Entry 10

Awkward? Didn't even come close to describing that day. And I actually thought I was going to die. I could see him standing over my body with a gun ready to end my life. I became entirely grateful for Carlos that day.

"James…wake up…it's Christmas…come on! The kids want to open presents." My eyes fluttered opened and I smiled instantly. Logan was sitting on my waist. His hands were pushed up under my shirt. I could feel his soft fingertips making small slow circles on my chest. He was wearing a stupid "elf" hat and one of the most beautiful grins ever. "Your aunt made coffee…get up. I want my presents and everyone is waiting for you." I sat up fast, making him dig his fingertips into my skin. I wrapped both arms around his back making him come closer to me. He chuckled and slowly dragged his hands down my chest to my abs, and finally pulled them out form my shirt. "You are such a freaking heater." I found his lips with mine and closed my eyes. His hand went up, and ran through my messy bed hair. "I could literally…" He moved his lips to my cheek and to my ear and in-between breaths, spoke. "Lay in your arms, all day. Every day for the rest of my life." He kissed under my ear and sighed pulling closer to me and wrapping his arms tight around my neck/head. I pushed my own hands up under his sweater, slowly rubbed up and down.

"Merry Christmas Logan." I kissed along his neck, that I could reach and he chuckled.

"Merry Christmas James." He pulled always slightly and we locked eyes. "We should get down there before you cousins walk in on this." I could only nod and he slowly untangled our limbs. I wanted to desperately tell him I loved him at that moment. And I wanted to take him in my arms, and never let him leave. But that seemed to forward. It is only day one of our relationship.

As we walked down, him in a pair or my sweats that were a little too big (driving me fucking crazy) I could already smell bacon and eggs being cooked. I could also already hear the kids going on about who got to open first and what one's they were going to open. When we came into view, Anna jumped up fast ran towards us, grabbed both our hands and dragged us to the tree. We sat down, him getting rather close to me and waited for my aunt and uncle to come out of the kitchen. The kids continued to pace around the tree examining every present hoping time would go by faster. All I wanted was to go back up to bed, with Logan, and not get up again. But before I could even think about getting up to get coffee I felt a vibration in my front pocket of my sweater. I pulled it out, opened it quick and smiled big.

"I've never noticed how cute you are when you have just woken up. Sexy hair. –Logan." I glanced over and saw him folding his legs so Anna could sit on his lap. He had his phone in one hand and had a smile on his own face. I chuckle to myself and closed my phone putting it back in my pocket. As I did I felt another vibration and sighed hoping it wasn't Logan again. It was worse.

"Please tell me you and Logan haven't hooked up? –Carlos." I felt a slight panic and turned to Logan. He was eyeing me with one eyebrow raised. I forced a smile and quickly shoved my phone in my pocket. Maybe if I ignored it, he wouldn't text me anymore.

The morning went by rather fast, with wrapping paper, boxes and bows flying everywhere. I got a lot of clothes form my aunt and uncle and even a 200$ gift card from my mom and dad. I made out pretty nice with other random things form random family members, but he one thing that got me was the gift form Logan. It was wrapped up tight, in shiny red paper, with a green bow. It was pretty heavy and thick. I saw him, sitting in front of me, arms resting on his knees. He had a small cute grin on his mouth and I looked around to see my aunt and uncle on the couch holding each other, laughing and giggling in each other's ears. Jimmy and Anna were busy playing with all their new toys so I started opening it up. I noticed he was still watching me and it made me kind of nervous but I continued to tear away the paper. When it was finally gone, I felt my heart explode. It was a leather journal. It was brand stinking new and it was the most beautiful gift ever. I glanced up at him and ran my fingers over the bind. "Logan…this is…beautiful." He chuckled and pushed himself up, and over to me. He sat right next to me, both of us facing away from my family. He gently took one of my hands in both his and rubbed over my knuckles.

"Since the first night you let me cry myself to sleep on your chest, I feel really hard for you James Diamond." His voice was soft and quiet, so no one heard us. "I also woke up early that following morning and kind of snooped around your room." I raised an eyebrow and gave a small half smile and he chuckled. "I found that old journal you've been using. It was torn up kid." I laughed and looked back down at the journal. The edges of the paper were gold and so soft to the touch. "SO I figured if you used that thing so much to write music…don't be made at me for reading the first couple pages either. It's Christmas." Again I laughed and he laid his head, gently on my shoulder. "DO you like it?"

"I love it Logan. It's beautiful." I laid my head on top of his and just stared at it. I really wanted to start writing in it, but just sitting there with Logan, was plenty good enough.

"James? Phone call…" I turned to see my aunt walking towards us, home phone in hand. I reluctantly took it, expecting it to my mom or dad.

"Hello?" Logan continued to rest his head on my shoulder and it made me glow.

"So ignore me…whatever but you have some serious explain Diamond. You've got Logan head over heels." I laughed at how irritated Carlos sounded and glanced down at Logan. His eyes were closed, and he was still rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.

"You don't say."

"Don't me a douche…are you guys…ya know?" I laughed again and looked out the front window. It was still snowing. We probably had two feet out there. "Are you!? The silence is reassuring…"

"Why do you care Garcia?" He sighed and I heard a door close on his end.

"Well because my two best friends just broke up and the one that I've been talking to is completely heart broken and fucked up in the head." He said it kind of quiet but it still rang through my ears. "Kendall thought breaking up with Logan would somehow…fix Logan. Don't ask I don't understand it that much but…yeah. I mean…I saw him yesterday James. He has bags under his eyes, he said he can't eat because he just throws up. I don't know what to do." I felt my own stomach turn and looked down at the leather book in my lap.

"So what am I supposed to do?" I guess i sounded too quiet or even sad because Logan straighten out and looked at me.

"I'm not trying to tell you to do anything…except be careful with him James. He is my best friend. And so is Kendall. Kendal is so torn up about this…and that hurts me. But on the same token…Logan is…fucking crazy about you." My heart skipped a beat and I locked eyes with Logan. He had his eyebrows scrunched in the cutest way and I couldn't help but smile. He smiled back and nodded to the phone in my hand. I shook my head and sighed.

"Carlos…I feel the same way about him." He turned his head slightly and is smile big. "And Merry Christmas bro."

"Jesus Christ James…are you guys together?"

"Yes. Would you like to talk to him?"

"No…no…uhm…how about we hang out today. Go sledding or something? You can bring you cousins and I'll bring my little brother and sister." I smiled and nodded. "Merry Christmas Diamond." We both hung up and I looked Logan square in the eyes.

"What was that about?" I shook my head and he nodded slowly.

"So Aunt Lisa…how about Logan and I take the kids sledding with a few friends?" I turned to my aunt and her eyes lit up like our Christmas tree. "Sound good?" I got the answer form the kids…they started bouncing up and down begging and pleading with their mother for them to be able to go. She agreed fast, but said we needed to have breakfast first. They wined but agreed to help make it. Both Logan and I stood, grabbing our presents and made our way to the stairs. Half way up my aunt yelled breakfast would be ready soon and I shouted back alright, but I wasn't really concentrating on her. Logan went up before me, and I couldn't help but follow his scent, and watch his body move him upstairs. When we got in the room, I kicked the door shut behind me, kind of hard and quickly dropped everything on my computer desk. Logan was putting some things in his bag, so he was kneeling down, but I just didn't really care. I got right in front of him, pushed his bag away, grabbed his face and kissed him hard. He didn't object.

We eventually moved to the bed, after shutting my door, and locking it. I put him under me, letting him wrap his legs around me, while he disparately tried to take control. I wouldn't let him. I put my hands outside his head and pushed down into him hard. A soft moan escaped his lips and it drove me crazy. His hands found the bottom of my sweater and started pushing it up. He got it half way, when he turned his head, breathed out hard and scratched at my back. I continued to kiss him, onto his neck where i left little bites. "James?" I hummed back a response and he moved his hands up to my hair and pet through them softly "How far have you gone?" I froze against his skin and he chuckled softly. "If you don't want to tell me…"

"How far have you gone?" I pushed up and looked down at him. He smirked an di smirked back. "I'm a virgin." He nodded and bit his bottom lip. "Spill Mitchell." He chuckled and turned his head closing his eyes. I bent down and gently kissed along his jaw line.

"I'm a virgin too." I nodded and rested my forehead on his head. "Can I ask another question?"

"Should I just write you a book?" He laughed and I sighed. "Ask away."

"Well…do you think…you could write me a song?" I again sighed and slowly raised myself. I kept my hands outside his head His legs wrapped around my waist and eh giggled raising my sweater some more. He then dragged his fingers over my abs and I smiled.

"I guess I can. I just…it take a while. It would happen like…overnight."

"I understand." We looked straight into each other's eyes and he sighed quietly. "And I can pay you back." I put myself back down and kissed his chin.

"Oh yeah…how?" He laughed and without any warning he squeezed around me tight and flipped us. He sat straight up and dug fingertips into my abs.

"By giving you kiss and hug every chance I can get." I raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Sounds great." He giggled like a little school girl and bent down softly kissing me.

By the time we got to a hill Carlos and I decided to meet up at both of our bodies were marked up by the other. We couldn't stop smiling, or laughing and when we got out of my truck the kids running out quickly he grabbed my hand and squeezed. He leaned into me as we walked up to the top of the hill. We got up and I shivered slightly but then something changed. Drastically. We both stopped at the same time when we saw Carlos standing next to someone else. It was Kendall. I was dead.

SO…I HAVE IT IN MY HEAD HOW THIS WILL END. AND I THINK IT MIGHT BE SOON…AND I THINK…IT WILL BE LIKE…SUPER SAD. SO…JUST A WARNING.

LOVE YOU GUYS!