Will and Emma sat at the end of the hall while Lily took cautious steps forward, rocking back and fourth as she attempted to keep her balance. At fourteen months, she was a late walker, almost to the point where she'd be labeled developmentally delayed. But, she was premature, given leeway in catching up to her peers; and Will felt that her late walking was due to both parents spoiling her so endlessly, that she'd never needed to walk anywhere, let alone want to.
"Come on, baby girl!" Emma cheered, radiating with pride as the bitty redhead flapped her arms, clearly deciding if she was bold enough to make it four feet past her nursery door. "You can do it, Lily!"
Will bore a similar expression as he watched her teeter until she finally reached Emma's open arms, collapsing into them and nuzzling her chest.
"Good job, sweet-pea! Oh, I'm so happy for you!" She gushed and carried on, squeaking praises at their baby.
"Mama?" Lily babbled, looking up. "Dada?" She turned her gaze to Will, smiling widely and reaching her hand to him. He took the tiny hand in his own, kissing her fingers before kissing Emma's cheek.
Will sat up abruptly as the second period bell rang loudly from the hallway, signaling the end of his study hall and the start to his Spanish III class. The memory was as vivd as the day it had happened. Even though it was only two years previous, Will missed the days of Lily's toddlerhood.
As students filed in, he stretched his hands above his head, motivating himself to be cheerful on the first day of school.
He began to run through his syllabus before starting a fast-paced review game with the teenagers when a soft knock at the door and a cringing blonde behind the glass caught his attention. Attached to his neighbor's hip was his three-year-old, face red, eyes puffy, and body quaking in fear.
"Uno momento, por favor," The instructor demanded of his students before taking hold of the knob and reaching out to grab the scrambling, sobbing redhead into his arms. "What happened?" He asked Sarah, who looked beyond frazzled.
"Will, I just...I couldn't leave her. I've never seen a child so distraught, and I'm a pediatric nurse. She made herself sick, and I don't know how much more upset she could become than that."
Will rocked the preschooler back and forth, stroking her curls and letting his eyes close. "...We've got a half day, then a short faculty meeting. I know you have to get to work, so I'll just keep her here and have my dad pick her up on the way to getting Scott. Thanks for trying, Sar."
"Not a problem," The blonde sighed and rubbed Lily's back comfortingly. "Feel better, baby girl."
She waved sadly and Will heaved his shoulders, muttering, "You need to be quiet, understand?" To his daughter. She nodded and he turned back to his class, "Please ignore the three-year-old in blue," He cleared his throat, moving behind his desk to pick up the review game sheets he had and passed them out. "Jugamos!"
The students read the instructions independently then moved around the room, speaking Spanish to one another to find out facts in order to fill out a bingo-like card. Meanwhile, Will sat down in his desk chair and put Lily on his lap, tilting her chin up and forcing her to look at him.
"Daddy," She whispered, her face forming a grimace. "Are you mad at me?"
"Lily, I'm disappointed that you didn't stay at school. I'm not mad at you."
She leaned forward and hid her tear-stained face in his button-down, "I'm sorry, Daddy."
"You don't have to be, baby...but you know this means no dance class, right?"
Lily moved to rest her head on Will's shoulder and rub his collar between her fingers. "But I'll be a good girl, Daddy!"
"The deal was that you had to stay at preschool all day, like a big girl. Now you'll have to wait until tomorrow to try."
She pouted, groaning into his neck. "Daddy, it's no fair!"
"Sh, sh...you need to be quiet. It's like breaking a rule, Lily. Everything you do has a consequence."
"What's that?" Lily questioned, pulling back to meet her father's irritated expression.
"It no matter what you do, good or bad, something else follows it. Say I see you trying to sneak a cookie before dinner. What happens?"
"Daddy, I didn't!" She gasped, shaking her head.
"I know, I know, but I'm just trying to give you an example. Pretend I saw you sneaking a cookie. What would happen?"
"I would have to go do think time in my room," She grumbled.
"Right, see, that's a consequence. You chose to do something bad, so I would have to put you in think time. But there are good consequences, too. Like if you had stayed at school today, you would have gotten to go to dance class."
"So I have a bad con'aquence? For cryin' and not staying at school?"
"Exactly. So, instead of going to dance class tonight with me, you're going to go to have to come to..." Will thought of the most torturous place he could bring his daughter without starting a meltdown, "You're going to have to go to the music store with me."
"Daddy!" She pouted, Lily despised the smell of the old sheet music and knew she'd be tugging aimlessly on her father's pants as he strolled isles for hours. "Daddy, no."
"Yep, I need to get something new to work on, and since there will be no one to watch you, you've got to come with me. That's the consequence."
Lily threw her head back and whined, "Daddy, please!"
"Enough whining," He looked up to see his students finishing their activity. "Estudantes! Tres mas minutos!" He called out, eyeing the clock. "Listen, I've got three more classes to go, so I'm going to pull up a desk by mine for you to sit in quietly. I don't have any toys for you to play with, so crayons and paper are going to have to be it. Understand?"
She furrowed her brow and cried miserably towards him. "But Mommy has toys in her office!"
It was true, Emma kept an entire drawer devoted to times when a babysitter wasn't available for their tiny tot, usually during before or after school meetings, which was full of items to keep a three-year-old entertained.
"Well, baby, Mommy's not here, so we can't go get them. You chose not to have fun at school, so instead, you get to sit here and be bored."
"Can I at least go play with Aunt Shannon?" She begged, tears sloshing down her face.
Will's eyebrow rose. Coach Bieste was strangely good with his daughter. Perhaps she could be of some assistance in getting the three-year-old to stay in preschool.
Emma paced back and forth in front of her cellphone, wanting desperately to receive a call or text message from Will or her father-in-law to find out how Lily's first day of preschool had gone. When one in the afternoon rolled around, she could wait no longer, and chose to send a text message to the older Mr. Schuester.
How was the first day? Sorry I missed it...
It took several minutes, but a reply filled with obvious annoyance was received.
Disaster. As was expected when she didn't have her mother here for comfort. Come home, Em.
Her heart seemed to stop as she read the words over and over, shaking her head in disbelief.
Did she have any fun once she adjusted?
There was no adjustment and no fun. She didn't stay. Too much anxiety. Seriously. We need you.
Emma doubted that and placed her mobile down, shaking her head and stampeding down the stairs to where her mother sat on the phone, nodding silently and muttering sympathetic utterances every now and then, not aware of her daughter's presence.
"Will, I'm sure it'll get better. It's going to take time, but you know that...I know. I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do...If you want me to, I'll take the first flight out—okay, okay...I understand. No, she's been hauled upstairs most of the day. She hasn't talked much since your phone conversation. She's really rattled. Ed is quite upset with her, for leaving you...Oh, I don't doubt it. Your father is a great man, Will. If I weren't her mother, I'd be furious as hell, too. But I know Emma...You know her too...it'll pass, I'm sure. But...I just don't know when. I'm sorry...Don't be too hard on Lily, dear. She's just as upset as you are. She needs time...okay. Take care. Call whenever you want. Uh-huh...bye."
"Mom." Emma stated, her voice full of concern, "What happened to Lily?"
Linda rubbed her temples. "Why don't you call your husband and find out for yourself?" She asked, drilling her fingertips onto the countertop. "I'm sure he'd be more than willing to explain the nightmare of a day to you."
"Oh, no..." The younger redhead slipped into a stool next to her mother. "Please, tell me?"
"Darling, I love you. But this is a matter that would be best sorted out with your husband, not myself."
Emma gripped her curls and closed her eyes tightly. "He doesn't want to talk with me, Mom. Will doesn't want anything to do with me."
"I don't think so. Call him, you'll see."
"Aunt Shannon!" Lily squealed excitedly as she jumped from Will's desk to the floor the following morning, dressed in bright pink leggings with a tunic in a paler hue of the color. "Aunt Shannon!"
"Hey, peanut!" The football coach crouched with open arms for the three-year-old to jump into, snuggling into her neck. "You look like you're all dressed up for something!"
"I...well, no."
"How come? Your Daddy-O tells me you're supposed to go to preschool!"
Lily looked down and shook her head. "I can't go. I'm too scared."
"Aw, come on, now, Lily! Lots of things are scary! But you can't learn to be brave if you don't try them, right?"
She gripped Shannon's collar and swallowed. "Aunt Shannon, can I play with you today?"
"I'll tell you what, Lil. If you can stay in preschool all day, you can come back and help me teach gym. Does that sound like fun?"
"Yeah!" Lily squeaked, "Daddy, I get to play gym with Aunt Shannon!"
Will stepped towards the two, "Well, we better get you to preschool, then."
She shrank into Shannon's embrace when the gym teacher gave a little shrug. "How about I come with you to preschool today? We'll all go in together until you're comfortable staying by yourself."
"Can you just stay with me?" She peeped, her lower lip trembling.
"No tears, now," Shannon shook her head. "Big girls have to stay in school all by themselves. But you are going to have so much fun, Lil. I promise."
The three piled into Will's new Chevy, with Lily squeaking in protest about not wanting to be in the car and reminding Will to, "Drive safely!" every twenty-five seconds on the way to the school several miles away. When the pulled into the lot, Lily promptly burst into fat, genuine tears, screeching about not wanting to go in.
"Just think about what you get to do if you go in, baby," Will whispered as he unbuckled her seatbelt and lifted the girl from her car seat. "Play gym with Aunt Shannon, go to dance class...Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it?"
"Daddy!" She sobbed, holding onto his neck for dear life and shaking her head violently. "Daddy, please don't make me go! Please don't leave me! Daddy, please!"
Will's heart was breaking as Shannon opened the door for the two Schuester's with a deeply concerned expression on her face. "Welcome to a meltdown," Will mumbled as they approached the first classroom in a long wing labeled Early Childhood. "Here we go, baby...Look, Scottie's here!" He attempted to excite the little girl, who only clung to him and cried. "Oh, and here's your teacher! Hello, Miss Q," Will greeted a young college graduate who was enthusiastic about her group of three-year-olds.
"Hi, there! Lily, I see you're here to try again?" The small woman approached the group of three. "Are you Mr. and Mrs. Schuester?"
"I'm Mr, this is Shannon Bieste, football coach at McKinley—"
"Oh! Right! Congratulations on the first win of the season last week!" The teacher cleared her throat and placed a hand on Lily's quivering shoulder. "Hey, sweetie. Are you going to stay and have lots of fun with us today?"
She hid herself into Will's neck, crying softly as he crouched down in front of a dollhouse full of her favorite toys.
"Look, baby! Miss Q has Little People! Your favorite!"
The redhead peaked her head up slightly, "Do they have a giraffe?"
Will nodded and reached into a bucket, "Sweetie, there's like ten giraffes in here."
"Ten?" Her brown eyes grew wide and she dared to climb out of his embrace to examine the collection of plastic figures for herself, quickly losing her fright and analyzing the models she'd never seen, lining them up in a way that only made sense to her.
"Do you think you want to play with these for a little while?" Will asked, rubbing her back gently.
Lily quickly snapped around, eyes wide. "Don't leave me!"
"Baby, I just want to talk to Miss Q, I'm not going anywhere," He insisted, standing, only to be quickly gripped by the fierceness of his daughter.
"Lily, I'll sit and play with you," Shannon stepped in, taking her hand and leading her back to the floor where the animals and diverse people were lined so neatly. "Can you tell me about your rows?"
Eager to explain her logic to someone, the toddler gladly chirped about the size and color pattern she'd created while Will snuck away to speak to the preschool teacher.
"I'm sorry I couldn't convince her to stay yesterday," Miss Q quickly apologized, "It's much easier if there's a parent here the first day, but I understand you've got a bit of a predicament? Not that it's any of my business, but often time family troubles at home come into the classroom. As an educator, I'm sure you know that by now."
Will nodded and ran a hand through his curly mop, "Yeah. I do. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you've read through her information, but Lily has OCD, and only last week she was diagnosed with PTSD...there was a car accident, my wife was involved and she needed some time away to recover," He said, not a complete lie, "Lily's just taking it very hard."
"Okay...I'd really like for her to stay today, if possible. Within the first few days here I'm going to have one of our special education instructors and our school psychologist come down and observe her, to see if we can get some special services for Lily. Just from watching yesterday, and even as she plays now, I know that behavior modification is in order. I'd like to get involved as early as possible."
Will felt as if a boulder was lifted off his chest as he agreed whole-heartedly. "That'd be...that'd be great. We tried, this summer...but um," He cracked a few knuckles and shrugged. "It just wasn't working. Hopefully we'll get something set up soon."
"I'll do my best...Now I'm not all about having the parent sneak out of the room while their kid is distracted, so why don't you try saying goodbye to Lily? If we have a meltdown, we have a meltdown. I don't want her traumatized into thinking you won't be coming back."
Will took a deep breath and moved to the alphabet-themed carpet his daughter was sitting on. Gently pulling her into his lap, he kissed her cheek. "Lily, Daddy and Aunt Shannon have to go to work now. I will be back here in three and a half hours. I'll come pick you up, and maybe we'll even sneak a Happy Meal, then you can play gym with Aunt Shannon."
"Daddy," She whined, turning in his arms, "Daddy, no, please stay with me!"
"I can't, baby. I've got to go teach my classes." He ruffled her curls in attempt to calm her.
"Tell Mr. Figgy you want to stay with me!" She cried, holding his collar tightly.
"No, baby," Will laughed lightly, "Mr. Figgins needs me. And I need you to stay here like the big girl you are."
"I want Mommy!" She screamed suddenly, throwing herself to the floor with heavy sobs. "I want to go with you!"
Miss Q rushed over in an attempt to calm the tantrum before the rest of the three-year-olds caught on and became upset as well. "Lily, sweetie, let's go for a walk. Would you like that?"
"No! I want Mommy!"
Will's face fell and he shook his head, recognizing his daughter's stubbornness and signs of making herself sick. "It's no use, she's just going to get sick if she stays. Come on, baby. We're going to call your grandpa."
The next afternoon, Will threw himself into the sofa face first, grumbling incoherently, leaving his daughter to stare in confusion. "Daddy, why are you talking to the pillow?"
"I'm not talking to the pillow, baby," He murmured, turning to her without opening his eyes. "Daddy's just exhausted." It was days like this one when he wished he had Glee to pour himself into.
"Is it 'cause I've been so bad?" The ginger-hued girl squeaked, pulling her hands together under her chin, "I'm sorry!"
"No, no. I'm just tired, sweetheart. You're fine."
With an instinct for reading his emotions that she had inherited from her mother, Lily announced, "But you're mad, Daddy. I can tell."
He sat up and was prepared to convince Lily that he wasn't upset with her when his phone rang from his pocket, a tone that was set for only one person.
"Mommy's callin'! Daddy! Mommy's callin'!" Lily squealed, jumping up and down, clearly forgetting her distress. "Answer it!"
"You answer it," Will smirked, knowing hearing Lily's voice would likely drive his wife into a fit of hysteria.
"Okay!" She took the phone from his hands and slid her thumb over the on key, already a master of the technology. "Hi, Mommy! I miss you! Come home, please!" She shouted, hearing a gasp at the other end of the line. "Mommy? I love you!"
X
Emma choked on her words as a lump in her throat grew. She'd anticipated getting Will's voicemail, not the desperate pleading of her preschooler. "Hey, Lily," She managed to whisper. "I miss you, too, honey. And I love you very much."
"Are you coming home? Are you five minutes away?"
The mother pressed a hand to her chest, trying to remain in control of her body as the familiar question brought back repressed memories of a two-year-old version of the child she was speaking with.
"Mamma come home?" Lily looked up at her father from her spot on the floor, tears forming as she was beyond ready for sleep but refused to do so without being snuggled by her mother.
"Mommy's coming home very soon, baby girl. Why don't we go lay down and wait for her, okay?" Will lifted her but was quickly hit in the nose by her palm.
"No! Want Mamma!"
With a stern look, Will took her hand and held it tightly. "We do not hit, Lily. And Mommy is on her way, I promise. Let's just go—"
"Want Mamma!" She cried, throwing her head back in sleep-deprivation. "Want Mamma!"
Will groaned and moved them to his bed, taking his phone out and sighing again when realizing it was well past ten and Lily's bedtime was two and a half hours ago. Dialing the phone quickly and silencing his daughter, Will was relieved when his wife picked up. "Hey Em, you on your way?"
"Yeah!" Emma giggled, clearly intoxicated as she'd had ladies' night out with the faculty, which generally involved drinking games with the Bieste. "Why?" She shouted into the phone.
"You're not driving, are you?" Will asked, concerned.
"Will, I'm drunk, not dumb. I'm in a taxi with Shannie."
He breathed a sigh of relief, "Okay. Do you think you're in a state to assure your baby that you'll be home shortly?"
"I'll always be home for my baby! Give Lily the phone!" Will held the mobile up to his daughter's ear, "Hi, honey, it's Mommy!"
"Mamma? Come home!" Lily yelled, "Mamma!"
"Baby, sh, sh...it's oaky. Mommy's going to be home in five minutes, I promise, baby, I promise."
"Come home?"
"Yep, Lily. I'm coming home. I'm five minutes away. That means very, very soon."
The baby giggled into the phone and said, "Mamma love!"
Emma laughed as well, "I love you, too."
Within five minutes time, as promised, Emma stepped into the bedroom, to find Lily teetering from the edge of the bed, waiting eagerly for a hug. Ignoring the world spinning around her, Emma put her night of fun behind her and stretched out her arms to embrace her daughter.
"Baby, I'm not five minutes away. Honey, I'm at Nana and Grandpa's house."
"Are you coming home in a little while?"
"...No, sweetheart." She sighed long, keeping her tears behind her eyelashes. "I need to talk to Daddy."
"No! Mommy, please? I want you to come home! I need you, Mommy!"
At the statement, Emma lost control of the dam keeping her sobs at bay.
"Mommy? Why are you crying? Mommy?" Lily's voice rang loud and concerned until a shuffle and exchange of the cellphone were conducted.
"Hey, Em." Will was surprisingly calm and genuinely concerned sounding. "You alright?"
"No!" She heaved, "No, I'm not alright!"
"Take a few deep breaths." His words were soothing, his rhythmic sounds brought Emma's natural cadence back to a sense of stability. "Keep breathing, you're okay."
"W-Will, I'm so sorry, I—"
Emma was cut off by a heavy sigh. "Emma, it's not all your fault. I was awful to you on the phone a few days ago. I've done a lot of thinking over the last few days, and between the disaster at preschool and the disaster in my head, I don't know how much longer I can stand being away from you."
"You...you want me back?"
Will laughed a little, "I need you back, Em. I'm an unorganized mess without you. I know you think that you being away is helping Lily—"
"—Daddy, I want to talk to Mommy—"
"—Just a second, baby...But Emma, there's nothing I or anyone else here can do to convince her to stay at preschool. There's no methodology I can find to calm her after a meltdown. Maybe that's stifling the progress she can make, but there's no sense in a little girl getting sick all the time...that's not going to help her make progress either. We've got to start fighting the battle before we can even get close to the demons. I know you think you're holding Lily back, but in reality...you're the only one who can guide her forward."
"Will," Emma cried softly, "Will...I just...I'm afraid to come home."
"Why?" His voice was soft, patient. "Tell me why you're scared."
She sniffed loudly, pacing the space from her window to the pale, lavender bed. "I'm scared that everything is going to change...and that I'm going to be back to my same self...that Lily's going to get worse...that you are only going to want me around to help with her," Emma mumbled the last part, being as honest as she could.
X
"Emma, no, Emma...oh my god, no." Will sat up, eyes focused on the three-year-old waiting patiently on the floor in front of him. "You're more than just her mother. You're my wife. And I love you, unconditionally. I'm sorry I snapped at you and told you to stay there. I was angry...and...Emma, I love you. Truly, madly, deeply, and I'd sing that to you, but I don't want to make you cry anymore," He laughed and was at peace to hear her choked giggle as well. "Emma, we both want you back here. If you think you need a few more days, that's fine. I'm not going to try the preschool thing again until you're back, though. Lily needs you for that."
He could tell she was considering her options. "Look, you don't need to decide now. At least take tonight to think on whether or not you need additional time. I understand, Em. I want you back in the best shape you can be, for Lily and myself. Take your time. I've got a little monster here that needs some attention, however. Just call me sometime tomorrow night when you have everything figured out. I love you."
"I-I love you too," Emma stuttered. "Thank you, Will...for everything."
Will bent his head low, nodding with a smirk. "You're welcome, Em."
They mutually hung up and Will lifted his arms out for Lily to jump into. "Mommy's coming home, baby girl. In a few days, she'll be here, okay?"
Lily beamed, "She still loves me?"
He smoothed her hair. "So much, baby. So much. She just needs a few more days to feel better and she's going to come home and be with you."
"Just me?" Will laughed and squeezed her tightly.
"I think she's coming home to see me, too."
"How come we don't visit her at Nana and Grandpa's house?"
"Because, Lily, we can—" He paused his sentence and stood, remembering school wasn't in session for Friday and Monday because of the Labor Day weekend. "We can go see her. We'll go tomorrow night."
"I am sleepy, Daddy." Lily yawned as they passed their half-way point to Virginia the following evening. It was dawning around the little girl's bedtime, and her constant chatter and whining was grating on Will's nerves as he attempted to stay focused on the road.
"Baby, it is almost bedtime. You could put your blankie over your lap and try to fall asleep."
"But you got to sing me!"
Will pressed the power button on the radio, turning until he found a clear station with a quiet, soothing song he could sing along with.
"Oh, Daddy, this one!" Lily chirped as he fell on a country tune. His lips turned up and he softly sang the verse, an image of his wife coming to mind as he did so, and laughing when Lily joined him on the chorus.
"...I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now...Daddy, what's drunk?"
The curly-haired Spanish teacher choked a laugh and cleared his throat, "Don't worry about it. Just close your eyes."
"Is it bad?" She gasped, rubbing at her eyes.
"No...well, yes...not really. Lily, honey, go to sleep."
"Is it when you go to jail?"
"No, Lily," Will puffed, trying to find a child-appropriate way to explain intoxication. "Honey, it's like...it's like when you drink too much juice and your tummy feels full. Only it's a special kind of juice, and it makes you dizzy, like when you spin around in circles. Is that enough for you?"
"Yeah. 'Night, Daddy. I hope we don't get drunk when we drink our orange juice in the morning!"
Will laughed again, "Oh, Lily, I can't see that happening...unless Grandpa's got vodka," He muttered under his breath, watching his princess fall asleep in the rearview mirror.
Taking a moment to listen to the song close, Will pulled off to the side of the road, flipping through his contacts in his cellphone, contemplating turning around.
Emma hadn't called him since their conversation the afternoon previously. He was starting to think that driving to surprise her would mean rushing her into returning home when she wasn't ready.
Drumming his fingers on the wheel, Will decided to make the call.
It wasn't even a full ring before an answer greeted him.
"Hey," Emma's voice rang sweetly through the receiver. "How's it going?"
He smiled to himself and leaned back in the seat. "Alright. Lily just fell asleep...I guess I'm getting needy for some adult conversation."
A sympathetic sigh met his ears. "I'm sorry, Will. Anything...anything you want to talk about in particular?"
"No...no, I'm good. I think I really just wanted to hear the sound of your voice. I miss you. I love you." His inflection was strained as he fought back tears. "Emma, I really do still love you."
Her response was a muffled sob. "Oh, Will...I miss you, too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be, Emma. I understand. I really do. I just...I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Will, what—?"
He hung up the phone, cutting her off and eyeing Lily one last time before checking his blind spot extra cautiously before pulling back onto the highway.
"Sh, sh," Will whispered, rubbing Lily's back and kissing her temple as she stirred in his arms while Linda held the front door open for the two of them around one in the morning when Will finally arrived in Virginia. "Sh, baby, it's okay."
The three-year-old yawned and closed her eyes once more as her grandmother led them to Ed's office, where a sofa had been converted into a bed for the little girl.
She didn't move as Will covered her with a blanket and stroked her curls a few times before returning to the vehicle to grab their bags. When he stepped back into the house, Linda embraced her son-in-law fiercely before nodding to the stairs.
He took them two at a time, pausing with a heavy hand on the door handle of Emma's childhood room. Closing his eyes, Will took a breath and nodded to himself before silently entering the purple abode.
Emma was propped up on top of the comforter, with a quilt over her lap and a book lying open on her stomach, the light from her nightstand casting shadows across her face as Will stepped closer.
Stealthily, he removed her book, and smiled softly when he caught a glimpse of the cover, a book about disciplining children with special needs. After setting it down, he brushed his wife's cheek with the pads of his fingertips, whispering her name.
Emma's eyelids fluttered and she groaned while turning her face towards the pillow her back was against. "Will, it's late..." Then she recognized what she was saying. "Will!" She sat up straight, her large brown eyes burning holes into Will's. "Will!" Her arms were wrapped around his neck before he had a chance to assure her that it was really him. "Oh, Will!"
Tears landed on his shoulder and dripped into his neck, but Will didn't care as he rocked his wife back and forth. "Sh, Emma..." He repeated from comforting his daughter earlier, "Emma, it's alright. I'm here...I'm not going anywhere."
She pulled away and stared at his face, rubbing his chin and letting out a wet laugh, "You need to shave."
He smirked and felt his skin, shrugging before attacking her face and chest with his stubble, nuzzling into Emma, making her giggle and fall back onto the bed, pulling him with her. "How come you drove all the way out here? Not that I don't want you here."
"Because...I love you and couldn't sleep another night alone without you. I know I said I'd give you time, but I guess I'm selfish. I want to be with you. And if Lily asked me one more time when she could see you—"
"She's here?" Emma sat up so quickly the couple smacked foreheads, groaning. "I'm sorry...Ow..."
Will kissed the place where a goose egg was sure to form on her flawless skin. "She's sleeping in you dad's office. No sense in waking her now, you'll see her in the morning."
Emma nodded and Will rolled off of her, laying on his side and stroking her arm. "I've missed you. I'm so sorry for being upset with you."
"You had every right to be, Will. I'm sorry that I took off. That was out of line, and I'll—"
He silenced her with a kiss. "Maybe we should both just apologize and move on."
Emma blinked then nodded again, snuggling her face into his chest. "I love you, Will."
"I love you, too, Em."
Emma yawned the following morning as the sun peaked in through the blinds of her window. It was well before six, but she knew she wouldn't be sleeping anymore. Her endorphins still had her glowing from the night before. Will was sprawled on the right side of the bed, wearing nothing but a sheet and a glimmer of sweat that hadn't gone away from their activities only hours previous. Carefully sneaking out of the bed, Emma turned the ceiling fan on and found her clothes from the day before to roam around the house in.
After descending the stairs as quietly as possible, the redhead stretched and moved into the kitchen, humming softly until selecting two slices of bread and letting them warm in the toaster.
"Daddy?" She heard a quiet, panicked cry from down the hall. "Daddy?"
"Lily," She breathed, moving with haste to her father's office, flinging the door open to see the confused face of her three-year-old, "Lily!"
"Mommy?" The bitty version of herself shrieked, "Mommy! Is it really you?"
Emma crossed the carpet to sit on the bed, reaching for Lily's face. "Oh, sweetie, it's really me. It's Mommy."
"Mommy!" Lily sobbed and threw her arms around her, "Mommy, please, please don't ever leave me again!"
The older redhead began to cry quietly as well, shaking as she held her daughter as tightly as she could, rocking her comfortingly, kissing her tears and stroking her back. "I won't. Lily Ann, I promise you, I am not leaving ever again."
The two sat in silence for over an hour, Lily clinging to Emma as tightly as possible. When movement in the living room caught Emma's attention, she shifted her daughter to look at her face and wiped all traces of tears from both their cheeks. "Are you hungry, sweetie?"
Lily nodded and the two made their way to the kitchen, where Linda smiled widely at them, reaching for her granddaughter. "Good morning, my little pumpkin!"
The little girl shied away, hiding her face in Emma's neck.
"Oh, did you miss your Mommy, Lil?" The elder Pillsbury rubbed Lily's back while she nodded. "Okay, I'll let you get reunited...I'll throw some eggs on, Em."
"Thanks," Emma mouthed. "Where's the booster seat at?"
"Hall closet, on the floor to the right, dear."
"Mommy, don't go!" Lily shouted when her mother attempted to set her on her feet. "Please!"
"Sweetheart, I'm just going down the hall. You can come with me if you want to."
Lily hugged Emma's leg with a vice grip, rubbing her face on her thigh. "Please, pick me up?"
While at first feeling guilty after leaving the three-year-old alone for a week, Emma shook her head, keeping in mind the tactics for dealing with behavior problems that she'd been reading about. Bending to her daughter's level, she put one hand on the girl's shoulder, looking her square in the eye. "Lily, I am going down the hall. You may come with me, but I am not going to carry you right now. I will carry you later when I'm not getting something."
The smaller of the two redheads blinked slowly, comprehending the deal given by her mother. "Mommy, I want to come with you." She finally said, slowly, as if she weren't sure she understood.
Emma smiled, thankful it had worked, and took Lily's hand, leading them near the front door, where the seat was retrieved and carried to the kitchen.
"Let's go play outside on the swings!" Lily squeaked later that afternoon as she bounced on Will's frame, waking him up from a nap in a recliner.
"Baby, ask your Mommy to swing with you," He mumbled, pulling a blanket over his face.
Lily deemed the idea appropriate and skipped into her grandparent's bedroom, where Emma was working on putting the final touches of ribbon on a pink wrapped box. "Mommy, is it Nana's birthday?"
"No," Emma giggled, opening her arms for a hug from the preschooler. "This is for someone else. You'll just have to wait and see."
"Okay! Mommy, will you swing with me?"
For the first time ever, Emma agreed. "I would love to swing with you, baby girl."
"Hooray! Come on! Come on!" Lily tugged her mother's hand, leading them through the hallway and out the backdoor. "Oops! I forgot to put on shoes!"
Emma observed both their bare feet and shrugged. "It's okay to go outside with no shoes on, Lily."
The three-year-old appeared apprehensive. "Mommy, the ground is dirty. And what if I step on a bug?"
"You know what, Lily?" Emma smiled brightly and kissed the top of her daughter's head. "You'll wash off. You'll be fine. Do you trust me, sweetheart?"
Lily bit her lip and nodded. "I trust you, I do!"
"Alright. Come on, then."
They stepped off the deck and into the grass, Lily scrunching the cold, green earth between her toes and laughing. "It tickles!"
Emma had to hold back her tears of joy in seeing her daughter so ecstatic about her newfound freedom. Lily skipped in a circle with her hands in the air. She paused, starring into the field that Emma had discovered herself in nearly a week previous. "Can we go on an adventure, Mommy?"
The mother nodded, not correcting her daughter's mispronunciation of adventure. "What kind of adventure, Lil?"
"I want to go over there!" Lily pointed to a shed-like building on the opposite side of the field. "I want to see what's inside!"
"Oh, I don't think there's anything in there anymore. We haven't used that in a long time."
"Can we still go see it?" She begged.
"I suppose," Emma grinned and took Lily's hand, walking them towards the edge of the field. "Ready?" Lily nodded, her curls bouncing as they stepped in together, walking slowly. Emma sighed and squeezed Lily's hand lightly. "I'm glad you're here with me, Lily."
The two took their time reaching the edge of the field, carful to avoid any unsuspecting prickers and weeds. Finally nearing their destination, Lily sprinted in front of her mother, standing on her tiptoes to see inside of a dusted window on the small building. "What is this place, Mommy?"
"It was a playhouse. Your Aunt Annie and I used to play back here with our cousins. Sort of like when you play with JoJo and Kendal."
"And Natalie!" She squeaked, giving mention to her favorite cousin who typically wanted nothing to do with the whiny three-year-old.
"Of course, Natalie, too. We used to pretend this was our own house, and we never let any of the boys in. Uncle Kevin was especially not allowed to come in when we were playing in here!"
Emma squatted to view the inside of the shed-like playhouse, cringing at the layers of dirt and cobwebs that had built up over the years.
"Can I play in there?" Lily questioned, "Can Jo and K'dal and Natalie come, too?"
"No, honey," Emma answered honestly, "It is really gross in there. Lots of bugs and dust and probably mold have taken over in there. You wouldn't want to go in."
"Can we clean it out?"
The elder Schuester lady sighed, keeping her head low. "Lily, I..." Realizing it would be a prime opportunity to put a test to her freedom from her disease, she agreed, thinking through a way to safely go about clearing out the playhouse which hadn't been used in some fifteen years. "Okay. We'll have to go back to the house and put on some shoes, pants, long sleeves and get some cleaning supplies. I don't want us to get hurt or sick in there."
They returned to the house, gathering the supplies they would need for an afternoon of scrubbing. Will gave Emma an eye when she said cleaning, but when she revealed the condition of the area she was decontaminating, he understood and didn't try to stop his girls.
Emma heaved a bucket with products and gloves while Lily carried a child-sized broom, galloping with it like it was a horse.
"Alright, Lily. I'm going to go into it first, and make sure there's nothing dangerous. Does that sound okay to you?"
She nodded, and Emma took a calming breath before opening the padlock on the door, about three inches shorter than she was, and slowly peeling it back on it's hinges.
"Is it safe, Mommy?"
"Hang on, let me open the windows," Emma hollered back, pulling on a pair of plastic gloves and entering the place. She cringed at the amount of cobwebs on the ceiling and the warm smell of stale air, but not seeing anything move right away, she mustered up all the courage she had and moved forward, unlocking the hinges on all the windows of the light green building. Using the same key as before, she opened the back door, letting in as much fresh oxygen in as possible. Once she was at the back, Emma opened an electrical box a few feet away, flipping on several switches which would turn the decades-old lightbulbs inside on. Surprised none of the bulbs needed to be replaced, Emma pulled a small flashlight out of her pocket, scanning all of the shelves and corners for living creatures.
"Okay, Lily...bring me the broom, sweetheart. You might want to wait a few minutes for me to get some of the spiderwebs out of here before you come in."
"Here you go!" The three-year-old piped, handing the small device to her mother. "Tell me when the spidey's gone!"
"Yes, Princess," Emma laughed, kissing her temple as she returned to the porch portion of the playhouse.
The mother took a large gulp of air before wincing and knocking the spider's nests down, trying not to shriek as they fell, floating to the ground and narrowly missing the exposed skin of her face. It took a few minutes, but once they were gone and all signs of bugs past were removed from the little home, Lily stepped inside and marveled at the structure. "Mommy, you did a good job!"
"Thanks, baby girl...now, put on a pair of gloves...there you go...and here's what we're going to do..."
The two spent the next several hours washing windows, sponge-scrubbing the grimy, concrete floor, and peeling layers of dust off of the walls.
Lily was wearing out just as the place was nearly clean, giving Emma a chance to step back and marvel at the handiwork which three years ago, would have taken her months to accept was clean. "I think we did very well, Lily. What do you think?"
She yawned and smiled widely. "I think it's beautiful...Can we play in here tomorrow? I'm too sleepy."
"Sure thing...let's just put our cleaning stuff away and close it up for the night."
Once they were done, Lily reached up for a hug and Emma obliged, not caring that their dirty frames were creating more of a mess on one another's clothing. "Thank you for all your help, baby."
"You're welcome, Momma...I love you."
"Oh," Emma squeezed her tight. "I love you, too...now, let's go inside...Daddy and I have a surprise for you."
Lily gasped and pulled away, jumping up and down, "I'm getting a puppy?"
Emma laughed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Lily, you've got to get over the puppy. There's never going to be a puppy."
She mock-pouted before bouncing again. "What is it, what is it?"
Her mother took her hand and led them into the house. "We'll eat some dinner and then we'll see what it is."
Once the family was fed and Lily and Emma were free of dust from their afternoon project, the entire unit sat around the couches, watching as Will brought the pink package Emma had been wrapping earlier in the day to the center of the living room floor.
"Would my little girl please step forward?" Will teased, holding his hand out for Lily, who bore a cheesy grin in excitement. "Now, Lily, you know that Mommy and I need you to go to preschool, right?"
At the mention of school, the little girl's smile disappeared and tears pooled in her eyes. "Daddy, no! I don't want to—"
"Sh, sh...baby, it's okay. We're going to get this all figured out."
Emma joined them on the floor, crossing her legs and clearing her throat. "Sweetheart, I'm going to be coming with you to school for the next few weeks." She spoke slowly, explaining the situation in a simple, yet realistic way to the three-year-old. "I called Miss Q and she said that it'll be alright. I'll be in the back of the classroom the whole day if you need me. I'm not going to sit with you, and I'm not going to help you with your projects. I won't play with you, either. But I will be there. And I hope that at some point, you'll be okay and I'll be able to go to work in those mornings while you're at school."
Lily processed the information, eventually nodding. "But you'll be there? You'll stay with me?"
Emma gently touched her daughter's cheek. "I won't leave you until you're ready for me to leave."
The preschooler leaned forward into an embrace, muttering, "Daddy should hug us, too."
Will laughed and joined them, hugging both of the most important people in his life. "Do you want to see what's in the present, Lil?"
She pulled away quickly, grinning and clapping her hands in excitement. "What is it? What is it?" She asked, tearing the paper off and pulling the lid off the box. "Wow! It's a dancer outfit! Oh, it's so pretty! And ballet shoes! Pretty pink!" Lily squealed, pulling leotards, skirts, a bag and shoes out of the box.
"Now, you know the deal, Lily," Will reminded her, leaning back on his palms. "You have to be able to stay in school all day with no meltdowns if you want to go to dance class."
Lily pouted for a moment, then pulled on a tutu and spun around in a circle. "I'll stay in school, Daddy! I promise!"
Saturday afternoon had Lily wilder than ever. After a tea party in the playhouse, she demanded the family go somewhere outside of the home.
"Honey, there's not a lot of places of us to go," Emma attempted to explain to Lily as she skipped around the living room and into the hallway, a flurry of hyperactivity.
"Let's go for a walk into town!" She yelled from the balcony at the top of the stairs as she summersaulted into what had been Annie's room. Will charged up the stairs, picking his daughter up by the armpits and tossing her in the air, forcing squeals and giggles out of her. "Daddy, let's go!"
"We're in a very tiny town, kiddo. It's even smaller than ours. There aren't a whole lot of things to do," Will sighed, kissing her cheek. "But if you'd like to go into town, I guess we could take you."
"Thank you, Daddy!" She beamed, scrambling down. "I have to get my shoes on!"
Will followed her down the stairs and took his wife's hand, pulling her up and meeting her in a kiss. "I can take her by myself, you don't have to come if you don't want to."
"No, I'll come, of course," She walked towards the front door, toeing on her flip-flops and watching Lily struggle with the buckles on her shoes. "Want some help, sweetheart?"
"No, Mommy! Big girls have to do things all by themselves!"
Emma stepped back and blinked, not prepared for those words to come out of her daughter's mouth, but excited to hear them nonetheless.
Two minutes later, Lily's shoes were strapped and she was turning the handle of the door when Ed and Linda appeared from the kitchen, claiming they'd like to join the Schuester family into town, and that they were going to be meeting up with Annie and Kevin's families at one of the local diners.
The five walked the two miles into town, stopping right away at one of the boutiques which was ran by one of Linda's good friends. "Delilah, you remember her, don't you, dear?" Emma nodded, "Well, she has been begging me to bring my baby granddaughter here for months, if you don't mind, the men can wait out here."
"Oh, that's fine, come on, Lil, let's go inside," Emma smiled at her three-year-old, who grimaced slightly at the thought of meeting someone new. "It'll be alright," Emma whispered, "I'll be right here."
"Linda, oh heavens, is that my Emma? Goodness, how you've grown! Gosh, the last time I saw you, you was only in the middle school. Oh goodness, you're just too much!" Delilah greeted Emma, who attempted to keep her cool as the plump, southern woman kissed her cheek. "And this must be the baby! Hey there, cupcake! If you're not the cutest little thing I've ever seen! Oh my, Linda...I dare say, she's just as precious as a flower!"
Trying not to roll her eyes, the mother of the 'precious flower' lifted Lily onto her hip, who was clearly uncomfortable being fawned over. "You are going to enter her in your town's Little Miss competition, aren't you, Emma? Carry on your legacy? Oh, she's bound to win. There ain't no way she couldn't! Just the cutest little thing, the cutest! Come here, Lily darlin'!" Lily's brown eyes grew wide as Delilah attempted to reach out for her.
"She's quite shy," Linda objected, "She'd prefer it if her mother continued to hold her, I'm sure."
"Oh, that's alright," Delilah ruffled Lily's curls, making the preschooler pout. "Darlin, Emma, come with me now, I'm sure we could find something in this shop that would just be perfect for the next Little Miss!"
"Um, that's alright," Emma said with a shaky breath, "Honestly, I'm not sure we're going to be doing that with Lily, and I really don't have the money to be spending on a pageant—"
"Hogwash!" Delilah placed her hands on her hips. "Do you think I'd charge anything for a sweet little pumpkin like this? No, consider it a gift. Treating the princess like royalty, if you will...ah! Here we go!" The blonde reached forward and lifted a tiara off of a pillow it was resting on. "This is for the princess," Lily giggled as the silver, gem-covered crown was placed on her head, "And of course, she'll be needing a gown! Can't win the grand supreme without it! I have the most perfect cupcake platter skirts back here, if you'll let me know a size?"
"It's really not—" Emma attempted objecting again, trying to explain that she was anti-beauty pageant, but was interrupted by the insistent shopkeeper, "Um, she's wearing a little girls' three right now."
"Aha! I think that blue would just look absolutely charming on her, what about you, Linda?"
The grandmother nodded. "That it would."
"Alright, Lily, dear...what do you think?" Delilah held up an extravagant pageant dress, complete with all the rhinestones a three-year-old could ask for.
"Oh, gosh, I can't just take that, it's too much," Emma attempted to refuse, but Lily stopped her this time.
"It's so pretty! Wow!"
The owner gleamed and pressed a kiss to the little girl's cheek. "Let me get this wrapped up for you ladies. Oh, Lily, go ahead and pick a wand and a bear from that back wall! Every grand supreme gets her prize!"
She scrambled from Emma's arms and stared at a row of teddy bears and fairy wands, eyes wide with the power to make the best decision.
"Thank you, so much," Emma said quietly to the blue-eyed woman. "I don't know how—"
"Nonsense," Delilah slurred, "Darlin' anything I can do to help a winner! I know a winning Little Miss when I see one!"
Emma cringed, as she was horribly opposed to the idea of placing her preschooler in a beauty contest, but kept her silence as Lily ran to the front, shouting a million 'thank you's to Delilah.
Once they finally made it out of the shop, Linda burst into laughter while her daughter glared her down. "Not what I had in mind, Mom."
"Oh please, dear. You just got your daughter a three thousand dollar dress for free. You remember winning the Little Miss pageant, don't you? You liked it! Enter Lily next summer, you never know what could come of it. Don't complain, hon. Alright, men, to Sarah's!"
The family walked to the diner, Will with a smirk of satisfaction on his face with the knowledge that he now had the resources to place his daughter in the Little Miss Lima competition in the summer, something he'd wanted to do since she was born. "What?" He asked as Emma gave him a dangerous look. "We know she's a little princess. Shouldn't the rest of the town, too?"
She didn't respond as they arrived at the restaurant and were tackled by their nieces and nephews who were waiting outside with their parents.
"Annie!" Emma smiled again when she caught sight of her sister pacing towards her with open arms.
"Feeling better?" She asked, kissing her sister's cheek and hugging her tightly.
"Yeah, yeah, I really am."
All eight kids and adults moved inside, enjoying a noisy meal and one another's company. As it was ending, Kevin motioned for Emma to step aside with him.
"So, Em...well, we're taking the kids to Uncle Robby's Farm after this...you know...the dairy farm. I wanted to invite Lily, and since you're making so much progress...I thought now might be a good time to go back and face...what I did to you. I want to be there, with you...and just..."
Emma mulled the idea over with crossed arms, eventually clearing her throat and shrugging. "I've come this far."
Her older brother smiled and pulled her into a hug. "We're going to face this, together, Em. You've got me, your sister, parents, husband and kid all here to support you. You're going to get through it.
Emma's stomach was in nervous knots as they struggled up the hilly roads in a caravan of her sibling's vans. "You're alright," Linda rubbed her shoulder. "Honey, we're all going to be there for you."
Within twenty minutes they'd arrived, and the youngest of the Pillsbury siblings had never felt more terrified to see a herd of cows.
Will opened the van door and helped his wife step out, hugging her close as the overpowering odor of manure hit her nose. "Take it easy," He murmured, releasing her waist and picking up Lily. "We're going to do this, alright? It's okay...Don't be afraid, Em."
"Mommy, are moo cow's scary?" Lily asked.
The truth was, they were. For Emma, this was the last fear she had to face. "Um, you know what, Lily? Moo cows are, in fact, not scary. Mommy just has a, uh...silly little fear with them."
"Oh, Mommy! It's okay! I'm scared of lots of things! Like school!"
She didn't respond as they walked through the entrance of the barn, Will kept to her right, Kevin on her left, and Annie in front, with her parents and the clan of children behind them.
Uncle Robby, a large, rednecked man who was a cousin of Linda, stepped out to greet his extended family. "How ya'll doin? Emmie? That you? Weren't ever 'xpectin to see ya here again."
She shrugged and cringed. "Things change."
"I'd hoped so fer a long time, darlin'...well, fer the kids who ain't never been to Uncle Robby's, welcome...if you'll come with me, I'll give ya the tour..."
The nieces and nephews went with Kevin's wife, Leah, and Annie's husband, Sam, while the rest of the family walked slowly to the site of Emma's initial anxiety episode.
Her throat was closing with unshed tears as they drew closer and the smell became stronger. The silence was giving Lily the impression that something important was happening, making her anxious. "Mommy, I don't want to go here," She peeped.
Emma couldn't speak, but shook her head, giving nonverbal directions to Linda to remove her daughter from the scene.
Once the two were gone, Emma fell to her knees, crying.
"Em, honey..." Will sat next to her, taking her hands away from their clasped position around her nose. "We haven't even gotten there yet...it's alright, come on, sweetheart..." He tried lifting her up, but she shook her head, composing herself enough to make a brief statement.
"I-I need...I need time."
"Okay. Take all the time you need, Emmie," Kevin offered his sister anything she needed. "If you want to do this alone—"
"No! No...No...please...stay..." She looked up at her sister and father, who were both waiting for her next move. "Okay...let's...let's move on."
They walked further through the maze of cows, mooing and glaring hard at Emma, who shook her head, trying to keep her cool. It wasn't long before they opened the door, and the group of five made their way down a small path.
Emma paused again as the smell grew closer. Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, she turned to the grass and released the contents of her lunch, heaving and placing her hands on her knees.
Will rubbed her back, "We can go—"
"No...no, I'm okay...I'm really okay," Emma took a few deep breaths, taking a sip of the water bottle that her sister pulled from her purse. "Okay, alright...time...time to do this."
She took each Will and Kevin's hands, walking towards the fence on the edge of the path that led to the runoff lagoon. She closed her eyes, only opening them when the trio was right in front of the place she'd lost her sanity in.
"That's disgusting," She shuddered, gaging a few times before regaining her composure. "I'm okay, I'm okay...it's just...it's just..." Suddenly, Emma began laughing, facing her brother. "It's just cow shit. I've been...walking around like a crazy person...for how many years...because of cow shit? Oh my god..." She placed her head in her hands, laughing again, "Oh my god! It's just cow shit!"
Kevin hugged his sister as tightly as he could, not caring that she was covering his shirt in happy tears. "It is just cow shit, Emmie...that's all it is...Just cow shit." He released her and she hit him on the shoulder. "I guess I deserve that, huh?"
"Yeah...you do," Ed commented from behind them, his arms open for Emma to throw herself into. "It's just cow shit, ladybug. Just stinky, disgusting, cow shit."
After enough time for closure was given, the five met back up with the rest of the family, Will holding Emma's hand as tightly as he could, without words in astonished recognition of her progress.
It wasn't long after the yogurt tasting that the group left, quiet on the car ride home. Kevin dropped the Schuester's and his parents off at their house, giving them a few quiet hours to spend together before heading to bed early to be on the road in the morning.
Ed and Linda sat in the love seat while Will, Emma and Lily snuggled on the sofa, all taking in the warmth of one another's presence.
"I'm so proud of you, Emma," Linda said softly, shaking her head. "So proud. Of everything. Of this entire journey you've been on. You probably still have a little ways to go, not to disregard the progress you've made...but you're better, dear...you're finally better."
Emma flushed and turned into Will's chest. "Thanks, Mom...I'm proud of me, too."
"Ready?" Emma was crouched at Lily's height in front of her preschool classroom on Tuesday morning, trying to meet her eyes. "Lily, look at me, baby..." The three-year-old's face was scrunching in the signs of an impending meltdown, but her mother was set on preventing it. "No, no...no tears, honey. Look, the class is already started. We'll go in, you'll take a spot in the circle, and I will stand in the back, okay? I'll be right there. I'm not going anywhere."
"Mommy," She whimpered, leaning in for a hug.
After receiving it, Emma stood and took her daughter's hand, silently leading them into the classroom. Her peers, including Scott, were settled around a blue carpet, each on a separate letter. There was one letter left.
"Look, Lil! They left the 'L' open just for you! Go on," Emma whispered, kissing her cheek and pushing her gently forward.
Lily shook her head again, but Miss Q sat in the front, with a big smile on her face. "Good morning Lily! Friends, can you all say hello to Lily?" The class gave a chorus of greetings and Miss Q pointed to the 'L,' "We saved you a spot right on the 'L,' kiddo. How about you take your seat and we'll start by singing the Good Morning song!"
It took Lily a few minutes to sit down, and when she did, she was planted firmly behind the rug, not a part of the circle.
Emma bit her thumb in the back of the classroom, unsure if she should intervene. Lily would likely participate if she were on her mother's lap...but she felt that may be overstepping her boundaries. "Mrs. Schuester, would you like to join us in the circle?" Miss Q nodded Emma over, as if reading her thoughts. Emma nodded back, glad she'd chosen some stylish skinny jeans instead of a skirt to wear for the day as she sat 'criss-cross-applesauce' on the rug, smiling at Scott who gave her a wave. Lily quickly sat in her lap, folding her hands in her lap.
Lily watched the students as they participated in circle time, and Emma did her best to attempt to get her to join the rest of the children. She smiled in the last moments when Miss Q started to sing a tune that the three-year-old was very familiar with, and Lily quietly finished with her, "Mister sun, sun, mister golden sun, please shine down on me!"
Emma kissed her cheek and whispered, "That's very nice of you to participate in class."
The day carried on, with Emma leading Lily into her activities, guiding her, giving reassuring praise as often as she could.
"Can we go see Daddy?" Lily begged Emma as they left the preschool after successfully completing her first day.
Emma lifted the three-year-old into the car, strapping her safely into her car seat. "We could, but just for today. We're not going to see him everyday after school, okay?"
"But it's just up the road, Mommy!" She huffed, pouting.
"Do you not want to go at all?" Emma raised a brow, keeping control over the situation.
Tears welled in her eyes. "Mommy!"
"Lily. I'm not arguing," Emma's tone lowered, causing the little girl to shrink. "I will take you today, but we're not going every single day after school. Understand?"
"Okay," She muttered, "I'm sorry."
The mother's tone softened, "That's better. Ready to go?" Lily nodded and Emma kissed the top of her head, closing the door and driving the short distance to McKinley.
Emma didn't have a chance to sign into the office when they entered the building, as Lily tore through the hallway at full speed, sprinting to Will's classroom and throwing the door open, attacking his legs, catching him and the entire class off guard. "Daddy, I stayed the whole day! And I only cried three times!"
Will blinked and shook his head, apologizing to the class in Spanish. "Lily, how did you get here?"
Emma stepped into the doorway, winded from chasing her daughter. "Sorry," She breathed. "Honey, you can't just...oh, hello kids," She laughed nervously upon seeing the students confusion. "Lily, come on let's go wait in my office."
"It's fine," Will lifted his daughter onto his hip and explained to the class, "We've got two minutes, anyway. You guys can talk quietly while staying in your seats."
Lily squeezed his neck and Will walked Emma to his desk, where she threw herself into his seat, clearly embarrassed. "Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt."
He shrugged. "It's really fine. We were just about finished. How was your first day, baby girl?" He asked, kissing Lily's temple.
"Um, it was okay."
"What did you do?" Will questioned, trying to probe her to talk about the positive aspects of her school day.
"We sat in a circle. And colored. And Mommy helped me play Little People with Scott and another boy. His name was Tommy. He sneezed on me and I cried."
Emma shook her head, trying not to laugh. "Oh, honey, he didn't mean it..." She paused as the bell rang and the classroom emptied out. "Want to get some lunch?"
Will nodded and offered her a hand, walking the family to the cafeteria, finding a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for both his girls, making both of their faces light up.
They settled down in the teachers lounge, Lily boosted in a chair on a stack of books. Will cut the crust off her sandwich and stuck a straw in a juice box, asking, "What was your favorite part of preschool?"
Lily munched on a carrot from Will's lunch, thinking. "When we left, and Scottie gave me a big hug!"
Emma groaned and leaned her face into her palms. "Oh, Lily...wasn't there anything fun during the school day?"
She shrugged, "Daddy are you comin' home with us?"
"Baby, I have to teach," He shook his head. "But, you stayed at school, so when I do get home, I'm going to take you to dance class."
Her face brightened and she bounced in her seat. "Mommy, will you come, too?"
Emma took Lily's hand. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Before Lily's first dance class that night, Emma had an appointment with the therapist that her daughter had been seeing. She was nervous about seeing the woman, afraid that Dr. Laura would question whether or not Emma really had a handle on her OCD. But when she was called back, the guidance counselor told herself not to let the therapist's opinion eat away at her.
"Hello, Emma." Dr. Laura bore a smile. Usually, the mere sight of the mousey-haired psychologist had Emma on edge, but now that her daughter wasn't the patient, she seemed to have a milder view of her.
"Hello, Dr. Laura...um, I just want you to know that I'm here for myself, not my daughter. Lily won't be coming anymore."
"Oh, I know." She continued to smile. "Have a seat and explain to me exactly what happened after the last time you were in my office?"
Emma told the story of the car accident, the hospital, Lily's PTSD diagnosis, of running away, of finding herself, and of reuniting with her husband and daughter.
"So...you think you're better? That you've found the trigger to your OCD? How have your levels of anxiety been?"
"Well," Emma sat up straight, trying to maintain eye-contact with Dr. Laura. "I really do think that I'm better. I know that I'll always have OCD...but I think...breaking away, running through the mud, facing the place that caused all the stress in the first place...I overcame some of the hardest parts of it all. I just feel...I feel so free. For the first time in my life, I can walk outside without a pair of shoes on...I can leave the sheets on my bed for more than a week...I just...I don't feel controlled by my anxiety anymore. Sure, it's still there...but it's not taking over my life."
Dr. Laura nodded, scribbling down a few notes on a pad of paper. "Emma, I hope you can maintain this level of control. Just know that there are stress-inducing events that may bring your OCD symptoms to the front of your life...But I think that given you've done this all on your own...you've made tremendous progress. And I'm very proud of you."
Emma grinned, agreeing wholeheartedly.
Six weeks later, the last that Emma was supposed to be off work, Lily was moving around her classroom independently, with Emma staying merely for the sake of her unpredictable meltdowns. Thankfully, the distress levels were decreasing with each day.
"Mommy, can we please go to see Daddy?" She asked as she did every day after school.
"No, Mommy's not feeling well," Emma groaned, "We're going to stop at the store and then I'll make you lunch at home, okay?"
"Will you play with me outside?"
Emma's hand fell to her stomach, which had churned itself into tangled knots. "We'll see. I'm going to have you take a nap after lunch—"
"Mommy!" Lily complained as they drove through Lima, "I don't want to take a nap!"
"It's not something I'm going to argue about with you, Lily. We're going to stop by the store, eat lunch and lay down."
"But I—"
Emma's eyebrows twitched in frustration. "Enough," She said sternly, making eye contact with her daughter in the rearview mirror, making the three-year-old shrink.
"Sorry," Lily muttered, her thumbs rubbing together. "Sorry, Mommy."
Sighing, the older redhead swallowed, keeping her eyes intently focused on the road, still cautious after the accident. Pulling into a drugstore, Emma took a deep breath and released Lily from her seat, carrying the three-year-old inside and taking cautious steps to the family planning isle.
"Mommy, what's that?" Lily questioned as her mother picked up a cardboard box.
"Don't worry about it, sweetie." Distracting her, Emma asked, "Do you want a new coloring book to work on this afternoon?"
"Oh, yes please!"
The drive home had Emma's nerves tingling, and once they moved through the hallway, she directed Lily to wait while she used the bathroom.
With shaking fingers, she opened the box, discretely placing it in garbage can. Using the item was much easier than the last time she needed one, nearly four years previous. Her handle on her anxiety allowed her to keep calm.
Placing the item on a stack of paper towel, Emma washed her hands and brought her daughter into the kitchen to help prepare lunch. Once Lily was happily chewing her pasta, the mother raced to her bathroom to see the results.
As she expected, a tiny positive symbol greeted her on the white stick which lay on the counter.
In seven months, the Schuester's would turn into a family of four.
Oh, I just like to update me' fics every five months or so.
If you're still reading this, thank you for the continued support! Hopefully you're still enjoying the journey.
One more chapter to go! And then a third Beautiful fic? More on that next time (hopefully it won't be half a year).