What's this? An update before the next year?!

I've been crazy busy, but everything should be slowing down now that the musical is done. Sadly, Seussical's closing night was last night, so no more being an awesome who. :( But on the plus side, we had a kickass party afterwards that kept me out until 2 in the morning! :)

Alright, who's excited for the premiere? I'm so effing excited, I can't stand it! My best friend Chelsea and I are meeting up with our other Twilighter Ashton and we're all going to watch Twilight at my house and then go to the movie theater at like 9 p.m. for the midnight premiere. I'm going to cut a bitch if anyone gets the front row. That's my row. I'm only 5'0", but I will kick major ass if Twilight is involved! :)

And on that note, I don't own Twilight, as you probably know.

I do own a twitter…KaitlinJandron. Follow me if you like random tweets that occasionally give out some secrets and teasers.

Ohh and before I forget, I just wanted to let all of you know that I am a complete dork and I created a fanfic about the wonderful kids at Forks High putting on their own production of Seussical the Musical. Go check it out, I have one chapter up right now with more to come.

Waking up the next day, I look over at the clock and see its 11:11. Well if that shit isn't freaky, I don't know what is.

I crawl to the edge of the bed and hop off, resulting in me landing flat on my ass after my feet decide to fail me. I thought 11:11 was supposed to mean something lucky…or the wish thing. Either way, I pick myself off of the floor, slip on my dark blue silky robe and head downstairs.

I find Lauren in the kitchen, making something that smells delicious.

She smiles her greeting and stirs something on a skillet and turns to me.

"Hi." I sigh. It's way too early. Why did I decide to meet Carlisle at one?

"You look like you could use some coffee."

"Oh, Lauren. My own personal Jesus." She cracks a smile and hands me a giant mug of hot coffee with a shit-ton of cream and sugar in it. Looks like this is all I'm going to eat today. The calories in this must be through the roof.

I take the coffee gratefully and nod to Lauren before heading back upstairs. Once in my room, I set my mug down and grab my ipod, selecting my Glee playlist. I smile as I hear Cory Monteith's falsetto beginning note and start to sing along. I grab my phone and see a new text.

We're shopping today. –A

Not a question, a fact. Well, then.

I have some shit to do for a few hours. I'll text when I'm done. –B

I set my phone and grab my coffee, downing the still scorching hot liquid and setting the mug down. I head into the bathroom, smiling at the sight of freshly clean towels thanks to Lauren.

My shower only lasts 45 minutes, since I'm in sort of a hurry. I try never to be late for Carlisle. Once the water shuts off, I dry off and put a little product in my hair to keep it from frizzing before heading into my closet to pick my ensemble.

I scan my closet, finally landing on a high pair of hot pink heels with ruffles down the front and a poufy matching pink mini skirt with a high black banded waist. I put on a tight black tank top and grab a small pink and black clutch and call it complete, but not before grabbing a black fitted leather jacket. This is Forks we're talking about, it's cold.

I dance my way into the bathroom while Amber Riley sings about busting windows out of my car and style my hair into my natural loose curls laying down my back and put on my usual makeup.

I take my phone and ipod, stashing them into my clutch and head over to Carlisle's office. Once there, I walk into the waiting area and see Kara, Carlisle's receptionist at her desk, doing whatever it is that receptionists do. I smile, taking in her graying hair and glowing appearance. She always seemed to glow, just being happy I suppose. Once she sees me, she smiles brightly and claps her hands.

"Bella! It's been so long since I've seen you! I guess that's a good thing, but I still miss seeing your pretty face!" She says in her motherly tone, one that I've seen countless times over the years. Just like all of the people in this office, Kara and I have become close. With my being here almost every day, which turned into once a week, and lately has become once a month, it's only natural that I bonded with everyone.

"I'm sorry Kara. I miss you too! We will have to do something, just us girls one of these days." I wink and scribble my hand on the sheet she pushes towards me.

"Sure I'm not too old to hang out with the cool kids?" She jokes and types into her computer.

"Oh please. You were cool before it was cool to be cool." I smile and take my seat, just wanting to get out of the office, even though it usually calms me.

After a few minutes, Carlisle walks out of his office, something he has always done with me, but never with anyone else. It made me feel special when I was younger, which is why I think he started doing it. And to be honest, it still makes me feel nice when he goes out of his way like this.

He smiles and opens his arms for me, another tradition I'm used to. I walk into his arms and say my hello into his still chiseled chest. He pats my back and puts me at arm's length before speaking.

"Hello B-Boo," he winks at the old nickname and looks at my appearance. "You're still too skinny, you know."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

He laughs and holds open the door for me, always the gentleman. We make our way to his office and I sit in the comfy black leather chair across from his. A small awkward silence develops, something probably induced from my secrets, but he doesn't have to know what they are to make it not awkward.

"So, why haven't you been in to see me?" he breaks the silence first. "It felt like you forgot about me." He adds in a softer voice, earning a cringe from me. I hate hearing him like that. I could never forget about Carlisle. He saved me and talked to me when others didn't bother. I owe him my sanity…and my life.

"I could never forget you." I speak my thoughts out-loud.

"Well, don't go that long without talking to me again." He scolds, but with a twinkle in his eyes.

He asks about Jasper and Emmett, having built a good relationship with them over the years. I tell him about Emmett's usual crazy antics, earning a few laughs and eye rolls. I tell him about Jasper and how he met Alice. Well, not the real story. I edit it to make her look better, of course.

"Your Jasper with my Alice?" he asks, furrowing his blonde brow.

His Alice? What the hell?

"Your Alice?"

"What? Oh, you didn't know?" Obviously not Carlisle. I shake my head, wanting him to explain already.

"My brother's children are living with me now. Has it really been that long since we've talked? They've been here for a few weeks." He mumbles a bit to himself before continuing. "He just ran off without telling anyone where he was going. The kids, who are also my godchildren by the way, called me a few days after no word from him. I called him and he actually answered and said he was simply just done with his life in Chicago and went up to New York. He's always been kind of flaky, but I didn't expect him to just abandon his kids. They aren't even legal adults yet!" He rolls his eyes. "Anyways, I sent for their things and they've been with me for like I said, a few weeks."

After he finishes, I start laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it. How the hell could I not know this?

My laughing stops short as I realize that Edward Cullen is Carlisle Cullen's godson. That's why he and Alice moved up here so suddenly. How the hell could I not have known this? Their pictures are all over Carlisle's house. There are just as many pictures of me as there are of them. He even told me stories about them, but they never came to visit in all the years I've known Carlisle.

"Bella? You okay?" He asks, getting out of his chair to come kneel next to me.

"Edward Cullen. That's why he sounded familiar. Oh my god. Your Edward is my Edward."

"Wait…your Edward?" He asks, rightly confused.

"We've…talked. I actually have to go Carlisle. I have plans. I will call you tomorrow though. Oh, and make sure you tell Esme that I miss her too." I say in a rush, just wanting to get out of the hospital and process this.

I get out of the room before Carlisle has a chance to say anything else, or examine me like he was supposed to do for the appointment. I finally get to my car and I lock myself in and flip on the radio.

How am I so fucking stupid that I didn't connect the name?

---

I sat in my car for two hours. Two hours of trying to find a valid answer to the question I ran through my head the entire time.

How am I so fucking stupid that I didn't connect the name?

I only came up with one answer. The drugs.

I mean, I know they are bad. I know that there are shitty side-effects if you take too many of the pills. I know that. But I didn't feel it. I didn't feel anything. Fuck.

I have to stop. Now. I open my glove box, finding the pill bottle filled with the fuckers that fucked with me. I open my car door and dump the pills on the floor. I stand up and crush every single pill with my heel. Every single pill that made me forget things like last names and other small things that I haven't even noticed.

So many things have probably been missed in the past few days. What if I got into a car right after getting high? I could have killed someone. I could have killed myself. Not that the last idea isn't such a bad one, but still. I roll my eyes at my drastic mood swings that always seem to leave a booming headache in their wake.

I could really use a pill right now.

Fuck, I'm so screwed.

Vowing to not let my body take another, I grab my phone and text Alice.

I'm done. What's the plan? –B

Immediately, I get a reply.

Shops are too shitty around here. Come to my house and we can do it online. -A

I send her my agreement and start my car. Before going anywhere, I just sit and breathe. In and out, calming breaths. This changes so many things. Alice had to have known who I was when she talked to me. She had to of seen the pictures of me in her house. Edward had to of known too. Carlisle can't say anything about my medical history with the confidentiality laws and such, but what has he told them? Surely he had to explain the pictures somehow.

I narrow my eyes, suddenly angry at my tiny friend. We're getting to the bottom of this. Today.

I arrive at Carlisle and Esme's beautiful home a few minutes later to find Esme's car gone. Must be out shopping or something. I do however, find a yellow Porsche and a silver Volvo in the driveway. Alice and Edward's.

I actually growl at Edward's name. If I see him in the next ten minutes, I will kill him. Or kiss him. But definitely kill him.

I grab my clutch and get out of the car. I walk up the long path to the house and see Alice already standing on the porch, waiting for me.

"You already know." She points out, probably gathered by my narrowed eyes and set jaw.

I nod once and walk past her into the house that I spent a lot of my time in when I was new to being in the "real world". I walk down the hall to the living room and see my pictures on the wall, along with a bunch of Alice and Edward. How the hell did I not recognize them? I roll my eyes and sit in my favorite red overstuffed chair.

I look up and meet the eyes of an apologetic pixie with her tail between her legs. Good.

"I'm sorry Bella. Carlisle said not to make you talk about anything and to just let things be. But how could I not try to figure out who you are when you are all over my uncle's house? Would you honestly just let it be?" she asks.

I don't reply and she scrambles for something else to say.

"Just so you know, I still don't know anything about why you and Carlisle are so close. He never talks about it. He talks about all of the good things that you've done, but he never talks about how he knows you. It's killing me not knowing."

"It's not your business to know." I snap.

"But it should be! I already told you that we are going to be great friends, I can feel it! Are you sleeping with him?" she asks, out of the blue.

I laugh. Me and Carlisle? Um, no. "Hell no!"

"Are you his illegitimate child that we don't know about or something?"

"Nope."

"Then what is it?!" She asks, flinging herself on the couch next to me, looking exhausted.

"Like I said Alice, it's not your business."

"Does Jasper know?" She asks a pout on her tiny face.

"Of course he knows."

"And Emmett?"

"Yes. Where are you going with this?" I ask, my already thin patience running even thinner.

"I want to be important enough to you like Jasper and Emmett." With her tone all dejected like that, I almost want to forgive her for completely lying to me.

"I'm not going to deal with this right now, Alice. You lied to me about everything and if you want to be important to me, that's not the way to start out. Why the hell do you want to be important to me, anyway?" I ask, completely flabbergasted. No girl in this town wants to be my friend if they are new. The rumors spread too quickly and they wouldn't have any other friends. Alice must be even more stupid than I thought or desperate.

"That's not true, by the way. I never lied about anything about me. I was completely honest when you asked who I was and when we talked. And…Carlisle always talks about you and says how great you are, and after talking to Jasper, he seems to like…worship you." She pauses, "I never really had any friends in Chicago. It was just me and Edward. My father was kind of a flake and wasn't really around much and I was too worried about him to go out with people there. It's always just been me and Edward trying to stick together. But moving here, I want something different. I want to have friends."

I see the ways that she and I could relate with her admission and I want to just let it all go, but I don't think I can let it go. I didn't necessarily trust her, but I was close to it and she just stomped all over the almost-trust like so many people have before.

"I'm going to go. I'll talk to you later or something." I get up and make my way to the door, but before I can turn the handle and open it, it swings open and knocks me flat on my ass while it forces my vocal cords to let out a squeak. Awesome.

"Oh shit! Alice, are you okay?" Edward's frantic voice comes from the other side of the door. The door is quickly shut and there he is, looking confused as hell.

"Bella?" He furrows his brows before reaching his hand out to help me up. Fuck that. Chivalry is dead.

I get up on my own and push him out of my way before slamming my way out of the house. The door opens right back up and a shock ignites in my arm. I look down to see Edward's hand wrapped around my arm, pulling me back.

I glare into his green worried slash confused eyes and rip my hand back.

"Stop touching me!" I yell at him before composing myself and walking to my car. Once inside, I lock the doors and breathe. I close my eyes and go to my "happy place". Sadly today, I can't seem to find my happy place. It used to be Jasper, Emmett, Rose, and I on the beach in the Caribbean, but I just can't find it today. Ugh, I hate my life.

---

I remember driving home in a mixed mood of annoyance and fury. I remember going upstairs and slamming my door closed before locking it, not wanting any surprise visits tonight. I remember going in my bathroom and opening the safe under the sink and pulling out a bottle of Jack Daniels. I remember bringing said bottle to my bed and downing it.

That's all I remember. Considering now its 5:30 a.m. and there is an empty bottle of Jack that used to be only 1/3 empty, I'm pretty sure I know where the rest of the alcohol went. I sit up, ready for the headache. Predictably enough, it comes and I wince before steadying myself with my arms. After the first wave of marching band practice in my head comes and goes, I swing my feet off the bed and grab the bottle of Tylenol on my vanity.

I take those and slug my way over to the bathroom. There I take a shower and make myself look less like a zombie before heading out into my closet. I never drink on Sunday's. The exact reason is my appearance right now. Sunday drinking means Monday hangover. Monday means school. Hangover and School are not good together. Wait…why am I doing math this early in the morning with said hangover? Fuck.

I grab white skinny jeans and my favorite pair of sneakers – electric green high tops – and a loose fitting white v-neck with a matching electric green colored tank top for under it. Even with a massive hangover that makes me want to kill myself, I am still an OCD matcher. I throw those on quickly after I put on a cute white lacy bra set.

I go through the motions of getting ready and leave my hair in loose curls like yesterday and search for my make-up. I make my dark circles disappear and put on light make-up, as I'm sure to rub my eyes throughout the day. I throw the make-up in my backpack, expecting having to do a re-touch every few hours and go downstairs.

Well, shit. I guess I was slower this morning than normal, which is understandable in my condition. After getting down all of the stairs without tripping, I silently thank my choice of sneakers for the day. Hangover Bella and High Heeled Bella are enemies. I heard through the grapevine once that Hangover Bella made High Heeled Bella trip down every single stair in the grand staircase, which resulted in HH Bella getting fuck-nasty bruises all over. That bitch.

I quickly run into the kitchen to see a note on the kitchen counter written for me.

I covered for you last night. I expect a thank you.

Thank you, Lauren. I grab an apple and drive to school in a daze. Once there, I take some more Tylenol that is stashed in my glove-box for these rare occasions. I down those without the help of water, which leaves a nasty taste in my mouth, but it will get the job done so whatever.

I get out of my car and I look to my left instinctively. I find Edward and Alice Cullen looking over at me from where their cars are parked. Alice moves her tiny feet towards me but I shake my head at her before glaring at Edward and make my way towards the school. I'm not dealing with them today. No way.