DISCLAIMER: I neither own Glee nor the characters. They are the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. This is purely for fun. Enjoy! :)

A/N: It's been a rough week for us Finchel fans. Here's some more angst for you, in case you haven't had enough already.

Chapter Ten

If it makes you less sad

I'll move out of the state

You can keep to yourself

I'll keep out of your way

It wasn't easy spending Christmas Eve with your ex-girlfriend, and unfortunately for Finn, he had to find that out the hard way. He tried to think of things to do to preoccupy himself throughout the afternoon, but the temptation was still there to escape back into the solitude of his bedroom and wait the rest of this holiday out. However, that wouldn't be friendly behavior, and he was struggling enough with keeping things platonic between them without having it feel weird, forced or awkward. It didn't matter anyway; weird and awkward were the only emotions he could identify with right now, and he didn't even have the luxury of video games or decent TV to keep him distracted.

They finished decorating the tree in relative silence; he was trying to keep things normal after his impromptu kiss and he wanted to punch himself for being so weak around her. His lips still tingled, his heart still ached, and he hated being so vulnerable. Being alone with her was enough of a challenge, keeping things neutral was proving to be downright impossible. He over-analyzed every movement, every sigh, every pull of her lips until he was convinced that his kiss had no effect on her at all. This was the girl who had practically chased him around the country, and now she could barely look him in the eye.

He spent a lot of time that afternoon thinking about the word she had used before: oxymoron. He knew that she wasn't trying to call him stupid, but he couldn't help but feel offended still. How could she possibly understand how he was feeling right now? She had no idea how torn and upset he'd been since the moment he pulled her unconscious body out of that snow bank and carried her back through the storm. One minute he wanted to yell and blame and ignore her, the next minute he wanted to see her smile genuinely, and kiss away all of the tension and sadness that had been plaguing them since they broke up. If he was acting oxymoronic in any way, then it was definitely her fault.

All he had to do was keep his thoughts (and lips) to himself for the next 36 hours and then he was free of Rachel and the way she made him feel. He refused to get into another pointless argument about the past; things had to stay neutral and light between them or else they were going to spend the most awkward Christmas ever.

They went downstairs to the diner after they had finished decorating the tree; Finn had mentioned Christmas dinner and Rachel wanted to make something special for them to eat tomorrow. If they had to spend the holidays together, they might as well make the most of it, and Rachel was the one to offer making the meal. He didn't know how much he would be able to help with cooking, seeing as he could barely cook grilled cheese properly, but he promised he would try.

He unlocked the diner and let her into his place of work, suddenly very conscious of her opinions of his job. He knew it wasn't glamorous, nor was it very clean, but he watched her like a hawk as she rummaged through the diner's pantry and walk-in refrigerator.

"I think I found enough stuff here to make a vegetarian lasagna. Would that be sufficient for a holiday dinner?" She called out from inside the walk-in fridge. "Ooh, there's enough fruit here to make a tart or a pastry or something." He smiled at her enthusiasm. Normally he had a huge turkey dinner with loads of sides and plenty of different cakes and pies, but he was willing to eat whatever she was willing to prepare.

"Sure, sounds great." She came out of the fridge with her arms fill of goods and dumped them into Finn's arms while she went to get some more. She came out again with some puff pastry sheets, a few more cans of goods, and a glowing smile.

"Ready to go?"

He knew he was ready to return upstairs, but something kept him in his place as he tried to juggle the fruits and veggies in his arms. "What do you think of the diner?" The question came spilling out of his mouth without preamble and he regretted it instantly. She looked surprised at his question and didn't answer it right away.

"It has a certain charm to it, that's for sure," she said eventually. She took a deep breath while she looked around. "But are you really planning on staying here, Finn?" He could hear the disappointment in her tone as some zucchini threatened to tumble from his grip. "I mean, you have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to spend your important formative years working in a place like this?" As calm and even as her tone was, he couldn't help but feel criticized for his choices.

"I'm getting paid really well and I'm practically living here for free. What else do I need?"

"Family," she said simply. "Friends. Football. Glee club."

"I don't need those tings anymore," he said bitterly.

"Well, have you ever stopped to think how much we need you?"

"Stop it, Rachel. You know I've made my decision. I'm staying in Michigan and that's it!" He expected her to start crying, or launch them into another epic argument.

Instead she just shrugged, smiled, and headed for the door. "Oh well. Can't blame me for trying." She exited the diner without him and he scrambled to chase after her while still trying to balance the food in his arms. He might have lost a carrot or a pepper on the way upstairs, but he knew they would survive.

When he entered the house Rachel was already in the kitchen, putting away their "groceries" and setting up the supplies they would need to cook. He just dumped the produce in the sink and stood there while she moved around the kitchen at lightening speed.

"So I figure we can split the veggies in half and make a big salad for us to eat tonight. The rest we can save for the lasagna tomorrow, we won't need that many. I have to make it half with cheese, you know, in order to follow my strict diet regimen." She was talking a mile a minute and he could barely keep up with her. "I was able to find some cooked chicken, so I'm gonna dice them up and throw them in your salad. I got you some bacon bits, croûtons and ranch dressing as well, Finn, because I know you think most salads taste like grass. Does that sound okay?"

That sounded freaking delicious, actually. "Um, yeah, perfect."

She was standing right in front of him with an expectant look in her eyes, and eventually pointed towards the vegetables in the sink. "So, are you going to help me, or not?" That snapped him back to reality, and he nodded slowly while walking over to the sink to start washing the produce. He didn't recognize some of the vegetables he was washing, but then again, he'd always been a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He would try them in Rachel's recipe though. It wouldn't kill him to taste it.

They fell into a manageable silence while preparing their simple Christmas Eve dinner. They out away the food that they were saving for tomorrow and started cutting up the vegetables for dinner, and Rachel even started humming a light tune under her breath. It was actually nice, and Finn thought that maybe they would be able to survive this holiday after all.

"So what are you going to do about school?" Her simple question broke the silence between them and Finn thought for a moment that he might have just jinxed himself. He shot a glare at her from his position across the kitchen and she backpedaled. "I mean, I know you're planning on staying here, but what are you planning to do about your education?"

He shrugged to himself, trying to focus on not chopping off his fingers while contemplating Rachel's question. "Well, I hadn't really thought of that before now." He'd been trying just to survive this weekend, he had no idea what was going to happen after the new year. "School was never my strong point, maybe I should just drop out." A loud bang resonated in the background and for a moment he thought that Rachel had hurt herself. He swung around to face her, only to stare into her furious, chocolate brown eyes. He looked down at her cutting board and her perfectly quartered tomato slices were now uneven and dripping everywhere.

"You cannot be serious."

"About what?"

She threw her hands in the air in frustration. "You're not seriously considering dropping out of school at age sixteen!"

"Why not? I could make so much money if I worked instead of going to school. Maybe it would be better that way."

She hadn't broke eye contact with him yet, and he thought he could see the sheen of tears glaze over her eyes. "Please don't."

"Huh?"

"Please don't drop out of school, Finn." She sounded like she was begging. "I can handle you dumping me, I'll move on. I can handle you staying in Michigan because I know you will be safe." She took a deep breath as her voice cracked. "But I couldn't stand knowing that you gave up on yourself. You're so much better than that." No matter what had happened between them she still believed in him, even more than he believed in himself. "Even if you found a decent night school program so you could still work in the day, that would be better than throwing away your education."

"Rachel. . ." He was speechless as he watched a tear fall from her eyes and he reached over to wipe it away softly.

"You could be so amazing if you stopped being so scared all of the time." She sniffled lightly as her words cut him in half, making him feel raw inside. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid." He could barely convince himself of this fact, so Rachel definitely wasn't swayed.

"Then why do you keep running away? Why do you keep giving up on yourself?"

"Because it's better than failing all the time!" The answer exploded from him and their peaceful evening atmosphere was now tainted with his pain. Why did she have to care so much? Why did she always have to push him to his breaking point? Why couldn't she just leave him alone so he could fuck up his life without witnesses? "I'm not the leader anymore, Rachel. I can't lead shit. Not glee, not football, not even my own life."

"You're wrong," she said firmly as her lips settled into a straight line. "You might think that about yourself, but I know you, and I know you don't give up that easily." Her eyes softened as they stepped closer to one another unconsciously. "I know I messed up our relationship and I could never apologize enough for it, but don't use that as an excuse to mess up the rest of your life." He moved closer to her still, like she was a magnet and he couldn't resist her pull. How could she still be so inspirational and compassionate after everything that had happened between them?

"Promise me you won't drop out of school. Please, Finn."

"I promise." He couldn't just say no to her while she was practically begging him to stay on the right track. She was right, and he knew it, but that didn't mean he had to admit it. She inspired him though, in a way. If Rachel Berry thought he was capable of doing it, than he probably could. "You really think I can do it?"

She smiled at him then, so brightly that he was convinced that he could do anything in that moment. Rachel still believed in him, so that had to mean something.

"Of course I do." He couldn't resist the pull of her any longer, and he crushed her body towards him for a hug that managed to melt away all the remaining tension and doubt.

He could do this.

Rachel believed in him.

You are so fragile and thin

Standing trial for your sins

Holding onto yourself the best you can

You are the smell before rain

You are the blood in my veins

As she tried to even out the mistakes she'd made cutting the tomatoes, Rachel could feel Finn's eyes on her from across the kitchen. To be honest, she was still upset with Finn for even mentioning the possibility of dropping out of school, and just the idea of it made her heart ache in her chest. There was no way she was just going to stand idle while he ruined his life, which was one of the main reasons why she had chased after him in the first place.

Hopefully, she had set him straight during their little conversation. It wasn't the first time she had used tears to get her way, but this scenario was much different than before. This time her tears and concerns were genuine, and the sentiment behind it all was real. But he'd promised her that he wasn't going to give up on school after she left, so all she could do was hope that he followed through with it. She would be leaving in little over a day, and she had no way to keep in contact with him once she left.

But what would she do once she got home? Without Finn, what did she really have in Lima to look forward to? Glee club was perfectly capable of going on without her, and Kurt was the only person she could call a true friend and he didn't even go to her school anymore. She contemplated this while she put the finishing touches on their meager Christmas Eve dinner. Finn offered to set the table, and the two ex-lovers sat in the small dining room and ate their meal in silence.

She caught Finn staring at her throughout dinner, and she got caught doing the same as well. She thought about their hug, and how much she missed being close to Finn, and feeling that special connection that they had always shared. They used to be so comfortable with one another, and it was a harsh contrast to how volatile their time together had been for the past two days. She was convinced that she was never going to get that feeling back and deep down she knew she should just get used to it. She had one day left and she could practically feel the clock ticking away.

They cleaned up their mess from dinner, and Rachel decided to start making the sauce for their lasagna now so she didn't have to spend all day cooking tomorrow. She took out the cans of tomatoes and some dry herbs and started to prepare the sauce. Finn just stood there in silence, staring at her while she tried to focus on anything but him.

"Do you need anything, Finn?"

"Um, no. Not really." He shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the other. "Do you want help with that?"

She smiled softly at his offer but kind of wanted to be alone for a little while. She needed time to decompress and she didn't really need the help anyway. "That's very sweet of you to ask, but no. Why don't you go watch TV or something?"

She was positive that her dismissal was clear, but he still didn't leave. "Couldn't you have just bought that from a can?"

She sighed as she tried to open up a stubborn can of tomatoes. "Well, yes, but I prefer making my own sauces because I try to stay away from preservatives or anything that isn't natural." She struggled with the ancient can opener and passed it over to Finn who was able to open it the rest of the way. "If I were at home I would have used only pure, organic products, but I'm sure this will be just as healthy." He stared at her with innocent curiosity in his gaze.

"Why are you doing all of this?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Rachel. The dinner? The decorations? I don't get it."

"What's not to get, Finn? It's Christmas." She said simply.

"Yeah, and you're Jewish!"

"So? I know how much Christmas means to you and I respect that. I'm trying to give you the best holiday possible; we don't even have any presents, so this is the least I could do." She continued preparing the sauce and Finn eventually nodded his head and backed out of the kitchen, leaving her alone. She had to admit that he'd been acting weird all day, and she was getting whiplash from all of his mood swings. First he was fighting with her, then he was kissing her, then he was barely speaking to her. Now things between them were supposed to be friendly, but she couldn't help but still feel awkward.

He disappeared for a while after that; she didn't hear the TV in the living room and part of her was afraid that he had disappeared into his room again for the night. The clock ticked past 8pm and to her, it felt like her day had lasted a lifetime. She didn't want to imagine what else could go wrong for their last day tomorrow, or if they were actually going to share their final day in peace. The thought of leaving on Sunday was making her anxious; as much as she wanted to escape the roller coaster of emotions she faced while being stuck with Finn, part of her was convinced that she would never see him again. Sure, he might come home eventually for holidays and vacations, but they would have no roles in each other's lives anymore. Just the thought of being a stranger to Finn was enough to make her eyes sting and her vision go blurry. Instead of thinking about Sunday, she focused on packing away the finished sauce in containers for tomorrow.

By the time she popped the lid on the last Tupperware container, Finn had finally emerged from his bedroom, and he stood in the kitchen staring at her softly while she washed her hands.

"There you are. I thought you were hiding from me again."

"Naw, you're not that scary anymore. I figure If I can survive a fight with you then I could survive anything." He laughed and she smiled in return. When was the last time he'd genuinely laughed around her? She'd missed this feeling more than anything.

He walked forward with his trademark crooked smile and all of her defenses were on high alert. That was a dangerous smile to be flashing around, and she felt the familiar fluttering of butterflies as she walked forward to meet him. She noticed that he was holding both of his hands behind his back like he was hiding something, and her interest was officially piqued.

"You hiding something from me, Finn?" She asked as a joke but was stunned when he passed her a small box wrapped in green Santa Claus paper. The box was light but it had a familiar shape to it as her heart started pounding uncontrollably. She almost couldn't hear him over the blood pounding in her ears.

"It has to be fate or something. The day I left, I dumped out my backpack because I wanted to get rid of everything that reminded me of Lima and, well, you basically." She tried not to let that sting too much. "But your present was hidden in the side pocket, zipped away, as if it knew I would see you again." She opened up the box and her breath caught as she stared at the shining gold star necklace. The light sparkled off of the floating diamond and the tears blurred her vision once more.

"You're a real star, Rachel. You're better than everyone in Lima and you don't need anything or anyone to hold you back. Just because I can't be with you, doesn't mean I don't believe in you. Just like you believe in me." His words were filling up all the holes in her heart that he had left behind. They might have had their differences, but Finn still believed in her. The knowledge was enough to give her the final closure she needed for their relationship. She was ready to face a life without Finn, because she knew he would always be in her heart.

He would always be her biggest fan.

"Finn. . ." He was the only person on the entire planet who had the ability to render her speechless and she struggled to find the words to express what his present meant to her. Unfortunately, she wasn't feeling very eloquent, so she settled for something less emotional. "I don't have anything to give to you."

"Yes you do." His hands were holding hers, grasping onto hers like a lifeline and she never wanted him to let go. His hands were warm, and large, and engulfed both of her hands and the box at the same time. "You made me dinner. You gave me focus, and a new goal to work for."He smiled brightly and the tears wouldn't stop flowing. "You gave me a reason to celebrate Christmas this year." He let go of her hands and she automatically missed the comfort of his touch. He put the necklace around her neck and her heart threatened to explode from her chest. But as soon as the clasp was secure, she held the pendant between her fingers and drew strength from his necklace. She grew resolved as her future path suddenly became clear to her.

"Thank you, Finn. You gave me something else as well."

His face scrunched in confusion as she retreated into the living room to get ready for bed.

"You gave me the strength to move on."

Salut mes amis!

Their time together is running out!

Song lyrics from "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" by Brand New

Until next time. . .sings. . . Don't stop. . .reviewing!

Merci mille fois!