Thomas: Chapter 10: Before Anything

A/N: Guys, Aleks is not a petite person. She is a size 14 with muscles and she's not that thin but slightly chubby. So if she threw herself at you, it would hurt. Just….deal with Aleks being on the chubby side….please? I love you guys!

Thomas P.O.V

I swayed and fell to my knees as the ship shook with the impact of a cannonball ripping through its side. Splinters, chunks of wood and supplies flew around me as the Navy pummelled us with vicious blows. Heat from the explosion scraped past my face making my hair stand on edge. I could just hear Eduardo and Morgan screaming commands as we attempted to out manoeuvre the enemy.

I staggered up, the sword in my hand feeling too heavy but I ran up to the deck where all chaos had broken loose. The deck was a mess of whizzing cannonballs, bullets and the shouts of the crew as they loaded the canons. The Navy ship was too far away to board, a good move since Captain Morgan and Russell would run them through with their blades before they knew what was happening. Eduardo was switching between acting as a sniper, picking off Navy soldiers on the far away deck, and steering the ship further out into the open ocean. There was no island or shallow beach where we could hide, the shallow waters allowing our ship but posing a threat to the cumbersome Navy war ships; large, with a power artillery but unsuited for chases or fast navigation. The Sirus, on the other hand, was nimble and swift, but could not withstand a constant attack for long.

"Thomas!" I heard a lone voice call my name as I scampered down to join the rest of the crew. I turned around to see Aleks throwing herself at me. I felt her push me to the ground, the crushing impact knocking the air out of my lungs. She shuddered as she fell, arching backwards and her eyes lolling back. With a monumental sigh, Aleks rolled off of me, curling up on the ground as she whimpered. A high pitched wine came from deep within her chest, the sound not unlike that of a wounded animal.

Rubbing the shrapnel from my face and the debris from my eyes, I looked over to where Aleks lay, shuddering and I swear that my heart stopped in that moment and my world stopped spinning. My heart dropped down into my stomach and the sensation of sweet, sticky medicine slipping down my throat caused my stomach to explode in bats.

Two bullet holes were blossoming red flowers on her back.

I kneeled, paralysed with fear as Aleks gave one frightful shudder and the moaning stopped. Heavy breaths from the both of us surrounded the area around ourselves until her one were shallow yet frequent, the empty breath rattling round her lungs.

Crawling over to her, I saw her hands covered in red, sticky liquid and her shirt stained with more blood, claying around her ribcage and stomach. The beginnings of a small puddle oozed out from underneath her and Aleks's eyelids fluttered open and closed, her eyes rolling back into her head. Her breathing was deep and laboured, wheezing as a trickle of the same dark blood crept out from the corner of her mouth.

Frantically, I pushed my hands under her warm form and the disgusting dampness of the plasma pumping out in thick, syrupy gushes. I lifted her up, carrying her bridal style as she went limp in my arms. Running as fast as I could allow, I ran back down below deck.

Please. Please. Don't die. Oh god. Shit. Shit. Shit. It's all my damn fault. My stupid damn fault for exposing my head, without anticipating a sniper in the Navy and the red shock of my hair providing an easy target. My eyes grew hot and my eyelids like chewed toffee; heavy, slick, half adhesive when they closed. Pinpricks jabbed at my inner eye as I pushed back the tears over Aleks's fallen form.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Don't you dare die on me Aleks? Do not flipping dare!

Barrelling my way down the various corridors, I almost stumbled with Aleks onto the wood planks but I managed to steady and recover myself before I found the door to which I desperately needed to get to. Slamming the door wide open, the rusty hinges creaking from misuse, I spied the figure tending upon a battered Russell, covering up in bandages his left arm because of disgusting, maggoty pink flesh threaded through with veins; burned flesh from a canon shot that got too close.

"CHRISTOPHER!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I barged into his cabin. Russell and Christopher looked at my grief stricken face, the limp form of Aleks covered in blood. The blood trickle from her open mouth was dripping onto the floor.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Aleks's P.O.V

The world swayed around my head, the panorama dizzy and distorted as fuzzy shapes transformed into blurry images. My head was rolling, the brain inside feeling hot and tired, drugged and syrupy; too thick, too heavy and too fatigued to think. The air was clay like and hard to push down into my lungs as I struggled to breath, my eyes fluttering open and closed. A metallic taste hung in my mouth, gathered at the back of my throat; dry, and warm and annoying as hell. I tried to swallow some of my spit to take the taste away, but the sluggish liquid wouldn't go down my clogged throat. I started to choke, trying to lean over to spit it out but a sharp stab of pain in my ribcage forced me back down. I lay there, somewhere, just coughing everything out, my chest heaving with my effort. The saliva eventually eased its way down, but the sensation of it moving along was like swallowing a fireball. It scorched my innards, but when it was moving past my stomach it was like an explosion.

I tried to scream but I couldn't, my tongue too thick and heavy all of a sudden, my eyelids reliving the same sensation. My eyeballs hurt like hell, throbbing with heat as I looked up. The blurred edges started to pull themselves together, rearranging in more familiar patterns as the outline of wooden planks, cabinets with all kinds of bottles took form.

Am I dead? I can't remember anything. Where the hell am I, with this rolling and swaying motion? Like a ship… oh right. Pirates. Yep, yep I can get that. But how the hell did I end up in the infirmary? The last thing I recall was the sharp crack of the gun going off in the navy ship, the panic in my veins because I was worried…about what? Not me. Although I should be, judging where I am. The eye patch guy? Eduardo? Events of the night before come rushing back into my mind at an alarming speed, causing a heavy blush spread across my cheeks. Nope. Defiantly not Edurado. Chris…topher? No. Captain?

Oh my good Lord. Thomas. It's Thomas! I force the feelings of victory away as the panic I had felt surges in my veins. They were shooting at the damned idiot. Where is he? Thomas? My heart gives a little squeeze as I think about him. He's like an older brother to me. We do everything together. We fish on summery days. We swab the decks and carry Nathan's supplies. One of us always provides some burning whiskey for the other when we're on duty late at night. His laugh. His laugh is always there in my world. His sunny smile and gentle nature. The affinity to animals.

Could it be he's gone?

No. Go away you fudging tears. I shake away the clouds of fear that swarmed my thoughts, until I remembered. He must be safe. I was the one who was shot. He crumpled underneath me, whilst the two bullets hit me. That explains the pain

So why isn't he here with me?

I must get up. My limbs; they buzz with unspent energy, but are numbed by the stifling heat in this tiny room. A strange tightness surround my lower ribcage area, restricting the movement of my chest. The shallow breaths, which I think are my own, sound like the growls of thunder. I strain to lift my head up from the bed I'm lying on but the movement makes bile encroach up my throat and the world swims in and out of focus. I collapse back down, and the pain from my lower ribs surfaces back up my drunk mind, the ripples of pain momentarily suspended in time. They're followed by a tsunami of crashing anguish as the exploding sensation builds up again, flying open as I open my mouth to make a low whine. One of my arms flies up in reaction to the sensation, pushing outwards as if I could push the feeling away.

Instead, I feel as my sluggish fingers connect with something smooth, hard and cool; slapping against the object. In the second my finger leave the object, the mind bending crash is heard and footsteps come thudding down closer to where I lay. A movement catches my eye.

The door is flung open, shadows dance on the ground, as a young adult, ginger as a bioluminescent carrot, and someone barges into my room; heavily out of breath. I smile weakly up at the hazel eyes clouded with worry, but the corners of my mouth twist into a grimace as the pain shoots up again.

"Aleks!" Thomas yells, good and safe, as he stops himself mid throw to embrace me. He looks down at my covered form, taking in the blood stained cover and bandages, the cracked jar next to my bed. A frown crosses his handsome features as he runs his hand through his hair, letting out a sigh. "You idiot. You gave me a heart attack and damn the bullets, that is what nearly killed me!"

And this may be slightly inappropriate in such a moment but I can't help but notice Thomas has…matured since the incident. He is looking really, really unhealthy at this moment. Heavy bags are under his eyes, dark circles in his otherwise unnaturally pale face. His cheekbones are more prominent than ever and his wrists are stick thin. His eyes are sunken in, although they retain their former glory as well as his hair.

"Thomas" I manage to mutter out from between my cumbersome lips. "Quiet down…." I raise a hand up to my forehead, only to tear it away with a hiss. I'm burning up.

"You….utter imbecile. Why did you do that! Do you know how much you had us all worried? Me worried? It was like you died on us! You are an idiot Aleks!"

"Because I nearly did…."

"That is beside the point. Don't you ever dare do that again or I swear I will drag your ass up from hell itself. Do you know how much my heart broke because you were lying here for three goddamn months, breathing but still, on the brink of death? Christopher told us all that you could die, that one bullet grazed the wall of your lung whilst another tore through a major artery! Do you know how much that killed me inside?! That it was all my fault! Stupid girl!" Thomas was shouting at me, pacing angrily back and forth as he stared at me. I recoiled slightly under the covers, the wound not allowing for much movement, as I felt scared. In the same way Eduardo showed me his softer side, Thomas was showing me his pissed off side. His eyes shot daggers in my direction but I could sense a wave of guilt hanging over Thomas as well, as if he was ashamed of me. Anger flickered in my veins. How dare he? I saved his goddamn life and all he could do was yell at me?!

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" I managed to say with as much volume as my temper would allow. "I just woke up from a coma with two bullet holes in my chest. Those two bullets were meant for your goddamn heart and they would have killed you. It was entirely your idiotic fault for standing up in a freaking hailstorm of snipers with your bright orange hair. You're supposed to be the experienced pirate here! Can't you see I didn't want you to die? You say your heart was broken. If you were dead because I had done absolutely bugger all to save you, I would be shattered. I would be broken, lifeless and guilty for the rest of forever. So don't you dare come in here and start screaming at me." My voice loses its nerve towards the end of my rant, instead becoming more scratchy and faint. The familiar feeling of tears pricking my eyes comes to me, but I push it away instead opting to stare at Thomas, who's standing there with his mouth hanging open like he's been slapped. His skin is stretched thin over his frame and he's so pale I can almost see the blue veins underneath the translucent skin.

"Aleks…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You say that I can't see from your point of view. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm sorry for everything. I know I'm an idiot. I forgot everything in that moment, I'm so, so sorry that you had to take those for me. I'm sorry that you nearly died. When you were out for those three weeks, it was a living hell. Nothing mattered to me anymore, my limbs were operating out of routine, but I keep blaming myself for what happened. I could keep on apologising forever, but the words would never be enough; it would never be enough to take away the pain I caused you." Thomas whispered back to me as he reached out to stroke my hair gently. "I love you too much to let you go."

I reached out my arms towards him as an apology and he walked over to kneel down beside me and give me a light hug, gentle enough not to put pressure on where the bandages wrapped round. He withdrew after a few moments, planting a lingering kiss on my cheek. My heart sped up, fluttering like wing beats of the hummingbird, going at a thousand miles per hour. Thomas was always so sweet and protective, a good friend that is reliable and chivalrous. He always cares deeply about others, and even when he's mad at them, you know he's mad because they done something to hurt themselves. Like now.

"Thomas…" I smiled at him again. "I love you too. You're like an older brother to me. If I lost you, I would be losing myself too." I closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation of Thomas's fingers trailing through my hair. I could feel the tips of his stick thin…wait. "Thomas…" I asked again, pushing his hand away.

"Aleks? What is it?"

"Why are you so ill and starved? What happened to you?" I cried out, examining the hand closely. Nothing but skin and bones. His hand was so frail it was like holding an eggshell; light, delicate and fragile enough to snap with a little pressure.

"I couldn't eat or sleep. I stayed by your side, reading to you the books you bought at the last port we docked at whenever I had free duty. I was so scared that you would die. I didn't want to miss you." He gave me a watery smile and I further saw the cracked lips and dry skin. Dear gods. He said that I nearly died, but here he was; a walking skeleton with an elaborate disguise of skin. Did he know how much it hurt me to see him this way? A dagger was twisting in my heart, turning over and over again; tearing through sinew and ligament.

"You're malnourished!" I exclaimed, reaching out to him with one arm, whilst the other cradled the bandages around my chest. "Go to Nathan right now with orders from me to put you on a high carbohydrate, protein and nutrient rich diet and tell him to feed you immediately. Or else when I shall become well again I will never eat his food again." I waved Thomas towards the door. I watched him with concern flooding my chest. What had I done to him? I don't deserve his worry when I can only cause more harm to him.

"But Aleks…are you going to be ok?"

"Thomas, as much as I regret to inform you, I probably will be ok. I'm not exactly in perfect health, but I think I can last the fifteen minutes you'll be gone to collect food." I blew him a kiss and giggled a little as he blushed and stumbled on his way to the door.

"I'll come as soon as I can with food for both of us." He called over his shoulder as he disappeared through the door.

"You don't have to bring yourself – the food will provide excellent company!" I yelled at his retreating back. I saw his shoulder, thin and stark as they were, move up and down as he laughed, vanishing down the corridor into the kitchen.

I listened out as his footsteps faded away before shifting back to watch the ceiling. I heaved a sigh of relief, feeling my face burn with humiliation and anger; useless and vulnerabtlity. Thomas had suffered because of me. But if I hadn't jumped in front of the two speeding bullets, he would be dead. Either way, the outcome hurt me physically and mentally as I beat myself up over causing one person who I value dearly such pain.

And the truth is that sometimes Thomas makes me feel weird. Like I may love him as more than a brother, but the more I think about it, the more I resent the idea.

On ths ship, Eduardo is the one that makes me feel on edge, exhilarated and magnetised; as if I shouldn't give a damn about anything and anyone, just live my life. Captain Morgan is the one that provides me my determination and earns my admiration in turn, by shaking off his hard past and reconciling himself to the future. He's so strong, able to laugh even though I would have been broken in his place. Christopher is the one that I feel most comfortable with, the one I can spill all my secrets and problems with. He's the shoulder I lean on most heavily and the smile I count on. On the other hand, Russell is the one I compete against and he pushes me to achieve the best I can, the goal of our shared dream. He's the one that makes me feel energetic and focused, driving me on when I fall. Nathan is the one I feel the safest with, the most peaceful and content. Nathan can make me smile and irritated, special and unique. We laugh about random things but our silences also speak volumes to each other. SO where does Thomas fit in?

He's the supporter. he's the one that releases my dreams. The one that restore faith and builds up hope. He's the most undervalued of all the crew members; he's the glue that binds us all together. The peacemaker. The joker and the most loyal.

Sometimes he's solemn and still at others he's laughing and running around. He makes my heart pound and my mind confused, like Thomas is my lover, but he can also silence it; acting like a brother. When I saved him, the only thought was that without him, I would wither away on the inside anyway. If he did die, then the ship would fall apart, I would fall apart and the world of the Sirus Pirates shattered to broken glass fragments. And I couldn't let that happen.

I'm startled out of my thoughts by the unnoticeable return of Thomas, arms full carrying a basket spilling over with all types of mouth watering foods. Fruit and veg pile up, whilst a loaf of bread sticks out it's golden crust. Butter and two bottles of juice as well as honeyed tea threaten to fall out. Yet somehow under this mountain of food, I can still see Thomas's ginger hair poking out behind.

"Thomas?" I laugh a little as he plonks down the food on the bedside table, his eyes dancing with laughter too. "What's the meaning of this feast?"

"I told Nathan what you said and Aleks, by Captain Morgan's hat, Nathan obeyed every word. He was grinning the whole time and I swear I almost thought he was on the brink of crying." Thomas explains as he pulls a stool up next to me. He reaches over and grabs a hunk of bread. He rips it to edible pieces and pops one into his mouth. He chews thoughtfully for a moment before looking back at me again. "Nathan wanted to see you. But I told him to wait his turn. I've got you all to myself for the moment and I waited three months for this."

"That's...creepy. Slightly. But really sweet."

"Hey Aleks, open your mouth. I forgot to feed you." Thomas suddenly says as he holds out a flask full of steaming broth. It smell so good, the refreshing smell of dill and roast pieces of chicken filling my nose. But at the moment, I ignore the grumbling of my stomach and feel the room get hotter as I struggle to make out what he said.

I snap my head round at him, eyes widened and my mouth agape. Say what?

"Uhhhh..." I do a mater goldfish expression as I'm too embarrassed to answer. Thomas grabs this opportunity and lifts a spoon of Nathan's chicken brooth to my mouth, spilling a few drops into my mouth. I flush as a few drops almost escape my mouth. Snapping it shut, I swallow the steaming liquid.

Thomas takes out the spoon and repeats the process until the flask is half finished and I'm almost dead from the suggested intimacy of his actions..

"Hey, Aleks? You Ok? You're so red, I think you might have a fever..." Thomas frowns and leans over, placing a cool hand on my burning face.

And I can't help it. I'm sorry ok?

But I faint.

All because of Thomas.