A/N: this chapter contains a few lines that are strong T-rated. Not M, but strong T. You've been warned.
Thanks for the reviews on chapter 9 to: mary-v, htbthomas, Alphie, StealerOfDreams, septempopuli, atlantiandragoness, XJaxX, Divamercury, Nightlyeclipse, MsSupaFan, blightedmetal, Li22i096, G.A. Clive, LegendLover, The Kiss of Death, mistressbabette51, Gisela
Chapter 10
Past the Point of No Return
"You remember?" Kitty echoed Clark's words.
He silently nodded. "I… I lost my memories when I hit my head a week ago. Now I hit it again… and my memories returned." His eyes widened and he instinctively grasped the woman's hand. "How's Jason? He was looking very sick when he was taken out of the gym!"
"Don't worry, he's fine."
"Are you sure? Did you see him? Is he breathing all right?"
"I met Ross, the guy who took him his dinner," Kitty replied. "He said he just tossed the sandwich on the table in the dark but he'd heard the kid snoring gently and didn't want to wake him. Ross's a bit of a softie, if you ask me."
"Thank heaven," the man heaved a relieved sigh.
"Um… Clark?"
"Yes?"
"Would you release my hand? Kryptonite-poisoning or not, your grasp is still a bit too strong."
"Oh, sorry…" He let go of her hand, blushing in the candlelight. "I didn't mean to hurt you… I was just so worried about him…" He swallowed hard. "I still can't believe he's my son. I mean… of course I believe it… it's just… too much to take. I never knew... My gosh, what could Lois be thinking of me now?"
"I'm sure she's worried about you."
"Worried? More like mad, and with a good reason," he sighed, looking away from Kitty, focusing his eyes on the bare brick walls in which he was sure there were chunks of Kryptonite hidden, but in much smaller amounts than in the gym. Just enough to keep him weak and deprived of his super-powers, but not enough to kill him. "I… I left her in trouble, Katherine. I just… don't know how to cope with this… In my whole life, I strived to do the right thing… in everything. But I failed miserably. And because of me, now Lois, my mother and my son are all in danger. I wish I hadn't come back… No. I wish I hadn't left in the first place. Then I could have been there for Luthor's trial and…" He let out a small, cold laugh. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You're Luthor's girlfriend."
"I am. But that doesn't mean I agree with him on everything."
He took her hand again. "I thought as much. You're a good person, Katherine."
She shook her head. "I'm not good, Clark. I'm just… feeling guilty."
He smiled at her. "I don't think you're doing this to ease your pangs of remorse."
"Then?"
"I saw you crying on New Krypton, Katherine. I was being kicked around by Luthor's gorillas, but… I couldn't help noticing your tears. Those were not tears of guilt… but tears of compassion."
Kitty looked away, not daring to meet his eyes.
"Can I ask you a little favour, Katherine?"
"It depends," she said.
"Can you tell Lois and my mother that I remember everything? Can you tell them in a way that Luthor and his men don't find out?"
"Why do you trust me of all people with something like this, Clark?" Kitty looked surprised, even touched.
"I don't know. I just do."
"All right. I think I can do this for you."
"Thank you, Katherine. And if you can, tell Lois that I'm… sorry. For all the suffering I caused her. Will you tell her?"
She squeezed his hand. "I will, Clark."
With that, she stood up, hid the flask of ointment in her pocket, then picked up the candle and blew it out. Clark heard the door open and close, a key turn in the lock, and he was left alone with his thoughts.
Lying on his back, he stared into the darkness, for the first time in several years not being able to see anything. His special vision, like all of his talents, was suppressed by the Kryptonite-filled walls. The pain caused by the presence of the green crystal wasn't as agonising as it was in the gym, but it was still there. A dull throbbing in his whole body. Poor Jason, he thought dejectedly. So young and having to suffer just as much as I am… At the thought of his son suffering from Kryptonite, he felt something cold touch his ears. He realised it was tears running down his cheeks, across his ears, onto the raw sack that functioned as his bed. He didn't remember the last time he'd cried.
Sniffing, he blinked back the tears that had just welled up in his eyes, but he couldn't do anything about the pain compressing his chest. It was worse than the physical pain he'd felt in the gym, and he knew it was a pain that no doctor, not even the healing sunrays could do anything about. It was guilt, and it was suffocating him. This is what a Dementor's presence must have felt to Harry, he thought bitterly, remembering one of his favourite books. As if I'd never feel happy again. And perhaps I never will. Even if I survive Luthor's torture and manage to save my family somehow… I still can't make up for the sins of the past…
Strangely, thinking of Lois and Jason as his family filled him with a so far unknown warmth. But it was short-lived. They belong to Richard. It's Richard who built them a proper life, it's him who supported Lois when I wasn't around, and it's him who was Jason's father instead of me. I have no right to either Lois or Jason. Richard does. They deserve to have a proper family life without me ruining it. And if I survive this ordeal, I'll do everything I can to make sure they become… or remain a family. He gulped. He knew it was the right thing to do, to give up on them to keep them safe and happy. But it hurt. Terribly.
o O o
Lois couldn't fall asleep. Her heart was too full of fear for her son and Clark, and too full of frustration over not being able to do anything to help them. By New Krypton, she could save Clark, simply diving into the water and pulling him up, but now… she was completely helpless. Hers, Jason's and Martha's life depended on Clark's, and Clark's depended on Luthor.
She found that she wasn't a bit scared for her own safety, nor for Martha's, as they weren't exposed to Kryptonite-poisoning, but the boys were. She allowed herself a small smile at thinking of Clark and Jason as 'the boys'. Then she remembered that earlier she'd used to think of Jason and Richard as 'the boys'. How come Clark had taken over Richard's place so easily in her heart? Or perhaps… it had been Richard who had usurped Clark's place in her heart and now that its rightful owner was back, Richard was no more than… than a what? – She wondered.
Shaking her head, she berated herself for being so selfish and so ready to forget all those wonderful years she'd spent with her fiancé. He deserved better than that… She couldn't leave him… But could she stay with him out of gratefulness? She loved him, yes, but more as a friend than as a future husband. He was her anchor, a warm haven she could return to after a rough time on the sea, but… what if the 'rough sea', Clark, felt much more alluring than the warm haven?
She bent her head on her knees and squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that wanted to escape. For minutes she just listened to the silence. Suddenly, she heard the door of her room open. She looked up, but saw absolutely nothing in the darkness. For a second it crossed her mind that one of Luthor's goons had decided to disobey his employer and was here to rape her. The door closed behind the unknown visitor, and Lois's heart began to race. There was no denying it, fearless reporter Lois Lane was afraid.
"It's me, Kitty," a female voice whispered. There was a soft sound of a match being lit, and in the next instant Lois saw Luthor's girlfriend in the light of one single candle.
"Kitty?" she whispered back. "What are you doing here?"
"Bringing news from Clark."
"Is he awake?" Lois felt her insides fill with hope and excitement.
"Yes, he's awake," replied the other woman. "He's regained his memories."
"WHAT?" Lois gasped, a bit too loud.
"Shhhh!" Kitty said, holding her index-finger to her lips. "Yes, he remembers everything. The fall… he hit his head and it brought his memories back. He asked me to tell you that he's sorry."
"Sorry, for what?"
"Well, leaving you pregnant and stuff like that…" came the vague answer. "He looked awfully guilty. You'd think he was suffering much more because of his pangs of remorse than because of his wounds."
"His wounds… oh my gosh… I forgot. How's he doing?"
"More or less okay. There isn't much Kryptonite in his room, because Lex wants to make sure he gathers a little strength over the night so that…"
"So that he can continue torturing him the next day," Lois finished the sentence with a sinking feeling in her stomach. It was wonderful to know that Clark finally remembered his past, but she didn't want him to suffer because of it. She knew she was supposed to feel some malicious joy now that he was finally 'paying' for his mistake of leaving her and wiping her memories, but she couldn't find it in her heart to rejoice over his misery.
"Yeah…" Kitty sighed. "Well, I've gotta go now. I'll tell Clark's mother too that he remembers. Shall I tell Jason too?"
"Jason? Oh, Jason!" Lois breathed. In her excitement over Clark's restored memories, she'd forgotten about her son. She felt ashamed. For the past five years Jason had always come first, and he was always supposed to come first. "How's my son, Kitty, do you know?"
"He's fine, don't worry." The other woman's voice was soothing and almost friendly. "Clark too asked me about the boy's health… actually, that was the first thing he asked after he regained his memories. He loves that little boy a lot."
Lois bit into her lower lip. "He doesn't even know Jason."
"But he knows the boy is his. And tell you what, I think he'd love the boy even if he wasn't the father. Clark is a good man. The most selfless man I've ever known."
Yes, isn't he? Lois thought sourly. He'd given up his chance to be happy with me, to be able to remain everyone's saviour. But then, he left Earth just like that, and left not only me and our child, but also six billion others in the lurch, just because he needed some soul-searching. She felt anger surge up in her, but it was gone as soon as it had come. Do I have a right to judge him? And did he have the right to decide for me and take my memories without my consent? She wanted to be mad at him, to blame him, but found that she couldn't. Heck, he only did what he thought would spare me the suffering! Even the road to hell is paved with good intentions… "Yes, Kitty. He's really the most selfless man I've ever known."
"You love him, don't you?"
Lois wanted to say that she didn't know, as a few days ago she still hadn't been sure about her feelings for Clark, but now… there was no point in denying it. "I do."
Kitty smiled sadly. "I thought so. He's really cute. More than cute… extremely handsome is a more proper phrase… But you know what? I think it's not his perfect face or amazing muscles that's the loveliest about him."
Lois was surprised to hear Lex Luthor's girlfriend talk about Superman as 'lovely'. "Er… what, then?"
"It's his inner strength," Kitty said with the air of a much wiser woman than she appeared to be. "I saw it. On New Krypton, and in the gym today… He has an overwhelming personality. He can talk so reassuringly, even when he's horribly upset. It's… I don't know… magical."
"When did you talk to him in private?"
The other woman gave her an awkward smile. "When I visited him in his room, just a few minutes ago. I treated his wounds. Of course Lex and his gorillas have no idea…"
Lois's eyes widened. "You treated his wounds?"
Kitty shrugged. "I couldn't leave him bleeding through the night, could I?" An embarrassed expression flashed across her face. "I really have to go now. Good night, Lois."
"Wait!"
Kitty turned back. "Yes?"
"Could you… could you somehow… take me to visit him?"
The other woman shook her head. "I don't think so. But… we'll see. I promise I'll try at least."
Lois nodded. "Thank you, Kitty."
"For what?"
"For giving me his message."
Kitty sent her a sad smile. "I didn't do it for you." With that, she blew out the candle, leaving Lois alone in her room.
o O o
Jason was awakened by one of Luthor's thugs. "Here's your breakfast, kid. Haven't you eaten your dinner?"
Jason rubbed his eyes, yawning. "Why, did you bring me dinner?" His glance fell upon the table where he saw a plate with a sandwich and a glass of water. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't realise. I must've fallen asleep."
"You'd better eat both sandwiches," the man grunted. "If Mr. Luthor finds out you're not eating properly…"
"Is Mr. Luthor worried about me, Mr. Ross?" Jason asked innocently.
The man gave him a wry smile. "Hardly. But he doesn't want you to die as long as he can use you to torture Superman. Hey… you remembered my name?"
The child shrugged. "I have a very good memory. Mommy says I have a high IQ. Though, I don't know what IQ is. I guess it means I'm clever, but…"
The man was no longer paying him attention but was looking intently at the wardrobe. "Did this wardrobe used to be here? Wasn't it over there yesterday?" He pointed at a corner.
"Nooooo." Jason shook his head. "It always used to be here. I remember, I really have a very good memory."
The man gave him a suspicious stare that Jason answered with as innocent a smile as he could muster.
"Are you sure, kid?"
"Yeah…" Jason said with a cough. "Do you think… cough… I could move it… cough… on my own? I'm so weak, Mr. Ross!"
"Weak, eh?" The muscleman knitted his eyebrows. "Superman's son, weak. That must be the joke of the century."
Jason shrugged. "That green stuff… weakens me. Makes me queasy."
The man's eyes flashed. "You'd better not throw up the sandwich once you've eaten it. I don't feel like cleaning up after you like I had to after Superman yesterday."
"Mr. Ross, how's he doing?" The boy asked, knowing that he wasn't supposed to see the torture Superman had gone through. "What did they make him do?"
"None of your business, kid. He's alive, and no more questions. Eat that bloody sandwich!"
"No swearing, Mr. Ross! Mommy said it's rude to swear."
The man rolled his eyes. "You're horribly annoying, kid. Must've inherited that from good ol' Daddy."
"Not from Daddy, no." Jason shook his head. "Daddy isn't my bio…logic father. It's Superman."
Ross seemed ready to start banging his head into the wall. "I was referring to Superman!"
"Then say 'Father' not 'Daddy'."
"You know what, kid? I think I'm going to ask for a pay-rise for putting up with you."
Jason frowned. "Was that an in… insult? I think that's the word. Mommy says it's not nice to insult people."
"Yes, and I will listen to a five-year-old."
"Was that another insult?"
"No, kid, that was irony."
"What's irony? Does it have something to do with iron?"
Ross waved and left the room, muttering something like 'No pay-rise is worth this.' He didn't stop muttering insults about Jason for another five minutes. And Jason was surprised that he heard every word of it, even when the man had reached the other end of the building.
o O o
The phone was ringing. Richard didn't know how long it had been ringing. Seconds? Minutes? Half an hour?
Groggily, he got out of the bed and staggered to the phone. "Richard White speakin'," he said, his tongue not yet fully working.
"Richard, it's your father-in-law," came a grumpy voice from the phone.
"Ah, Generaaaal," Richard yawned. "S'ry. Been sleepin'. By the way, you're not yet my father-in-law." And if things keep going like this, you will never be, he added in thought bitterly.
"Oh, forgive me for waking you at eleven o'clock, Sonny," Sam Lane's voice sounded sarcastic. "Would you give the phone to my daughter? I've been trying to reach her on her mobile phone for a day and she isn't responding."
"Oh… 'course, you don't know…" Richard sighed, dropping himself on the couch. His head was hurting horribly. He hadn't drunk alcohol last night like he had two nights before, but he was the type who couldn't hold his liquor, and on the very few occasions he got a hangover, it lasted for over a day. Besides, he'd taken a few sedative pills as well, because he had been sure that otherwise sleep would completely elude him. A hangover combined with the effect of sleeping pills had been enough to knock him out so hard that not even a whole jug of extra strong coffee would put him right.
"What don't I know?" the general snapped. "Call Lois to the phone this instant, Sonny!"
"Uh… listen, General… the problem is, I don't know where she is. I've been trying to reach her since Friday evening in vain. Her mobile phone is either shut off or she's someplace where she can't recharge it or where there's no reception, or… she lost it."
"What do you mean by you don't know where she is?"
Richard heaved a sigh. He never liked talking to Lois's father. Such an old, grumpy man who even insisted on being called 'General' instead of 'Sam' or 'Mr. Lane'… Ridiculous. "Look, General, the main problem isn't Lois here. She's with Superman, so she's supposed to be safe. Jason is the problem. He's gone missing."
"Missing? Jason? Lois with Superman? She's not still in love with that freak in blue tights, is she?"
That freak in blue tights is the father of your favourite grandson…
"I don't know, General," Richard said testily. "Jason was kidnapped from school on Friday. I wanted to contact Lois and tell her, but couldn't reach her."
"And you're not worried about her because she's with Mr. Wonderful, are you? Well, listen here, Sonny, in the past two days there's been an earthquake in Japan, a terror attack in Rome, a flood in India and a plane crash in Georgia, and Superman didn't show up to help anyone! Something's happened to the guy, and if my daughter is with him, then something happened to her too! And how dare you not call me when my grandson is kidnapped?"
"I'm sorry, General. I've been a bit… disoriented lately. The Police are on the case, and there's nothing we can do except pray that they find Jason and that Superman can take care of himself and Lois. Good-bye, General." With that, Richard ended the call. The only thing he didn't like about the idea of marrying Lois was getting General Lane as his father-in-law. And, he had to admit it to himself that with every passing minute he felt less and less sure if Lois still liked the idea of marrying him…
A sour smile appeared on his face. The general had been talking down to him ever since Lois had announced that she was engaged to him. Richard doubted if Sam Lane would ever approve of any man his daughter chose as her life-mate. Not even Superman himself stood a chance to be accepted by the general as his son-in-law. Why am I even thinking of Superman being the general's son-in-law? I'm being silly again. He sighed. Or am I?
"I don't know if you hear me, Superman, but you'd better keep Lois safe," he muttered, ignoring the ringing phone, suspecting that it must be Lois's dad again. Let the old man stew.
o O o
Jason spent the rest of the morning listening in on various conversations held in the villa, and at moments when no one was speaking, he entertained himself with listening to the chirping birds in the forest outside. He was amazed to realise that he could even hear the soft splashing of the nearby lake.
It's super-hearing, he established in himself. Superman hears the cries for help, no matter who and where they're shouting. Am I going to be just like him? Will I be able to fly? That would be so cool! I have X-ray vision, super-hearing and I can lift anything I want. He grinned down at the bed he was sitting on. He'd lifted it five times in the past ten minutes, just to see if he could. It was a bed whose frame was made of steel, but Jason had pushed it over his head as easily as though he'd been holding a feather.
For a while he looked through the wall, focusing on a squirrel climbing a nearby Douglas fir, but as soon as voices caught his ears, he turned his attention away from the reddish animal and focused on the room he'd heard the voices coming from. Undoubtedly, it was the gym.
Jason's stomach clenched as he watched two of Luthor's henchmen drag Superman into the gym, followed by another two, leading his mother and grandmother.
Luthor and his girlfriend with the cute doggie were already waiting for them in the gym. Jason had the impression that Luthor's girlfriend wasn't too happy about what she was witnessing. She looked pale, and there was something sad in her eyes. She likes Father, the boy perceived. She feels sorry about him because the bald man is going to hurt him again…
Jason swallowed the lump in his throat and decided to watch the scene. It had been horrible yesterday to see his father bleeding and in pain, but he was too curious to look away this time. Besides, his grandpa, General Lane, had told him that a real soldier wasn't afraid of facing anything, not even if it was scary. At age three, Jason had decided to become a general like Grandpa and had wanted to be one until a few days ago. Now he wanted to be Superman. It was so much cooler than being a general, wasn't it?
Don't be afraid… Superman can't be afraid, Jason told himself, and focused on the gym.
"Looking good, Superman," Luthor greeted his captive derisively. "Gathered some strength overnight? I hope so, because you will need it. The task is the same as yesterday – go through the obstacle course and amaze us. Amaze your charming lady friend and your loving mother. Amaze Kitty too, she admires you!"
Jason thought she'd seen the woman named Kitty flinch.
His father glanced at Kitty, who looked away, her cheeks colouring slightly.
"Clark, how are you doing?" Martha asked with a worried expression.
"Fine, Mom. I haven't broken yet." He sent the old woman an encouraging smile, then glanced at Lois. Jason didn't know much about the adults' complicated emotions, but even he could sense that there was something practically vibrating in the air between his parents. Then his father broke the eye contact and, somewhat shakily, began walking towards the wall-bars.
Jason clenched his tiny hands into fists as his father reached out towards the Kryptonite-covered bars.
"Clark!"
Jason saw his father turn around to see a desperate expression on Lois's face.
"I love you!"
A small smile appeared on Superman's face. "I know." With that, he turned back to the wall-bars and began climbing.
I bet he saw Star Wars, Jason thought amusedly, but his amusement didn't last long. In a few minutes his father was bleeding heavier than last time, and his face was just as contorted with pain as the previous day. But he kept going.
Jason found himself digging his fingernails into his palms (strangely his nails didn't leave the slightest indent on his skin), his lips moving silently. "Come on, Father, you can do it! Come oooon!"
Superman had made through the high bars without slipping and reached a tiny pool that he was supposed to swim across. By that time he was so exhausted that after a few strokes with his hands, he began to sink.
"He's drowning!" Jason screamed in his room.
"He's drowning!" Lois yelled. "Get him out!"
"Clark, hold out!" Martha shouted.
Luthor gave his men a wave. "Get him out. We don't want him to die. Yet."
Superman was fished out of the pool. "He isn't breathing," one of Luthor's thugs established.
Jason had always wondered why his mother was often referred to as 'Mad Dog Lane'. He'd never really seen her getting herself in trouble (besides going aboard The Gertrude without invitation), but he'd heard that she'd been a fearless woman in her younger days, and also somewhat tomboyish, having been raised by General Lane who'd always wanted to have a son as his firstborn. Now, Jason finally understood why his mother was called 'Mad Dog Lane'.
Lois pushed three of Luthor's gorillas out of her way and stormed to the unconscious Superman. "Move aside!" she snapped at the two who had fished Jason's father out of the pool. Jason even saw the shock on the men's faces. His Mommy could be really fearsome… lucky that she never shouted at him, not even when he'd done something mischievous.
With bated breath, Jason watched as his Mommy bent and kissed Superman. Funnily, Jason didn't find it was a bad thing. He'd seen his mother kiss Superman in the hospital a week earlier. And Superman loved his Mommy. Was it wrong if his Mommy loved him back? Being a five-year-old, Jason wasn't aware that a woman wasn't supposed to be in love with two men at once, and that if his Mommy loved his Father, then she might not stay with his Daddy.
Then he realised that his mother wasn't kissing Superman. She was trying to resuscitate him. Jason had seen how it's done in Baywatch.
In the gym no one spoke. With pale faces, Martha and Kitty watched Lois's attempts at reviving the young man. Luthor watched the scene with a small smile on his lips, while his men looked simply confused.
After about a minute, Superman began coughing.
Wow, Mommy's as good as Pamela Anderson! Jason thought admiringly.
He saw his father send his mother a grateful glance (at least Jason assumed his father's glance was grateful), and he saw tears welling up in his mother's eyes. Why was his Mommy crying when Superman was alive? Weren't people only supposed to be crying when someone died?
Feeling slightly bewildered, he watched as two of the musclemen carried the heavily dripping Superman out of the gym.
"The show's over for today, ladies," Luthor said. "Hopefully he'll reach the other end of the pool tomorrow. It's kind of boring to see him stumbling, falling and drowning all the time…"
"The water's green," Jason heard his mother hiss at the bald man.
Luthor shrugged. "Just a little chemistry experiment, Miss Lane. Dissolved Kryptonite. I thought you would appreciate my creativity… well, apparently not." He gave the woman a nasty smirk. "Have a nice day, Miss Lane." He waved at his thugs who led both Jason's mother and grandmother back into their rooms. Jason followed them with his X-ray vision and saw that their rooms were more or less nice, about as well furnished as his own. But his father's room could barely be called a room. It was like a cell in a medieval fortress.
Jason shuddered as he saw two of Luthor's men drop Superman on the cold concrete floor. A shiver ran down Superman's body and Jason heard his teeth chatter. "He's going to catch a cold," the little boy muttered. "Give him dry clothes. He's cold, don't you see?"
Steps echoed on the corridor, shaking Jason back to reality.
The door of his room opened and Ross entered with his lunch. "I heard you talking, kid. Who were you talking to?"
Jason gulped. "My invisible friend?"
Ross rolled his eyes. "Invisible friend, of cooourse! Don't take me for a fool, kid. You were just playing, admit it."
The little boy nodded. "I was. So what? Mr. Ross, when can I visit my father? And when can Mommy or Granny visit me? I miss them. And I'm bored."
"That's why you have all those nice green toys," Ross sneered at him. "Don't you like 'em, kid?"
Jason glanced at the Kryptonite toys. Truth was that he liked them, although he preferred fluffy plushies instead of hard and cold figurines. "Not really. They hurt me when I touch them. Tell Mr. Luthor I want to see Mommy, Father and Granny!"
"As young Master White commands." Ross bowed with a mocking smile and left the room.
Jason wrinkled his nose. "That was irony. I think."
o O o
"Honestly, the greatest hero in the world, and he's much thicker than one would think…"
Clark looked up to see Kitty's face in the dim light provided by the candle. "Er… cough… Katherine? What do you mean by…?"
The woman rolled her eyes. "I know you're in a bad shape, Clark, but surely you could have got out of your wet clothes on your own, couldn't you?"
"Uh… cough… yeah, probably." The man blushed slightly.
"Let's get you out of these wet things, and then I'll treat your wounds. Here, I'll help you." She unbuttoned his shirt and began pulling it off of him. When her hands began fumbling with his belt, he froze.
"Katherine, just… leave that."
She rolled her eyes. "This is no time for modesty, Clark. You've already caught a cold. I expect you don't want to catch pneumonia?"
He shook his head.
"Good. Then off with those trousers!"
Reluctantly, Clark unbuckled his belt and Kitty helped him pull off the trousers.
"I'm going to put them in the dryer for the night. You'll get them back at dawn."
"At dawn? What time is it now?" He frowned up at her.
"Eleven p.m. You've been in wet clothes for almost twelve hours. A wonder you aren't running a fever already. Kryptonite or not, your body is still stronger than the average…" She absentmindedly ran a finger down his muscled chest, making his shudder.
He gently but deliberately swept her hand away. "Luthor or his men didn't see you, did they?"
Kitty shook her head, looking slightly disappointed at being denied the chance to touch him. She almost wished he had some smaller wound on his stomach that needed tending, because then she'd have a good excuse to make contact with his amazing abs. "Don't worry, they are in bed already, save for those two patrolling the corridors. But they didn't see me and I'll make sure they don't see me when I bring you your clothes back." She gave him a wink and unscrewed the flask that contained the ointment. This time she only needed to apply it to his palms and fingertips, as the rest of his body that had made contact with Kryptonite had been covered with at least a thin layer of fabric. "All right, done. And now, give me your boxers."
"My what?"
"Your boxers. They are just as wet as the rest of your clothes."
Clark turned as red as the setting sun.
"Honestly, Big Boy, I'm starting to wonder how you ever got to father that little guy, being as shy as you are…" She grinned at him. "Hey, I'll extinguish the light, and then you can take off your boxers. I can't see in the dark, I promise."
He let out a small, nervous laugh. "All right. I want you to know that I'm really… grateful for your… caring, Katherine. I don't know how to thank you for that."
She gave him a wry smile. "You saved my life once."
He shrugged. "I've saved thousands of others. It's routine for me. But for you… I doubt if going behind Luthor's back is routine. You're taking great risk by helping me. Why are you doing it, Katherine?"
She shook her head and blew out the candle. "Just give me those boxers."
o O o
Day after day passed, and Kitty felt worse and worse every day when Lex made them enter the gym and witness another pathetic failure of Superman's. Day after day Superman got further on the obstacle course, and bruised himself more and more in the process. Night after night she visited him in his cell and treated his wounds. She'd managed to talk Lex out of making Superman swim across the pool again, saying that if their captive drowned or caught pneumonia, they would lose their chance to further torture him. She even caught Lois Lane's eyes when she'd suggested this change to Lex, and thought she'd seen curiosity on the other woman's face… as if Lois had been silently asking her why she was helping Superman… and she had to admit it to herself that not even she knew the answer.
o
Superman and his family had been held captive in Luthor's mountainside villa for a week when the hero's health condition started to rapidly deteriorate. Apparently in the seven days spent in the villa, the poison-concentration in Superman's body had reached such a high level that it finally began killing him.
According to Ross, little Jason was doing fine, although he kept complaining about feeling sick and weak because of the Kryptonite.
On the eighth day of Superman's captivity, the hero didn't even manage to climb the wall-bars at the beginning of the obstacle course but fainted as soon as his hands touched the Kryptonite rungs. He was immediately carried out of the room, and Kitty saw a disappointed pout on Lex's face. "Too easy. Too quick," the man muttered as his employees 'escorted' Lois and Martha back to their rooms. "I was hoping it'd take him longer to break. But well… he's dying, isn't he? I can consider Superman's death as my most special birthday present."
Kitty forced a smile. "Of course, Lex. It's your birthday tomorrow!"
He made a grimace. "If Superman wasn't dying, I would have invited him to my pre-birthday party tonight. Of course, I could still invite Miss Lane…" He shook his head. "Eh, rather not. She'd only ruin my mood with her blood-shot eyes and guilt-awakening expression… It's going to be a private party. You, me, and our employees."
"Sounds wonderful, Lex…" Kitty rubbed her nose to his.
"I wonder why you don't look as happy as you sound," he replied coldly.
o O o
Lois didn't know how long she'd been lying on her cot, staring at the silver streaks the moon painted on the floor. Her eyes ached with all the tears she'd shed since Superman had collapsed without even entering the obstacle course.
She knew she must look a mess, but she didn't care. She knew that she and Clark had already lost their job by failing to hand in an earth-shatteringly amazing Superman exclusive to Perry, but she didn't care. If they both died, then her stupid career wouldn't matter at all. And if only he died… well, Lois caught herself thinking that her career didn't matter in that case either. Damn all the Pulitzers, all the fame and glory she'd craved as a journalist, and damn the bloody comfort she'd got used to as Richard White's cherished fiancée! All that mattered were Clark and Jason. And Clark was dying, there was no doubt about that.
The door of her room opened, and she looked up from the floor to see the thin form of Kitty enter. The other woman silently closed the door behind her.
Lois sniffed, and decided not to ask her about Clark. She would only tell her that he was dying, and it would finalise it. She would need to face the cruel reality, and she didn't want that. Not yet, anyway.
"How's my son doing, do you know?" she croaked.
"Remarkably well," Kitty replied. "Ross says he's bloody annoying… but as long as he's annoying, he's alive and kicking. It's not Jason you should worry about, Lois."
The young reporter nodded, but didn't meet Kitty's eyes.
"There are no guards on the corridor right now. They're at Lex's birthday party."
Lois looked up with a surprised expression. Was the other woman hinting at what she thought she was hinting at?
"Come. He needs you now."
"He's dying… isn't he?" Lois whispered.
Kitty heaved a sigh. "I fear he is. And there's nothing I can do to help him now. Today he didn't even touch Kryptonite… there are no open wounds to be treated. At least… not on his skin… but there might be some, on his soul. And only you can heal those, Lois. I'll take you to him." Kitty turned towards the door, but Lois caught her arm.
"You love him… don't you?"
Kitty looked away. "Just come. He needs you."
o O o
Clark heard the door of his cell open. He couldn't see anything in the darkness, as his cell had no window. It was just as dark at daytime as it was at night, so he didn't even know whether it was night or day.
As the door opened, he saw a thin, feminine frame backlit by the moonlight coming through a window on the corridor.
The door closed.
"Katherine?" he whispered.
The woman came closer and he assumed she'd crouched down next to him.
"Katherine, what…?"
"It's not Katherine," the woman replied in an only too familiar voice.
A shiver of excitement ran through his battered body. "Lois!"
"Shhhh!"
His heart racing in his chest, he remained silent. After a few seconds, a tiny flame appeared out of the darkness, divided into two, then one of the flames winked out. Lois had lit a candle.
"Lois…" he whispered as he caught a glimpse of her pretty but worried face in the dim candlelight.
"Clark… how… how're you doing?"
"Swell… especially now that you're here with me…" He smiled weakly. "How… come you're here?"
"Kitty. She helped me visit you as she'd promised she would."
"She… promised?"
Lois gave him an embarrassed smile. "Days ago I asked her to bring me to you if possible. Now she did."
He grimaced. "Because she knew… that this might the last chance…"
She reached out and took his right hand. "What are you talking about?"
"Lois… I wasn't telling the truth…" He gave her a painful expression. "I'm not exactly 'swell'. I know I don't have… much time left. And I'm so… thankful to Katherine for… bringing you here… giving me a chance to tell you how… how sorry I am."
Tears welled up in her eyes. "Clark, don't-"
He reached out with his left hand, gently putting his index finger on her lips. "Let me talk. Let me apologise. I can't… can't leave without gaining your forgiveness, Lois."
"I've long forgiven you, Clark. For leaving me, for wiping my mind, for-"
"You know?" His eyes widened. "You… know about the mind-wipe?"
She gulped. "I'm just… assuming things, Clark. In Smallville, I had a conversation with your mother, and in the middle of it, things just… came back to me. I don't know how… I don't know why then, and why there of all places… but I remembered our time together as a couple… I remembered our happiness, however short-lived it was… I remembered your sacrifice…" She sniffed and wiped a tear away. "The only thing I don't remember was how you'd stolen my memories… but I was sure you had done it… right, Clark?"
He nodded. "I couldn't bear… to see you suffering, Lois. I… kissed away your painful memories in… in the hope of giving you… a chance to have a proper life." He looked away, ashamed. "I didn't know I was robbing… robbing you of a chance to remember our… our child's conception, because I… I didn't know you were pregnant."
"Clark…" She gently turned his face towards her again. "I did remember Jason's conception. In my dreams. Night after night, I dreamed of loving you, and when I realised I was expecting, I knew it had been you… I just didn't know that you were Clark… and I didn't know where you'd gone."
He covered her hand that was resting on his cheek with his own. "Lois… if I could turn back time… then I would do it. I wouldn't make you forget our love… I would be a proper father to our son… and I'd tell you a hundred times a day how I feel about you… But I can't turn back time. Not five years, that is…" An embarrassed grimace appeared on his pale face. "Not even I am almighty… But I want you to know… that I truly, deeply love you, Lois. You and Jason mean the world to me. Tell him… if you can." Tears welled up in his eyes at the thought of Luthor killing Jason as soon as he, Superman, died.
"He knows, Clark," she whispered, tears freely running down her cheeks, onto the man's face, mingling with his tears. "I'm sure he knows. And I want you to know that what I said the other day in the gym… I meant it. I never… never loved a man as much as I love you. And it's not only Superman I love." She shook her head with a sad smile. "For years I've been blind. I only saw the blue tights, red cape and the huge 'S' and loved the man for his suit. But since the day you woke up with no memories of your past… I began to get to know the true you. Not the idol, not the superhero… but the man who, in many respects, is more human than most of us." She ran her thumb down the side of his cheek in a gentle, caressing motion. "I'm no longer in love with Superman. I love Clark Kent."
"Lois…"
"Shhhh. Don't speak." She silenced him with a soft kiss.
Clark responded to her kiss a little more eagerly than it was expected from a dying person. He parted his lips, and her tongue immediately found its way into his mouth, teasing his tongue with gentle but deliberate strokes. Clark felt his whole body was on fire – something he hadn't felt for over five years… something he'd felt only once before. In the Fortress of Solitude, on the most wonderful night of his life.
Lois's hand travelled down his chest, slipping under his ripped and bloodstained shirt. He realised that Kitty's touch the past few nights when she'd treated his wounds never managed to arouse him, but Lois's… it was almost too much to bear. As soon as her fingers pinched one of his nipples, he let out a gasp and broke the kiss.
"Lois, I… I'm not sure…"
"Not sure of what, Clark?"
"Not sure if I can… perform in my current… condition."
With a small smile, Lois pulled her hand out from under his shirt and slipped it further down his torso until it reached an already sizeable bulge in his pants. She gently squeezed him through the fabric, eliciting a moan from him. "Not being able to perform, eh?"
"Uh, Lois…" he muttered with a flushed expression, "I meant… I can't even move…"
She pressed her index finger on his lips. "Last time you did all the pleasuring, Clark. It's my turn. Just lie back and leave the rest to me."
"I… I don't need pity sex, Lois…" he whispered.
She flashed him with a reproachful glance. "Pity, Clark? I don't pity you. I love you."
The thought 'what about Richard?' ran through his mind, but a kiss she planted on his collarbone swept it out of his head. With the last vestiges of his strength, he pulled her head to his, claiming her lips in a fervent kiss. The dice were cast… there was no going back now.
Despite his guilt, despite the knowledge that he might drop dead any second, he felt happy. Truly happy, for the first time in five years.
o
A few rooms away, a little boy stared wide-eyed at his parents. For almost an hour.
o O o
"There, you're decent," Lois whispered as she finished buttoning up his shirt. She herself had already put her clothes back on.
"Decent?" he whispered back, blushing slightly. "What we just did… was far from decent, Lois…"
"And do you mind?" she asked, kissing the tip of his nose.
Silently, he shook his head.
"Good. Now sleep and try to gather some strength. You will not die, Clark Kent, do you hear me? Fight for your life. Fight for Jason. Fight for the two of us."
Again, he nodded. "Thank you, Lois."
"For what?" She smiled, stroking his cheek. He caught her hand and kissed her palm.
"For everything."
"You're most wel-"
In that instant the door of the cell burst open.
o O o
A/N: feed the author with reviews. Author loves reviews. And spaghetti. Just like Clark.