"I…I…fuck." I clench my fists together. Jax's offer sounds amazing. It wasn't something I was expecting but is it too good to be true? "I don't know." My head is spinning. The hope and need in his eyes willing me to accept his offer is driving me insane. "I need to sleep; can we talk tomorrow?"

Some of the hope in his eyes vanished, "of course." He replies with a forced smile. He's disappointed I didn't accept his offer right away but he's trying to give me the space I need.

"Thank you." I stand up and walk back toward the door. "I'm going to go find a hotel and I'll be back in a few hours."

"Don't waste your money on a hotel. You can sleep in the room I've been using. I'll sleep on the floor." He shakes his head.

"Uh…okay. Let me just get my bag." I say hesitantly.

He takes my hand and leads me upstairs, "you had a long drive. Just relax. I'll get your bag."

I nod and look around the room when he disappears. It's huge especially for a guest room, even the bed is huge. I lay down and sink into the mattress letting out an "ahhh" I don't think I've ever felt this comfortable.

"Here you go." He smiles. "The bathroom's in there." He pointed.

"Thanks." I take the bag into the bathroom and put on my pajamas feeling thankful I brought my silky ones rather than the sweatpants I thought about. I roll my eyes at myself unsure why I'm so worried about what I look like.

This isn't how I pictured this going. I figured I'd get here, see he was okay and leave. I never thought I'd be sharing a room with him debating on letting everything go and giving him another chance.

An audible gasp escaped his lips when I come out of the bathroom and he sees me in my lingerie. I bite my back a smile that I can still affect him given everything we've been through.

He takes one of the many pillows off the bed and lays down on the floor. "Get some rest, babe. Goodnight, I love you." I could tell he wanted to say more but he didn't, impressing me yet again, putting my well-being before his own need to discuss this further.

I pull the covers back on the massive bed and scoot over to the side patting the mattress. "Come on, I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor."

"It's okay. I don't mind. You need space. I don't…"

"Don't be stupid." I interrupt. "Come on. Get in bed and let's go to sleep."

He doesn't argue, he does as he's told. He climbs into bed beside me and I could hear his raspy breathing. I turn over and accidentally brush my hand against his and can feel them shaking. Jackson Teller trembling is something I'm definitely not used to.

"Goodnight beautiful." His hand squeezes mine momentarily before he pulls back.

"Night." I close my eyes and listen to his breathing. I didn't expect to feel this comfortable laying here so close to the man that broke my heart but it feels natural, it feels right.

It doesn't take long for his breathing to even out and I can tell he's asleep. I wish it was that easy for me. My mind is racing. I want to believe everything he's saying but it won't be that easy for him to walk away from the club. I don't even have a problem with the club-well not exactly-but a life with him without worrying if he'll end up dead, in prison, or in the bed of a random croweater whore is appealing.

I can't just forget what he did though, as much as I want to. He used to be the only person in the world that I trusted and now that's all gone. How can you be with someone that you don't trust?

…

The light filtering into the room pulls me from my slumber. I sit up and stretch my arms out looking over at a sleeping Jax. He looks so peaceful. He's so handsome. I've missed being able to watch him sleep and get an unfiltered view of all of his features.

"Please forgive me. I love you." He mutters in his sleep.

I sigh and pull my knees up to my chest hugging them. I don't know what to do. I was so certain that I was done with him. Now I'm almost certain that I'll never be truly over him.

"Hey." He raises up. "Good morning. You alright?" He rubs his hand down my back before quickly pulling it away.

"Yeah, just thinking." I grant him a small smile. "Jax, I don't think I can just forget what you did. If I can't trust you, how can we make this work? If you're not with me, it's highly plausible that I'm going to assume you're out fucking around."

"I know." He sighs, the defeated look back in his eyes. The look that breaks my heart. "I'll do whatever it takes though, even if that means never leaving your side-attaching myself at your hip." He grins.

"Okay," I pause gathering my thoughts, "I want us to get past this but it will take time. I want to take things slow. I want to make sure that everything you're promising me is one hundred percent accurate and not just smoke."

He nods with a wide smile, "okay, okay. I will do whatever you want. Whatever it takes." His bright "Jax smile" breaks my heart. I can see how much he wants this; I just hope he keeps his promises. I will definitely make him work for it though. This won't happen overnight; forgiveness won't be easy. He caused me more pain than I ever could have imagined and I'm not just going to sweep that under the rug. He's not going to get a pass. He will have to prove himself in every aspect every single day until I genuinely believe that he's a different man than the one who intentionally hurt me.

"So are you going to go out with that guy during this time?" His eyes are clenched shut. He asked the question but I can tell he doesn't really want the answer…at least the one he's expecting.

I stare at him and bite my thumb nail in thought, do I want to go out with Logan? He is a nice guy but it seems kind of pointless and wrong since we're trying to work things out. "No, I don't think so. I guess you are my boyfriend. We just aren't having sex or any of those things right now." I pause wondering how he'll be able to handle no sex. "Are you going to be okay with that? No sex with me or anyone else."

"Yes." He answers without hesitation. "I don't want anyone but you."

"Okay." My eyes fall to the bed; I stare at my hands. "I just don't think I can do that…. right now… without the vision of you and her replaying in my head."

He takes my hands in his, "I know." Tears fill his eyes. "I fucked up so bad but I will make it right…whatever it takes. If that means no sex, then my hand will be my best friend for a while. I WILL NOT betray you ever again." He kisses each of my knuckles.

"Good." I wipe a tear from his eyes. "Don't cry, you're going to make me cry."

"Sorry." He mutters.

I'm still not used to seeing him so vulnerable and knowing that he's feeling like this because of what he did to me gives me hope that he won't make these mistakes over again. I can hope anyways.

a/n: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please review!