A/N: Because Santa told me you have all been good boys and girls (at least, he can find no proof to the contrary), here is another chapter just a little early.
Sam, Bobby and Gabriel seemed to be waiting for them.
"Gabriel." Castiel acknowledged him warily. His interactions with Gabriel in the past hadn't been the most cordial, although the hostility had not been personal.
"Castiel." Gabriel smiled and bowed mockingly. Bobby huffed in annoyance at that. Cas was polite, which was more than he could say for this ass-hat. In Bobby's book, Cas was 'one of the boys' now.
"How is this possible, Gabriel?" Gabriel's return gave Castiel a small amount of hope.
Gabriel shrugged. "Apparently they're an angel short upstairs… and there's no-one around with the skills to fill the vacancy. So here I am. Nothing would have started a power struggle faster than a vacuum in the hierarchy." It's possible his eyes held the tiniest little smidgeon of respect, but he'd deny it if it was pointed out.
Castiel looked disbelieving. Dean wasn't sure if Cas doubted his own importance in Heaven, or if he mistrusted Gabriel.
Gabriel turned to Dean. "Sam here has badgered me into agreeing to do some investigating. I promise nothing, but I'll see if there's anything we can improve. It might take a few days. Now, Dean, do I have to give you the speech about honour and chastity?"
Dean scowled, texted briefly then held his phone out to Gabriel: "The strippers?"
Gabriel snorted. "Hilarious. But no. I mean try not to compromise Cas' virtue while I'm away."
"Gabriel," Cas warned in his pre-smiting tone "apologise to Dean. He has been working very hard to help me feel at home, despite his own hardship."
Gabriel eyed Cas calculatingly. Cas was glaring at him, his hands curled into tight fists. It was a good thing Cas was unable to smite anyone right now. Then he looked at Dean. Dean was an enigma. He was churning with so many confused and tangled emotions that Gabriel couldn't identify them at all. Concerned? Confused? Gabriel relaxed. "Fine. I guess I have nothing to worry about. Repression, thy name is Winchester."
"Well you won't be the only one doin' some diggin'," Bobby added, trying to get things back on track. "I know a guy who's got a specialised collection, but he's a long ways from here. I should probably get in contact with him."
Gabriel smirked. "Well allow me!"
He snapped his fingers and Bobby was gone.
Sam gaped. "Did you just…?"
"Yup." And then Gabriel was gone too.
No one heard Dean's silent growl of disapproval.
-oOo-
Bobby had called to say he would be back in a week, (sooner if he found a good lead in his friend's library of rare mythology-based works) and to stay out of his best scotch.
Dean was trying to introduce a jean and t-shirt-clad Cas to the joy of classic action movies.
Sam was in the kitchen making up a batch of popcorn from scratch, in one of Bobby's old pots. He didn't like it to have too much butter. If Dean had had his voice he would have fought Sam tooth and nail on it. How the hell is the salt supposed to stick on, if you don't load it up with butter? But seeing as he had no voice, he couldn't nag Sam into making popcorn the way he wanted. Cas would never know what he was missing. Dean sighed dramatically. It was upsetting that he might never speak the words 'bacon double cheese burger' again.
Cas dragged his eyes away from the fascinating scene of John McClane walking barefoot over broken glass.*
"Is something wrong, Dean?"
Dean pointed at his own throat, indicating it was just general frustration he was expressing. Cas watched him for a few more seconds than was necessary. Dean had always been honest with Castiel; as honest as he was willing to be with anyone, including his brother and himself.
"Do you think it's possible I will ever regain my grace? Become what I was?"
Dean made no move to answer him. Eventually he gave a small shrug. He thought it was unlikely, but it was too soon to be taking Cas' hope away, and with Gabriel coming back from… wherever dead angels go… anything was possible.
Cas turned back to watching Hans Gruber stepping out of an elevator in the Nakatomi building, but only for a moment. His eyes watched the pictures, but in his mind were other images. He turned back to Dean, his shoulders stiff with tension under the grey t-shirt they had purchased earlier that day.
"Dean…"
Dean raised his eyebrows and waited. Suddenly it all came out of Cas in a desperate rush.
"I want to learn things. In case I don't- I want to learn to drive. To fix cars. To use the laptop. I need to practise fighting, as a human. If I can't- … I want to hunt with you and Sam. I want to help. In case I can't- I need to stay busy, Dean." Cas' voice was low but urgent.
Dean was so blown away by Cas' desperation and pain, that he tried to speak before he remembered he couldn't. That was starting to happen a lot, and it was pissing him off. Cas couldn't even say the thing he feared out loud and Dean had been whining about burgers. It was good that no one could read his thoughts, because he was a selfish dick. So he patted Cas' arm, looked into his eyes reassuringly and nodded because he wouldn't have it any other way. Of course Cas would work with him and Sam. As far as Dean was concerned there was no other possibility.
Sam came in with a large wooden bowl of popcorn. He held it out to Dean with a smirk. Dean took a few kernels, tasted them, made a face and pushed the bowl away. It was like eating Styrofoam packing peanuts. Cas watched them with interest.
Sam held the bowl out to Cas. "Try it, Cas. Don't let Dean fool you. It's actually good."
Cas took a handful and ate the kernels one at a time, with concentration and curiosity. He found the texture resilient, almost rubbery, but the flavour was insipid. It wasn't exciting enough to ask for more. He was pleased to find he naturally agreed with Dean on this.
Sam slumped into Bobby's favourite armchair with his legs stretched out in front of him and the huge bowl resting on his chest. He started chowing down on it by the handful.
Dean took his car keys out of his pocket and looked at them lying in his hand. Cas was family now. Dean had let Sam drive his precious baby before. Dean desperately wanted to be the one to teach Cas to drive but, realistically, Cas needed verbal instructions. Maybe Sam could teach Cas. Dean felt a flare of helpless anger. Damn it! His car! His angel. And he couldn't do a goddamned thing. He was going to have to trust Sam with this.
He took Cas' hand, now empty of popcorn, and placed the keys in it. Cas stared at him with wide, shocked eyes. Dean gave him a small smile and gestured towards Sam, who was still stuffing oversized handfuls of the heinously naked popcorn into his mouth.
"Are you sure?" Cas couldn't quite believe it. Dean was as protective about his car as he was about any member of his family. It had died and been revived as many times as either of the Winchesters. Cas knew this was an astounding gesture. Dean squeezed his hand. "Thank you, Dean." Cas held onto Dean's hand a moment longer. It was valuable and reassuring to him that Dean understood enough of his fear to try to help him solve it. The corner of Dean's mouth turned up in mischief. He tapped Cas' jean-covered leg and pointed at Sam.
Cas held up Dean's car keys at Sam with an impish smile. "Sam? Will you teach me to drive?" Dean caught his breath. He really wouldn't mind having that smile directed his way, and that was never coming out, whether he got his voice back or not. He locked the thought away in a dark corner. Also, Cas teasing Sam was awesome.
Sam looked at the keys, then looked at Dean, surprised. Dean stared back and dared him to say a word. Taut bands of stress clamped around Dean's ribs. His angel had freaked out about staying human, and Dean was going to have to let someone else teach Cas to drive in his baby. He really, really felt like whomping something about now. Sam must have sensed it. He swallowed down his popcorn.
"Uh… sure, Cas. If it's okay with Dean… then yeah."
Cas turned to Dean with a brilliant grin that Dean couldn't help but reflect back. The frustration dissolved from his chest, the need to punch something forgotten. The thoughts escaped their dark corner, kicked up their heels, and frolicked freely and playfully in the sunny meadows of Dean's recalcitrant mind. Dean didn't have enough previous experience with them to recognise them as happiness.
-oOo-
When Dean went to the refrigerator to grab a beer, Sam followed him to the kitchen.
"Dean, are you sure?"
Dean paused to open the bottle and nodded once, firmly. He gave Sam a friendly punch on the shoulder and headed back to the couch, to watch a helicopter exploding on a rooftop.
Sam placed the empty popcorn bowl in the sink and rested against the bench top.
Something really was up with Dean. He'd have to keep an eye on it, because if it was what he thought it was, then Dean was probably going to refuse to face it, have a huge freak out, and make a run for it. And Sam was going to have to pick up the Cas-shaped pieces. Actually, Sam was surprised it hadn't happened already. Maybe he was reading too much into this…
-oOo-
With Bobby away, Sam grabbed the opportunity to sleep on the old man's bed, rather than cram himself onto the too short couch. Dean insisted Cas take the couch, as much as a mute man can insist.
In the morning, he woke to find Cas' arm hanging down from the couch, his warm palm pressed to Dean's chest. No way that was an accident. Dean lay watching Cas' hand rise and fall with each breath. He found it comforting. Maybe Cas did too. Like that thing with hot water bottles and ticking clocks, that made puppies sleep better. He and Cas had this in common: They both had to deal with this thing that had happened to them.
He felt Cas' fingers curl and heard his breathing change. He closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.
"Dean? Dean…" Cas whispered. "Is it too early for a driving lesson?"
Dean felt the corners of his mouth turning into an unstoppable smile, regardless of the fact he was supposed to be asleep. It occurred to Dean that despite their difficulties, he was kind of enjoying himself.
* The movie is Die Hard. 1988, starring Bruce Willis. Watch it. It's classic.
A/N: Fear not, Cas' continued acceptance will soon overwhelm Dean's denial, like the ocean breaching a Dutch sea wall. Its only a matter of time now...