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Anger

"Why are they running more test?" Joey asked the others when once again they had been asked to leave Chandler's room. "What's going on!"

"They're just checking his progress…" Ross sighed.

"What progress?" He replied. "He didn't wake up or move the whole time we were there!"

"That was probably the drugs they had given him, Joe…" Monica answered. "The doctors are doing the best they can."

Joey sighed and sat down. "Yeah, I know…"

They all seemed the fall into a silence until Rachel appeared.

"Did you know!" She demanded going straight up to Ross.

"Rach…" He started unsure what she had been told, he glanced behind her to see her parents heading towards them…from the looks on all their faces he knew they had told her the truth.

"You knew and didn't tell me!" She exclaimed, tears falling from her eyes.

"Tell you what?" Phoebe asked.

"What's going on?" Monica added.

"Did you know too?" She spun around to face her best friend.

"Know what!" Monica questioned, getting frustrated which told Rachel she didn't know.

"Look, Rach…lets just go somewhere and I'll explain, okay?" Ross tried to take her hand but she moved away from.

"I don't want you to explain anything!" She glared at him.

"Ross, what have you done?" Phoebe asked.

"Rachel, please…" Ross pleaded, ignoring Phoebe.

"How could you keep something like that from me?" She cried. "I thought you loved me!"

"I do love you!" He put his hands on her shoulders, making her face him. "I do…I just promised Chandler…I couldn't go behind his back!"

"Will someone tell us what the hell is going on!" Joey raised his voice slightly.

"What's going on out here?" The door to Chandler's room opened and his doctor appeared

"Nothing… everything's fine…" Rachel insisted, once again moving away from Ross. "How is he?"

The doctor looked at them curiously for a moment before answering her question.

"Not so good…he's failing faster then we thought he would…" He told them. "We're now supporting his breathing…if he doesn't get a transplant soon then he'll slip into a coma which he'll probably won't make a full recovery from."

They all cried out, forgetting what was happening just before he had turned up and started to refocus back on Chandler.

"I want to be tested to be a donor…" Rachel announced causing everyone to look at her surprised.

"Oh okay…" The doctor said slowly. "But the chances of you being a match are slim…I mean Chandler has a rare tissue type…like I said before, he's best chance is for a blood relative to donate…."

"I am a blood relative…" She replied.

"What?" Both Phoebe and Joey said together, confused.

Monica looked at Rachel then to her parents and at Ross and Chandler's parents, slowly working it all out.

"Oh my god…" She said slowly, it suddenly all made sense. Why Chandler began being overprotective of Rachel. Why he didn't want the others to know he was adopted. Why he always acted weird her parents were around.

"Excuse me?" The doctor asked, obviously as confused as Joey and Phoebe.

"I'm his sister…" She replied, closing her eyes, overwhelming herself by just saying the words.

"But how can you…?" Joey started not getting it.

"Look, this isn't important now!" Rachel snapped turning to glance at them all staring at her before giving her attention back to the doctor. "Can I be tested?"

He nodded slightly. "I'll set it up…. I'll come get you when we're ready for you…"

"Okay, thank you…" Rachel replied as he headed off.

"Rachel, I think we all need to talk…" Sandra started.

"I don't need to talk to you about anything!" She insisted turning to leave as well.

"Rach, where are you going?" Ross asked, following her with the others close behind them.

"I got to call Jill and Amy…" She replied, not bothering to stop. "I might not be a match but they could be…"

"Rachel, just please stop and think about all this?" He pleaded.

"What's there to think about!" She spun around to face him, angrily.

"Well, you heard what he said!" Ross rose his voice slightly too. "He didn't want you to know! He doesn't want you to be a donor!"

"He hasn't got a choice!" She snapped back. "He's lying unconscious and Jill, Amy or I are the only ones who can do something about it!"

"Yes, I know that…" Ross started but she cut him off.

"What do you expect me to do, Ross?" She asked. "Stand by and watch him die knowing that I might be able to save him! Just because he's worried that I might angry with him!"

"No, I don't…."

"If you did then they did you even call them!" She interrupted once more, gesturing towards her parents, who stood side by side with guilty looks.

Ross paused for a minute, frowning. "I never called them…"

"What?" She shook her head. "Of course you did! You were the only one who didn't promise Chandler you wouldn't let them know and then you disappeared…"

"Yeah, I went for a walk…" He explained, glancing at the others. "And I know I never promised I wouldn't tell them but I didn't call them!"

"If you didn't call them…and I didn't…" Nora started slowly turning her glaze to her ex-husband.

He averted his eyes, not being able to look at them. "He hated me for most of his childhood…I'm use to it…I can handle him hating me for this…. As long as he's alive to hate me then that's okay…"

No one spoke; no one knew what to say to him. They all knew that deep down Chandler never really hated him; he was just hurt by everything that had gone on… They just hoped that if Chandler did pull through then he'd be able to see past it all and be grateful to him for what he's done.

"Thank you…" It was Joey who broke the silence.

Charles gave him small smile. "I did it for Chandler…"

"I know…" Joey nodded. "But thank you…"

Once again silence settled over them before Rachel turned and headed towards the payphones again.

"Ross, let her go…" Monica stopped him as he went to go after him.

He sighed and just watched her disappear around the corridor corner.

"Can someone please tell us what's going on now?" Phoebe asked.

"Rachel is Chandler's sister…" Ross explained, his eyes still on the empty spot where Rachel had been.

"Well, yes…we got that part!" Joey rolled his eyes. "But how?"

"They have the same parents!" He finally turned to face them.

Phoebe looked over at Rachel's parents. "You gave him up for adoption?"

"I'm going to find out what's going on with these tests…" Leonard sighed, ignoring her question.

"Find out what about them?" Ross looked at him curiously.

"We came here for a reason…" He replied as he pushed passed them.

"We're going to be tested too…" Sandra added, quietly before following him.

"Wow, I can't believe this is happening…" Joey commented. "Rachel and Chandler are brother and sister?"

"I know this is crazy!" Phoebe agreed.

"How long have you known?" Monica looked at her brother questionably.

"Uh, for quite a while now…." He admitted. "He made me promise not to tell anyone."

"Not even if it meant saving his life?" Rachel appeared behind them.

"Rach…." He sighed. "I wanted to tell you but I could break my promise to him!"

"So, you would have watched him die? Knowing that I could have saved him?" She queried. "What if he had died then I later find out I was a match for him because he's my brother…how the hell do you think I would have felt!"

"I don't know…." He answered. "I didn't really think about it…"

"Someone should have told me…" She insisted quietly.

"I know but I didn't think it was my place too…" He replied, he reached out and touched her arm, comfortingly. "I'm sorry…."

She shrugged away from his touch and stepped back. "Well, that's not important now…Chandler is."

"Okay…" He nodded understandingly. "Did you get hold of your sisters?"

"Yeah…" She answered. "They're on their way."

"Did you tell them?" Monica asked.

"I told them that Mom and Dad gave him up for adoption and I told them he was in hospital but I didn't tell them he needed a transplant…."

"Why not?" Joey frowned.

"I don't know."

"Rach?"

"You don't know my sisters…" She started. "Lately we've all been getting on quite well, sticking together because of this divorce but they're still the same people…"

"So?"

"So, my sisters can be selfish and spoilt…" She sighed. "I guess I was worried if they knew they might be asked to do this then they might not come."

"They can still refuse." Joey stated, unhelpfully getting glares from everyone.

"I know that!" She looked at him. "But this way there's a better chance of me convincing them if we're face to face."

"Okay then…." Ross replied, sighing when she still refused to look at him.

"So…." Joey started, trying to break the silence. Everyone turned to look at him, expecting him to continue. "Umm… So…."

Ross rolled his eyes at him. "I fancy some coffee…anyone else want me to get them one?"

"Yeah, I'll come and help you…" Monica added as they others nodded, accepting his offer.

"Okay and I'll get some sandwiches or something…" He gave them a small smile before looking at his girlfriend. "Any request, Rach?"

"Anything is fine…" She mumbled, turning away from him.

He sighed once more. "Okay then, we'll be back soon."

"You okay, Rach?" Phoebe asked softly once Monica and Ross had gone.

"Fine…" She answered and started walking off again.

"Where you going?" Joey called after her.

"To check on Chandler…"

"Want us to come?" Phoebe questioned.

"No…I think this is something I need to do alone…" She turned, giving them a small smile before entering Chandler's room.

She closed the door quietly and just stood there for a few minutes just watching him; taking in all the wires that linked him up to all the machines, monitoring his heart beat and progress… While there was a tube down his throat, helping him to breathe. She sighed and moved to sit in the chair next to his bed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered. "I would have wanted to know…. I wouldn't have blamed you! You should have just told me…"

She gently took his hand in hers and just held it. Wondering what her reaction would have been like if he had told her to start with…wondering what her childhood would have been like if she grew up with an older brother.

"Y'know what… don't worry about anything okay?" She spoke softly. "You just get better…we can go through all of this some other time…when you're better…"

She leaned down over him, carefully, so she didn't disturb any of the wire and kissed his cheek softly. She took a deep, wavering breath as she walked towards the door and when she reached it, she turned to look back him one more time before silently leaving. She hesitated in joining her friends when she saw Ross and her parents were back.

"Hey…I got you a turkey sandwich…" Ross held it out to her when he spotted her.

"I'm not hungry…." She mumbled, sitting down in between Joey and Monica.

"Rach, you got to eat…" He stated.

"Not at this precise moment I don't!" She shot back, sending him a glare that told him to back off.

"Okay then…." He slowly nodded.

"How's Chandler?" Sandra asked.

Rachel looked at her coldly. "Like you care."

"I do care!" She protested. "You don't know what's all this has been like for me!"

"For you!" Rachel exclaimed. "It was your decision to give him away!"

"I know that but…." She started before stopping. She looked down at the floor before continuing quietly. "I made a mistake."

"Whatever…" Rachel muttered, folding her arms across her chest.

"Young lady, I don't like your attitude…" Leonard said warningly. "We weren't the only one who lied…."

"Oh, I'm sorry…" She replied sarcastically. "Who do you want me to angry at? Chandler? Because I think he's had enough punishment…. At least for one night!"

"I didn't mean that…."

"Well, I guess it was his fault…" She continued, ignoring his attempt to cut in. "I mean, it must have been really annoying that this little baby could interrupt your precious career…."

"Rachel Karen Green you can't talk to me like that!" He raised his voice slightly. "I'm father!"

Rachel stared at him for a moment. He used the voice…the one she was always scared of…. The one she always backed down wrong…. But suddenly it didn't sound so scary anymore.

"No… you're not the same man I thought was my father…" She shook her head slightly. "The father I knew cared about his family!"

"I do care about my family!" He told her. "You and your sisters are everything thing to me!"

"And what about your son!" She snapped again.

"He's not our son anymore!" Leonard raised his voice again before pointing at Nora and Charles. "He's their son! He always has been!"

"He's still our flesh and blood!" She countered. "How can you care so little about him! How can you punish him!"

"Punish him! We gave him up so he'd have a better life!"

"Oh yeah, he had a great life!" She answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Do you know how many times he had to sit and listen to him complain about everything he want through! How much he hated his childhood!"

"Rachel!" Ross hissed glancing at Nora and Charles' hurt looks.

"Do you know how many times I sat there, thanking God that I never had a childhood like his!" She paid no attention to her boyfriend. "But you know what? He was probably better off because he knew the truth!"

"Look, Honey…I know you're upset that we didn't tell you the truth…" Sandra started but was cut off once again.

"I'm not just upset! I'm hurt and angry!" She stated.

"Why are you so angry? No matter what you say or think, we did give you a good upbringing…you had everything you ever wanted!" Leonard replied.

"Why am I so angry!" She repeated, loudly. "I'm angry because I thought one of my best friends is laying in there and could die…. Now I find out his my brother! I'm angry because my boyfriend knew all about this and didn't tell me!"

"Rach…." Ross sighed and stepped closer to her but she moved away.

"I'm angry because my parents have lied to me all my life! I'm angry my best friend was going to run away because he was so scared about what would happened to him if the truth came out! And because it was you that made him run away! It was you who upset him so much he want out alone when he got mugged!" Her emotions started to get the better of her and her voice creaked as tears began to fall from her eyes and her legs gave way, making her sink down against the wall to the floor. "I'm angry because I never got to tell him how much I always wanted a big brother…"

"Oh, Rach…." Ross knelt down next to her but she still refused to let him hold her. "It's going to be okay…"

"What if he dies?" She whispered, looking at him. "What if I don't get to know him, properly?"

"He's not going to die." He assured her softly. This time she fell into his opened arms and cried while the others stood by and watched them, silently….

TBC

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