A/N: Well, I hope you all sit in a warm room while reading it. Because, it will get really cold. :o)

A big thanks to lovingthis for the beta-read. Thank you!

Enjoy!

'This is a disaster!' Becker thought. 'I should have said no. I should have stayed at home. Better in the ARC cleaning the guns, the real ones not the pee shooters. I simply should have said 'no' when Newt asked me to come with them. But I didn't. Of course I didn't! And now, I'm stuck here. We are stuck here! Great!' He grumbled silently as he heard the sounds of the wheelspin once more after he floored the accelerator.

"Maybe you should change into reverse and try with less speed." Jess sounded from the backseat.

"Jess, this is an all-wheel. Changing into reverse wouldn't help in the slightest. We are stuck." He replied snappishly. Fearing he could have said something that would tear the thin ribbon of a relationship apart, he added in a gently tone, "but thanks for trying to help. Do you have reception yet?"

He looked into the back mirror and saw the woman shaking her head with frustration.

"I'm afraid we have to walk back." Newton stated from the passenger seat. He opened the door and stepped out in the snow, slightly shivering and zipping his jacket up to the end as an icy breath of wind blew into his face.

Becker stood up, too. He shut his door and leant against the cool metal, looking over the roof as he replied to his soldier. "That is 40 miles back. I don't think we can walk this before dark."

The Captain looked around, gazing into the deep forest to both sides, the trees were fully covered with white snow.

Earlier that morning, Jess and Newt had asked Becker to drive into the very forrest that surrounded them, owned by a friend of her father, so Jess could have a tree cut for Christmas. They had been planning it for three weeks, however, Newt's recent injury made him unable to drive the car or cut a tree so he had asked the Commander. And Becker immediately agreed. Even if his soldier weren't handicapped he would have been adamant that he accompanied them, fearing something could happen to them or they could get lost and he weren't there to keep them save.

But there was another reason why he consented in this little trip. Since he broke the Private's arm there was an awkward atmosphere between him and Jess. They did talk, especially when it came to the fulfilment of their jobs, but apart from that she stifled his smalltalk, she ignored his teasing and, what him hurt the most, she once rejected his offered chocolate. And that was why he used every single moment to be close to her. He stayed in the hub longer than needed, he engaged her into conversations - asking questions of which he already knew the answer - only to gain her attention, to hear her voice, to see her smile. He tried everything to make it like it was before.

One day, as he drove her home - bizarrely her car wouldn't start despite both their repeated attempts- they began to chat easily once more. New hope raised inside Becker that it wouldn't be too late. The next day Connor took a closer look inside the car and found out that all the wires seemed to be blasted by an EMD. Becker could only imagine one person who would have done that and immediately sent the man to clean the armory once again, after repairing the car, of course.

After that, things seemed to get better, Jess smiled more when he was around, she teased him after he got bitten by a hamster as he tried to set it back into its cage - the anomaly incursion was in a petting zoo. But whenever she was with Caleb she was different, their acting seemed so familiar, like it once was with him. Every morning they sat in the break room chatting and drinking their coffees and her eyes beamed whenever she saw him entering the room. Becker felt to get more and more out-manoeuvred, so he used every occasion to come closer to her again, to slip back into her heart.

The air was frosty and the sun was hidden behind a large cloud, making the temperature feeling much colder than it actually was.

Jess got off the car, overhearing their conversation. "It's better we walk in the opposite direction, following the road there must be a village after 20 miles."

"How do you know that?" Becker questioned sceptically, looking at the young woman and her unfavourable choice of clothes.

It wasn't that she didn't look pretty in her dress, but as she greeted the men this morning they both disagreed with her choice. She wore a skirt, as always, and a blouse, hidden under a coat which ended on the half of her thighs. Her legs were covered by tights, which she declared as thermo-tights. Caleb and Becker wanted her to change but she insisted that she felt as warmth as it can be and that she would mostly sit in the heated car, anyway. At least her high heels were replaced by a pair of Norwegian boots, ending short under her knees and with fake fur on the upper end.

Jess stepped forward, looking towards the trees. With both men in her back she replied confident. "I am the Field Co-ordinator, it's my job to know that."

Caleb chuckled at her answer and Becker couldn't help but smile. Following their little leader the trio stepped forward towards the snow-covered road, which made a curve after 100 yards.

Being ten steps ahead the woman walked to the left, heading to a clearance between the trees.

"I think I found a short cut for the walk, I can see the tips of some rooftops down there." She shouted back, loud enough for the men to understand her, pointing with her arm towards a wide area covered with snow.

"Jess, wait." Caleb shouted to her and added in a normal tone to the man walking next to him. "I don't remember seeing a wide field on the map."

Both men accelerated their pace to catch up with the FCO.

Seeing the men coming closer, Jess decided to end her waiting and to precede, stepping between the huge conifers.

"Jess stop." Shouted Becker. He sensed a queasy feeling in his stomach as he watched Jess walking further ahead.

Hearing the shout, the brunette waited again until the men appeared between the large trees. Then she continued her walk.

Suddenly there was a loud crack sounding through the wood. Jess looked up and saw a few birds flying away, startled by the sound. Thinking there must have burst a branch by its snow loads, she stepped further.

There was another loud crack and now she felt certain that the sound came from under her. A third crack resounded, followed by another one. Jess shrieked as she suddenly lost the ground under her feet. Unknowingly, she was stepped on the thin icesheet of a lake, sliding into the water in one go after she broke through the ice. A first shock rushed through her body as she felt the ice cold water around her, stopping her heart for a second before it started to beat again. The water poured into her open mouth and she coughed, releasing the remained air from her lungs which were quickly filled with the cold lake water, burning its way down into her lungs.

Jess panicked, trying to get through the ice but she hadn't the power to break it. She heard shouts - muffled by the ice and the water - but she clearly heard somebody shouting a name. After the first shock and the pain from her lungs softened, she looked around. The water current took her away from where she broke through.

She heard thuds sounding from above her, dimmed light shined through the ice in spots, lightening the water. She turned her head trying to see or hear something in particular. There were another loud thuds sounding near her but she couldn't detect the direction where they came from. The thuds became louder and turned into cracks. Loud cracks were the last things she heard, then it all went black around her.

Becker and Caleb saw her breaking through the ice, both screamed for her. Stepping on the edge of the lake where the ice was thick enough to carry their weight they tried to reach the place where she sank in. Shoving the snow on the ice aside, they quickly figured out her bright coloured body. Caleb ran back, getting the axe while Becker rammed in panic his fists into the ice, trying to break it with his own force while he kept on shouting for her.

As Caleb came running back they smashed the ice near her, making a hole big enough for her body. Becker kneeled down, with his body half under water he grabbed her arm and finally pulled her out. He carried her to the wayside and laid her lifeless body down in the snow. Caleb kneeled next to her feeling her breath and pulse.

"Nothing." He commented and without arranging he started the rescue breathing while Becker started the cardiac massage.

After Newt blew the third breath into her lungs she finally showed sign of life. Becker sighed with relief as he saw her awaken. Coughing she spat the water out of her lungs. The Captain quickly pulled her to the side, making it easier for her to breath. Her coughs became louder mixed with gasps and silenced again after she had enough air in her lungs to breath normally, leaving a sharp burning inside her chest and throat.

"Jess, Jess." Caleb called for her, while he checked her pulse again.

She opened her eyes, looking at the young soldier for only a second before shutting them once more. The panic, the pain and the cold had exhausted her and all Jess wanted to do was sleep.

"Quick, we need to get her back to the car and out of her wet clothes." Newt ordered.

Becker carried her, following the Private, as they ran back to the car. Although he was the Captain, he trusted his soldier thoroughly and let him take the lead. Newton had a medical training and, to be honest, without him Becker would have already panicked, seeing awful memories rushing back into his mind as he saw Jess breaking through the ice.

They reached the car and Becker laid her on the backseat, shouting for her name when he saw her shutting her eyes again and again to keep her conscious. Caleb ordered him to remove her clothes while he searched for the blankets on the truck bed.

Becker did as he was told to, removing her shoes and coat, and pulling off her skirt and tights. He winced inwardly as he saw her skin had turned a deep red and her entire body was shivering. At last he removed her blouse, his eyes fixed to her arms to avoid a proper look at her. It wasn't that he didn't want to look at her, he just felt like he would take advantage of her if he did so.

Caleb rushed to his side, handing him over one of the blankets and the Captain quickly covered her shivering and shaking body. "Hey, I said all clothes. It's not helping when she still wears the wet underwear." He declared and rushed to the driverseat, starting the motor and turning up the heater.

Becker slightly flushed and looked blankly to the back of the soldier, before he mentally rebuked himself. 'Get a grip! She just nearly died, is almost unconscious and freezing all over the body. There's no time to feel embarrassed.' He took a deep breath and went on with his work, grabbing under the blanket and removing the rest of her clothes. Then he wrapped the blanket closer around her and started to rub her back.

"Stop!" Newt shouted, his upper body was turned to the backseat. "Don't do that! You're stimulating her bloodstream. The cold blood from her extremities will cause an asystole as soon as it reach her heart."

Becker stopped his movements in shock and gaped at his soldier.

"Now remove your clothes, too. You have to warm her with your body." Caleb ordered again and started to pick up the wet clothes from the floor.

The Captain still looked baffled at the younger man, who explained further. "Captain, your lips are blue, therefore you are freezing, too. You need to get out of your wet clothes. And then warm her up with your body, hold her tight and keep her conscious. Jess said in 20 miles there is a town, so I go and call for help."

"But shouldn't you stay with her? You're the medic." The commander questioned while he took of his jacket, shirt and trousers. He was so worried about Jess, that he didn't felt his own freezing.

"Cap, I'm the runner. I need less time to find help, besides you have more muscles than me to keep her warm. Now give me your stuff. I'll place them outside. It only would cool down the temperature with the cold and wet clothes inside." Newt declared and the Captain handed him his clothes over. "I'm back as soon as I can. Keep her warm and awake." He ordered again before he got out of the car and ran away.

"Jess ... Jess, open your eyes." Becker called for her, his warm hands on both her cheeks trying to wake her up.

The woman blinked with her eyes, trying to keep them open. "Cold." She replied, her voice was nearly a whisper. Her teeth clattered and her whole body was shaking.

"I know." He answered gently, trying to soothe her. He clasped with his hands around her body and brought her into a sitting position before he manoeuvred her onto his lap, holding her tight against his body. Her head rested on his neck, while he wrapped the second blanket around both of them.

"Jess, you have to stay awake. Speak to me, please." Becker pleaded, looking into her tired eyes and seeing her losing consciousness again and again. With one hand around her body he pressed her closer against him, the other hand moved to her head, covering her scalp from the iced hair.

The heater did it's best to warm the inside of the car but she still didn't warm.

"Jess, speak to me. You have to stay awake." He tried to order her but it sounded like he begged.

"I'm so cold." She answered against the skin of his neck, blinking with her eyes and trying to keep them open.

"This isn't working." He whispered in frustration, more to himself than to anyone.

Mentally going over the orders from Newt, he finally did what the medic really told him. He opened the blanket, which was wrapped around her and pulled her naked body against himself, wincing and inhaling sharply as her cold skin touched his body.

"Damn, you're as cold as ice." He stated as he pressed her shivering body firm against him, wrapping his legs around her and trying to cover as much skin as possible with his extremities.

Her head still rested against his neck and her arms laid to both sides on his chest. Becker wrapped his arms around her then tightened his grip, splaying his hands over her back to warm her. One of his legs was covering the skin over her lower back while the other was around her bent legs, Jess' small feet dwarfed in the middle of his large ones. Becker pressed her body as close to his as he could, removing the little space which still separated them.

"You're feeling warmer now?" He questioned, looking down to her closed eyes. As he felt her nodding against his skin, he sighed with relief, resting his cheek against her head.

"Now speak to me. You have to stay awake." The Captain ordered in a gently tone.

"I'm so tired, just let me sleep a little bit." Jess pleaded, her voice still a little more than a whisper.

"No. I'm sorry, Jess, you can't sleep. Not now. Please, talk to me." He replied. His lips pressed against the skin of her head, warming up the little spots where he blew out his breath.

Trying to bring the chattering of her teeth under control she questioned. "Did you shout?" She paused to take breath. "I remember I heard somebody shouting a name."

"Yes. I shouted for you, Jess." He replied, closing his eyes as the memories of the recent event ran back into his mind and hugging her tighter, being glad that he held her in his arms - shaking with cold but alive.

Jess shook her head and her frozen strands of her hair caused goosebumps on his shoulder. He raised one hand, positioning her hair on the blankets which were wrapped around their bodies and covered the back of her head with his hand to warm the skin.

Realising that he didn't notice her shaking, she spoke. "You didn't shout my name. It sounded more like 'Aiden'."

Immediately, Becker's eyes widened with shock as he remembered. Knowing that she was right, he started apologising. "I'm sorry. You're right, I shouted Hayden. I'm sorry, Jess. I'm really sorry." He felt deeply ashamed that he didn't called for her real name, that he didn't even recognise he didn't shout 'Jess'.

"Shush, Becker. It's OK." The woman tried to calm him down.

The soldier couldn't help but smile due to her kindness. She was the one who nearly drowned in a cold lake no 15 minutes ago and yet she just tried to calm him down for making a bad mistake.

"Who is he?" Jess questioned, eagerly to know.

Becker thought about not telling her. He didn't want her to feel sorry for him. Then he remembered Newt's words and he really wanted her to know about this part of his life, so he answered, correcting her. "She. Hayden was my sister."

Two questions ran through her mind as she heard his words. Mentally flipping a coin, she decided which one of them she asked first. "Is she older or younger than you?"

Becker grinned at both, her naive question and the memories running through his mind. "Actually she was my twin-sister, but we were born 14 minutes apart, which makes her younger than me."

"You have a twin?" Jess stated flabbergasted, forgetting her real question. His confession made her completely attentive.

The Captain smiled satisfied at her liveliness, looking into her wide open eyes and gently stroking with his fingers across her cheek and hair, he nodded his approval, commenting. "Yeah." Then his smile disappeared and his eyes became sad as he lowered his gaze and compressed his lips before he added. "I had."

Hearing Becker's use of the past tense, Jess remembered her question and asked in concern, "what happened to her?"

He ran his fingers back into her hair and pulled her head on his neck again, supporting his chin on her head and hugging her. This time not to warm her up, it was more to conceal the tears in his eyes from her, which welled up as he sorted the memories, getting ready to tell her. "Well. It was in January. We were both twelve and it was very cold outside. We wanted to play in the woods close to our home. We always played there for hours, so nobody became anxious when we were away for several hours and -" He balked, having a lump in his throat.

He coughed slightly to pick up courage for continuing. He'd never told anyone what happened that day. Never before now. Never before Jess. Breathing deeply he got the words out. "There was a lake, not very large but very deep, in the middle of the forest. And we played there. We played on it. Gliding with our shoes over the ice after we made sure it would hold our weight. You know, although she was younger, she always was the stronger one of us. She was pluckier and always did things at first. I only followed her and did what she told me. But I didn't care. I loved her so much. I adored her. I just did everything to please her, to make her smile."

He stopped again, squinting his eyes shut as the tears ran down his cheeks. "At that day she glided further and further to the middle of the lake and I was frightened that she could break through, but she didn't listen to me. And then the ice cracked. I screamed for her name, rushing forward to the spot where she sank in. After she emerged again I grabbed her arms. I tried to pull her out. I really tried. But I was too weak and her clothes were filled with water." He paused for a moment, then shivered from the memory. "She screamed." The words were barely loud enough for Jess to hear. "She begged me to get her out. But I couldn't." His voice started to break. "I tried again and again but I... I couldn't. I... The ice kept breaking at the edge. It made it impossible." There was another long pause. "We cried so much looking into each other's eyes. We both knew she would die if I didn't get her out. I shouted for help but there was no one to hear. No one to come. I held onto her for hours as we froze. I was always the weaker one."

Jess blinked against his skin as she wondered where the last sentence came from. She couldn't imagine the pain he went through how much determination he must have had to hold on for so long. As the last thought flitted through her mind he continued.

"I let go." There was self loathing in his voice. "I couldn't.. I physically couldn't hold on. And she sank back into the water, still watching me. So scared. Shocked. Just... And I watched her sink."

He swallowed again, trying to regain control of the tears. "When I couldn't see her I ran home. I don't know where the new energy came from- I think it's because I hated myself so much in that moment. I ran so fast, I don't even think I've run as fast since. I told my parents and.. they did what you'd expect. They called an ambulance and we went to the lake. People went in to get her out but..." He shivered again. "She was blue and her eyes were still open." Taking a deep breath to let the memories sink in he appended, "I never saw my parents laugh of smile after that. They never said it, but you could see, they blamed me."

He ended, pressing his lips to her forehead in a sweet kiss to calm his feelings and soothe her. She didn't speak one single word, but while he talked he could feel her fingers stroking across his collarbone and her tears running down his neck and chest.

Jess felt awkward, not only because she made him remember, made him going through the horrible memories again just because she wanted to know. It also was because she realised that her lack of attention caused him back to one of his biggest nightmares. The tears ran down her cheeks, she couldn't even imagine what horror he must have went through as a child.

Becker dried his eyes and rested his cheek on the side of her head, hugging her tighter. One arm around her neck, the other one around her back gently stroking over her soft and almost warm skin, while he lightly swayed back and forth to calm her down. "It's OK, Jess. Don't cry. It's OK." He whispered in her ear and instantly felt her huddling up against his chest and breathing deeply in and out.

Feeling the urge to tell her the good memories of his sister as well, he questioned softly. "Do you want to hear a little more about me and my sister?"

"Yes, please." She whispered into his chest. Her breath blew across his chest hair, tickling his skin.

"Well, we both have different birth days. I was born at eleven fifty-seven on the thirty-first of May. She was fourteen minutes later on the first of June. So the doctors asked my mum when did she want our birthdays to be and she answered both on their day they were born. The doctors disagreed vehemently, stating we were twins and therefore had to have the same birthday but my mother insisted on it. Actually we laid in our newborn beds nearly a week without a birthday and a name before the registrar's office gave their OK to our birthdays and names."

"Why had they problems with your names?" Jess raised her voice, questioning shyly.

Becker chuckled, an affectionated chuckle, feeling his heart lightened at her question, but more because of the presence of the woman inside his arms. "Our names are no common names. Hilary is mostly a girl's name and Hayden is a common boy's name. And together with our different birth days the doctors and nurses made a big fuss. My mother insisted on both the names and the dates so they finally agreed. But I think it was more because they didn't really found a reason against it. They only said we had to be given a second name for clear gender determination and my mother agreed. She named me after my father - James, and my sister after, well actually after the month she was born - June."

"And where was your father at that time?" The FCO asked further, wondering why his mother had to go through a delivery on her own.

The Captain thought about it for a moment, before giving an answer. "He was on a mission at that time. He is an army General now but at that time he was Colonel."

There was a couple of minutes silence, while they both enjoyed the feeling of the other's skin on their bodies. Jess sighed, and bit on her lower lip, not having the courage to ask what she had on her mind.

"Just ask, Jess. What do you want to know?" Becker knew her well enough to know when she had a question on her mind.

Jess was thrown for a second, surprised at how he knew there was something she wanted to ask and wondered, fleetingly, if he could read her mind. Shrugging it off as nonsense she eventually asked. "What was she like? Your sister? You said she was more courageous than you and that you loved her but... what was she actually like?"

There was a moments pause as Becker debated what he should say. "Well, she was dominant. She decided what we ate, what we played, what we wore... She loved colours. She always wore a shirt or jumper with bright colours fitting to her trousers, and then she decided what I had to wear, so we matched together. That means, when she wanted to wear a bright yellow jumper, I wore one, too. When she wanted to wear pink, I wore it, too. When she wanted to wear blue, I wore it, too."

Jess started to giggle, interrupting him.

"What is so funny?" Becker questioned, mentally struggling with whether he really wanted to know the answer.

"I just can't imagine you wearing pink." She replied.

The Captain grinned. "Actually I loved this colour at that time. I had a favourite jumper, all in pink with a black tank on it and I beamed with joy whenever I was allowed to wear it." Leaving a little pause, he added. "I was five when I had that jumper."

Jess looked flabbergasted into the face of the man, not knowing what she was startled about, the fact he loved pink or that his parents let him wore a jumper with a tank on it.

Leaving it as that, Becker continued with telling. "She was a brilliant mind. Always best marks in school. The teachers loved her and later when she turned ten the boys started to love her, too. I became so jealous. I didn't want anyone talking to her, no-one laughing with her. No one was allowed but me." Jess felt Becker give a smile. "I got into so many fights because of that. Several times I was even sent home. Hayden always teased me about it but when I was banned from school she would teach me what I had missed so I wouldn't get left behind."

"You still love her." Jess stated, sensing what he felt for his sister in the way he talked about her.

"Yeah, I do." Becker agreed. "She was adorable and her laughter was infectious. I always knew- or so I thought- that I would never be able to love another women like I loved her, to feel for someone like I felt for her... But... Well, since... Since I..." He stammered, not daring to speak his thoughts out loud.

The FCO filled in the blank. "There is no place for another woman in your heart." She declared, being convinced of that.

The Captain replied and his voice sounded sad. "Jess, I let go of her. I still dream about her. Well, not every day, but sometimes I do. And I still see her face starring at me, when I look into the mirror. She will always be in my heart, but -" He paused again and the tone of his voice changed as he continued. "But there is somebody else who walked her way into my heart. I didn't even recognise, although her heels were barely unrecognisable. And this time I know I will do everything to keep her safe. I won't let go a second time."

Jess smiled as he said that, but her heart ached at the inner conflict she had, caused by his words. Did he mean her? Her heart wanted to believe that, but her mind shouted 'No!', that he would never love her. He loved his sister, his bright coloured, brilliant minded and always smiling sister. And she couldn't hide the thought that this sounded a lot like her. Maybe he only cared for her like he once cared for his sister. Maybe he only is so protective over her because she is a lot like his sister was and with protecting her, he only wanted to make up for failing once.

She could feel the tears starting to fill her eyes and quickly shut her lids, not wanting to cry in front of him - her Becker. She wanted to be happy, now that she was in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body all around her, cuddled up against his chest. Her fingers playing with his chesthair while he talked.

His black chesthair on his adorable muscular chest.

His …? His chesthair!

Her mind went through everything and the information that she hadn't processed ran into the forefront of her thoughts. Shocked, Jess flushed and looked down at her own body, just to find herself reddening further. "Becker." She stated with fright, not knowing whether it was an outcry or a question.

"What is?" The Captain asked, worried about her sudden strange shout.

"I … I am naked." Jess gaped.

"Yes. Your clothes were all wet and you could have been freeze to death with them on your body, so I took them off." Becker spoke calmly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"You took my clothes off? All of them?" She questioned sheepishly, looking at him.

"Yeah." He answered, seeing her shocked face he became aware of the meaning and quickly backed up. "Um. Newt ordered me to! And I didn't look, I swear!" Feeling that he had rested one hand around her waist and the other one on her thigh, he rapidly positioned them on her upper back.

Jess lowered her deep red head again, looking right at his skin. "And what about your clothes?"

"They got wet, too", he replied, not so confident in his voice anymore, "as I pulled you out of the water and I needed to warm you with my body", he paused briefly before he ended his sentence, "so I took them off."

"You're all naked, too?" Her question sounded like a realisation.

"Err... I still have my shorts on." Becker talked his way out.

Their slightly embarrassing conversation was interrupted by the sounds of spinning rotor blades coming closer.

"What's that?" Jess questioned, startled by the sudden unfamiliar sound.

"That's a helicopter." Becker's grin widened further as he looked at Jess. "There're here, Jess. Newt made it. They're here."

A/N: I am neither a car expert nor medically trained, so please overlook if there is something wrong. ^^

Please review and let me know what you think.

:o)