CHAPTER 10 IN MEMORY OF…

Bella felt warm and comfortable as she emerged from sleep. There were strong arms wrapped around her and she could feel someone breathing. Her hair was ruffled by the air that passed it with each exhale. She could hear birds singing lightly and the sound of the ocean carried to her on the morning breeze.

She smiled as she realized where she was and curled deeper into Edward's chest. His arms tightened around her and she opened her eyes to see if he was awake. He wasn't. He had automatically pulled her closer. She enjoyed the feeling of being encompassed by him.

She peeked at the sky. It was still pink, indicating that it was early. A few fluffy clouds glowed orange in the early morning light.

There was a quilt wrapped around them. She wondered where it had come from - she had no recollection of falling asleep. The memories of the time they had spent before they fell asleep, however, were clear. Her lips tingled as she thought about the kisses they had shared last night. She wondered why Edward hadn't awakened her to go inside, but she wasn't about to complain about their current position.

The house was silent. Everyone inside must be asleep. She figured it wouldn't be long before Seth came bounding down the stairs to find her. If he found her like this, he'd start to get more ideas about Edward becoming his dad. She moaned quietly. The idea of Edward filling the void in her life was appealing to her, but she had no idea how he felt, and she didn't want to push him away by moving too fast.

It was a huge step to get involved with someone. She knew that adding a child to the new relationship mix was even harder. She sighed.

The sound of her sigh was enough to wake Edward.

"Good morning," he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Morning." She tilted her head up to look at him. He was smiling at her.

"Sorry I didn't wake you so you could go inside last night," he purred. "I just couldn't make myself give you up for the night. I hope you aren't too uncomfortable."

"I'm perfect exactly where I am."

He pulled her closer to him, his hands running over her back and her arm.

"I agree," he said, leaning down to kiss her.

She got lost in the kiss. His lips were soft and warm and her body buzzed where it touched his. Desire flowed through her. She wasn't prepared for the rush of emotion and heat that the kiss created.

He deepened the kiss and she responded. The fingers on one hand twisted in his hair. Her other hand moved over his hard chest.

He shifted, moving to hover over her, and she was wrapping her arms around his neck when she heard someone clear their throat.

Edward pulled away, looking for the source of the sound. She pulled the quilt over her face.

"You can't hide, Bella," Emmett mocked. "Now this is some serious blackmail material. Caught in a compromising position on the deck. Mom and Dad will never get over it." He laughed.

"Maybe you should go back inside, Emmett," Edward said.

Bella started to peel herself away from Edward, moving off of the couch. "I'm going to go check on Seth," she said.

Edward grabbed her hand before she could walk away.

"You don't have to leave."

"It's probably best if I do. I wouldn't want to give the entire family a free show," she said, glaring at Emmett while he laughed. "Besides, nature is calling."

"I'll just bet it is," Emmett said.

She rolled her eyes at him.

Edward pulled her hand to his lips. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she smiled at him. "I'll see you inside." She walked into the house.

Edward was ready to kick his brother. He couldn't believe that he'd come outside to interrupt them.

"Thanks a lot, Emmett."

"You should be thanking me. Mom is up and moving. She's going to be in the kitchen soon. Front row seat for the make out session, if you know what I mean."

Edward sat on the couch, pulling his fingers through his hair. "Ugh. Yeah, I really don't think that would have been a good thing."

Emmett sat down next to him. "There's someone else you need to think about when you start playing kissy-face with Bella."

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked. He was totally confused.

"Seth could have walked out here. What do you think he would have made of your little tryst on the couch?"

"Oh. I didn't even think about that." Edward sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

"You need to think about that. I don't mean to pry, Edward, but I'd like to know what you're thinking about your relationship with Bella."

Edward's mouth dropped open from shock. Emmett never nosed into his personal life. Alice definitely would, but Emmett, no way.

"I don't think that's any of your business," he answered.

"I'm making it my business." He gave Edward a hard look, then softened a little as he continued, "I wanted to tell you something last night, but you were with Bella."

"What did you want to tell me?" Edward was curious about what had prompted Emmett to discuss this with him.

Emmett blew out a breath. "Bryce and Seth have been plotting."

"What?"

"Well, after Dad's prayer yesterday, Bryce asked Seth why he prayed for his dad. Seth told him that his dad died and that he wished he had a dad like Bryce does."

Edward could see where this was going, but he wanted to hear the full story. "And?"

"And apparently, they have decided that you would make a good dad for him."

"Oh." He really didn't know how to feel about this conversation. Part of him wanted to bolt, to leave Emmett sitting on the deck alone. He wasn't sure he wanted to think about this right now.

"I don't know if Bella has heard about this. She is not prompting them. This was all Bryce and Seth. Apparently they've discussed why you'd be a good dad. Bryce told Rose all about it during his bath last night, and she told me," Emmett said.

They sat silently for a few minutes. Edward's head was swimming. He knew that he felt whole and right when he was with Bella and Seth, but he wasn't sure if he was ready for any kind of commitment after the whole Tanya situation.

Emmett patted his shoulder. "I'm going to go help Rose with the kids. Think about what you're doing. Bella is great. I love that you are finally dating, but I wanted you to think about the third party who will play a big part in any relationship you have with her."

"He's a great kid. Thanks, Em."

"No problem. Just know that I'll collect on the blackmail later," Emmett said as he entered the house laughing.

Edward sat on the couch for a while, considering how much his life had changed in the last few weeks. His head was swimming. He really was moving on, getting over Tanya. But, he had decided after their breakup that he wouldn't get involved with anyone for a long time – if ever again. Now there were visions of living in Bella's home and holding her every night dancing through his mind. He thought about how it would feel to have Seth call him Dad. It was a nice feeling.

He heard the door open and Bella walked through.

"Hi," he said, standing up to greet her. She took his hand and they walked out onto the open portion of the deck. She turned her face up to the early morning sunlight and he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Where's Seth?"

"He and Bryce have created a 'fort' on the bunk beds in the loft. They aren't ready to come out yet. I think the little girls were heading upstairs to play with them."

She smiled at him as she told him about the blanket that was tucked under the mattress of the top bunk, creating the wall of their little fort. He watched her face as she described the way they were playing. Her hands moved as she told him about the way they peeked out at her. She really was everything he had ever wanted. He felt so confused.

He pulled her closer to him and kissed her head again before ducking his head to kiss her lips.

Esme watched Edward and Bella through the kitchen window. She stood at the sink, the water running lightly over the strawberries and blueberries she was rinsing for breakfast, smiling at what she saw.

She thought back to last June and her very depressed son. He refused to come home to visit, saying his schedule wouldn't allow it. When they surprised him by flying to New York, he refused to tell them anything about what had happened, saying that he didn't want them to hate Tanya. He was still trying to work things out with her at that point. He hadn't known the truth.

Her smile faltered as she thought about what Edward had told her yesterday.

Tanya had injured him in a way that was tough to overcome. Edward had always been a loving person. He was attached to the people he loved, loyal beyond question, protective of them. The thought of him loving someone who could hurt him so much was appalling. And the thought of how he had lost a child – her grandchild – made her physically ill.

But here he stood, with his arms around Bella. His face lit up when he looked at her. And her son, Seth, was a doll. He loved Edward, it was obvious. Edward really seemed attached to him, too.

It felt so good to see Edward smiling like this. She knew by the way they moved together as they stood on the deck that there was a connection between them. In that moment, she was glad he had come home to Forks.

She heard the boys shuffle behind her. They ran for the door to the deck and she watched as they appeared near Edward and Bella. Edward scooped them up, one under each arm, and placed them on his hips. He spun with them, making them laugh. He laughed with them and his face was a study in contentment and happiness.

A tear trickled down her face.

Carlisle chose that moment to walk into the kitchen. "I'm ready to make waffles," he announced.

She didn't turn.

He approached her. "Esme?" She felt his strong hands on her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing against her neck. He reached forward to kiss her on the cheek, and noticed the wetness there.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing." She placed her hands over his. "I was just thinking that my prayers for Edward are finally being answered."

"Oh, really," he said in her ear.

"I've worried so much about him. I knew that he was holding back, not telling us something. I watched his eyes when we went to New York. He was in terrible pain. Then, when he came here for my surgery, he seemed like a lost soul. The fact that he still wouldn't talk to me was very upsetting."

"I know. But, he didn't want you to worry about him."

"Not knowing the problem doesn't stop a mother from worrying. In fact, it makes it worse." She moved her face to touch his. "All I could think about while I was in the hospital was him. The cancer was something to overcome so that I could be here for my son. He needed me more than he was willing to say. I knew that Emmett was happy, and that Alice has the life she's always dreamed of, but Edward wasn't happy."

"You never told me that," Carlisle said.

"You were already worried about me. I didn't want to make you fret anymore than you already were." She smiled at him. "I prayed a lot for him."

"We all did," he whispered. "We all saw how bad he was."

"Now, look at him with Bella. They are made for each other, even if they don't know it yet. Seth adores him. He adores Seth. I really hope they'll give this a chance."

"It's not going to be easy. There are still some obstacles to overcome."

"I know that. But, we made it through some tough times at first. I think they can do it, too." She kissed his cheek. "But, I won't push him. I know that he's working on his fears. He told me that he wasn't sure after Tanya left if he would ever want to be in a relationship again."

"She's here with him, that's a good sign," Carlisle said. He moved his hands, wrapping them around her.

"They spent the night on the couch on the deck," she whispered.

"How do you know?"

"I got up to get a drink around three, I couldn't sleep. I noticed that there was a shape on the couch so I walked over to look at it from the window. When I looked closer, I realized it was them. He was holding her. They looked so sweet together."

"You little snoop," Carlisle teased.

"I'm not a snoop, I'm a concerned mother." She laughed lightly. He pulled her closer.

"You are an amazing mother, do you know that?"

She turned in his arms to kiss him. "Why, thank you Dr. Cullen."

Alice and Jasper came into the kitchen with Jasmine. "Grandma is kissing Grandpa!!" she chanted.

Esme laughed and released her hold on her husband.

"Yes, I was." She leaned closer to her and whispered, "He's pretty good at it."

Jasmine giggled.

"You making waffles, Dad?" Alice asked, quickly changing the subject.

Carlisle laughed. "Yes, I am." He reached for the tap, turning off the cold water that was still running over the berries in the sink.

Bella couldn't believe how tired she felt by three in the afternoon, when they started to load the car. They had played hard all day with the kids – hiking, boating and playing baseball. She hadn't had this much fun in a long time.

Edward's family was gathered outside, saying their goodbyes.

"Can I come back here?" Seth asked Esme as she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'd love it if you came back to our cabin."

"Thanks," he said, hugging her back.

Jasmine bounced over to their car and hugged Seth fiercely. "I'll miss you," she said.

He pulled back just a little, surprised by her enthusiasm. "I'll miss you, too." The adults all laughed.

Alice came over to hug Bella. "It was so good to see you. It'll be a while before we come to Forks again. Maybe we could have lunch when you are in Seattle."

"I'll e-mail you. I'll be there on Wednesday, but I'm having lunch with Angela. Maybe you'd like to join us?"

Tears started to stream down Alice's cheeks. "That would be so nice." She wiped at her cheeks. "Sorry, I cry over everything right now."

They laughed together and Bella hugged her again. She took a moment to thank Esme and Carlisle while Edward buckled Seth into his booster.

Emmett just smiled at her. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow." He came closer and whispered, "At some point, we'll discuss the terms of my blackmail."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'd like to include Rosalie in that conversation."

Emmett moaned and Rose looked at them with her eyebrows raised.

"I'll tell you about it later," Bella said. She watched as Edward said goodbye to Alice and Jasper. She smiled as he picked Jasmine up and kissed her cheek, cuddling her to him for a moment.

Edward wondered why Bella was so quiet on the ride home. After they got off of the ferry and started to drive along the familiar freeway to Forks, he couldn't stand it anymore, curiosity was getting the best of him.

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

"Hmm. Oh, I was just thinking about how nice it was at the cabin this weekend. Seth loved it. It wore him out, he rarely naps anymore, and he is out cold!"

He reached over to take her hand. "I'm really glad you decided to come. It was so nice to show you the cabin and the places that I love."

She squeezed his fingers. "Thank you for taking me there. Your family is wonderful."

"They are, aren't they?"'

She nodded and laid her head back against the headrest, looking out the window. They drove along in silence for a while, their hands clasped tightly together.

"What are your plans for dinner tonight?" he asked her.

She turned to look at him with her eyebrows furrowed and his heart dropped when he saw the look on her face.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to push," he said. He felt like he was making a mistake and he couldn't believe how terrible it made him feel.

"No. Really, you're fine. I was just thinking that I really should visit Jake's grave for Memorial Day."

"Do you go there often?"

"No. I don't like to think about him there. I usually look at pictures when I want to remember him. But, his dad will expect me to go to the grave. It's next to his mother's grave. Billy will spend a good part of the day there."

"When did his mother die?" he asked.

"When Jake was twelve." She turned to look at Seth in the back seat. "It was really hard on him. His dad never got over it."

Edward watched her as she looked back at Seth's sleeping form. "It must be hard to know that he'll never really know his father."

She sighed and nodded. "He's starting to realize that he doesn't have a dad. It's tough to know that he's missing out on things that Jake had planned for him."

They were silent for a while. Edward didn't know what to say or how to act. This was unexplored territory for him.

"Would you like me to take you on the way home?"

She turned to stare at him. "You'd go to the cemetery with us?"

"Yes. I'd like to be there to support you. If you don't mind, that is."

"I think that it would be nice to have you there." She smiled at him.

Bella was in shock when Edward offered to take her to the cemetery. She really hated going there. Every time she stood by the headstone, holding Seth's hand, she felt sick to her stomach. The pain of losing Jake was so real in that place. The date etched into the stone made her heart clench painfully; October 31, 2007.

She always pictured the costumes they'd been wearing. Her memories would wander to the day she left the hospital. The doctor had cut Jake's costume from his body. It was in a bag that contained his personal belongings. They handed it to her as she prepared to leave. She had stared at the blood stained garment in the bag, feeling as though she would throw up. The nausea would strike her again as she stood at his grave.

Most of the time, she brought Charlie with her when she visited. He would hold her hand and talk about other things, helping her to remain focused on the present. She hadn't asked him to come today because she didn't know what time she would be home.

She was dreading the visit – the loneliness and pain. And yet, it was something she needed to do.

Maybe having Edward there would help.

"Is it selfish to want you to go with me so I don't have to face it alone?" she asked him.

He squeezed her hand harder. "Not at all. I don't think I could do it alone. Maybe you can tell me and Seth a little about Jake while we're there."

She told him which cemetery they needed to go to and he continued to drive through Forks toward La Push.

They talked a little as they approached the Quillayute Prairie Cemetery. She could see the long grass waving in the light breeze and the tell-tale crosses that marked this field for what it was. Most of the older crosses tipped slightly, either from the strong winds that blew in off the ocean, or from bored teenagers who tipped them for fun.

Bella froze up when they were turning into the drive. She recognized the black car that was parked on the lane.

"Billy's here," she whispered.

She looked toward the site where she knew Jake's grave was, and she could see his father sitting in his wheelchair, his head bowed low.

"Should I stay in the car?" Edward asked.

"No. He won't mind that you are here with us."

Edward got out of the car and walked around to open the door for her as she woke Seth. They all approached the grave together, Bella holding both of their hands.

Billy looked up at them, his brow wrinkling downward. "I didn't think you'd come today, Bella. I know you had other things you were doing. I wondered if this was important enough for you to do." He glared at Edward.

She felt her heart seize up at his words and she felt awful for dragging Edward over here to face this behavior. "Of course I'd come. I always come on days like this, Billy."

"Grandpa, what's wrong?" Seth said, letting go of Bella's hand and moving forward to climb on Billy's lap.

"Nothing." Billy hugged Seth. "I was just getting worried that I wouldn't see you today. I miss you little man."

Seth hugged him back. "I'm glad you got to see us. I missed you, too, Grandpa."

"Bella?"

"What Billy?"

"I'd like Seth to spend a week on the reservation with me when the tee ball season ends. Would you be okay with that? Rachel will be here at the end of June, she'll help me with him."

She thought for a minute. Her house would be lonely without him, but Billy obviously needed the time with his grandson.

"I think we can work that out."

"I'll call you later this week, then. I think I'll go and let you visit Jake now." Seth jumped off of his lap. Billy waved to them and headed to his car without another word.

"Sorry about that. I didn't know he'd react that way."

"Don't worry about it," Edward said. He bent over, looking Seth in the eyes. "So, Seth, tell me about your dad."

Seth's eyes were huge. "You want to know about my dad?"

"I do," Edward said. Bella felt herself falling for this wonderful man even more than before.

"He was really smart. And he was good at baseball and basketball. I have pictures of him playing. They're in my room."

"Guess what, Seth."

"What?" he asked, bursting with excitement.

"I knew your dad a little. I played basketball against him in high school. He was pretty good."

Edward and Seth talked about Jake and about playing basketball for a little while. Bella stood next to them, amazed at the ease of the conversation. She didn't struggle with being there. She chimed in a few times, telling Seth about watching the games in high school.

Finally, she said. "I think it's time we go get something to eat. And you need a bath, Seth!"

Edward smiled at her. He reached down and swept Seth up and onto his shoulders. "We're ready."

"I'll meet you at the car, if you don't mind," she said.

He looked at her. She was smiling slightly. "Will you be okay?" he asked.

She nodded. He turned and walked to the car with Seth.

Bella knelt by the headstone, plucking a few long blades of grass away from it. She placed a small picture of Seth in a plastic holder against the stone. She'd been carrying it all weekend for this reason.

"He's beautiful, Jake. He looks more and more like you every day. He's a lot like you, too. His smile lights up a room and he's always positive and sunny. My life is better because I have him."

She took a deep breath and continued.

"I've met someone and I'm dating. It's Edward Cullen. He brought us here today. He seems to love Seth. I just wanted to tell you. I hope its okay. At first, I felt a little guilty, but Sue says you would want me to be happy. I think she's right. I'll always love you, Jake."

A tear trickled down her face, but she was amazed at the feeling of peace that swept over her. She wiped the tear away.

She heard a small voice that seemed to be carried on the wind, "Be happy."

"I will be happy," she whispered and stood to walk to the car.

Edward was taking in Bella's face as he took them home. Something had changed. She seemed lighter, more at ease.

"Did you enjoy our trip to the cemetery?" he asked.

"I'm just glad you were there with us."

"I liked your stories, Edward," Seth piped up from the back seat. "Would you like to see the pictures of my dad when we get home?"

Edward nodded. "You bet, sport."

He pulled into their driveway.

"Sounds like you are coming in for dinner and pictures," Bella said, smiling at him.

He hopped out of the car and they all headed inside. He followed Seth to his room and watched him pull a handful of pictures out of his nightstand. They were sitting at the foot of the bed, looking at the pictures, when Bella stepped into the room.

"Dinner's ready." She smiled and Edward felt like he was right where he belonged.

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A/N I know, we're back to a little sadness…and a little misbehavior on Billy's part.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know. Review or come visit me on my thread on the Twilighted forum. I love to hear what you're thinking!!