvering out of her grasp. He held his hand out, his face hopeful and sad. "Boys?"
Augustine came forward immediately, enfolding his father in a tight hug. He must have said something, because Ignatius chuckled sadly and smiled.
"Missed you too," he said, almost inaudibly.
Benedikt was rooted, his hand tightening, then loosening, then tightening on my wrist. Rhythmically. Desperately. My bones were grinding together under his convusling fingers, but I was silent. His body somehow got impossibly tighter when his father looked at him. I saw the look that passed between him and his father, and I saw Benedikt's jaw clench.
"Benedikt?" Ignatius asked. Augustine pulled away, and his eyes were deliriously happy. That made Benedikt's hand twitch and tighten around my wrist.
"What?" he asked indifferently. Augustine's lips pulled back in a grisly snarl.
"Ben!" he snapped. Benedikt met his gaze coldly, bitterly. Ignatius's wan face crumpled sadly, his black eyes agonized.
"Benedikt, please," he murmured. The other vampires had backed away, slightly unsettled by the sudden frustration. Ignatius held out a hand to his son, and Benedikt stared at it.
I pulled my wrist out of his grasp and looked up at him. He looked down at me, and his eyes were burning angrily. I looked at Ignatius's hand, then back up at Benedikt's face.
"Benedikt," I said, my voice soft. He seemed to cringe away from me. "Benedikt, hug your father."
He scowled down at me. I took his hand and pulled him forward slightly. I saw Ignatius tremble, and his eyes brighten slightly.
"When was the last time you saw him?" I asked.
"When was the last time he visited?" he snapped at me, tugging his hand away slightly, but not enough to break my grip. I tightened anyway.
"When was the last time you went looking for him?" I countered. His scowl disappeared, replaced with a look of hurt confusion. I took the opportunity to tug him a closer to Ignatius.
"You get to see your father," I told him. "You should be happy."
"I'm. Not. Happy," he ground out. "I'm angry."
"I'd be happy," I said. He winced slightly.
"He left," he said, his voice low. His hurt was palpable. I reached up and pushed my fingers through his hair, pulling his head down to press my cheek against his.
"But he came back," I pointed out. His hands were now on my waist, and he clutched at me desperately. He looked over my shoulder, then he eased me away. He stepped gingerly to his father and wrapped his arms around him, under the still seething Augustine's careful supervision. Ignatius buried his face in Benedikt's shoulder, his entire body relaxing. Benedikt seemed to give up then, and his body slackened and his arms tightened around his father.
"I'm so sorry, Ben, I'm so sorry," Ignatius muttered. Carmen was beaming, her dark face glittering like bronze in the sun.
"Are you gonna stay?" she asked excitedly. She reached out and grabbed Nathan's hand, tugging him forward. Nathan's electric eyes widened in surprise. Ignatius chuckled and pulled away from Benedikt to kneel before the little girl.
"What's your name?" he asked. Carmen pulled Nathan further forward.
"I'm Carmen. This is Nathan. We're part of the itty bitty vampire committee."
Ashton snorted and Jordan began practically screaming with laughter. Natalia hid her mouth behind her hand, but her bright, lovely eyes were glittering.
"Indeed?" Ignatius said, in utmost seriousness. "Are you two merely participants, or did you found this... committee? How itty bitty must you be to be eligible to join?"
Carmen's big grin faded, and her brow furrowed.
"I founded it," Nathan offered. "Carmen's the treasurer."
"I'm the one who chases them with a broom," Millecentsaid. She beamed (yes, beamed; she hardly ever smiled around the house, and here she was, grinning like a normal person) and she reached out to give Ignatius a hug. "It's been too long, Ignatius."
"How are you, Millie?" he asked. "Is the estate intact? How is the garden, James?"
He reached out to shake James's hand.
"Everything is perfect. It'll be even better when you're back," James replied, smiling. Ignatius released James and shook Nathan's hand, then bent down to give Carmen a peck on the cheek. Then he looked up at me, his dark eyes shining. He ghosted forward and hugged me tightly.
"Thank you," he breathed. "Thank you so much, child."
He pulled away, and I smiled. Benedikt appeared behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Pleased to meet you," I said. "I'm sure it'll be great for you to be back."
Ignatius didn't answer, just turned to hug Natalia. Then he looked back at Augustine, smiling.
"It was so public, I was surprised. These things are usually small."
"There was enough room for more people," Augustine said, gesturing to the cathedral in its stark glory. There was nothing religious in it. The stained glass windows were deep purples, greens, and reds. The alcoves that should have held statues of saints were lined with velvet curtains and flaunting blood-red roses, snowy calla lilies, black hollyhock and deep purple tulips.
"You're still an arrogant jerk," Jordan said. "These things are usually just the couple. Not that I'm complaining, because, you know, I was invited. I can forgive you if I'm invited."
"Oh, good," Augustine said. "I was worried."
Jordan glanced back at me with a grin. "Damn right. Fear me."
"I'm afeared," Natalia volunteered, leaning back against Augustine. "Shaking in my boots."
"I want some celery," Carmen cried suddenly. We all turned to look at her, and she turned to Nathan with her hand held out.
"Five bucks," she said smugly. Nathan muttered incoherently and handed over a bill. Benedikt snickered.
"Alright, folks, time to dance," Natalia said, clapping her hands at the musicians. "Don't make me go bridezilla on you."
Ignatius took Carmen's hand, and they sat down, apart from the dancers. Nathan went to sit with them. I started to walk over, as well, but Benedikt kept his grip on my waist.
"Dance with me," he murmured in my ear. I hesitated, remember what Nathan had told me about dancing with vampires: A human would die in their arms.
"Trust me," he said.
And I did.
He pulled me onto the dance floor, amongst misty dancers. But rather than whisk me about, rather than fly with the others, he placed his hands on my waist and slowly rotated with me. I leaned forward and rested my head against his chest. The music murmured around me, and Benedikt's scent flooded my head. I heard his faint heartbeat, deep in his chest. I looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back, but something seemed... wrong to me. His face was too white. I reached up and touched his pale, cool cheek.
"When was the last time you fed?" I asked, my voice chiding. "You shouldn't wait so long between meals."
He made a face. "Says the blood bank."
"Seriously though. What if you can't take it anymore, and you just snap? Then what?" I pressed. He rolled his eyes.
"Then I go out," he said.
"Then what am I here for?" I teased. He gave me a look.
"You think I need to drink?" he asked. "Fine."
Suddenly we were flying through the crowd, out the door, into the cool night air. He pinned me against the wall and lowered his head to my throat. I stiffened up inadvertently, and felt his smirk against my jugular.
"What?" he purred. His lips trailed up to just under my ear. "Something wrong?"
"Smart-ass," I muttered. I tried to pull away, but the wall impeded my movement. Benedikt pressed up closer against me. My heart was slamming against my ribs, and I had a suspicion that he could feel it through his stone chest. He fisted his hands in my hair. I reached up and gripped the front of his dress shirt, pulling him closer. His lips traced over my jaw and paused at the corner of my lips. Instead of turning into it, though, I pulled away. He looked at me, his eyes frustrated. I looked up at him solemnly. Then I grinned and lunged forward, pressing my lips firmly against his. He sighed, and his hands pulled me up harder against him.
To save you all some detailed agony, I'll skip ahead five minutes.
He was sitting on a stone bench, one hand in my hair and the other hand on my hip. His lips were still moving slowly against mine, but finally he pushed my head away and pulled me onto his lap. I leaned against his chest again, and he rested his chin on my head. We had our arms wrapped around each other, and I was contemplating how messed up my life was. I had a warped love affair with the vampire that wanted to eat me, and the vampire wedding rite was running through my head.
Why did I love him, though? I tried to make sense of it. My thoughts and feelings used to be so simple, dammit.
Because he was so sad, and I wanted to make him happy?
Because he's so wild and chaotic that I have to keep him in check?
Because I need him to bring me out of the deadness I had felt for five years?
Because when I'm with him I can ask any question, voice any thought, and he will answer me?
I didn't know.
"I promise to never leave you," Benedikt said.
My blood froze, then thawed, almost instantaneously. I looked up at him. His eyes were serious, his expression raw and pleading. I reached up and touched his cheek, still pale, and felt a hint of frustration. Could I help him?
"I promise to never lie," I replied.
"I promise to always hold your hand."
Would he listen to me?
"I promise to never cry."
Could I help myself?
"I swear that I won't hurt you, or make you shed a tear."
How could this possibly work out?
"I swear that I won't walk away during dry harvest years."
What about Darius?
"I'll love you forever."
Was I hurting Benedikt by saying yes?
"I'll hold you for always."
How could I keep us safe?
"And I'll never let you go."
His lips met mine. And at that moment, the only time ever, in my entire life before, I wanted to be a vampire. I wanted him to kiss me without having to hold back. I wanted to be able to keep Carmen from Darius, I wanted Darius as far away from Benedikt as possible. And at that moment, for the first time ever, I was truly, honestly, and blissfully happy.