A/N: Mikell, Cindy. What can I say. That was one traumatic ride huh and I could never have done it without you. You have no idea how much your support and friendship means to me. Thankyou. Of course Mikell, you beta'd so you get an extra cookie :-D Polaris, Mel, Brainfear. You girls rock my world. Thankyou for sticking by me and this fic. Love you girls. Aly my friend, so that's where you've been hiding :-p Don't get too comfortable, we're not done yet, not even close ;-) Everyone who's still reading. I thank you :-) Finally chapter 10 is up and running and for that you can thank my amazing girls Mikell and Cindy as previously stated. The tears, the drama, they suffered it all and hopefully it was worth it :-p

Usual disclaimer applies. I do not own anything TMNT related. :-)

"You ok bro?"

Leonardo slumped into the kitchen, sinking down into a chair, his brow creased. His eyes narrowed. He regarded his youngest sibling thoughtfully for a moment, his hands curling round the cup Donatello handed him.

"Not sure Mike," he sighed, taking a sip and relishing the way the hot liquid soothed the lump in his throat.

"Everything ok with Raph?" Donny asked, sitting down beside him.

Leo snorted, glowering. "If you think suffering from Stockholm syndrome is ok, then yeah, Raph's fine!"

Out the corner of his eye, he saw Don exchange glances with Mikey.

He sighed, dragging a weary hand across his eyes. He hadn't slept well. He'd slept terribly in fact, unable to believe his hotheaded brother was actually home. He'd even snuck into Raph's room at one point, just to convince himself the nightmare was finally over.

The shock he'd felt on finding Ruby there, curled up beside the fiery young turtle had not helped ease his discomfort. Leo wasn't sure why he felt so antagonistic toward the young woman. She'd helped his brother. Surely that meant he should feel grateful.

Donatello had inspected Raphael's wounds thoroughly, confirming their suspicions that whoever had done this to him hadn't intended Raph to live. But he was alive and a part of Leo, the part he desperately tried to listen to, knew it was because of this new friend his brother had made.

A slight frown creased his brow. No matter how hard he tried to tell himself he should be grateful, the other part of him always shouted at the back of his mind.

She drugged your brother. She stopped Raph coming home to his family.

Leonardo jumped as Mikey's hand descended on his shoulder.

"Raph's gonna be ok bro."

Leo smiled gratefully up at him, squeezing his hand. "I know Mike. I just can't stop thinking how we could have lost him." The blue-banded turtle gulped past the lump that rose in his throat.

"We get it Leo," Don chipped in. "It's hard to believe this happened. I guess some things you're just never prepared for."

Sighing again, Leo managed a weak smile. It was times like these he wished he could hold his fiery young brother as easily as he could hold Don or Mike. That was what he needed right now. To hold Raph and convince himself he was safe.

Leo scowled, fighting the pain that started to clench at his chest. During Raph's absence, all he'd done was pray his brother would come home so he could hold him, apologize and tell him he loved him. He'd been afraid he wouldn't get that chance. Now his brother was home and he did have that chance, it seemed all he could do was make matters worse by lashing out at the woman who'd helped him escape.

It didn't make any sense to Leonardo. He needed guidance to sort through his scattered feelings. Splinter. He needed Splinter.

A low cough brought his thoughts back to the present. Turning his head, his scowl deepened.

Ruby's eyes didn't leave his face. Her hand clutched a backpack, which she held out to Donatello.

"Your brother's medication and other medical supplies he'll need," she said shortly, still staring at Leo.

"Thanks." Leonardo heard his brainy brother reply with a hint of surprise in his voice.

Ruby's eyes left his face, turning to Don. A strained smile flitted across her features.

"I didn't want there to be any more confusion over whose side I'm on," she explained quietly.

"You really think it's that easy?" Leonardo snorted.

Ruby glanced at him. She seemed drained.

"I don't want to fight. Not today." She sounded vaguely defeated, turning on her heel to leave the room.

Leo felt his anger rise up. He stood abruptly, his fists slamming down on the table. "Damn it! I want to know why you drugged my brother!"

Ruby tensed, slowly turning back to face him. "Just be grateful I did Leo," she stated simply, leaving before he had a chance to say anything more.

Leo glared at the vacant spot. His shoulders hunched. Damn her.

Raph lay back on the bed feeling frustrated. His mind went over and over what had happened last night. It didn't make any sense to him. Why did he react so strongly to her? He sighed, rubbing his bald head.

I've never been a vulnerable person. So why does she make me feel so goddammed fragile?

Glaring at a spot on the wall he tried to think, tried to sort through the alien feelings that kept building inside him whenever she was close.

They'd started simply enough, gratitude to her for soothing his pain, now he seemed more aware of her. He could sense her presence and he wasn't sure he was comfortable with the feeling.

He knew she was coming even before he heard the soft tap on his door. His senses started twitching uncomfortably.

"Want something?" He asked coolly, turning to face her.

"Came to check your bandages."

Raphael sighed, holding out an arm. "Be my guest."

Her approach was cautious. Raph's scowl deepened.

"Take your time!" he snapped.

Hell you spend one night with a chick an' suddenly she's afraid of ya!

He yelped when Ruby yanked on his arm.

"What'd ya go an' do that for?"

"Don't take that tone with me!"

Raph blinked, momentarily stunned before bursting into laughter. He made the mistake of looking at her, seeing her indignant expression, which only served to increase his mirth.

After a moment he had no choice but to stop as pangs shot through his plastron. He winced painfully, pressing his hand against the bandaged wound.

"Serves you right!" Ruby muttered crossly, sitting beside him.

Raph's face relaxed slightly. "You gonna get to work?"

"As soon as you tell me what's wrong."

His face instantly fell back into a scowl. "Nothin!" he muttered simply, cursing silently at the faint tingle running up his arm when she placed a hand over his.

"Raph I'm serious. Talk to me."

"There ain't nothing to talk about."

There ain't. Just cause I'm feeling weird shit, don't mean I gotta tell anyone. It's that damned dream, messing with me. Making me feel things that aren't there.

Raphael glanced at the young woman. Her eyes were scanning his face. He was satisfied he wasn't portraying anything that he shouldn't be.

"This isn't just going to go away," she probed gently, carefully setting to work on his bandages.

Raph turned his head, focusing on a spot on the wall, wincing as she poked the wound on his plastron gently.

"You're lucky. This could have been a lot worse. You weren't cut deep enough to reveal any internal organs."

Raphael's head jerked back toward her. His scowl deepened.

"You call this lucky!"

Ruby sighed, running her fingers over the edges of the wound.

"The scarring should be minimal. With any luck I'll be able to remove the stitches within a week," she went on, carefully prodding the wounds on his arms and thighs.

"Great! Then maybe you'll stop fussing round me!" Raph snorted.

He didn't miss the look Ruby shot him. He didn't care. He didn't like these alien feelings she'd stirred in him. He just wanted things back to the way they were before he met her. Simple and uncomplicated.

He felt Ruby shift slightly, leaning toward him. It annoyed him that this simple act quickened his pulse.

"I have them too Raphael." She muttered softly.

Raph turned slowly to face her, ignoring the flutter in his stomach as his eyes locked with hers.

"You have what?"

"Nightmares. Why do you think I carry sleeping pills with me? There's no shame in it Raph. Talk to me, I can help."

The young turtle's mouth twisted in a sneer. So she felt sorry for him did she? She thought he couldn't handle it.

"I don't need to talk about shit! You can have your nightmares! I'm stronger than that!"

He saw the warning flash in her eyes and it thrilled him. At least with blazing eyes, she stopped tensing her face and accentuating those damned scars. She really was a joy to look at.

He shook his head angrily, frustrated by his train of thought. How dare she suggest he needed help? How dare she think he wasn't strong enough to deal with it?

How dare he keep staring at her lips, remembering the warmth of her arms, her body against his igniting a deep forbidden feeling inside him. He was supposed to be angry for fuck's sake. Now was not the time to start thinking about something he could never have.

"What did you say?" Raph heard her ask. Her voice was shaking.

"How dare you!"

The comment startled him. How dare he what?

"How dare you sit there and claim you're stronger than I am!"

"Hey!" Raph felt his own anger return in force, rising to meet hers. "I don't need to claim shit! It's the truth!"

He felt the sharp sting as her hand connected with his face. Her eyes were damp with unshed tears. Not tears of sadness. He could see it on her face. Tears of pure outrage shimmered in the golden depths of her eyes.

A furious growl erupted deep within his throat. His hands reached out, fingers digging into the soft flesh on her upper arms.

"Don't ever…ever do that again!" His face was close to hers again.

Ruby didn't flinch. She didn't move away. She held his furious gaze steadily.

Her eyes held a challenge that sent sparks shooting through the furious young turtle's body.

It was a moment's madness. Raph had no idea what came over him. She'd hit him across the face and normal procedure would be to hit her back. But this was Ruby. Despite everything, he couldn't hit her.

His body started shaking with the pent up emotions he was trying to keep at bay. His gaze traveled to her lips again.

How it happened, he didn't know. One second his face was close to hers, fighting for control. The next, he'd hauled her hard against him, crushing his mouth down on hers.

He felt Ruby tense in his arms, momentarily too stunned to pull away and he was ashamed to admit he relished the moment.

All too soon, he felt her hands push hard against his plastron.

"What the hell did you just do that for?" Ruby yelled, leaping off the bed and backing hastily away from him.

Raph didn't answer. In truth, he couldn't. He was feeling dazed. Her lips had felt just a little too good against his. The memory of her body pressed close to his was just a little too enticing.

Raising his head slightly, he looked at her face and instantly felt as though he'd just been doused with freezing water. Her face was flushed, eyes wide and frightened.

Reality dealt him a cutting blow. His sneer returned quickly.

"Was either that or return the favour!" He snarled, indicating the red mark on his face. Did he imagine the hurt look he saw flashing briefly in her eyes?

"So you just thought you'd teach me a lesson!" Ruby's voice was reaching hysteria.

"You're all the same aren't you? You just take what you can without any feeling. Not caring who you hurt in the process!"

Raphael was off the bed and on his feet in an instant, ignoring his legs' protest.

"Don't you dare try compare me to him!" Raph roared, not knowing why her words cut him so deeply.

"Why not? You act just like him! You stand there and mock me! Tell me I'm not strong enough!"

"Proof's right there Ruby!" he sneered, his angry tone covering his pain. "You could have left an' you didn't!"

"Left? There was nowhere I could go! Exactly as Sean had intended!"

"An' how the fuck should I know? You don't talk about it! Any time I ask you change the god damn subject!"

Angry tears rolled freely down her face, staining her cheeks.

"You really want to know? You think you can even begin to imagine what my life was like?"

Startling the young turtle completely, Ruby marched boldly up to him, grabbing his hand and pressing it against her face.

"Look what he did to me! Go ahead Raph! Feel it! He did this to me! Scarred me without any remorse! Made me ugly enough that people flinched every time they saw me! Go ahead! Look!"

Raph felt sick. His hand was quickly drenched in her tears. It took all his concentrated effort not too pull her close again. But at the same time, he couldn't understand why she would put up with Sean's abuse. Why would she just stay there?

Struggling to keep his tone as calm as he could, he lowered his voice to a growl.

"You should have left! Hell Ruby, you did leave! If it was easy enough for you to leave with me, then you should have left years ago!"

Exactly where her anger came from he didn't know. He didn't even have time to stumble out the way as her hand slapped sharply across his face again.

"You have no idea Raphael! I felt you remember? I felt you shake with fear! Unable to face what had happened to you! I held you till you fell asleep last night!"

Ruby was clearly beside herself.

"You spent three days there Raph! Don't even begin to try and compare that to three years!"

"Ruby…" he was trying, he wanted to understand. More importantly, right now, he wanted to hold her. His own selfish need to know she hadn't been completely repulsed by his action was blocking out every other rational thought.

"Don't! Don't say another word Raph! I lived it for three years and after all that I'm still standing! Not even you and your high and mighty attitude can take that away from me!"

She turned on her heel heading for the door. Raph followed. His pace was slow, each step agony for him, but he couldn't just let her walk out now. Not like this.

The open door, revealed raised voices coming from downstairs. Familiar voices.

Raphael struggled forward, stopping short when he caught sight of Ruby.

She stood on the landing, looking down at a scene below her. Her body was tense; her eyes terrified. She didn't move. Didn't flinch when he came up behind her. She stayed in the same ramrod position, eyes focused.

Raph's gaze followed hers. Below, looking up, were two familiar faces. One furious, the other curious and it was the curious face that Ruby was staring into.

"You okay Raphie?" Casey asked the red-banded turtle.

Raphael didn't have time to answer. April hurtled up the stairs, clutching the wounded turtle close to her.

"What have you done to him?" April demanded turning on Ruby.