I don't own Merlin. This was written for fun and will not be used to gain money or fame. All rights belong to the BBC. Based on the end of season 5 episode 6. Disregards most of season 5 but may have possible spoilers. "Speech" 'Thoughts'. Slight spoilers for all Seasons.

"I am sorry Merlin," Elyan said once the pair were sure Gwaine was completely out of ear shot.
"What for?" Merlin asked worried. He was slowly starting to believe the knight wouldn't turn him in but he wouldn't fully trust him until he had told his whole story.
"If I had known about your friend I would have waited for another day." He explained and Merlin gave his first real smile to Elyan since he found out about his magic.
"That's ok. I actually got over his death a while ago. Well not completely got over it because I never will but I have seen Avalon, the place where you go when you die and it is beautiful and I could tell just by looking at it he was happy there. So was Balinor but that one still hurts." Elyan couldn't help but ask even though he thought he would regret it.
"What about Freya?" Merlins smile fell and he swallowed looking at his lap.
"Remember I told you I tried to save her?" He asked and Elyan nodded. "And remeber I told you she was the Lady of the Lake and she gave me Arthurs sword?" Again Elyan nodded wondering where this was going. Surely if she lived in the lake home to Avalon she would live in Avalon. "She now has a half life. I wasn't strong enough to bring her back fully but I brought her back enough that she isn't truely dead and so she can't pass on." He said softly and took several deep breaths. Elyan noticed.
"Merlin, despite what Arthur says, it is alright to cry for those you have lost. I know both me and Gwen still cry over our father and I know Leon has had to comfort Percival several times when he cries over his family. You have nothing to be ashamed of." Merlin wiped his eyes and turned to face Elyan.
"Yes, but I am suposed to be more like Arthur. I am basically King of the Druids. I should be composed all the time but I'm not. If it wasn't for my magic I wouldn't be able to do anything." He said, self loathing evidant in not only his voice but his eyes. Elyan did the only thing he could think of and pulled his friend back into his shoulder. Then he realised what Merlin had said.
"King of the Druids? Your the King of the Druids? Your Emrys?" He exclaimed loudly as Merlins head snapped up and he was met with a wide eyed stare.
"Please be quiet." He begged and Elyan had realised what he had done. He slapped his hand to his mouth and mumbled quickly.
"I am so so sorry Merlin." Merlin just smiled at him.
"Yeah, I'm Emrys." He said grinning with just a hint of pride. Elyan was glad. It was about time Merlin realised how special he was.
"Show me something then." Elyan demanded playfully before they both tensed as they realised what he had said. "If you want to that is. But don't not show me just because you think I'm going to turn you in." He asked more gently this time and Merlin turned his head and bit his lip.
"You really want to see something?" He asked quietly and when Elyan nodded he looked around the room for something he could do. He noticed all the candles in the room due to the closed window and the setting sun. He grinned.
"Ok then." He strected out his hand and whispered. "Taka þessar eldi og umbreyta þeim. Gefðu þeim líf. (1)" Merlins eyes glowed gold and Elyan fought the instict that had been bred into him. He knew he would never hurt Merlin but he did want to move away from the glowing gold eyes that had brought so many deaths.

The he looked up. All the flames on the andles had transformed into some kind of animal. The were running through the air. Rabbits, birds, deers, otters and any other woodland animal you could imagine. It was breathtaking. He found himself following certain animals as they moved. His favourites were the rabbits and the birds...wait those aren't just any birds, they were merlins. He turned to face the servant whose eyes had yet to return to normal. He was watching the animals moving with such an innocent smile on his face that Elyan couldn't help but laugh. Merlin turned to face him and his eyes returned to their normal blue. He smiled shyly at the knight and it was then he realised just how innocent Merlin was.
"Was that alright?" He asked still nervous, although he felt a lot better now that Elyan had asked to see his magic.
"Yeah Merlin, that was amazing. Thank you, but we can't see now, can you fix that?" He asked ruffling his hair. Elyan watched surprised as Merlins eyes glowed gold and all the candles lit themselves.
"You didn't say anything?" Elyan said although it was phrased as a question.
"No, I don't always have to. Like I said my magic used to react only to my thoughts and feelings. I can still do that but I can do more learning the spells and enchantments." He explained and Elyan nodded.
"I think it's best if we continue the rest tomorrow. Do you need me to take you back to Gauis' chambers?" He asked and Merlin startedd laughing.
"I should be ok Elyan. I am Emrys remember." He joked and Elyan was glad, although it could mean the mask was back. Elyan just grinned back as Merlin left his chambers. They both knew there was still more they had to talk about tomorrow, but right now both were content right now.

"Merlin, how did it go?" Gauis asked the minute he walked through the door causing him to jump.
"Don't do that." He said laughing at himself, but he stopped when he recieved The Eyebrow. "It went better than I thought it would but there is still more we need to talk about." He explained and smiled as he saw his mentor sigh in relief.
"Thank heavens for that, I have been so worried about you. Especially when Gwaine stopped by..."
"Gwaine? He came to Elyans room as well. What did he want me for?" Merlin asked suspicously. He didn't want to get wrapped up into one of Gwaines schemes.
"He wanted to take you to the tavern. He didn't hear any of your onversation with Elyan did he?" Gauis asked worriedly.
"No he didn't, I don't think. Well he didn't say anything about it so I don't think so." Merlin said and Gauis smiled.

(1) Take these flames and transform them. Give them life - Icelandic