Act 3: scene 2 cont.: There's about to be a Girl Fight
Hermione: Ron!!! You're alive.
She flings her self on Ron. Who looks at her with hatred
Ron: Get off me you stupid girl…
Hermione: Excuse me…
Ron: You heard me. Get of you stupid girl….
Hermione: But Ron….
Ron: I said get. And give me back that engagement ring. I need pawn it so I can get Lavender something nice.
Hermione: Lavender? What does that no boob having, hopeless slut have to do with anything?
Lavender: I don't believe it. From guys okay. But you Hermione you join in there foul play…. I thought you would be above that. And we're friends at school.
Hermione: What we were never friends. You and Pravati use to tease me and hide my bras. And you tripped me in the hallways and made fun of my hair…
Lavender: Good Times.
Hermione: You were awful to me and now you stole my boyfriend again.
Lavender: If I recall I had him first.
Ron: So you completely pick me right!
Lavender: Ewww
Hermione: Come on Ron….
Ron: I'm not going any where without Lavender.
Lavender: Then you can go to hell….
Ron: Say with me gentle Lavender. We can get marry at my mum house and Pigwig can be the flower owl
Lavender: sarcastic Oh Excellent
Hermione: What! That's what we were going to do for our weeding.
Cedric: You all are completely tacky.
Hermione: Ron I love…
Lavender: Save it he loves me now
Hermione: You were always so jealous of me. I had the brains, I had Ron…
Lavender: Had…
Cedric: Okay, okay why aren't we talking about me? Lav let's go…
Ron: Whoa. Golden Boy she's coming home with me…
Cedric: You don't even have a house.
Ron: I have a box. And if we're happy what does that matter?
Cedric: Well she can be happy in a 5-story mansion with 100 house elves
Ron: I'll fight you for her.
Cedric: Please she not worth getting dirt on my face.
Hermione: Ron you can't fight over her. Your only allowed to fight over me…
Ron: That's Won Won to you.
Hermione: Your joking…
Lavender: Everybody's a comedian tonight. So I laughed. You laughed we all can stop now.
Cedric: So thought about it…we can fight but no face shoots.
Ron: Lavender, I can dispose if this fur ball. What do you want me to do? Just please don't say kill her. I can't go to jail.
Hermione: you wouldn't lay a hand on me. You have already broken my heart isn't that enough? But, Ron if I leave I'm not coming back.
Ron: Bye!
Hermione: turns of Lavender.
You whore! You their of love. You home wrecker.
Lavender: He doesn't have a home!!!!
Hermione: You have him under a spell I know it. You desperate little man stealing b-
Lavender: Oh look at little miss head girl. I thought you were the good one. All the teachers loved you but now your true character comes out. You puppet, you!
Hermione: Puppet?
Ron: Puppet?
Cedric: Puppet?
Ginny: Puppet?
Roger: Puppet?
Lavender: Yeah puppet.
Hermione: If anyone fake it's you. Chasing after a boy who can't even remember your first name….
Cedric: That's not true I remember Lizzie name fine.
Hermione: What am I? I house elf? Why should I accept insult from a girl who got a T in Charms? I was never bellow you in class and I'm not below you now. How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak; How low am I? I am not yet so low But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes.
She reaches up and scratches lavender in the face
Lavender: Oh she hurted me. Gentlemen! Save me! I'm not as strong as her and I have no experience in muggle fighting. Which makes me more of a woman then her. So please protect me from that crazy nappy hair hellion
Hermione: Hellion.
She pushes Lavender against a tree
Lavender: Help! She's killing me. I was nothing but sweet to her-if you don't count stealing her boyfriend.
Hermione: Didn't we just talk about how you use to pull my hair and make fun of my teeth?
Lavender: That barely counts.
Hermione: Well it does
Lavender: Okay this was fun but its time for us to leave
Hermione: With Ron
Lavender: God no, with Cedric lets see if he's still wants me after I get him drunk again
Ron: Don't be afraid Lav. I'll save her.
Cedric: Whoa I'm most defiantly Prince Charming here. You can stand aside as I save her from the crazy psycho chick.
Hermione: Thanks
Lavender: Runs to hides behind Ron and Cedric
O, when she's angry, she is keen and shrewd!
She was a vixen when she went to school;
and though she be but little, she is fierce.
Hermione: 'Little' again! nothing but 'low' and 'little'!
Why will you suffer her to flout me thus?
Let me come to her.
She tries to get to Lavender but her knights stop her
Ron: Get away you acorn
Hermione: Acorn?
Cedric: Acorn?
Lavender: Acorn?
Ginny: Acorn?
Roger: Acorn?
Hermione: God I been called everything.
Cedric: Get away. Thank Merlin your going to died cuz I'm not going to marry you. But I'll be sure to send you dad an invite to me and Lavender's wedding
Ron: Whoa! You mean me and Lavender wedding.
Cedric: Do I have to remind you about the house problem you have.
Both forgetting there suppose to be guarding Lavender
Ron: How about that fight
Cedric: Man…you didn't forget. I mean lets take this outside
Ron: We are outside
Cedric: Well then lets take it behind that tree
They both leave
Hermione: Now that we're finally alone
She punches Lavender
Lavender: Ohh
Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray,
My legs are longer though, to run away.
She leaves running
Hermione: You can run but I'll find you
She leaves
Roger takes of the clook
Ginny: So I'm guessing that raises is forgotten?
Roger:. Raise. YOU BE LUCKEY IF I DON'T KILL YOU RIGHT NOW….EVERYTHING IS COMPLETELY RUIN AND YOU WORRIED ABOUT YOU RAISE
Ginny: I figured you would say that.
Roger: shacking his head. This is what you have to do. Find Ron and Cedric put them both sleep. Put the love potion antidote on his eyes and leave Cedric ALONE. Then find the girls and put them in such a way that when Ron awakes he will see Hermione and only Hermione. Is that to complicated for you?
Ginny: So put Ron with Lavender and Cedric with the antidote near Cho…
Roger: WHAT…
Ginny: I'm kidding. You're so uptight.
Roger: If you screw up…
Ginny: I won't
Roger leaves
Ginny: goodbye hopes of having new shoes
Enters Cedric
Cedric: Did I lose him?
Ginny: in Ron's voice
I'm here you coward are you ready to fight?
Cedric: groans Sure
Ginny: Then follow me….
Cedric follows the voice away and Ron enters
Ron: Oh Cedric are you done getting the last looks at your face before I pulverized it
Ginny: in Cedric's voice I'm ready for you but come follow me
She and Ron leave Cedric re-enters
Cedric: finally I lost him. My face is safe. He yawns. I never did get that nap
He lays done and sleeps
Re-enter Ron and Ginny
Ginny: you can't catch me nanana boo boo
Ron: That sounds like something my sister would say.
Ginny: No its not
Ron: Where are you? I can't see a thing.
Ginny: I'm behind that bush
Ron: Which on there's like a thousand
Ginny: Catch me if you can
Ron starts to point his wand at bushes but starts to get tired
Ron: Tell you what…we'll finish this in the morning….
He falls and sleeps as Lavender enters
Lavender: I knew I should have just married Neville when I got the chance granted he's not cute or smart but you can't have it all.
Ginny: go to sleep
Lavender: What? Go to sleep I just had the worse day of my life. I just can't go to….
She lays done sleeping
Ginny: Three down Hermione to go…
Enter Hermione
Hermione: So I guess now I'll have to go live with the house elves. Oh well I can work on getting them all free
She lays down and sleeps
Ginny: On the ground
Sleep sound:
I'll apply
to your eye,
Gentle lover, remedy.
She squeezes the antidote to love potions on Ron's eyes
Ginny: When you wake you will love Hermione again. Cuz god knows how long we waited for that to happen. Jack shall have Jill;
Nought shall go ill;
the man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well.
She exits
A/N: So its done so REview