"Angel of God, my guardian dear, To whom God's love commits me here, Ever this day, be at my side, To light and guard, Rule and guide. Amen." the little choir of voices said aloud with her.

"Remember, that in our hearts, He sits within us. Watching our sins and our paths, so we can be ever full of His light." she smiled at them all. "God Bless you, my little students."

"God Bless you, Miss Zytka!" they all called out, one by one standing and giving her a quick hug before finding their family with their new trinkets and crafts of God's love.

How beautiful they all were, so full of happiness and curiosity. It just made her bubbly when they would want to know more or just want her to read psalms and verses, she just wished he would be more focused with things like they were.

Zytka sighed, knowing it really wasn't Tim's fault with that. The government had him busy constantly and with Genesis surrounding nations and attempting to take capitals, it was scarier than before. She didn't realize how bad it was until she heard of the attempted terrorist attack in Tilburg, and him sending her to Leer, Germany for protection. Those four days were a nightmare away from him but she understood it's meaning.

Yet out of everything that happened, she was still perplexed over one thing. She glanced back at the map of the city, figuring out how long it would take her to get there and back to the apartment before he realized.

"Six minutes from here to there, and then another five to the apartment." she quietly let out.

She glanced up at the clock, praying deep within herself that it was nothing more but her own imagination that plagued her thoughts, "Best now or never."

Saying a silent Hail Mary and locking the school room up, she quickly made her way down to De Wallen. She had to be fast, that was given. When Tim was ready to go home, there was no time wasted there. Impatient as usual. The variety of shops and people surrounded her as she made her way to the popular location, she just prayed she was wrong. Zytka shook her head, trying to rid the thoughts that came to her head. She knew it was wrong, he kissed her every morning and night, made sure she was safe and warm and comfortable, there would be no reason for him to be in the brothels. Yet trying to prove that was growing dimmer with the phone call replaying in her memory.

"Just find what you need and get out of there." she muttered to herself.

Finally rounding the bend, she saw the brothels, the men waiting as women laughed, and of course the prostitutes in the window. It was her own fault asking Claude for the truth about him and the brothels before she came into the Netherlands and, as usual, Claude was blunt and left no stone unturned. Now all she wanted to do was prove her thoughts wrong.

"You look lost." someone shouted at her.

"Sorry," she called back as she saw the women sitting outside, "Just looking for somewhere or well someone."

"Got a specific man? That's on the other side." the one replied back.

"Not for that, I think he's here."

"Oh, your man sleeping with one of us."

She prayed he wasn't, "I don't know."

The laughter erupted from them as they pointed out everything about her, oh how she hated being there but she just had to find him, "Oh, Tim, why here?"

"Wait! Tim? Are you looking for Timmy?" one of them asked.

Zytka turned around to see one of them coming up to her. Her clothes tight and revealing while her eyes were wide with curiosity, "Are you looking for Tim van Hofwegen?"

"I am."

The woman grabbed her arm, pulling her to the side of the building, "Follow me."

Now she was more nervous than ever, following the woman to an entrance, she wondered what she'd learn from her. Once within, the woman paused, looking her over as Zytka did the same. In her mind, she was the typical woman men wanted. Curvy, perfect skin, blonde hair, sparkling eyes, and as harsh as it was, open to the guys. Everything that she wasn't.

"So, quick question, are you his girl?" she asked her.

Zytka only nodded, afraid that if she opened her mouth she would completely lose it.

"Wow, you're prettier than I imagined. I'm Lady by the way."

"Co?"

"Yea, when I figured out he was smitten with a girl outside of here, I assumed stupidly that you'd look like me or the other girls. What most think men want. You, on the other hand, are almost like the doting housewife. Clean and fair, so perfect. You even him out really."

She was stunned, unsure of what to say as she gathered in what she was told, "I'm more than you thought?"

"Yea, very much so."

"Then why would he come here?" she finally felt her breath hitch in her throat as emotions began to run wild, "Why would he? I know I don't give him everything that a woman should but I'm not changing my beliefs to satisfy him. I just won't but coming here isn't-"

"Whoa, whoa!" the woman said to her, "Calm down, it's not what you think?"

"Not what I think? He's in the brothels, what more am I to think?" she felt the tears fall down her cheeks.

"Because he's not sleeping with us, he's having us help him."

"How? Pleasuring him?"

She shrugged, "At one point yea, it was only that. But the day I saw his eyes when he tried to find pleasure here, it just looked like he wanted to be sick. I've seen it before, the look of 'I screwed up, I can't do this', that was his face completely. It's when I learned of you. I'm glad really that he had that epiphany, so many guys out there willing to sleep with others over their wives or girlfriends, it's sad. But when he realized what we could do, he put us all to work for him."

"How?" she whispered.

"We keep documentation of johns, just in case one of us gets hurt or more. As risky as it is, he had us searching johns for Genesis members. Humans are simple creatures, all we need is sleep, food, water, and sex to function. Gotta feed a hungry member something, so why not us? We found about five or six now, sleazing around here. Told Tim about them as well. It's a way for him to weed out the ugly of the city."

Now she felt like an ass. She deeply assumed he was there for pleasure but in reality, he was trying to stop Genesis members from hurting others. Her heart clamped up a bit, making her regret every thought that came to her on her way.

"He didn't tell you did he?"

"No."

The woman sighed, "Kinda figured that when you were walking around in here in search of him. You aren't the first to look for a lover, but you had a better outcome than others."

"You are right there, I just feel bad for assuming."

"You trust him?"

"Of course I do, but I also knew his past with coming here. It scared me that I wasn't good enough."

The woman laughed, "Good enough? I look at you and see why he does what he does, you are his all the way through and he will stop at nothing to protect you. You don't have to be good enough to be perfect in his eyes."

Zytka sighed, "Thank you. Really. And since I gained your name, I'm Zytka."

"You're welcome. Glad to see a happy ending out of this. And damn that's pretty. Well, if you want real names, mine's actually Rose." she told her, "He's worth every penny. Although you might have to curb him on the smoking part."

She burst out in laughter, unknown of why but just let it out, "That will be the day. And yours is just as pretty."

Rose laughed with her, "True but that's one place I see him a lot. Getting his smokes and oils. Last I heard from one of the makers, he's even getting pills."

Pills? Zytka stared at her for a moment what she meant by that? "But with the war and Genesis, every man needs a small crutch to remove the pain and headache of it. How're his legs? Last he told me they were stiff, that is old war wounds were acting up."

She snapped out of her thoughts, "Oh, alright, a little stiff but not by much. He tell you why?"

"To the pain and usage? Yea, said he was captured in war and they broke his legs cause he was helping the enemy at that time. Took him a long time to heal, said another was just like him. Roderich I think was his name. God war is brutal."

Oh, she knew what she described, although she didn't realize the pianist she had seen at the one meeting was a survivor of war too. Well, in truth, they all were. And guessing Tim, he told her it was more recent of war, not the truth of WWII.

"Hey!" a shout came from the door as another woman stood there, "There's a car here for you. Says Timmy wants you home for something. Must be pretty special to get that treatment."

She felt a smile curve her face as she looked at Rose, "You haven't a clue."

It wasn't hard to figure out why he did what he did. The wind raged against the windows as the blinded the outside. She knew it was coming but this storm was worse than before. She hoped that he would be ok coming home as the winds wiped around once more.

"It's bad out there, isn't it Lop?" she said to the fuzzy creature as he pawed at her leg, "You still hungry?"

He bounced around twice more, making her laugh at him, "Alright, alright. Just don't let him know. I got a lecture the other day for making you fat."

Zooming around her legs, Zytka tried not to fall over him as she gathered her little treats for him. Yet as she worked, her mind ran with thoughts of what Rose said.

"He's getting his smokes and oils, even pills there."

That little bit rang louder than the rest. What would he need pills or oils for? She knew that his legs bothered him, explained how nations had to heal correctly or have issues later one. But with him being captive, it wasn't very possible. Yet it still bugged her to no end.

"Think he's hiding something from me?" she asked the rabbit as his back legs thumped the floor, "Ok, impatient as always. Oh poo, I gave you my bowl. Oh well."

She set down her partially used bowl to him, watching him nibble hungrily at it all. She had to stop thinking about it, just had to. The worry that plagued her mind from earlier and now the wonder of what Tim was up to with the drugs was getting to her. Sighing at the rabbit once more, she looked for another dish for herself just to be left a little disgruntled.

"Why must you place the dishes on the top shelf, Tim?" she said balancing herself to stand on the counter.

She was one to dream of tall men, yet this was more than she thought. Not that she complained about his tidiness and his actions in helping her clean the house, but placing things she needed so high was not on her agenda of the world. Finally finding the bowl in question, she readied herself to get down just to pause. Looking between the large pitcher she saw little bottles, ones that were too familiar to her. Grabbing the lot of them, she popped down from the spot and examined her find. They were exactly the same as the ones on the bathroom shelves. Quickly darting off for said bottles, she had to match them all, every little thing about them.

Having the cascade of pills before her, she looked at them all, wondering if it was her mind playing tricks, "He wouldn't do anything to hurt you Zytka, he just wouldn't."

She poured the contents of the hidden bottles, looking over the familiarity of them from past use. Nothing seemed out of order, just the same as usual, "Maybe he got extras before the storm and forgot to tell me."

She tried to shake it from her head, yet something in her told her to dig deeper. Grabbing a knife, she pried open the capsules and cut the pills in half. The fine white powder she knew it would be. Then, she grabbed the other bottles, repeating the same to them, only this time, there was a change. Zytka stared down at the pills before, how did she not notice it before? There were her pills from that morning, a light green tint to them as the capsules were filled with an oil instead of the powder.

"It can't be." she whispered to herself, trying to reach for the phone on the counter.

She couldn't tear her eyes from it, no matter how hard she tried. Her heart clamped up as her stomach twisted into knots and her mind screamed at her the real truth she was looking at. Finally grabbing the piece and typing the numbers in, she prayed that the woman would tell her she was wrong.

"Hallo?" the line answered.

"Belle." she mumbled out.

"Zytka? Is that you? What's wrong, darling?"

Zytka swallowed over the lump in her throat, "Please. Please, Belle, I'm begging you, tell me I'm wrong."

"Wrong with what, you're starting to frighten me? Do I need to send Javier over or call Tim? I know the blizzard is there but knowing him he'll do what he can to get to you-"

"My medication."

"What?"

"My medications, for my epilepsy. Please, Belle, tell me that I'm looking at them wrong. That he's not hidden my real prescription from me and that he's replaced my others with...with..." she couldn't even finish.

Belle sighed, "I warned him. I told him to be honest and that if he wasn't karma would get him."

There it was. Zytka felt her legs wobble as Belle talked to her about his decision yet it meant nothing to her mind at that moment. How could he? Why would he do this to her, fake her medicines and have her take in that sinful plant? Why would he hurt her like so? She heard Belle faintly yelling at her on the phone as Lop bounced on her foot, yet she was far from it all. Her mind swirled in turmoil, worried that God would punish her for an action, not of her own knowledge. She could smell it in the air, lingering lightly as if it was always around her. All she wanted to do was run from it all, and that's what she did.

Zytka barely noticed the stinging cold wind as she ran from the home, terrified to look back as she tried to calm her mind. She didn't care how far she ran or where to, but the farther the better was all she could think. Tears poured from her eyes, blinding her to the surroundings, that was until she was flat on her face with snow covering her skin. Looking up, she realized the trouble she was now in. The woods were dark and daunting as the snow covered the ground and her way back to the house. She tried to hear for Heidi yet the wind covered everything with its harsh howl.

"Oh no." she whispered out.

How could she have been so reckless? Trying to gather her surroundings, Zytka moved through the trees, seeing what she could gather as the storm raged on. Fear and worry began to fill her mind, a sickening dread sat in the pit of her stomach. There was no lights of the house nor the familiar neigh of Heidi, just the frozen landscape she trapped herself in. Her mind swirled, a tremor covering her body, not only from cold but the motions of her own issues.

"Dear God, please don't let that happen. Guide me home out of the storm and have me understand Tim's ways."

She tried running again, seeing if she could see it all if she just made it closer to the woods edge, yet all it did was make her situation worse. Panic settled in her as her anxiety spiked. She tried to calm herself, trying to silence the fear but as it continued she felt her vision shift and her body give another harsh shiver. No, not this. Her feet seemed to pause as her body began to grow stiff. How was this happening? She took...no, no she didn't. She was so focused to see what he was doing in De Wallen and understanding what she learned, she forgot to take them. The shakes got worse as she tried to find her balance yet it was too late. She felt the icy creek water cover her legs as the last thing she saw was the rock she was going to hit. Then, there was nothing.

Worry settled in his stomach, unsure of what do to or say. The snow seemed to become harsher as it rattled the windows with its ghostly howl, yet all he worried about was her.

Zytka had been acting strangely as of late, no real reason of why. Trying to silence his racing mind, he took another drag from his pipe, hoping the mix within would help him out more. Yet like usual, it did nothing but make him question more?

"What am I doing wrong?" he muttered to himself as the last of the papers stared at him.

He had tried to focus on finishing, to get back home to her but after calling her school and hearing from the assistant she had left right after, just sent him on a whirl of worry. She always called him when she got home, begged her to do it to be safe and that there was nothing bad happening to her while he was away. Not that there were many seizures but the threat of Genesis was getting bigger. And now, there were three more found and the Dane hadn't stopped messaging him about what he should do for his own capital.

His cell went off once more, making him press his temples in irritation as he went to answer it, "Look I told you multiple times, Mathias, you will have to-"

"I really don't need relationship advice from you." Belle's voice cut him off.

"Oh Belle, what do you need, and sorry about that."

"Heard about the three Nordics coming, but anyway, that's not why I'm calling."

"Then what?"

"You need to get home."

Dread filled every fiber of his being, "What do you mean? Why? What for?"

A heavy sigh came from the other line, "Remember that I told you karma would bite you in the ass with Zytka?"

"About her meds, yes I remember. What does-"

"She knows."

No. She couldn't have figured it out. There was no way that it was possible. He was careful and covered his tracks, how could she have learned unless someone told her.

"Belle, did-"

"No. As much as I wanted to, I didn't say a word. Nor did Javier. She called me in tears, begging me that it wasn't real. But I think she knew when she called me, just praying that it wasn't so. I had Claude make a few calls from her school office phone, come to find out she called your little house of fun, talked to Rose Jansen or Lady in the brothel. Seems like Zytka found out a lot in a little bit."

He felt small. The size of a grain of sand really. Dear God, Belle was right. He was going to have karma have him, and boy was she dry fucking his ass now. To hell with the papers and his government. He nearly ran out of the office, praying the roads weren't that bad for him to get there. Come hell or high water, he was getting to his capital.

"Belle, I'm sorry that I didn't do as you told me and listened with my ass, as you tell me. But right now, my capital needs me."

No more than a few minutes later, he saw his place. Warm and cozy as she always kept it when he wasn't around, the night's meal finishing up. Yet there was no sign of her.

"Zytka?" he called out, hoping that she was just mad at him, "Zytka, please."

The counter came to view as he saw the bottles and pills on the hard surface, her determination written in the destruction of them. His heart clamped up, he could almost hear her praying that it wasn't real. Could see her gripping her cross and saying every prayer she could to unsee what she did. And it was all his fault.

"Zytka!" he hollered out just to hear a harsh thump at the back door, "Zytka?"

Making his way back, he found Lop throwing himself against the wooden piece, the little guy seemed exhausted yet positively determined to get out.

"What's gotten into you, Lop?" he asked, lifting him up.

Yet all Lop did was kick at him. Tim tried to hold onto him as he flailed around in his arms, just to suddenly drop him as the little bugger bit him.

"The hell was that for you little-"

Then he heard her. Heidi. She was nearly screaming in anger outside as he heard the fencing creak and squeak as she threw her legs at them. Dodging outside and making sure Lop didn't follow, he made his way to her.

"Heidi, what's wrong?"

The horse only ignored him as she let out another angry shout, raising her legs to kick the fence again.

"Heidi, knock it off!" he tried to calm her down, grabbing her harness, "What has gotten into you both?"

Opening the gate, she bolted past him, nearly dragging him away from the barn, "Heidi, stop! What is..."

Only then did he see the footprints in the ever-growing snow. Now he understood why they were acting the way they were, they were trying to get to her, to protect her while he was gone. Panic roared through his body as he mounted Heidi's back, gripping tightly to her mane.

"Find her Heidi!" he commanded with a kick of his feet to her side.

Heidi was off, flying into the woods as the snow made it almost impossible to see anything before them, yet she seemed to know more than he did. He felt like hell, so much screaming at him that he couldn't focus on anything else but finding her. God, how long was she out there? Wandering in the cold as the night crept in ever so slowly. He prayed, God did he pray to find her as he called out her name.

She bucked for a moment, attempting to jump over a log in their way. Her frustrated snorts and grunts echoing the area as he tried to see where she was heading.

He pulled on her mane lightly, "Come on Heidi, we can go around."

Yet Heidi wouldn't budge, "Come on old girl, we have to do so."

"Zytka?!" he hollered out again as Heidi stood her ground, "Heidi will you-"

One minute he was calling out for her just for the next to be flat on his back, in the snow as Heidi bucked off. Now he was pissed. Her stubbornness was getting to be too much for him as he watched her try and get over the log.

"Look here." he said taking her harness harshly in his hands, "You cannot make it over this log. It's too high for you. We need to go around."

She tried to pull away from him as the small trickle of water came to his ears, "We'll go around the large rock I know is here or across the creek as much as I don't want you going through but you need to-"

Heidi pushed her body against his, pinning him to the log as she let out another angry scream. Tim pushed back against her, panic and fury filling him every second that was wasted in finding Zytka.

"Alright. You have become a serious bitch at the moment. Whatever is up your ass better leave or so help me, Heidi, you will..."

He looked over his shoulder, finally understanding what Heidi was trying to do, or more of the fact, show him. He could see the outline of a body, covered in snow as the other half laid in the icy creek before them. She found her.

"Zytka!" he finally got free of Heidi, going under the log to her, "Zytka!"

Finally, beside her, he lifted her frozen body to him, praying he would find a pulse or even a breath, yet there was nothing.

"No, God no." he mumbled, lifting her up and making his way to Heidi as she kneeled down for him to get on.

With a kick to her side, they were off. Racing through the harsh snow and deafening winds, Heidi's heavy footfalls was all he could hear as he tried to not only hold onto Zytka but find a lingering hope of life within her. He was cursing himself. Damning it all to hell as his decision ran through his head. The fact she found them and now she was lifeless in his arms after running away from the motion he made. It just killed him.

Finally, the lights of the house came to sight. A small relief filling him as Heidi practically ran right up to the door for him as he sawLop jumping by the window, nearly coming out of his own furs. Giving Heidi a small pat, Tim flew into the house, hoping he could bring her back to him. Once within the sitting area, he laid her on the floor, wrapping as many blankets as he could find as Lop laid against her head and shoulder. He had to bring her back, just had to. He couldn't even fathom the thought of her not being there with him. Listening to her pray or sing a small hymn, watching her with Heidi and Lop or even the children at the school, hell even interacting with the other capitals and cities and nations. She was just too bright and beautiful to lose.

"Come on Zytka, please." he pleaded as the fireplace gave off the heat he wanted, "Come back to me."

Silence. Never would he had thought he'd hate the silence but now it was damning. Her skin was pale as her lips were a tinted purplish-blue, the small bruising on her head was his sign that she fell and knocked herself out.

"God, het spijt me Zytka."

And that, he was truly sorry. He didn't want to hurt her or make things worse in any way for her yet that's all he ended up doing. Kneeling beside her, he pulled her to his chest, holding her as tight as he could. With a shaky breath, he placed his lips to her ear, hoping she heard it along with God himself and prayed.

He heard her before whispering the little prayer, every time an attack came on the TV or more, she would let out those little words that meant almost little to him, yet now it was everything as he reached the end, "Unite us together again in one family, to sing Your praise forever and ever. Amen."

Lop gently laid on her stomach as Tim began to rock her, still quietly praying that it was just his imagination playing a horrid joke on him. Yet the stillness of her chest and the frozen touch of her body gave him his answer.

"Alsjeblieft, Zytka, kom alsjeblieft terug naar mij. Verlaat me niet, smeek ik je. Alsjeblieft, verlaat me niet." he pleaded to her. "God Zytka, please come back. I can't be without you. I love you too much to lose you."

A sudden gasp came to him as her body began to shiver followed by a harsh cough from her. She was back. She was back and breathing and not only alive but Amsterdam as well. Relief flooded him as he smoothed his hand over her hair, finally seeing her brown eyes looking around.

"Zytka. Zytka, it's ok. You're home now, warm and safe." he spoke softly to her.

She shook her head at him, tears filling them as she tried to push him away, "Zytka it's ok, it's me Tim."

"Nee." she rasped out.

"It's Tim, Zytka. It's Timothy, I swear. You're fine-"

"Nee, waarom?" she got out again as the tears fell.

"Why what, Zytka, what's-"

"Why did you lie to me?" she cried, "Why did you do that to me?"

A cold, menacing hit came to his gut as he watched her break in front of him. The hurt that lied in those chocolate eyes killed him, and he wasn't sure what to say to make it any better for her.

"Zytka, I'm...I'm sorry. I just...just...I just." he stumbled out, "I just...I wanted...wanted you."

He looked back at her, so many things written on her face yet none of them a good sign for him and what she was feeling for him. He finally let out a long sigh.

"I just, I didn't want to see you hurt anymore. Ok? I'm sorry. I really am. I should've told you what I was doing but I know how you view as well. But God, Zytka, after the oil there was a difference. The episodes slowed and you weren't forgetting or being scared as before. On those pills you were almost a zombie at times, the side effects it had just made you so out of it that it was hard to see you like that. But the moment you had those, you were awake and happy and vibrant and dammit I didn't want to lose that side of you due to those pills they forced you to take. I couldn't watch you have episode after episode and crying out in pain or fear due to them. It was killing me, so I did what I thought was right. I couldn't stand to see you hurt anymore. I just..."

He trailed off, feeling his own emotions he hid away slowly coming forth as his breath hitched in his throat, "I just couldn't watch you suffer anymore Zytka. I love you too much to watch it anymore. I'm sorry I hurt you, I just couldn't watch it anymore."

His body shook lightly as he looked at his hands on his knees, afraid to look at her, to see the hurt and disappointment in her eyes as his own burned in hurt and worry, "I'm sorry Zytka, I didn't mean to hurt you or break your trust in me. I just wanted you better. Please, forgive me."

Before he realized, slender arms wrapped around his neck as her body leaned against his own, shivering slightly. There was no stopping his own from wrapping around her as he buried his face into her shoulder. God, she felt perfect against him, her gentle breath tickling his neck, that sweet vanilla scent lifting from her skin just gave him the proof that it was all real.

"I see now." she whispered to him, "But please, don't lie to me again."

"I won't, I promise."

"I mean for everything too." she said pulling away from him, "If it wasn't the fact that Rose at De Wallen and a few others called here and then her telling me how you were getting pills and oils I wouldn't have thought any different."

"Rose?"

"Oh, you may have known her as Lady."

Oh, now he knew, "You went to De Wallen?"

She shied away from him, "Yes. I was struck with the thought that you were sleeping with other women because I wouldn't change-"

"Nee!" he almost shouted, "No, God, Zytka please don't change for me. I changed. Not because you wanted me to but because I chose to. I left that world behind for you. You mean so much to me and-"

Her lips molded against his, silencing his explanation to her. Yet he didn't argue. Breaking apart, she curled against him, feeling Lop jump into their laps.

"Its alright Tim, I know why now." she sighed, "But let's focus on now and what lies ahead. Plus, I'm cold and you're really warm."

He couldn't stop the chuckle that emitted from him. She was right. There was no real reason to focus on the past or explain why it happened. From that point on, they had all the time in the world with one another to nitpick and love each other. And he was just happy with that.